Orbiting

At the back of the Astronomy classroom, Remus’ eyes were half-focused on the constellation map projected on the wall, but the lecture at the front of the dim room felt distant as if it were happening on another plane entirely. Professor Sinistra’s voice hummed in and out of his awareness, barely reaching through the fog of his thoughts. The warmth of the room made him feel slightly suffocated, and the sound of pencils scribbling on paper as students took notes only served as background noise to flashbacks playing in his head.

Sirius.

It was almost impossible to ignore. He’d spent the last few days trying—focusing on his classes, keeping his head down—but every time he closed his eyes, all he could think about was Sirius’s smile, the way his voice brightened when they talked about music, the way his gaze had lingered just a bit too long.

Stop it.

He gripped the edge of his desk a little tighter, trying to ground himself in the present, to focus on the constellations he was supposed to be studying. But even with the map laid out in front of him, the stars didn’t feel as distant as they should. Everything felt too close, too real.

"Remus?"

A low voice broke through his thoughts, sharp and clear, like a pin through a balloon.

Remus blinked and turned, looking up to find Barty watching him with a bemused smile from the desk beside his. Barty leaned back slightly, one eyebrow arched in silent question.

"What?" Remus muttered, forcing himself to look at the projection instead of Barty’s probing gaze.

"Something on your mind?" he teased, but there was a glimmer of something more curious behind it. "You’ve been awfully quiet today. What’s up, Lupin?"

Remus’s stomach did an uncomfortable flip. "Nothing."

Barty didn’t look convinced. "Come on," he said, drawing the word out in mock exasperation. "You haven't replied to anything we’ve said for the last fifteen minutes."

"Really," Remus replied, his voice flat, "nothing’s wrong. Just tired, that’s all."

The sound of a disbelieving scoff came from the seat on his other side. Reggie clearly wasn’t buying it either. He cocked his head and gave Remus an exaggerated once-over. "You’ve got that whole mysterious brooding thing going like you’re in some kind of angsty novel." He gestured his hand about in a circular motion hovering over Remus’ face to prove his point.

Remus turned his head from side to side slowly, giving them both a flat look. "What, you want me to entertain you in Astronomy class now?

"Not particularly," Reggie said with a smirk, nudging Evan. "But that’s not what we’re asking. You look like someone who’s had their mind stolen. You know, not all there today." He tapped a finger against Remus’ forehead a bit more forceful than necessary.

Remus snorted, leaning back in his chair trying his best to not let on. "You’re reading too much into things, Reg. Relax."

Evan leaned over Reggie so Remus could hear him as he talked in a hushed tone, clearly not willing to give up. "Oh, we’re reading too much into this, yeah? Why are you still avoiding the question then?"

"Because there is nothing going on," Remus hissed. "I’m just—"

"Just what?" Barty cut in, crowding into Remus’ space, eyes narrowed but a grin on his lips. "Just thinking about your favorite constellation? Or maybeeee something—or someone—has caught your attention?"

The word someone hit Remus like a cold splash of water, and for a moment, he froze. Sirius’s face flashed into his mind, but he pushed the thought down quickly, keeping his tone light. "Of course, I’m thinking about stars, that’s what this lecture is about," he said, gesturing at the projection on the wall.

Evan snorted. "Nah, mate. You’ve been staring at that for the better part of an hour, and I can tell it’s not the constellations keeping your attention."

"Oh, please," Remus muttered, rolling his eyes and shifting in his seat. "I wasn’t aware that learning to interrogate someone was on the syllabus for this class."

"Well, you’re definitely acting like something’s bothering you," Reggie said, winking. "So what is it?”

Remus could feel his cheeks burn. "Nothing," he repeated the same excuse, forcing the words out with more conviction than he felt. "Just tired is all."

Barty watched him with an almost knowing look. "You’re full of shit, Lupin. But fine, we’ll drop it…for now.” He shook his head, a smile still plastered on his face.

Soon after class ended and students began filing out of the room, the buzz of conversation quickly filled the space. Remus stretched his arms above his head, trying to shake off the lingering thoughts that had made the lecture feel like a haze. He wasn’t in any hurry to leave, though, and let others pass by him as he packed his things.

Barty caught his eye as he made his way to the door. Remus followed, walking at an easy pace beside him.

“Oi, Barty,” Remus said, his voice low but casual. “Can I bum a cigarette?”

