All For Her

Sunlight.

The sunlight was creeping in through the window of the greenhouse across the tables and on her face. Raven could see the way her brown hair lightened up, looking more like oak than the dark brown of dirt that it would have possessed if it were in the dark. She could see herself picking apart ever single strained of hair, counting it, capturing it, drawing it to near perfection because even she knew that her unworthy hands would not be able to perfect the image in front of her.

Hermione Granger probably thought she had a starring problem with how Raven was looking at her. The stare had started with a simple glance, watching the girl as she worked, writing down the lesson they were going over using her quill. And Raven, she couldn't help but capture her.

And so, she began to sketch her out.

On her assignment.

Which had been her first mistake, because no one should know about this. They shouldn't know about Raven's sudden interest in a muggle born. Well, not like that of course. She just thought the girl needed to be sketched, captured so that her insult to her uncle would not be forgotten to the merciless winds of her mind.

She wanted to remember. Planning to never forget the sly smirk the Gryffindor wore as she left Uncle Nicholas speechless. It was truly a beautiful sight to behold, one that should be praised. At least in Raven's eyes.

But this could work too.

In fact, this was better.

She had moved to her sketchbook, dragging it out of robs because it never strayed too far from her, needing to always be within arms reach in case she ever needs a break from the world— or in this case, sketching the marvelousness of Hermione Granger.

She cursed herself in her brain at the sight of her previous sketch on the paper, not quite finished, but still, captured the girl nonetheless to know who it was. She glanced up at her teacher, Professor McGonagall, the Gryffindor head of house. And also, the mother of her godfather. Well, surrogate mother. But that didn't mean Raven did not often tease the man.

"Is Professor McGonagall your mother?" Raven had asked him. Her Godfather stiffened, coughing suddenly. He had spent Christmas break with her, not wanting to leave her alone during her first year. He turned to her, quick, and Raven couldn't help the flinch that escaped her at the sudden movement. Though, he didn't catch it, missing it by a few seconds as his face grew flustered.

Raven saw the slight hint of red on his ears, his eyes were wide, almost embarrassed.

"Of course not, Raven." He cleared his throat. "Where did you get that idea?"

Just as Raven opened her mouth to speak, she appeared in her McGonagall fashion moving like the wind against the gentle waves of water. They were sitting in the staff room, as the calming popping of the fireplace echoed throughout the room. The shadows of the fire brought Raven a sort of peace that reminded her of the times she had spent with her Godfather during the summer. The peace she had with training, and the fuzzy memories that could never pass into her brain.

She felt safe with him, safe there in the room with just the two of them. So, to see her appear as quiet as the wind, whooshing in as if she owned the place— she practically did— it startled Raven. She stiffened her once relaxed back into the nail piercing boards that Aunt Eleanor loved. And burned her elbows off of the table, scraping them with the bruises of her passed mistakes.

She sat waiting, expecting the punishment for her thoughtlessness to happen any second now. She waited for the words to escape her Professor's lips. She waited for the ruler to be brought out and for her Godfather to sit and watch as she had gotten punished because no one ever defends the daughter of the psycho Rosiers. No adult, at least.

She waited, and waited, and waited.

And yet,

"Ugh, Severus, how many times must I remind you to clean up after yourself?" Professor McGonagall groaned out, brushing away the crumbs on the table that her Godfather had left. She leaned in, sniffing him before she gagged, placing her hand over her nose whiffing her hand in front of her face to try and swipe the smell away as if it burned her. Raven hadn't noticed it. "And how long has it been since you've showered? You reek!"

All she did was smother her Godfather. Not once, calling her out for her mistake. But that didn't cause her to relax. No one bit.

"Do not fuss over me, woman!" Godfather Severus glared at her, before waving her off. "I'm not one of your students."

"You practically are with that attitude." Professor McGonagall huffed, placing her hands on her hips as if to say, 'don't start with me, boy.' She smacked his shoulder, not hard, but enough to hear the sound. "And why do you have a student in the lounge? You know that's not allowed! Ugh, your going to be the death of me. Why must you always tempt fate?"

"How many times must I tell you, woman?!" Godfather Severus exclaimed, a tug on his lips. "Fate tempts me!"

"And how many times must I tell you to shower?"

"I apologize!" Raven interrupts the conversation, halting the sound of the two adults as she quickly stands, grabbing the book her Godfather Severus had just gifted her. Her voice cracked, and her hands held a slight tremble to them. "I— I will be leaving now. I didn't know that students were allowed to be here."

Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

Raven continued, clutching her book in her hands, as she began to grab her things. Fear range through her body like a cold wave hitting her back, reminding her what would happen if she were to disobey, or disrespect any adult presence she were to be in. It was cold, gripping at her. Clawed at her back like the scars of the man who put them there when she were nine.

She had held her breath, forcing it shut so she wouldn't accidentally disrespect her Professor with any loose words that would slip from her tedious tongue. Words that would cost her a trip to the infirmary.

But just as she reached out to grab the leather sketchbook that laid comfortably on the table near her Godfather as she had been previously showing him drawing of the trees, buildings, magic she had began to draw around Hogwarts because of her ever so growing curiosity that took place around the school— and cause she trusted him enough to not go further than she had wanted, that she had full control of what she would show him and when— a hand stopped her, halting her movement as it placed its warm, welcoming, delicate presence over her arm.

But still, she flinched at the touch from the only man who had never hurt her in anyway.

"No." He said. His voice had a cold tone to it, like it always had. But it was still so soft, as he had always been around her. She met his eyes, seeing them soften ever so slightly at the scared look in her own eyes. He gave her arm a light squeeze, not too hard, never being close to hard. "Stay."

"Severus—" McGonagall gasped, moving to scold the man as if he had committed the most awful sin known to the wizard community.

"Minnie." He stated, turning back to McGonagall a gentle smile graced his lips as Raven began to sit back down in her seat, still as stiff as ever. "This is my Goddaughter, Raven Rosier."

