Orbiting

Remus emerged from Pomfrey's office, his footsteps heavy against the polished floors of the clinic as he made his exit. The soft rustling of leaves from the courtyard's oak trees whispered in the breeze, though it went unnoticed through the fog of his discontent. He clutched the small orange bottle containing his meager supply of painkillers, the pills rattling as he walked.

The medication that had been a lifeline this morning, now represented the slow erosion of his ability to cope with the constant, gnawing pain that had become his unwelcome companion.

Remus's mind wandered to the conversation he'd just had with the doctor. Her words replayed in a loop, each syllable a sharp reminder of his predicament. "We need to start tapering off, Remus. Your body can't sustain this level of medication indefinitely. Swimming seems to be going well and we need to start focusing our efforts there. Of course, you can still use paracetamol when needed." Pomfrey's voice, usually so soothing, had taken on a clinical edge that grated against his frayed nerves. "We," she had said as if the pain coursing through his leg was a shared experience, a collective burden they both carried.

The air was crisp and laden with the scent of fallen leaves. Students milled about, their laughter and chatter a harsh counterpoint to the leaden silence that enveloped Remus. He observed their carefree movements with resentment, their bodies whole—unbroken and unburdened.

He walked to his tree and settled on the ground, tossing his bag to the side. The roots seemed to cradle him in a protective embrace as he closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, trying to center himself—the ambient sounds of campus life faded into nothingness.

Remus immediately considered calling Grant to try to find some comfort. Yet, as he traced his scars over his trousers, a realization dawned on him. Grant, with his optimistic approach to life, would undoubtedly side with Pomfrey. Remus could almost hear him now, his words tinged with that particular blend of concern and encouragement. "She's right, you know. That’s good news, it means you are getting better." he would say, his voice carrying the weight of someone who had witnessed his injury firsthand. The thought of Grant's well-intentioned support only served to deepen Remus's sense of isolation. His thoughts turned to James and Sirius. For a moment, Remus considered reaching out to them. But as quickly as the impulse arose, it withered and died, leaving behind a bitter aftertaste of self-doubt.

With a soft groan, Remus pushed himself up from the ground, his muscles protesting the movement. The tree's roots, which had provided a small refuge, now seemed reluctant to release their hold. He leaned against the trunk for a moment, gathering his resolve.

He began his trek towards his Astronomy lecture, each step a careful negotiation between will and pain. The stop at the tree meant that he would be late, but being there for half the class was better than nothing.

Remus pushed open the heavy door, wincing at the loud creak of the hinge that announced his tardy arrival, though no one seemed to notice. Professor Sinistra's voice, filled the space as she gestured to the display on the projector. He scanned the rows of seats, his gaze sweeping over the sea of unfamiliar faces. He was about to resign himself to finding a lone spot at the back when a movement caught his attention.

On the end of a row in the middle of the class, Evan’s slender form rose slightly, his hand waving in a discreet yet unmistakable gesture. Beside him, Barty’s perfectly messy hair gleamed under the soft glow of the overhead lights, while Reggie's dark silhouette completed the trio. They had saved him a seat, a small act of kindness that lifted his spirits marginally.

He nodded a silent thanks to Evan as he sat, unable to muster the energy for more.

Barty leaned in, his voice a low whisper. "Oversleep?”

“No, just a shit morning,” Remus said with a bit of an edge.

Reggie passed a notebook towards him, its pages filled with neat, concise notes from the portion of the lecture Remus had missed. He accepted it with a small thanks, before quickly scanning it and handing it back.

The lecture continued with soft scratching of pens on paper and the occasional rustle of turning pages, providing a soothing backdrop to the professor's voice. Remus watched as Barty's hand moved across his notebook, his elegant script filling the margins with additional observations and questions. Evan sat with his chin propped on his hand, his gaze fixed on the projector screen, while Reggie's eyes darted between the professor and his notes, capturing every detail with meticulous precision.

As class came to a close, Remus remained seated, his movements deliberately slow as he gathered his belongings.

Barty, who had been stealing glances at Remus throughout the lecture, turned to face him fully. His angular features were uncharacteristically soft.

“Remus,” he began as the room started to empty, “you look like you could use some food. What do you say lads, fancy getting a bite?”

“Um, yeah actually.” Remus replied feeling his stomach growl. “I didn’t have breakfast today.”

“Sorry, I have to get to the library. Have a huge essay due tomorrow.” Regulus said with a regretful look on his face. “See you later, Remus?”

“Course.”

“Unfortunately, I can’t today either. Got another group project for a different class. S’pose to meet up with them.” Evan chimed in.

Barty gave a mock affronted expression, “Excuse me?! You are cheating on us with randos?”

“You know me,” Evan winked, “never been one for commitment.”

Barty turned his attention back to Remus. “Looks like it’s you and me.”

