Prologue
Author
Once upon a time, in a kingdom not so far away, there were two brothers, Sirius and Regulus. They were the princes of the kingdom of Hogwarts, but beyond all that—beneath their titles and education—they were just two kids who wanted to have fun.
But fun wasn’t meant for them, nor were they allowed to have friends. Fortunately, they had each other, but would that be enough?
Regulus
Regulus (7 years old) / Sirius (9 years old)
Screams everywhere—that's what I hear. But how could I care about something so trivial when my brother is here with me?
He tries to drown out our parents' arguments, covering my ears, hugging me, laughing at me, telling me jokes, and sharing stories.
The best storyteller on the planet! He says I’m too young to say that for sure since I haven’t met enough storytellers yet. But deep down, I know I’m right.
I adore my brother, and I know our parents do too—they just have trouble showing it. They call him all sorts of names. Mom especially likes "bastard," though I don’t know what it means. She always blames Dad for that "mistake." But I don’t think Sirius was a mistake—how could a mistake be so perfect?
He’s my hero. How could he not be? Since I can remember, he’s always been there for me—when I fell off my bike, when I got hurt trying to climb a tree, even when I got scolded for it because Mom said that wasn’t behavior fit for a prince.
“Sirius,” I called, tugging at his sleeve. We were hiding under my bed, as we always did when our parents fought. It was our safe space, though Mom didn’t like Sirius being in my room. In fact, she didn’t like Sirius being around me at all.
“Yes, mon petit?” I loved when he called me that; it was something just for us.
“Can you tell me a story?”
“Of course. Which one do you want to hear?”
“Hmm.” I tried to think. “One you’ve never told me before.”
“You’re really making it easy for me, aren’t you, Regulus? Okay, a story I’ve never told you. Have you heard of Queen Cinderella?”
“No.”
“Perfect, then it’ll be that one. In a faraway kingdom…”
“Stop.”
“Why? I haven’t even started properly yet.”
“You didn’t start properly.”
“Properly?”
“You have to start with ‘Once upon a time.’ All the best stories start with ‘Once upon a time.’”
“Fine, little brat. Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, there was a girl who loved her father. He was always spoiling her, giving her gifts to make up for the loss of her mother.”
“Her mom died?”
“Yes, in this story, yes.”
“That’s horrible. I can’t imagine living without Mom.”
“Yeah, me neither,” Sirius replied, suddenly looking sad. “Maybe there’d be more silence. Can you imagine how strange that would be? Anyway, continuing on. She always thought it’d be her and her dad against the world, but one day, her dad met someone—a very wicked stepmother. She already had her own daughters, and her stepdad treated them as if they were his own, but Cinderella wasn’t so lucky with her stepmother.”
“Why are the stepmothers in your stories always the villains?” I asked. It was true—all his stories followed that pattern, even yesterday’s, which had been about Snow White.
“Because stepmothers are vile creatures who only want to take advantage of their husbands and leave his child in misery. If it didn’t come out of that disgusting creature, it’s not worthy of love,” he grumbled, raising his voice slightly, tears forming in the corners of his eyes.
“Not all of them are like that.”
“Of course they are, Regulus. Look at my example,” he said, curling up and hugging his knees.
“Your example?”
“Regulus,” he began, taking a deep breath before speaking again. “What do you think ‘bastard’ means?”
“I don’t know. Is it a cute nickname?”
“No, my innocent brother, it’s not,” he replied gently. “It’s what they call you when your very existence is a burden, when you shouldn’t exist, when your creation is a mistake. Regulus, I think it’s time you knew—we share the same father, but your mom isn’t mine.”
“What? Then who’s your mom?”
“My mom was a maid in this house, a sweet woman. She got involved with the wrong person—that was the only sin she ever committed in this life.”
“This life?”
“Yes, Regulus. My mom is no longer with us. She’s gone to live among the stars.”
“In your constellation?”
“Yes, in my constellation,” he said, trying to smile at me.
“How did she die?”
“From the anger of another person. But that’s a story for another day—when you’re older and can understand what I’ll tell you.”
“I’m old enough to hear all your stories.”
“Yes, you are. But that doesn’t mean you have to relive what I went through through my words. I was your age when I learned all this, your age when I began to understand I was the duckling in a family of swans. I was old enough to understand and listen, but that doesn’t mean I was ready to hear it.”