He turned to Raven, giving her arm another gentle squeeze before taking it away. Raven found herself craving it once more. It made her feel as if she had been touch like a daughter would be by a father. If she were a daughter, that is.

"Raven, this is my.. friend—"

"Best friend." McGonagall corrected.

"Old lady that follows me around." Godfather Severus remarked with a smirk on his face at her interruption. McGonagall smacked the back of his head, a playful glare on her face before she turned to Raven.

"Nice to meet you, dear." McGonagall smiled in greeting. And Raven, she felt as if she saw the calming smile of a mother for the first time. Feeling a sting stab into her at the image of anyone else being blessed with this, while she has to return back to her cold, tense home with Aunt Eleanor's sneer. "Your Godfather has told me many things about you."

Raven felt the wave hit her back, crashing into before it began to drown her in the weight of her disappointments. She clenched her jaw, looking down to avoid the woman's friendly gaze from her undeserving eyes. "Bad things?"

Her voice sounded small, scared. And yet, she wouldn't be surprised if he had.

"Great things!"

Raven looked back at her, finding her sitting down at the seat, looking at her with a giant smile, almost proud. But that wouldn't be the case, right? No one has ever been proud of Raven. Well— she glanced over at her Godfather, who was looking at her with sad pitiful eyes,— her Godfather had always sung her praises with every spell she had let slip out of her hands with ease, and even the ones that she had struggled with, he had still said it.

But she still couldn't fight the voice.

"You're only exceptional because of your magic." Uncle Nicholas's voice echoed inside of her brain. "That's the only reason your precious Godfather puts up with you."

The way he said precious had sent chills down her spine, the insult was as clear as day.

And yet, she couldn't help but hope. Her eyes twinkled, a smile tugged up and onto her lips. "Really?"

"Yeah!" McGonagall continued. "You're a quick learner."

"Of course she is." Godfather Severus glared at his friend. "She's my Goddaughter."

"Look at you, acting all maternal on me."

"I am not maternal!"

"Am I the mother in this relationship? Or are you?" McGonagall teased, while her Godfather rolled his eyes.

"You are not my mother." He huffed, leaning back into his seat.

"She's not?" Raven couldn't help but ask. McGonagall laughed, wholeheartedly. She threw her head back, as her laughter echoed into the room. Raven felt herself flush, feeling as if she had said something wrong.

"Oh!" McGonagall said through her laughter, clutching her stomach. "I'm going to pee myself."

"You have a weak bladder, women!" Godfather Severus exclaimed. "Don't you dare pee in here!"

"I can't— I can't—"

"Oh lord help me."

Raven felt her lips tug up at the memory, at how the woman— the professor, she corrected— acted so freely amongst Raven after being introduced as Severus's Goddaughter, as if that changed things. She supposed it had, considering her Godfather is also a teacher, and he had to have friends here as well. Not just Raven. So, those friends of his probably saw a different side of him than Raven had. A funnier, snarkier side.

Raven felt her heart warm up at the thought of her Godfather not being alone. Of being happy, instead of the cold, hesitant side of himself that he was around Raven since she was nine. Considering that was as far as she could remember. Even then, her brain was still fuzzy from time to time as she tried to search for the lost memories that were held in her brain.

But all she could remember were the cold chains, the cracking of the whips hitting the floor, and the cries.

The blood.

"Miss. Rosier," Professor McGonagall called her out, snapping Raven out of the fog of memories that overcame her. "Remind the class what we were discussing a few moments ago."

Raven could tell by her tone that it was not a question, but an order. She stiffened, feeling unwanted eyes on her at the attention. She glanced up, meeting her gaze. It was times like these where Raven was reminded that just because her Godfather was her best friend, she would not play favorites. And Raven truly respected her for it.

"We were discussing everything we had learned last year to refresh our minds before we begin the next curriculum." Raven began to explain, earning an eyebrow raise from Professor McGonagall as if to say 'go on.' Raven could feel the burning gaze of the brown eyes that she was currently capturing in her ridged hands. The sound of her two friends whom were gossiping beside her, quieted. "You had asked us if we had any questions to raise our hands and ask. Melissa asked about the switching spell and if you could demonstrate it to her. Robert asked about last years exams and asked if he could retake it, even though we all know that he had gotten a 90."

Laughter was heard around the room, quiet as to not call to much attention to it, but still, everyone still heard it. Raven proceeded, acting unbothered as she continued to lock eyes with her Professor.

"And Hermione," The name fell from her lips almost as easy as breathing. "Asked about the curriculum this year, the amount of test we would be taking, any homework we would have, essays you would assign, and you answered with, Ms. Granger, I'm a teacher, not a dictionary. You will find out when the rest of the class does."

Raven said it with the best McGonagall impression she could muster. She heard Melanie snicker from beside her, causing a smile to tug up and onto her lips at the sound. Sophia leaned back into her seat, looking smug.

"Personally, I think the question she had was valid." Raven stated, "Considering you did ask if we had any questions and you did say you would answer them. And yes, you are a teacher, not a dictionary, but we are students who have questions that need answers. Isn't it your job to answer them? No offense."

The classroom went silent at Raven's words. No one breathe, no one moved. She could hear Sophia trying so desperately to hold back her laugh by placing a hand over her mouth. Melanie clutched her fingers and looked down, biting her tongue. While Raven, she looked at Professor McGonagall with a slight tug of her lips, it wasn't exactly prim and proper, but it wasn't smug either. But it was more as to prove a point rather than anything.

She had no idea where that came from— totally not from the burning gaze of the hurt expression that had belonged to the girl who was sketched into her book as if she lived in it for years— and it caught her completely by surprise. She wasn't around her cousins, as they were some of the only ones who saw this side of her. The teasing, blunt side as was Cedric.