Without hesitation, Barty pulled a pack from his pocket, flicked it open, and handed one over. “Course.”

Remus took it with a smile, tucking it behind his ear. “Thanks.”

“You two should really quit smoking, stuff's horrible for your lungs.” Reggie admonished. The familiar words instantly brought Remus back to his conversation with Sirius.

“Don’t know what you're on ‘bout. Just put it here for the aesthetic.” Remus countered pointing where it was poking out from behind his ear.

Reggie gave him a small shove, “Like I believe that any more than I believe you were simply engrossed by the lecture today.”

“Haven’t the faintest what you’re on about, my dear Reggie,” Remus replied, widening his eyes and protruding his bottom lip slightly in an effort to look as innocent as possible.

“Ah, lay off him. He’ll come ‘round eventually.” Evan said patting Reg on the chest.

They all broke off in different directions after that, leaving Remus to stroll through the courtyard. It wasn’t crowded—just a few stragglers moving between buildings—but the quiet suited him just fine. No rush. He wandered toward the far corner of the yard, to the old tree that had been his favorite spot since he started uni. It wasn’t anything special, not really. Just a place to clear his head and be alone.

He stopped in front of the tree, pausing for a moment before leaning against it, the bark rough against his back.

Don’t be stupid, he thought. You’re not waiting for him.

It was a familiar feeling now, this tug, this undercurrent of hope that somehow, some way, Sirius might turn up again. But Remus shoved it aside, It retrieved the cigarette from behind his ear and reached into his bag for his lighter. With practiced ease, he lit it and inhaled deeply. He wasn’t waiting for anyone. This was just his spot. He came here for the silence, for the quiet away from everything else.

It’s just the tree, he reminded himself.

But it was hard to ignore the gnawing feeling at the back of his mind. The way Sirius had laughed that day, the way their conversation had felt like something more than just words. Remus let out a breath, trying to focus on the present, to let the smoke swirl into the air and distract him from the thoughts circling in his head.

No sign of Sirius. No one else around. Just the tree, the sunshine, and the quiet of the courtyard. Remus took another drag, trying to settle his thoughts, but there it was again: the nagging question of whether he was just imagining things. Was Sirius flirting with him? Why would he?

The rest of his classes for the day went much like the first. He couldn’t focus or fully form any answers when he was called on by his professors. Originally, he had planned to go to the library to get some studying done, but it was clear that wasn’t going to happen. So, as Remus walked out of his Critical Pedagogy class, he decided to go back to the dorm room and lie down. At least there, he could drift off into his own thoughts without being pestered.

Once he reached his room, he slid off his shoes, swallowed a pill, and lay down in his bed. After about thirty minutes, the door creaked open, and Remus looked up to see Sirius standing there, his silhouette framed by the dim light from the hallway.

“Told you that you should start locking your door,” Sirius said, his dark hair falling into his eyes, which had that familiar spark.

“Right, something about tossers walking in uninvited, if I recall correctly. Clearly, I should have taken the warning more seriously,” Remus said, trying to sound annoyed, but it came out much fonder than he intended.

Sirius stood there for a moment, hands in his pockets, leaning against the doorframe with a crooked smile. “I’m not interrupting anything, am I?”

Remus raised an eyebrow, propping himself up on his elbows. “No more than usual.”

Sirius gave a devilish grin, looking entirely too attractive. “Good. Wormy’s working out a new chess strategy and being a bit of a prat, so I thought I’d come bother you again.” He made his way over to the bed, looming over Remus, who was still half-lying down.

Remus sat up the rest of the way and swung his legs off the side of the bed, gesturing for Sirius to sit next to him. Remus thought this might be a clear sign that he was a glutton for punishment, but if Sirius was going to hold a permanent residence in his head, he might as well get some new material to add to the memories that replayed over and over in his mind.

“Should I put some music on first?” Sirius asked, his voice betraying a hint of excitement.

Was this a signal? Could Sirius actually be interested? No. No. He’s just a charming guy, Remus mentally reprimanded himself.

“Remus. Hello?” Sirius was waving a hand in front of his face to get his attention.

Clearing his throat, Remus replied, “Sure, sure. Whatever you like.”

“Whatever I’d like?” Sirius echoed, his eyes raking over Remus. He seemed to snap back to himself and added, “Be back in a tick.”

Remus watched intently as Sirius stepped over to the collection of albums on James’ desk, selecting one that Remus couldn’t see from where he was sitting. Sirius quickly made his way back to the bed, sitting as close to Remus as he could without touching.