“But…”
“No, Regulus. As long as I can protect you, I will. And I say you’re not ready to hear this yet. Now, back to the story. Cinderella was practically enslaved by her stepmother…”
He never mentioned his mom or the fact that we were only half-brothers again. He never thought I was ready to hear it—never thought I didn’t need to be protected anymore. He avoided the topic, always dodging my questions, until I turned 15.
Regulos-8 years / Sirius-10 years
Silence was all I asked for. But in the Black house, it was the only thing we had no right to, the only thing we couldn't buy.
I feel my heart racing as I hear my mother's quick footsteps coming up the stairs. I keep thinking about everything I've done wrong and what I can do to make up for it. Was it that rose I stole from the garden to put in my room? Was it the book I put on the wrong shelf because I was in a hurry and forgot to put it in the right place? Did I wear the wrong clothes and she didn't want me to show them to the staff?
I had to look busy, otherwise, she would scold me for wasting precious time, so I ran to the table, hoping she would take pity on me and let me "study" in peace.
However, before she burst in, I heard her footsteps change direction and head towards my brother's room. I heard the door being opened and closed violently, and from then on, only screams and shouts. I ran under the blankets, covering my head with the pillow, but it couldn't muffle Sirius's screams enough, so I covered my ears with my hands.
I should have guessed that Sirius had done something wrong, after all, he had spent the day locked in his room, something that was very rare, since he preferred nature and freedom, far from home.
Before I realized time had passed, the door slammed again, indicating that my mother had already unleashed all her day's anger on her chosen one. She would probably go to my father, butter him up so he could govern the kingdom in an acceptable manner.
I got out of bed and went to my window, looking at the stars, as I always did when I wanted to talk to Sirius, but I knew it would be impossible. I looked for his star and began to talk to it. I didn't complain or ask for a better life, I just told her about my day, how I had studied, and finally finished the book I had started a week ago, The Maias.
-You should stop reading so much, it's bad for your brain and tires your eyes.- I heard my brother's voice whispering.
-Siri, where are you?
"Here, mon petit," he replied, passing a thin piece of paper through the crack in the wall that separated our rooms.
"How are you?" I asked, pressing my ear to the small crack.
-I could be better, but, looking on the bright side, I've been worse.
-Why did she punish you?
-I left a book out of place.
-A book, but you don't even read... Sirius, what did you do?
-What do you mean?
-I was the one who left the book out of place in the library. What the hell did you do?
-I just protected my brother.
I wish that had been our first and only conversation on that topic, but the truth is, my brother's back was all covered in scars, so that I would only have one, the only time he couldn't defend me.
I could only live with this idea because I thought that one day I would repay him, that I would be able to save him as he saved me, even though that never happened.
Regulus-12 years/Sirius-14 years
12 years was just another number to me, but a party always meant a party to my parents. They always had to show how much they could do, so my party was open to the entire kingdom.
December 24th was the special day, so the cold was one of the consequences. They were all indoors, warmed by the heat of the castle, thanks to the various fireplaces lit in every corner.
I received many handshakes and envelopes, various maidens came to me in an attempt for something more, and some of the younger princes as well. However, it was not the company of any of them that I wanted at that moment. I just wanted my brother's hug, even though he had been ignoring me all day.
I understood his anger, on his birthday, November 3rd, no one threw him a big party, or even remembered the fact. We spent the day in my room, eating a cake that I had baked for him myself. After all, what birthday doesn't have cake?
I searched for him all over the castle, but he was nowhere to be found. How annoying, that pest is always where you don't want him, and when you want to find him, he disappears from the face of the earth.
I decided to go to the stables, to ride a bit, to relieve some of the tension that had been building up for a long time. As soon as I got close, I heard more than just the whinnying of the horses; I heard two voices, very familiar ones even.
"This was the last straw, I'm leaving!" I realized it was my brother's voice. On tiptoe, I cautiously approached the crack in the enormous door that separated the interior from the bone-chilling cold of the outside.
"Don't do anything rash, Sirius." I looked, seeing Remus's blond hair, my future squire, carefully cleaning Sirius's bloody skin. What had happened to my brother?