And that was too many words, even for her. She just.. hated that she was put on the spot like that. She never was one for attention, considering the amount of eyes that were usually on her because of her last name.

The black haired professor cleared her throat, as her eyebrow twitched in annoyance. And yet, Raven could see a different look in her eyes as a smirk tugged up and onto her lips. She almost looked.. proud. But that shouldn't be the case, would it? She had barely spoken to her during last Christmas break, and even after, not a word said to each other besides in class.

So, why would she look proud?

"Now, if you'll excuse me students," She talked to the class, keeping her eyes on Raven. "I need to go and talk to a certain foul smelling man. In the mean time, turn to pages 12 in your books, and after you're done reading, talk about it amongst yourselves. I expect every single one of you to be prepared to be called on once I return."

She turned to leave, walking out of the class and out of the door. Right as everyone was going to begin to talk, she stuck her head back in. "And no, I will not call on Ms. Granger, Mr. Sterling, Mr. Malfoy, or Ms. Rosier. I'll be back in 10 minutes."

And she was gone, shutting the door behind her.

Also, instantly after she left, Sophia smacked her shoulder hard. The sound echoed into the room, causing people to look over at them, but Raven just kept her gaze on her laughing best friend. The red haired girl began to hit the desk, laughing hard.

"Ow!" Raven exclaimed, posture still perfect as always. Her voice never going any louder than necessary. "Why must you hit me so hard?"

"Did you see her face?" Sophia laughed.

"Priceless." Melanie joined her, as their laughter echoed throughout the room. Melanie shook her head with a smile, "Who knew you had it in you?"

"What?" Raven questioned, bewildered glancing between the two of them. "I wanted to know too! Especially so I could be prepared when you guys come begging me to help you with an essay she assigned a month ago!"

"I asked you to pull one all nighter." Sophia groaned out. "Sue me."

"Not just you," Raven corrected. "Veronica did too, and so did Melanie!"

"Hey!" Melanie exclaimed, "I thought you said you didn't care."

"I'm a Hufflepuff, Mels." Raven gave her a look. "We have a hard time saying no."

"And yet, you sassed out a teacher." Sophia remarked, a smirk on her face.

"I didn't sass out Professor McGonagall!"

"Mhmm," Sophia hummed. "Keep telling yourself that."

"Melanie, tell her!" Raven turned to her friend, posture still perfect. It almost hurt how straight it was. She should feel calm in this moment, but fear creeped up onto her back at the reminder of what she had just did and the punishment she knew would soon follow.

"Ehhh," Melanie hesitated. "You kind of did."

Raven looked hurt for a moment, and that caused Melanie to panic.

"But— But, it was worth it!" Melanie hurrily said, trying to soothe Raven's worry.

"I mean, she is a teacher." Sophia inputed. "She should be answering our questions. Plus, the look on her face was hilarious. She looked like she wanted to strangle you."

Melanie and Sophia began to laugh once more in the classroom. The rest of the students were already talking amongst themselves about what had just occurred, each glancing at the confused look on Hermione Granger's face. Harry Potter had sat beside her on her left, while Ron Weasley was on her right. Neither said a word as Hermione continued looking straight ahead at Raven, burning her gaze into her as if that would give her all the answers in the world.

"Hermione." Ron said, trying to get her attention.

But she just ignored him.

"Mione." Harry called out as well, before he forcefully got into her line of vision, snapping her out of it. "We were calling for you."

"Yeah." Ron agreed, chuckling. "But you were too lost in the clouds to notice. For once."

"Sorry." Hermione said, sheepishly. "You seen that too right?"

"No, Hermione." Harry sassed. "I'm deaf."

"Oh really, I thought you were blind?." Hermione contoured before sighing, turning back to look at Raven, a confused look in her eyes. "Why would she defend me? It doesn't make sense."

"Who knows?" Ron shrugged before a scowl appeared onto his face. "Maybe she's trying to convince everyone that she's good then ya know, kill them when they least expect it. Like father like daughter."

"But what if she isn't?" Hermione whispered.

"But what if she is?" Ron pushed.

"Can you just listen to me, Ronald?" Hermione huffed, turning to him with a glare. "You didn't see the look on her face! She had tears after what I said. Tell him, Harry!"

"It's true." Harry said, quiet.

"I didn't think she could cry." Ron mumbled.

"She's human, Ron." Hermione glared. "Not just some fairytale."

"I know that." Ron said.

Raven watched from a distance as the Golden Trio whispered to each other, locking eyes with Hermione Granger more than once during their conversation. And yet, she hadn't moved to look away. Neither had Hermione. She could see the outline of her eyes, the gentle brown that laid bare of the bark that entrapped the color of the trees.

She wanted to sketch it again.

But she wouldn't dare to do so right now, especially with Sophia and Melanie still talking beside her. And with that thought, she grabbed the sketchbook and placed it back inside of her robs, hiding it from view. She moved to open her text book and began to read it.

"Are you actually doing the assignment?" Sophia questioned, a chuckle leaving her throat.

'Make sure you get top marks. We wouldn't want anything less than perfect now, would we, girls?"

She couldn't fail.

Not when Aunt Eleanor would punish her if she got even one mark less than a perfect 100.

"One of us has too." Raven said, choosing to ignore the slight ache in her chest.

"Pottah," Malfoy spat, a mocking chuckle leaving his throat as he leaned over Harry's desk, since he was right behind him on the top with the other Slytherin bunch. "Aren't you going to read? Or are you going to let your little Mudblood do it for you?"

Hermione shrunk in on herself.

And for a moment, it felt as if Raven were watching a different person. This wasn't the same Hermione Granger whom had stood up to her uncle. Who she had captured, burned into her sketchbook with her unworthy hands. The same girl who smirked, and insulted her uncle on his bullshit was now biting her lip to stop herself from crying.

And that did not sit right with Raven.