The sound of You Really Got Me Now by The Kinks filled the room, and Remus’ face scrunched up, momentarily confused. “This isn’t the opening song on the album.”

“Right you are. Started it in the middle; the song just… called to me,” Sirius said with a wink.

A furious blush crept up Remus’ neck and overtook his face as he thought about the lyrics pulsing from the speaker. Sirius seemed satisfied with this reaction, giving a small laugh before flopping backward onto the bed, his legs still dangling off the side. Before he could second-guess himself, Remus reclined too, but quickly realized they had, impossibly, gotten a little closer in the process. The proximity didn’t feel uncomfortable. If anything, it felt natural. But when Sirius turned his head just slightly, their shoulders brushed. Remus’ breath caught, though he tried to disguise it as a casual shift in posture. He looked straight up at the ceiling, refusing to let his thoughts spiral. He hadn’t meant for any of this to feel so intimate. It wasn’t like he was trying to read too much into it. And yet, everything in him buzzed, as though it was a question he hadn’t figured out the answer to yet.

When the sound of crackling drifted through the air, signifying the end of the album, Sirius pushed himself up to switch it out. Remus stayed unmoving, already berating himself for how much he missed the body next to him. Before long, Sirius reclaimed his spot but left no space this time. The entire length of their bodies touched, even where their legs fell off the bed. It took three full songs before Remus realized that Sirius had selected A Night at the Opera as the next listen. He had been too focused on the way Sirius’ hair tickled his face as he gently swayed it side to side in time with the beat, and how he wanted to swallow the sound of the hum in Sirius’ throat.

Soaking in the moment, Remus closed his eyes and tuned in to the music. When Bohemian Rhapsody started playing he let out a noise of appreciation. Sirius turned to look at him and Remus mirrored his movement. Only centimeters separated their noses from touching.

“Like this song do you?” Sirius questioned in a whisper like he didn’t want to shatter how delicate this moment was.

“Love.” Remus replied voice hushed.

Sirius scanned his face. “You remember how you said that you used to listen to music with your mum when you were younger?”

Remus nodded, the tip of his nose grazing Sirius’.

“I used to listen with my brother,” he said, his tone slightly distant, like the words were heavier than he intended them to be.

“You have a brother?”

Sirius let out a low sigh, his fingers brushing Remus’ as he fidgeted. “Yeah. Regulus. When we were younger, we were inseparable. We'd sit for hours, just listening to music, talking about anything. He was... always the steady one, y’know? Composed. While I—well, I was always the outcast.”

Remus was silent, studying him. He could hear the hurt in Sirius’s voice and could see the way his shoulders seemed to tense for a brief moment before he pushed it down. “So, what happened?” Remus asked, almost instinctively

Sirius turned his head, eyes focusing on the ceiling. “When I left home at sixteen, things just... fell apart.” His voice was quieter now, more vulnerable. “I couldn’t stay in that house anymore. It was killing me. So, I left.” He looked back at Remus, his eyes holding a strange mixture of sadness and resignation. “He used to sneak out to see me, but each time it seemed like he hated me more. So, eventually, that stopped. Haven’t seen him for a long time.”

Remus felt a pang of sympathy, even though he didn’t know the whole story. He knew all too well how families could cause pain. “That sounds... hard,” he said gently, not sure how to put it into words.

Sirius let out a chuckle, but it didn’t carry the usual lightness it usually did. “We’re different people now. I don’t even think he gets why I left.”

They sat in silence for a few moments, the sound of the needle crackling at the end of the vinyl filling the space between them. Remus shifted uncomfortably, not knowing what to say. It felt like he was intruding on something deeply personal. But then, Sirius spoke again, his voice reminiscent.

“You know, Regulus was the one who got me into Queen,” he said, his voice lighter now, a small smile tugging at his lips. “He was obsessed with the band. We’d spend hours listening to their albums, talking about the lyrics like we were philosophers. He had this... way of making everything seem important.”

Remus smiled faintly, his gaze shifting to the vinyl player where the finished record was still spinning. “Sounds like you two had some good times.”

“We did,” Sirius said, his voice almost wistful. “We really did.”

Remus nodded, a soft understanding passing between them. He reached over and placed his hand on top of Sirius’, giving it a small squeeze.