Once they got to the dining hall they found a quiet corner, away from the teeming crowds, where the afternoon sunlight filtered through stained glass windows, casting a rainbow of colors across their table. The two sat in silence as they ate for a few minutes before Barty spoke.

“I know that I’m kind of a prat sometimes and I’m more candid than most. So, I’m just going to ask, do you want to talk about whatever is bothering you? I’ve noticed you haven’t been using your cane lately.”

Remus paused, his fork suspended midway to his mouth. The directness of Barty's question caught him off guard, piercing through the carefully constructed walls he had built around his pain. He lowered his utensil, the metal clinking softly against the ceramic plate.

For a moment, Remus considered deflecting, falling back on the well-worn excuses and reassurances he had perfected over the months. But something in Barty's earnest gaze, devoid of the usual sarcasm, gave him pause. The weight of his morning's appointment with Pomfrey, the constant ache in his leg, and the looming specter of reduced medication all pressed down on him, threatening to overwhelm. He was tired physically and emotionally.

"I..." he began, then faltered, unsure how to articulate the storm of emotions roiling within him.

Remus took a deep breath, his eyes fixed on the colorful patterns scattered across the table. "It's... complicated," he finally said. "I had an appointment with Dr. Pomfrey this morning. She wants to start tapering off my pain medication."

Barty nodded, his expression thoughtful. "That must be difficult to hear," he said, his tone gentle.

"It's not just difficult, it's..." he paused, searching for the right words. "It feels like I'm losing ground. Like all the progress I've made is going to slip away without it."

Barty remained silent, allowing Remus the space to continue. The dining hall's ambient noise seemed to fade into the background, creating a bubble of privacy.

Remus sighed, his fingers absently tracing the rim of his water glass. "I've been pushing myself, you know? Trying to do more, be more normal. The swimming has helped, but..." He trailed off, struggling to articulate the fear that gripped him.

Barty leaned forward. "But you're afraid it won't be enough without the medication?"

Remus felt a lump forming in his throat. "Exactly. And it's not just the physical pain. It's... it's a constant reminder. Every twinge, every ache - it's like my body betraying me over and over again. And the worst part is I feel like he’s winning."

Barty's brow furrowed, his eyes searching Remus's face. "He?"

Remus hesitated, realizing he had revealed more than he intended.

He took a shaky breath, steeling himself. “My father. He’s the one that caused my leg injury.”

The revelation hung in the air between them. Barty's eyes widened slightly, but to his credit, he didn't recoil or offer empty platitudes.

“I’m very sorry, Remus. That is proper fucked.”

The bluntness of the statement made Remus laugh. It started as a chuckle and gradually overtook his whole body. The laughter subsided, leaving Remus feeling oddly lighter. He wiped at his eyes, surprised to find them damp.

Barty watched him, a wry smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "I'm not going to pretend I understand everything you're going through. But I do know what it's like to have a complicated relationship with a father."

Remus raised an eyebrow, curiosity piqued despite himself. Barty rarely spoke about his family, and when he did, it was usually with a dismissive wave of his hand.

“Mine, well…he believed in strict punishment, you could say,” Barty admitted, “But I learned something from it all - we don't have to let them win. Your father, my father... they don't get to define us. Reg, Evan, and I grew up together. None of us had good home lives. We kind of became brothers in some fucked up way. It’s shit the way it happened, but honestly, I’d go through it all again for those two. Guess what I’m trying to say is, welcome to the family."

He looked at Barty, really looked at him, seeing past the sarcastic exterior to the empathy beneath. For a moment, he was at a loss for words, overwhelmed by the unexpected kinship.

"I—thank you," Remus finally managed, "that means more than you know."

A flicker of understanding passed between them. He leaned back in his chair, his usual air of nonchalance returning, though his eyes remained soft. "Well, don't go getting all sentimental on me now, Lupin. I've got a reputation to maintain."

Remus chuckled, grateful for the levity. "Wouldn't dream of it."

“So back to your original problem. You feel like you need the painkillers?” Barty asked, taking a drink of his water.

“Yeah, I really do.” Remus ran a hand over his face before adding, “at least for now.”

“I know a guy that lives in my dorm that sells. I could help you get acquainted if you like.” Barty offered.

"I'd appreciate that. Thanks."

“Anything for family, mate.” Barty gave him a quick wink. “I’ll talk to him and let you know.”

As they finished their meal, the dining hall started to empty, the clamor of students fading into a quiet hum. Remus found himself reluctant to leave, the connection with Barty providing a welcome respite from his earlier turmoil.

"I s’pose we should head out," Remus said, glancing at his watch. "I've got my writing and research workshop soon."

Barty started gathering his things. "Ah, the joys of academia. Never-ending, are they?"

They made their way out of the dining hall, buttoning their jackets in preparation for the cold.

"Right then," Barty said, clearing his throat. "Best be off. Wouldn't want you to be late for your workshop. God forbid you miss out on the thrilling world of proper citation formats."