"Hey, Malfoy!" Raven called out before she could stop herself. "Are you going to get any marks higher than 80 perfect? Or are you going to bribe your way to the top again this year?"

Silence range through the room at her words. Melanie grabbed her arm, "Raven—"

"Isn't that a little pathetic?" Raven ignored her as she continued to insult Malfoy. Her childhood friend. "I mean— a muggleborn is getting higher marks than you, Draco. And your supposed to be the pureblood?"

"Shut your mouth, Rotten Rosier!"

"Or what?" Raven scoffed, glaring at the boy. "Your going to tell your father on me?"

"At least I have one." Malfoy smirked, and she felt his words sink into her. The way it twisted around her heart with the curse of her parents kills on her skin. She stiffened, and for a moment,— too quick for those who did not know him to catch— his eyes flashed with guilt at his words before Crabbe began to laugh beside him.

"Try and be more original, Malfoy." Raven glared, narrowing her eyes only slightly. It felt as if she were rooted to the chair, burned into it. "We both know I could care less about those.. monsters."

Except, that was a lie and he knew it too.

Considering him, and all the other Purebloods knew of the weight that she had to hold on her shoulders since she was the only Rosier alive, left to the wolves for the sin of her parents. But all she ever wanted was them. A mother, a father. A true family.

Was that so much to ask for? Probably.

She knew she didn't deserve it at least.

"Careful, Dray—"

"Don't call me Dray!" Malfoy snapped at Goyle, and Raven felt a tug of something in her heart at the fact that he hadn't let anyone call him the familiar nickname besides those who originally gave it to him. Her, Blaise, Toph, maybe even Theodore on a good day.

But definitely not Crabbe and Goyle, considering they only ever followed Malfoy around like dogs waiting for a slaughter to occur by the strength in his words. That was one thing Raven respected about Draco, he always had a way with words where he knew what to say to make it hurt.

"Draco," Goyle corrected before nodding in Raven's direction with a smirk. "Careful. Rotten Rosier might hex you."

"Like father like daughter, am I right?" Crabbe hummed, earning a rise out of Goyle.

"Isn't your dad in Azkaban?" Sophia interjected, smug as she glared at Crabbe. Melanie coughed, trying to suppress a laugh that threatened to escape her lips. The boy turned back to her, snarling.

"No one was talking to you, Badger." Malfoy said protectively, his voice was sharp. Raven met his eyes with a glare, feeling her own protectiveness arise. She did not care if they came for her, hit her where it hurt, she could take it. But if they came for her friends, she won't stand back and watch.

"At least she's not a snake." Raven bit back, her tone had an edge to it as her eyes sent shivers down Draco's spine with how dark they looked despite the fact that they were a sapphire blue.

But he would not be forced to back down, especially not from Raven Rosier.

"Just like you, Rotten Rosier." Malfoy continued, a devilish smirk tugged up and onto his lips as his eyes twinkled— reminding Raven too much of how her Uncle Nicholas would look at her right before he whipped her— as if he enjoyed her pain more than anything. "Need I remind you how Uncle Nicholas reacted to the news."

If Raven wasn't as stiff as board, she was now. She could remember clear how her Aunt taught her to straighten up. The ruler hadn't help, but nails did. She had gotten an actual board, nails sticking out of it, placing it behind any chair she sat on, and if Raven even attempted to lean back, it would sting.

She shouldn't be surprised that Draco had overheard his father and her Uncle's conversation. They weren't exactly quiet when they were discussing Raven's punishment. If anything, Uncle Nicholas was proud of it. She could feel the twist of the whip, slamming into her back as if she were a prized possession and not a child. As if her back truly was a board destined to be broken.

It already had cracks— filthy scars that kept her awake at night because they still ache— and cuts, and it was truly broken. It was unworthy, and ugly, and something no one should ever see. She didn't want anyone to see it. To see the mistake of her sins on her back.

But Draco didn't seem to share the same sentiment as he publicly shared her Uncle's feelings towards her being a Hufflepuff with the class, which she tried to keep hidden as to not cause any of her friends some unwanted guilt. She just hoped they wouldn't share it with Cedric.

"Aww, looks like you hit a nerve, Dray." Blaise hooted, laughter escaping his throat so easily that Raven couldn't help but feel the sickening green churning in her stomach at the sound. Her friends had stayed quiet. Raven couldn't blame them. They shouldn't stick up for someone like her or else they'd have a target on their backs too.

"Rotten Rosier going to cry!" Goyle cheered, happily hitting Draco's shoulder as if he were a child begging for a new toy. Raven hadn't noticed it, how her vision began to fog over, tears clouding them. Nor had she noticed how she had bit her inner lip— tasting the familiar taste of iron on her tongue— but at least she wasn't clawing her palm to pieces again—

No. She was. Her hand was balled into a white fist under the table to stop its trembling. She could feel the way her nails dug into its familiar prey and attacked, reopening the scars that she had thought were finally, finally closed for good, but of course Raven could never be so lucky.

Her left hand, her scarred and ugly hand, had a slight ache to it anytime anyone mention the scars her Uncle caused. Though, it did hurt from time to time as if it had a mind of its own. As if it wanted Raven to feel pain, and she should. If not for herself, then to make up for the mistakes of her parents. Feel the burden of their sins on her skin, the pain, the burn, the constant ache.

"I'll give you something to cry about." Melanie glared, standing up to face Draco. Her eyes were dark and her balled up fist matched her own, white and ready to hit.

"It's fine, Mels." Raven reached out, dragging her back down to sit beside her once more. "Don't get yourself in trouble for me."

"You better listen to the Rotten bitch, Mudblood." Draco stated, smirking as he narrows his eyes at Melanie in disgust. Melanie flinched at the term, shutting her eyes for a moment and looking more like the innocent girl that befriend Raven a year ago.

Raven reacted before she could stop herself.

And the book hit Draco square in the face.