Just then, the door swung open, and they both sat up abruptly. James glanced between the two of them, momentarily processing, before closing the door and walking fully into the room.

“Alright, lads?”

“Yeah–”

“Always–”

Remus and Sirius spoke at the same time.

“Right,” James said, stretching out the word like he had more to say but decided against it. “Well, I just ran all over the pitch for two hours and I’m bloody starving. Fancy some dinner? I just need to shower and change.”

“Yeah, that sounds great,” Sirius said, his voice bright.

“Why don’t you go back to your room and see if Pete wants to join?” James said, looking at Sirius.

Sirius gave a small eye roll but obliged the request. “I’ll be back in fifteen minutes. Chop-chop, Prongs,” he called as he exited the room.

Once James had cleaned up and Peter was retrieved, they walked to the dining hall together. The canteen was crowded, and it took them a few minutes to find a table that would accommodate their group, though it was a tight squeeze. James and Peter sat on one side of the small table, and Sirius and Remus sat on the other.

James and Peter were already talking animatedly about their most recent chess match, Peter grinning widely.

“I swear, I was so close this time,” James said, laughing as he grabbed a spoonful of mashed potatoes. “I thought I’d actually win for a second.”

Peter, practically glowing with pride, shook his head. “No, no—I had it all under control. I told you, lay off the Queen’s Gambit. You were too focused on the pawns, mate. You’re getting as predictable as you are in rock, paper, scissors.”

“You sure you weren’t just lucky?” James teased, giving Peter a friendly shove.

Peter rolled his eyes. “It’s called strategy, Prongs. You might want to try it sometime.”

Sirius, who had been listening to the banter with mild interest, glanced at Remus. There was a subtle smile on his face, a quiet amusement playing on his features.

“So,” Sirius said, his voice low but carrying just enough for Remus to hear, “you planning on sharing that millionaire shortbread?”

Remus shook his head. “Not a chance, it’s my favorite. Why didn’t you grab one if you wanted it? There was a whole sec–”

His words were cut off as he felt the subtle pressure of Sirius’ leg brushing against his right leg under the table. It was slight at first, almost an accident, but as the seconds ticked by, Sirius didn’t move away, as if making sure they stayed in each other’s orbit. Instead, he kept his leg pressed against Remus’s, the warmth radiating through their clothes.

Remus felt his breath catch, but he didn’t pull away. He wasn’t sure why it felt so... intimate. So simple, and yet so loaded.

“There was what?” Sirius asked, resting his chin in his hand and batting his eyes innocently.

Remus tried to think up a reply, but his mind kept wandering back to the subtle pressure under the table. He shifted slightly, his knee brushing against Sirius’s. Just the slightest movement, but it felt like it had sparked something. His pulse quickened, and he suddenly found it hard to look anywhere but the plate in front of him.

“You alright, Remus?” Sirius’s voice was low again but with a hint of teasing now. Remus could hear the smirk in his tone, similar to the first time they met.

Remus forced himself to look up, trying to sound casual. “Yeah, just... thinking.”

“About what?” Sirius pressed, his thigh staying firmly in place. He didn’t seem bothered in the least by the proximity, and Remus was starting to wonder if he was the only one feeling the weight of it.

“Nothing important,” Remus replied, but his voice was meek, far weaker than he intended. He took a bite of his food, feeling on edge.

Sirius didn’t push any further. Instead, he leaned back in his chair slightly, giving a playful nudge to Remus’s knee under the table. “If you say so,” he said, clearly pleased with himself, and Remus felt his cheeks warm.

James and Peter’s conversation had quieted for a moment, and James turned to look at Sirius and Remus.

“You two are awfully quiet tonight,” he observed with a raised eyebrow. “What’s going on? Remus, you look a little flushed, is the food bad?”

“No, no,” Remus replied quickly, looking up to meet James’s gaze. “Just... thinking about this big astronomy project I have coming up.” It wasn’t entirely a lie—he did have a project, but it was far from being the truth in the current situation.

“I’m sure you’ll do great, you’re probably the most dedicated student I’ve met.” James tried to reassure him.

“Right, just have to stay on top of coursework to maintain my scholarship is all. Probably stressing myself out over nothing,” Remus replied, waving him off.

James leaned over the table to give him a quick pat on the shoulder before returning to his plate of food. The conversation picked back up, and Remus relaxed, feeling much better after chomping into his shortbread. But before he finished it, he broke off a corner and set it discreetly on Sirius’s plate.