Remus wasn’t sure if Barty’s ability to keep things light was a natural gift or something that he had to learn over time. Either way, he once again found himself grateful for it.

—

Regulus and Remus met at their usual time in the courtyard halfway between the Gryffindor and Slytherin dormitories. They set off in the direction of the swimming facilities.

"You look better," Regulus observed, “day improve?”

A small smile tugged at the corners of Remus’ mouth. "Yeah, Barty helped quite a lot. He’s got an unexpected side to him."

Regulus let out an amused sound. "Barty has a way of surprising people. He's got layers, that one."

After arriving, they entered the changing rooms, the fluorescent lights harsh against the white tiles. Remus moved to his usual corner, his movements deliberate as he changed into his swimming trunks.

"You know," Regulus began, his tone casual as he pulled on his swimwear, "there's no shame in using your cane if you need it. Especially on days when the pain is worse."

Remus paused, he hadn’t realized his internal struggle had been so obvious. He turned to face Regulus, studying his expression. There was no pity there, just genuine concern.

"I know," Remus sighed, running a hand through his curls. "It's just... I hate feeling dependent on it. Hate the thought of using it for the rest of my life."

There was understanding on Regulus’ face. "Progress isn't always linear. Some days are better than others. Using the cane when you need it doesn't negate all the work you've done."

Remus mulled over his words as they made their way to the pool. The chlorine scent grew stronger, mingling with the humid air as they approached the water's edge.

"You're right," Remus admitted, his voice barely audible above the ambient echoes of the natatorium. "It's just difficult to accept sometimes."

Reggie hummed in acknowledgment. "Acceptance often is. But, just in case it wasn’t obvious, you can lean on us." He tilted his head side to side before adding, “metaphorically, of course, think you might crush me if you actually leaned on me.”

Remus let out a bemused scoff, “Oh, I see how it is.”

They slipped into the water almost simultaneously, barely disturbing the surface. The coolness seeped into Remus’ skin. For a moment, he allowed himself to float, relishing the sensation of weightlessness.

As they began their laps, Remus found his rhythm, his strokes cutting through the water. The repetitive motion was meditative, allowing his mind to wander. He thought about Barty's unexpected kindness, Regulus's quiet support, and even Evan's small gesture of saving him a seat in class. These seemingly insignificant acts of friendship tethering him to a sense of normalcy.

After several laps, they paused at the shallow end. Remus leaned against the pool's edge, his arms folded on the tiled rim. Regulus mirrored his position, his dark hair plastered to his forehead.

“You good if I do a few more laps?” Reggie asked completely unfazed.

“Yeah, course,” Remus answered through labored breaths, “I’m just gonna float for a bit.”

Regulus pushed off from the wall, his lean form gliding through the water with practiced ease. Remus watched him for a moment before turning onto his back, allowing himself to drift. The ceiling of the natatorium stretched above him, its expanse broken only by the luminesce of fluorescent lights.

As he drifted, the water cradled him. He closed his eyes, focusing on the sensation of weightlessness, the muffled sounds of Regulus's strokes, and the occasional splash echoing through the cavernous space.

Once Regulus finished his laps, he swam over to where Remus was floating. The gentle ripples from his approach disturbed Remus's reverie, causing him to right himself in the water.

"Ready to head out?" Regulus asked, his voice carrying in the vast space.

They climbed out of the pool, water cascading off their bodies and creating small puddles on the tiled floor. Remus moved carefully, mindful of the slippery surface. As they walked towards the changing rooms, he found himself unconsciously favoring his good leg. Regulus slowed his pace to match Remus’, offering a steadying presence without drawing attention to it.

"I honestly don’t understand how you do that," Remus began, as they reached their lockers, "you swim for ages and you never look worn out."

Regulus paused, a towel draped around his shoulders, his eyes taking on a distant, almost dreamy quality. "The water…it's always been more than just a place to swim for me. It's like a sanctuary."

He ran a hand through his damp hair, droplets cascading down his arm. "When I was young, my family had a summer home by the sea. I'd spend hours in the water, diving beneath the waves, feeling the currents pull and push against my body. It was the first place I felt truly free."

Remus listened, captivated by the fondness in Reggie’s usually reserved voice.

"There's something magical about being suspended like that."

"I think I'm starting to understand that feeling," Remus said softly. "When I'm in the water, it's like... like the pain recedes. Like I'm whole again, even if just for a little while."

Regulus smiled, "That's exactly it. The water doesn't judge or expect anything from you. It just... is."

They dressed, the sounds of lockers opening and closing echoing through the changing room. After getting bundled up in their jackets, they exited the facility to head back to their respective rooms. Remus shivered at the evening air hitting his damp skin. They walked across the courtyard until they reached their dividing spot.

“Same time tomorrow?” Remus asked.

“Same time tomorrow.” Reggie confirm.