"Oops," Raven faked surprised. "It slipped."

The white haired boy tumbled back, falling onto the floor harshly as the class erupted into laughter. And one girls laugh in particular caught Raven's eye right away, the brown haired girl let her head fall back as she let loose and laughed. A loud, but soft laugh.

It was different than any other laugh she had ever heard before. With Cedric, his was rough, a snort before he let loose and cackled as if he had ulterior motives, but Raven had learned early on that the boy just had a laugh like that. He had true kind heart, with a laugh like a witch. With her friends/roommates, they all laughed differently.

Natasha laughed as if she had never experience what it meant to be silenced. Veronica laughed as if she never had the privilege of laughing amongst siblings, as if no one had ever complained about the sound or teased her on end. Sophia laughed as if she had been silenced, a calm, but burst of laughter that escaped her, reminding Raven that she was the middle child in her family and she wanted to be heard. And Melanie, she laughed a soft, quiet one. It wasn't too loud, but not too soft. But her laugh wasn't as if she was forced to be silent, but as if she hadn't had the privilege of laughing in a long time.

It almost look like it felt foreign to her as it did Raven.

But Hermione Granger she laughed in a way that.. that made Raven want to laugh with her. The sound was loud, truly cultivating that Raven could not find it in herself to look away. The way the tension in her body had faded, relaxing as she laughed, as if it were an old friend instead of a foe. The way her lips tugged up into a smile, showing her teeth as she laughed without warning, without restraint. Free.

Raven couldn't quiet hear the sound above the rest of the laughter, but she could hear the snip-bits. Could see the smile.

Her hand twitched, itching to sketch the blessed work of art this girl was. She wanted to capture her image, wanted to paint every single strain of her hair to perfection if she could. She wanted to burn this moment into her brain so that she would never forget it.

And without realizing, the tension in her own body had disappeared as if it were never there in the first place.

"Oh my god."

"Holy shit."

"What?" Raven furrowed her eyebrows, turning to her friends who looked at her as if had solved world hunger.

"You're— oh god, you look so adorable!" Melanie reached out, grabbing the side of Raven's cheeks squeezing them tightly. Raven flinched at her touch, expecting a slap or.. a possessive caress of her cheek.

"I do not." Raven mumbled, feeling a rise of red rush to her cheeks at the contact. She was tense once more, trying to fight the voice in her head that wanted her to shove Melanie away.

"You so do." Sophia interjected, grinning from ear to ear. "I can't want to tell Ronnie and Tasha!"

"Don't!" Raven gently, but shaking— as her hands had started to tremble once more since Melanie's touch reminded her a little too much of Aunt Eleanor's possessive and hurtful ones that caused bruises where kisses were meant to be— grabbed ahold of Melanie's hands and took them off of her face. "They'll never let me live it down. Plus, it's just a smile, what's the big deal?"

Sophia opened her mouth to speak, but was caught off by the voice of her childhood friend that used to comfort her during the dark nights of when whippings used to plague her memories every time she closed her eyes.

"Wait till my father hears about this—" Malfoy exclaimed, standing beside his desk with a dark mark on the side of his face. She hadn't meant to hit him so hard, but deep down, a churn of satisfaction went through her at the mark. The mark brought back the smile of her friend, and so, she'd do it again to make sure the innocent gleam in her eyes would never leave her like they did for Raven.

Raven will protect Melanie.

She'd be the hero in Melanie's story, while taking the blunts, the bruises, the cuts, the words, just as she was used to since no one wanted to be the hero in hers.

"Go ahead." Raven glared, not once breaking eye contact with Draco. "We both know what will happens if you tell him."

And Raven would take the punishment over seeing Melanie cry any day.

Draco remained silent for a moment, at a lost for words at the steel eyes that were starring into his soul. The sapphire eyes that used to bring him comfort, softening whenever they would talk, now looked at Draco as if he were scum on her shoe. A problem in her way.

And yet despite what everyone might think, Raven knew that Draco— Dray— never wanted another scar to be added to her collection. Never wanted another tear to fall from her cheek. Never wanted another happy memory to become fuzzy.

He just wanted to make his father proud.

But he didn't want Raven to suffer because of it. Not physically at least.

"Whatever." Draco huffed, turning back into his seat without looking at Raven again. Everyone was shocked at the way he dismissed the conversation so easily, as if Raven hadn't insulted him in front of everyone.

"What would happen?" Melanie asked, breaking the silence of the shocked classroom.

"A long.. discussion." Raven glanced at Melanie, giving her a forced smile before she continued with the work.

Feeling the burning gaze of the brown eyes that lived in her sketchbook on her balled up fist that was hidden under the table.

✦✦✦✦✦✦

"Ms. Rosier, hang back for a minute."

Raven stiffened, halting in her tracks as she was grabbing her stuff. She could practically feel Professor McGonagall towering over her from behind. She gulped, clenching her jaw before turning to the woman, a perfect smile fell upon her lips as she acknowledged her request.

"Yes, Ma'am." She nodded, trying not to seem as if she were scared. Not that she was— her heart beat said otherwise— considering that her Professor was her Godfathers friend, who has been nothing but kind to her. But still..

She knows what's going to happen once those doors close and her friends leave.

Raven inhaled, breathing as if it would be her last sense of peace for a moment. She began to prepare herself, washing away the filthy micro expressions she had on her face that would give her away for the coward that she was. She deserves this. She had called out Professor McGonagall for her own selfishness,— not because of the sad expression on the muggleborn witches face— of wanting to know about the course and the timeline that must follow.

Melanie and Sophia's talking had halted once they heard Professor McGonagall's words, sending Raven a concern glance that made her feel unworthy by their gaze. She didn't deserve their pity. Not with the screams her parents caused.

The sound of her footsteps carried away to the wind by her desk as students talked inside of the classroom as they gathered their things. Many of them had hurried off to the great hall, eager for lunch. But Raven wasn't one of them— especially now that she couldn't stand the sight of food— since her Professor needed to talk to her. To punish her.

