Chapter 3
The night air was crisp and cool as Remus slipped out of the Gryffindor common room, his heart pounding in his chest. He had no plan, no speech prepared—just a raw, desperate need to do something before the feelings clawing at him consumed him entirely. Sirius had been unbearable lately. Not in the usual, cheeky, Sirius sort of way, but in the way that made Remus feel as though his heart might shatter every time their eyes met.
It wasn’t Sirius’s fault, of course. How could it be, when Sirius didn’t even know? Remus had been so careful to hide it—years of practice at tamping down feelings and forcing himself to act normal had made him a master of pretense. But tonight, the façade was cracking. He couldn’t take it anymore.
He found Sirius where he always did when he needed space to think: the Astronomy Tower. Sirius was leaning against the railing, his silhouette outlined by the moonlight. His hair was windswept, and he had that effortless, untouchable grace about him that made Remus’s chest ache.
"Sirius," Remus called softly, his voice barely carrying over the gentle breeze.
Sirius turned, his grey eyes bright even in the dim light. A smile tugged at his lips, the kind that made Remus’s stomach flip. "Moony! Fancy meeting you here."
"I… needed some air," Remus said, stepping closer. He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jumper, trying to keep them from trembling.
"Same," Sirius replied, turning back to the view of the Forbidden Forest. "James has been going on about Quidditch strategies all evening. I swear, if I hear the word 'Bludger' one more time, I’m going to hex him."
Remus chuckled faintly, but the sound felt hollow in his throat. He hesitated, lingering a few steps away from Sirius. The words he wanted to say were lodged firmly in his chest, tangled with fear and doubt.
"You alright, Moony?" Sirius asked, glancing over his shoulder. His brow furrowed, and he turned fully to face Remus. "You’ve been off lately. Don’t try to deny it, either—I know you."
Of course, Sirius knew him. That was part of the problem. Remus could never hide from Sirius, not really. But maybe that was why he was here now, why he felt like he might finally be able to say the thing that had been haunting him for months.
"Sirius," he said quietly, his voice trembling. "I need to tell you something."
Sirius straightened, the teasing light in his eyes replaced by something softer. "Alright," he said, his tone careful. "What’s going on?"
Remus took a deep breath, his fingers curling into fists in his pockets. "I… I’ve been feeling… different. About you."
"Different how?" Sirius asked, his head tilting slightly. There was no judgment in his voice, only curiosity.
Remus’s heart was racing now, his pulse pounding in his ears. He took a step closer, closing the space between them. The words were on the tip of his tongue, but they felt impossible to say. So instead, he did the only thing he could think of—the only thing that felt right in the moment.
He kissed him.
For a split second, time seemed to stop. Remus’s lips brushed against Sirius’s, soft and tentative, as if he were afraid the slightest movement might shatter the fragile moment. But then Sirius kissed him back.
It was nothing like Remus had expected—not that he’d let himself expect anything. Sirius’s hands came up to grip the front of Remus’s jumper, pulling him closer, and the kiss deepened. It was warm and messy and perfect in a way that made Remus’s head spin.
When they finally broke apart, they were both breathless, their foreheads pressed together. Sirius was staring at him, wide-eyed and incredulous, but there was no anger or rejection in his gaze.
"Bloody hell, Moony," Sirius whispered, a shaky laugh escaping him. "What took you so long?"
Remus blinked, his breath catching. "You… you’re not mad?"
"Mad?" Sirius repeated, grinning now. "Merlin, no. I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you I feel the same way for months."
Relief crashed over Remus like a tidal wave, and he laughed—a real, unrestrained laugh that made Sirius’s grin widen.
"I thought I’d ruined everything," Remus admitted, his voice still shaking. "I thought you’d hate me."
"Never," Sirius said firmly, his hands still gripping Remus’s jumper. "You’re my best friend, Moony. And… apparently a bit more than that now."
Remus felt a warmth spread through his chest, but it was quickly followed by a pang of worry. "What about James and Peter?" he asked. "They’ll notice if something changes. And if anyone else finds out…"
Sirius’s expression softened, and he let go of Remus’s jumper to cup his face instead. "Then we’ll deal with it," he said. "But we don’t have to tell anyone right away. This can just be… ours. For now."
"Just ours," Remus echoed, the words like a promise.
They stood there for a while, wrapped in the quiet stillness of the night. Sirius’s thumb brushed lightly over Remus’s cheek, and for the first time in weeks, Remus felt like he could breathe.
Eventually, Sirius broke the silence with a mischievous grin. "So… does this mean I can kiss you whenever I want now?"
Remus rolled his eyes, but his lips twitched into a smile. "Within reason, Black. I’m not snogging you in the middle of Potions."
"Shame," Sirius said with a mock sigh, but the teasing light in his eyes was undercut by the genuine affection in his voice.
They stayed on the Astronomy Tower until the chill in the air became too much to ignore. As they made their way back to the common room, their fingers brushed together briefly, and Sirius flashed him a smile that made Remus’s heart ache in the best way.
For now, they would keep their secret. It wouldn’t be easy—nothing about loving Sirius ever was—but as long as they had each other, Remus thought they might just be alright.