-That cow, no, what an insult to cows, that despicable being thinks she is the center of the universe, she must be.Sirius, you have to behave at this party, it's Regulus's special day, you can't ruin it.- he tried to imitate my mother's voice, pinching his nose with his fingers. - As if I would do anything to annoy Reggie. As if I would do anything to upset Reggie. And then, the worst part, as I was leaving the room, where she so kindly reminded me of my duties, and the disgrace of the family that it was, I broke a vase, unintentionally. But do you think she saw it that way? Nooooo, of course not, because, apparently, everything that the demon from Sirius does is against the poor thing, and a confrontation. Damn empty-headed she is, that thing there is a draft, if you hit it, it echoes.
-Sirius.- complained Remus, but he seemed to be struggling not to laugh, while he was putting bandages over the wounds, where he had already applied ointment.
-That woman makes me so angry. And then she says that I don't want to ruin my brother's events, claiming that I like him a lot. But how does she know, if, supposedly and by her order, we shouldn't even be alone in the same room, because I am a terrible influence on her perfect son? I hate her, I hate her, I hate her! - he shouted, giving weak punches to Remus, who let him. When my brother started to weaken, the blonde simply hugged him, being reciprocated. That's when I heard the most painful sound of my life.
The cry of Sirius.
He began to cry with all his might, and it was even possible to see his body trembling. Remus stroked his hair, while repeating, like a lullaby. "It will all be fine."
"I don't understand why she hates me so much," he said, muffled against Lupin's shoulder.
-I don't either, but she is just one piece in the puzzle you are building in your head. If you let just one piece destroy the whole puzzle, then why bother putting it together in the first place? Sirius, you are not alone, even if it sometimes seems so, you have me and your brother. If I could take away your pain, I would, if I could take the blows for you, I would, but I can't, and you have no idea how painful it is to watch and be unable to do anything. But I will always be here to take care of you afterwards, okay? You're not alone.- he said, lifting Sirius's head, resting his hand on the other's cheek, stroking it with his thumb.
"Thank you, Remmie," he said, and I couldn't take it anymore. I left as quickly as I could, returning to the party and putting on my mask to cover my face.
Yes, a mask. My 14th birthday party was a costume party, everyone was in disguise, some more elaborate than others, but from the youngest to the oldest, there wasn't a soul who got away with it.
Mine was black, with silver details. It only covered the area around the eyes and the nose, because the prince cannot be unrecognizable, according to my parents. As soon as I entered the hall, I went straight to the tables, unable to stand for even one more second.
A minute later, Remus and Sirius entered through the large glass doors, separated, of course, since just as my mother thought Sirius was a bad influence on me, the same applied to Remus.
As soon as they saw me, they changed their course, coming towards me.
-Sirius, I thought you weren't coming!- I said, smiling and hugging my older brother.
-Do you think I would lose this day for anything, mon petit? Never. If there's one thing your mother will never be able to ruin, it's our relationship. I love you, brother.
-Sorry,- I replied, hiding my face in his shoulder.
-For what?
-For the punishment you will receive for coming to my party.- I felt Sirius pulling me away, lifting my chin to force me to look him in the eyes.
-I want you to understand one thing, nothing in the world compares to your happiness, no matter what it will do to me tonight, the important thing is that, this afternoon, I saw you smile simply because I was here.
-How could I not smile in your presence? he smiled gently at me.
- And it's for that smile that I endure this haunted house. - he concluded, kissing my forehead.- Now let's have some fun together, okay?
That was one of the best afternoons of my life, with Sirius and Remus being the best fun I could have. Of course, when night fell, the magic disappeared, and once again, I heard Sirius's screams, but they were different from when we were younger. He no longer begged her to stop, or asked what he had done wrong and what he could do to fix it. Now it was just screams of pain, from someone who had resigned to the life they were living.
Maybe that was the hint that our time together was coming to an end, that soon he would want to get rid of us. Maybe if I had been more attentive, I could have done something to prevent his escape, or at least, to ease his stay in the haunted house. But the maybes don't bring my brother back, no matter how much I wished they had saved him that fateful night.