She just hoped she would be merciful when she pulled out the ruler.

"You think your in trouble, Rae?" Melanie had whispered, concern laced in her tone. Raven fought the urge to shrug and instead, looked up at her with a perfect reassuring smile.

"I'm sure it's nothing, Mels." Raven said.

Melanie didn't seem convinced, sharing a glance with Sophia.

"Want us to wait for you?" Sophia asked, clutching her books in her arms. Raven shook her head, feeling the spikes of nails digging into her spine at the movement.

"No," She breathe, ignoring the way her heart spiked. "Go ahead. I'll catch up."

She wanted them to stay.

But she would never be selfish and ask that of them. Never. She didn't want them to witness her punishment, to see how much she deserved this. She didn't want to taint their eyes with her unworthy and ridged skin as the ruler smacked into it again, bruising it till it hurt to even twitch.

Aunt Eleanor was merciless in her assaults and she hoped Professor McGonagoll would make it quick.

Even if she doesn't deserve it.

"Are you sure?" Melanie questioned.

"Yeah."

And then they were gone, leaving just the two of them in the room. Raven felt the basement chains rooting her to the spot, locking her hands from moving even an inch out of place. She could feel the cold on her skin, the tightness on her wrist. The burning of the ruler.

Smack.

Smack.

Smack.

Smack.

Smack.

"Ms. Rosier?" A hand was placed on her shoulder. Raven flinched, hard. Too hard for Professor McGonagall to not not notice it. She pulled her hand away as if Raven had burned her, and Raven felt the way her stomach aches at the movement— she must hate her too,— before she turned to her, acting as if nothing had happened. As if she weren't affected by a mere touch.

Professor McGonagall looked at her with an expression that Raven had never seen before. It was soft, hesitant as she tried searching inside Raven's gaze. Raven gulped, clenching her jaw before she avoided her eyes, not liking the way they felt on her.

She felt too seen.

Too exposed.

And a Rosier should never be too exposed. They couldn't afford to be anything less than perfect.

They stayed there in the silence for a few moments as Professor McGonagall searched her face. Raven felt like a coward— a disgrace— for not being about to meet the woman's gaze head on. If Aunt Eleanor was here now, she would have cursed her.

"How did get that scar on her lip?" Professor McGonagall broke the silence.

"Do not raise your voice at me, child!"

Raven clutched her books tightly in her arms, biting her tongue to stop the flinch that would have escaped her. Instead, she clenched her jaw, ignoring the onset of bad memories flashing in her brain, reminding her of her carelessness towards her Uncle Nicholas,— she was 8 when it happened, but that's not relevant— earning her the first, but not the last smack across her face because she had wanted to go outside with Christopher and Draco.

"Christopher threw a rock at me when I was 8." Raven lied straight through her teeth, almost as easy as breathing. It had become second nature to her now, lying, which is kind of funny considering her house is known for honesty. "And I caught it with my teeth."

"Did you now?" Professor McGonagall narrowed her eyes, looking as if she didn't quite believe her.

"Is that what you wanted to talk about?" Raven deflected. "Because if so, I must excuse myself then, Professor. I am quite hungry."

She couldn't risk accidentally spill Uncle Nicholas's secrets. She couldn't risk it, not one bit. They were pureblood traditions, and she wouldn't understand that Uncle Nicholas was helping her wash away the weight of her sins with the scarring of his whips.

"No, dear." Professor McGonagall cleared her throat before she proceeded to walk down towards her desk. "Follow me, I'll be quick."

Raven clenched her jaw for a moment before she followed after her Professor. Her heart beat quicken with each step she took, feeling the overwhelming feeling of her Uncle's hands caressing her back possessively before he dug his fingers into her wounds, enjoying the way she screamed out. It was a familiar cold feeling that washed over her, a familiar pain, ache.

Usually, it was in her left hand. A constant ache because of the hideous scar that was left. It pulsed, greedily as if it wanted to always remind her of its presence. But this was different.

She could feel her Uncle behind her, watching her incase she slips up and makes a mistake. He was waiting, and waiting, and waiting. Raven soon realized that he wanted her to make a mistake. He wanted to punish and hurt her.

At least, the presence of him did.

And so, she watched, halting at the edge of her Professor's desk, as the woman opened the draw and began to look for something. Raven tensed up, instinctively pulling up her right sleeve before presenting it. She inhaled sharply, shutting her eyes for a moment as she waited for the sting of the ruler to smack harshly against her skin.

But instead of the sharp pain against her wrist, she was met with the roughness of paper in her palm. She paused, opening her eyes and met the gaze of the curious women who had placed something in her hands. She glanced down at it before she parted her lips, embarrassment overcoming her.

There, clear as day, was the drawing she drew on her assignment of Hermione Granger.

"Professor, I— I can explain—" She stuttered.

"No need. We will discuss the details of you drawing in my class later, but for now," Professor McGonagall explained, softness in her tone as if she were speaking to a toddler. "I would like to know something. Tell me, Ms. Rosier, how did you draw this?"

"With my quill?" Raven said, not following the conversation. Professor McGonagall's eyes widened.

"Your quill?" She questioned, baffled.

"Yes, ma'am." Raven explained, her ears red with embarrassment. "Sometimes I used a.. m— muggle pencil."

"Wow, Ms. Rosier, I must say you are extremely talented then." Professor McGonagall said. Raven paused, not quite sure if she heard her right. She thought Raven was talented? "I had assumed that you used a charm, but to find out this was your original work, I am impressed."

Raven remained silent, not being able to find the words to help her here.

"The way you captured Ms. Granger is absolutely astonishing." Professor McGonagall grabbed the paper from her hand, examining it herself carefully. Raven felt.. too exposed. More exposed than if she were stuck by the ruler. She found herself wishing for that instead of this. "Even without the use of color, I could see the details of her face as if she were standing here in front of me. It looks as if you drew every strand of hair, down to the last one. You even captured her intense concentration as if she were standing in front of you, to the lip bite down to the way her nose scrunches up."

"It's nothing—"

"You are truly skilled in your work." Professor McGonagall continued. "And yet, you did not let your side project intervene with class today. For that, I have no words."

She handed the paper back to Raven. The red haired girl hesitated, before she snatched the paper out of her grasp. She wasn't trying to be mean— she felt as if no one should have the privilege of seeing Hermione Granger like this, no one, not even her— but it was hers.

"We have a highly sufficient art club here at Hogwarts. They compete with all of the other schools around the world." Professor McGonagall explained. "But I feel as if you would be better suited playing quidditch."

"I thought we were talking about art?" Raven questioned.

"Yes. We were." Professor McGonagall hummed. She looked at Raven with a raised eyebrow. "But with your skills and how much time you take to capture someone like Hermione Granger down to drawing each of her hairs, I feel as if you would use that work to help the Hufflepuff quidditch team this year."

"I don't think so." Raven stated. "Quidditch and art are two very different things."

"I don't think so. You see with Quidditch many would assume that it's just a regular sport, with no brains behind the brawn's, but if they think like that, then they've already lost the game. Quidditch takes the entire team. The Chasers have to pass the Quaffle to each other until the Beaters create an opening for them to be able to strike and make a goal passed them keeper. Even then, no matter how many goals are made, the seekers need to be able to carefully grab the Golden Snitch to score them the win. Each one of those positions takes time, and effort to prefect their skins. The Chasers must be able to control the ball amongst themselves and their fellow chaser, needing to be able to talk to each other with just one glance. The Beaters need to be able to push passed their pain thresh hold and fight back against their opponents without causing any fouls. They need to be able to put their anger on hold and play, even if it hurts and it will hurt. The Seekers need to be able to make those sharp turns to keep up with the Snitch, holding onto their brooms so tight that it feels like your hands are going to fall off."

"And art is just like that?" Raven asked.

"Exactly like that." Professor McGonagall countered. "Artist like yourself have the talent to be able to draw everything down to every single strain of hair on someone's head. Or the curiosity behind their eyes. Each person on the Quidditch team needs to be perfect for them all to work, unless it will go down hill from there. Just like art. Every stroke needs to be precise, every move needs to be confident."

"So, you think I should be on the team?" Raven questioned.

"Yes." She said. "But that's just my recommendation. It's your decision at the end of the day."

"I'll take it into consideration." Raven nodded, feeling another weight added to her shoulder, but this time, there was also relief. At least she hadn't been punished. "May I go now?"

"You may."

Raven turned, leaving the classroom as she had her books clutched in one arm, while the other hand held the drawing as if it were something delicate. And perhaps it was? Raven thought so at least. She didn't dare wrinkle the paper. Not wanting to accidentally ruin the drawing that she had captured of the girl.

She still couldn't believe that the Professor had recommended Quidditch. It wasn't that it was a bizarre idea, but..

She would only take the team down. Her reputation— her name— will cause teams to turn them down out of fear that she'd attack them. Or jinx them, or curse them.

She couldn't be selfish and try out. Plus, there wasn't even a chance she'd make it on the team considering the fact that nearly every Hufflepuff hates her— well not anymore, but she still could help but feel as if they did— or feared her. It took nearly all of last year for them to see passed her last name, and to know Raven. Not Rosier. Just Raven. And even then, it was hard.

"Hey, Ray—Ray!"

Raven jumped as soon as she exited the classroom, flinching so hard you would think she had been slapped across the face. She turned to her friend, glaring as the boy began to laugh, a rough, loud cackle that made Raven want to smile at the sound. "Ah! Cedric, you scared me!"

"You should have seen your face!" Cedric laughed, wiping away the fake tear that fell. "Priceless. Oh, I wish I had a camera."

"Ha, ha. Very funny." Raven mocked before she raised her eyebrow at him confused. "What are you even doing out here? Why aren't you in the hall?"

"I was waiting for you, silly."

Raven's heart warmed. "Really?"

"No."

Raven smacked him with her book, and Cedric laughed once more, a teasing grin on his face as he tried to stop her attack. "You arse!"

"Did you just curse?" Cedric gasped.

"I did not!" Raven huffed as she proceeded to continue walking away from Cedric and towards the great hall, even if the images of food made her want to run the opposite way. Appearances, Raven. She reminded herself. The world is all about Appearances. Plus she shouldn't worry her friends with her distain for food. "You have hearing problems."

"Nope, I heard that potty mouth of yours." Cedric teased leaning in on her other side as Raven walked, matching her fast pace with ease.

"It's not my fault you annoyed me today." Raven remarked, rolling her eyes at the boy.

"Me?" He scoffed. "What did I do?"

"You know what you did."

"Fine," Cedric mumbled. "I apologize."

"What was that?" Raven smirked, leaning closer to Cedric acting as if he hadn't heard what he said. Cedric rolled his eyes, but followed along with her act.

"I'm sorry." He repeated, louder. A smile gracing upon his lips at Raven and his banter. "There, happy?"

"Peachy." Raven huffed before turning to him. "But seriously, why did you wait for me?"

"We always walk together to the Great Hall, remember?" Cedric said. Raven furrowed her eyebrows, trying to pick apart her brain and find the memory of the two of them walking together. She could almost picture it, but it was just out of reach, blurred and replaced by the new memory of the cold chains against her skin as she hung in the basement waiting for the cracking stings to end.

"Yeah." She lied, a forced smile. "I remember."

She hadn't.

Not really, but he didn't need to know that.

"So," He began. "What did Professor McGonagall want to talk about?"

"Quidditch." Raven answered, not finding it in herself to lie to her friend again. She had always hated doing it, especially to Cedric. "She thinks I should try out. But she's crazy, right?"