Regulus-14 years/Sirius-16 years
I woke up to the sound of clothes being violently tossed into a suitcase. I opened my eyes, taking a little while to orient myself until I realized I was in Sirius's room. I was trying to remember why I had gone to sleep there, but I could only recall having a sudden urge to sleep with my brother, as if I couldn't do anything else if I didn't.
-Siri, what are you doing?- I asked, rubbing my eyes in an attempt to become more lucid.
I see his expression changing, previously determined and convinced to pack the suitcase, and now, looking at me with hesitation and fear.
-My dear, I need to leave. You understand that, right?
I could only agree, after all, who wouldn't want to leave that hellhole.
-Sirius, I know it's hard to live here, but please, stay.
-Regulos, I can't do that. You know that I would move mountains if you asked me, but this is the only thing I can't do for you. Please, come with me, let's run away together.
-I can't.
Several phrases were running through my mind as I said I couldn't. I can't, I won't be able to, I'll just hold you back and be a burden. I had been a burden to my brother my entire life, I wouldn't continue to be one now that he was so close to achieving his freedom. He needed to spread his wings, and I wouldn't be the scissors that would cut them.
I will never forget the look of betrayal and disappointment he gave me. He slammed the suitcase shut, not even looking at me for a second, and when I thought he would walk straight past me to leave, he grabbed my arm, kissing my forehead in farewell.
-I love you, mon petit.
-I love you too, Siri,-I said before he left, but he continued out the door, not even looking at me one last time.
I went to the balcony, looked at the stars, and cried all the tears that had been trapped inside me for years. I understood that my brother had to leave, but why now? Without warning, or anything. If I had known he had only a few days left, I would have made a plan to stop him, or perhaps I would have found enough courage to go with him. The tears came quickly like waterfalls and I couldn't stop them, no matter how hard I tried. My chest felt heavy, as if guilt were nesting on top of me and trying to strangle me.
What was happening to me? I had never felt like this, as if the air were escaping from my lungs and didn't want to come back in. Was I so terrible that even the air, the element that helps everyone, didn't want me? My hands, always steady, began to tremble as if I had just run a marathon and all my muscles were giving up. I felt the frantic rhythm of my heart, as if it wanted to escape from me.
I would do it too if I could. Really, I didn't deserve it, my heart was right. If I even had one at that moment.
I felt two arms enveloping me, and for a moment, I thought Sirius had changed his mind, but it was those almost white eyes that met mine when I lifted my head. However, despite Remus trying to comfort me, his eyes were also red and his sleeves damp, as if he had wiped his tears with them.
-It's all right, Regulus, you will never be alone, I promise you.
I clung to him as if he were my lifeline, perhaps he was, but at that moment, I felt that he was also his. It made sense, he and Sirius were very close, friends who seemed more like brothers, Remus had the right to feel lost and afraid of being alone.
But I wasn't going to let Sirius leave like that, I had to do something to stop him. I have always been one to make plans, always dodging the consequences and repercussions of my actions, but now, looking back, I realize that I only got away with it because, when I was almost caught, Sirius would confess, and as absurd as it might seem for him to be blamed, my mother would always think it made sense that the misfortune of the house had done it again.
And, this time was no different, and I saw my plan going down the drain as soon as I saw the royal guards chasing Sirius, moments before his escape boat exploded into a million pieces.
They said he had died, that it was impossible for anyone to have survived such a violent explosion, but no one knew my brother like I did, and if there was someone who could survive anything, it was him.
Regulos-16 years old
I spent 2 years looking for any justification or trick that Sirius might have used to survive, but nothing appeared in the various books of legends and myths about the sea. Remus and I eventually gave up, because the hope that he was still alive began to fade and was dragging us down with it, something we couldn't allow.
I was 16 years old, officially older than Sirius since he had run away on his birthday, and as I celebrated with Remus, I remembered how, next year, I would be 17, but Sirius would never be older than 16.
In an act of courage, I decided to run away, inviting Remus to come with me, who promptly accepted. We prepared everything, and that January night, we stood on the balcony of my room contemplating our decision. Anyone who saw us would think we were having yet another one of our nighttime conversations, but that time had passed, it was time to take action.
-Ready?- asked Remus, covering his hair with a hood.
-No, but it's now or never,- I said, pulling the bandana up to his nose, leaving only his eyes visible.-Let's do this.