"We can try out together!" Cedric exclaimed.

"Huh?" Raven furrows her eyebrows. "What? No! I don't want to try out."

"Aww, man." He looked like a deflated puppy, but he did not push with her answer. Something Raven was grateful for. "I was hoping someone would join me at try outs. I could ask Stanley to join me, but he's too busy with his studies."

"Your seriously trying out?" Raven questioned.

"Uhh, yeah." Cedric said. "I'm a forth year now, so I'll have a better shot at joining than before."

"Want me to go with you?"

"You'd do that?"

"Okay, rude." Raven rolled her eyes. "Nice to know what you think of me."

"It's not that!" Cedric exclaimed. "You just don't like going outside is all."

"Says the guy who's afraid of Chocolate frogs." Raven teased, a growing smile on her face. But it wasn't prim, nor proper. It was relaxed, settling on her lips with unfamiliarity as if it had never known what home was.

"They jump at you!" Cedric huffed, his cheeks burning in embarrassment. "It's a valid fear!"

"Mhmm." Raven hummed. "Keep telling yourself that."

"You are sassy today." Cedric pointed out before he poked her cheek. Raven did not flinch, already expecting Cedric to do something like that. "I love it."

"And you," Raven struck her leg out, causing Cedric to trip and fall flat on his face. She smiled, a tiny giggle leaving her lips at the fall. "Are on your ass."

Cedric glared at Raven while she giggled at what she had done, a smile gracing her lips.

"Raven, I'm going to kill you!" Cedric stumbled as he began to ran after her, and Raven shrieked, earning another laugh that escaped her as she ran away from the boy, clutching onto the paper on her hand tightly, wrinkling it in her grasp.

And so, the two of them ran. Raven laughed, feeling a sense of ease creep into her despite Cedric's fast feet running towards her. She couldn't help but feel so safe in this moment, happy, and cares for. She felt like a child running in a field as their brother chased after them, a smile on his face as well. It was different. It was as if the chains that held her captive disappeared in that moment, relinquishing their hold on her so that she could experience a second— a moment— of peace within herself as she ran away.

And yet, she always had that reminder that always followed her home, to bed, into her soul of the consequences of not being perfect. Of breathing too hard, of a blush on her cheeks, of the sweat dripping down her face, but thankfully, none of that would happen as it takes a while till Raven could sweat. The running that Aunt Eleanor put her and Katherine through was proof of that.

Unfortunately, Raven wasn't thinking as she turned the corner, and went straight through the doors of the Great Hall. She stiffened as soon as all eyes fell onto her, before she felt the familiar hands of her friend wrap around her. Just as she was about to push him away and act as if nothing had happened, she lost her footing under the weight of his body and fell, taking Cedric down with her.

The boy laughed, "I got you!"

And yet, despite all the eyes on them, despite how she could barely handle his touch, despite it all—

"I let you get me!" Raven shoved him away, but the boy wouldn't move, looking down at her smugly. Raven narrows her eyes into a glare. "Get off."

"No." Cedric smirked. "Not until you say your sorry."

"I warned you."

"What—"

Raven knees him in the ball.

Cedric groaned, collapsing beside Raven as he gripped his groin in pain.

"Oh, right in the ball!" She heard a boy gasped as if she had hurt him instead of Cedric. Raven quickly got up, wiping away the dirt on her uniform that Cedric caused from their fall.

"I need a hospital." Cedric cried out. Raven rolled her eyes.

"Oh, stop being a baby, Ced."

"You look more like a baby than me." He groaned out, before he inhaled sharply. "I need a minute."

In that instant, an owl flew over them and entered the great hall. Raven's eyes followed it till it landed on the Gryffindor table, right in front of Hermione Granger and her friends. Ron Weasley reached out, grabbing the owl with no regard to the care of the poor creature who had stumbled and crashed into the soup that was laid about.

If it was her, she would have taken it to her room and showered the poor thing so that it wouldn't reek of soup and at least, be clean. It would be the least she could do considering that it had traveled far, and long.

And soon, Ronald opened the howler he had received from his family.

"RONALD WEASLEY!"

Raven felt a twinkle of pity fill her at the feared look in the red head's eyes at his mothers booming voice. Everyone's eyes fell to the boy, watching and waiting to see what his mother would say next.

"HOW DARE YOU STEAL THAT CAR! I AM ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED! THANKFULLY, YOUR FATHER IS NOT FACING AN INQUIRY AT WORK BECAUSE OF THE MINISTER! Bless his heart," Mrs. Wesley shouted with such rage before she changed her tone to admirtation as she spoke of her uncle. "He showed your father mercy at the hands of your mistake! You best be writing a letter to thank him for his kindness! Now, where was I? Oh right, IF YOU PUT ANOTHER TOE OUT OF LINE, AND REFUSE TO MAKE THE MINISTER A LETTER, WE'LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT HOME! Oh, and Ginny, dear, congratulations on making Gryffindor. Your father and I are so proud."

Raven winced at all those words. And yet, she also couldn't help but hate the admiration in Mrs. Weasley's voice. It was during times like these where she was reminded of the cruel nature behind her uncle's true act amongst the wizarding world. She glanced over at Christopher, who was sitting down at the Slytherin's table with a balled fist.

At least she wasn't alone. He looked as if he thought the same thing, neither would ever be free of him. Forced to be under his mercy. Raven glanced at Katherine, the way the girls smile had faded into a thin line as she met Raven's gaze. Raven clenched her jaw, Katherine, the golden girl, would forever be saved from the scars on Raven's skin. She would never experience the way the whip burned against their skin, or how deep it drew its lines, digging into her bag as if she were nothing.

The Great Hall erupted into laughter by the time Raven had left, the scent of food had finally filled her nose as she rushed towards the nearest trash can to let out her stomach from this morning.