Wildflowers

Winter had changed everything. Everyone tried their best to stay inside as much as possible, which meant there were about twenty irritable and hungry girls trapped in very close quarters. Travis and Natalie went out regularly to look for Javi, who had gone missing sometime during doomcoming. No one said it out loud, but the general consensus was that he was dead. Though that didn’t stop Lottie from egging Travis on.

“I feel so bad for him,” Gen said, “It must be so hard to go out like that everyday.” Melissa can’t imagine how she’d feel if one of her own brothers went missing. If she’d known Travis better, she would’ve asked to help search for him. 

“Well, I don’t.” Mari responded, stirring the pot of soup with an ever increasing ratio of water to leather scraps. And then a little quieter,

“Just because Javi’s dead doesn’t mean the rest of us should starve too.” Melissa often got the urge to hit Mari when she said stupid things, but this topped all of the snarky comments she’d made before. 

“Fuck off Mari, this is a kid you’re talking about.” She gritted out. “You think you’re keeping us from starving by spending all day stirring that stupid pot? You’re just as useless as anyone else.”

Mari dropped the spoon and stood up, and Melissa stepped closer so they were face to face. 

“Okay stop it, this isn’t helping.” Gen said, putting herself between the two of them. Melissa opened her mouth to say something, but the cabin door swung open, and Natalie and Travis walked in. No deer, and definitely no Javi. 

When they weren’t busy bickering with Mari, Gen and Melissa took to playing card games in the corner with whoever was interested. Crystal had become a regular, chiming in their conversations with random tidbits about musicals that she really liked. 

“What do you think they’re talking about?” Melissa asked, putting down the awful hand she was dealt. She was definitely gonna do the shuffling next round. Gen turned around in her seat to look at the little group around the fireplace. 

“Gods of the dirt? Their dumb jock boyfriends?” She said snidely. She turned around and added, “Who gives a shit”, before getting pissy at Crystal for humming. Two months of being stuck in a rotting cabin will drive anyone crazy, but it seemed to really get to her. 

Shauna came back to the cabin when it started getting dark outside, with the remaining slivers of meat that were left. The first week after Jackie froze, no one said anything about Shauna staying out in the cold with the corpse. They chalked it up to grieving in such a strange situation. After the third week, when everyone realised she wasn’t gonna stop anytime soon, the stares and gossip started in full force. Shauna had gone back to sleeping on the main floor, with Van taking her place upstairs. She still laid out Jackie’s futon every night. 

Where Gen had become angry the longer they spent inside, Robin had started to become more emotional. She was very into all the wilderness stuff, and even cried about Shauna’s baby once. There weren’t many things to do to pass time outside of their chores and attending Lottie’s Wilderness sermons, so Melissa picked up a habit of quilting with whatever scraps of fabric she could find. 

Melissa was close to her grandmother growing up, and spent every Saturday at her house helping out with craft projects, so she was pretty handy with a needle and string. She’d even managed to get Mari to hold off on putting all the leather belts into the soup so she could turn one of them into a bracelet. Her best work yet was a small pouch made with the torn sleeve of one of her sweaters. It was barely bigger than her palm and slightly misshapen, but it was perfect for carrying her makeshift sewing kit in. She had even managed to go an entire week keeping it under her hat before someone noticed that her it was sitting an entire inch higher. 

Their seventh consecutive game of Go Fish one evening was interrupted by Taissa shouting at Shauna. Everyone that was inside the cabin made their way to see the spectacle. Shauna’s head was hanging, similar to how a dog’s does when it's caught doing something wrong. Taissa turned to the rest of them. 

“Shauna’s been braiding Jackie’s hair. She’s been doing her fucking makeup.” Melissa’s eyes had gone so wide she was pretty sure her eyebrows were off her forehead. Coach Ben was the only one to remark. Apparently Lottie had encouraged her to talk to Jackie’s body. Shauna was on the verge of tears, and everyone just silently watched her. 

“Shauna this has to stop. For your own good, and for the good of the baby.” Shauna stepped forward and finally spoke up at this. 

“Like you… or any of you know what’s good for the baby.” 

“Well it sure as hell isn’t this.” Taissa shot back, “We are getting rid of Jackie’s body. We are getting rid of Jackie’s two month old corpse.” She said, turning toward the steps of the cabin. Shauna tried to make the argument that there was no way to even bury her, but Tai immediately got everyone started on collecting firewood for a cremation. Melissa and Gen watched them carry out her body from the shed. Even from this distance, they could make out the almost clown-like makeup on her face. Mari couldn’t keep her mouth shut and Shauna jumped at her over something they couldn’t make out. 

“This is so fucked up.” Gen muttered, brushing snow off her stack of branches. Melissa watched Lottie take off Jackie’s necklace and put it on Shauna. 

“Yeah, but I don’t think I’d be any better than her if you died.” Gen made a face at that. 

“You would keep my body in a shed and do my makeup?” She considered it for a second.

“I don’t know. Maybe.”

“I think I’d rather die a second time than let you anywhere near my face.” Gen pretended to stab herself with a stick and Melissa gasped in mock offense, before breaking out into laughter. 

As if things weren’t depressing enough, Travis and Natalie had found Javi’s bloody clothes while they were out. Eventually things died down and everyone fell asleep. Melissa started dreaming of food, real food, smoked sausages on her dad’s ancient grill. The smell was so strong it felt like it was wafting over her. She woke up to shuffling and sat up. Melissa realized she hadn’t dreamt up the smell from the look on everybody’s face. They all stepped out to investigate and saw that the fire had died down, and Jackie’s body was charred. Her stomach let out a growl. Or maybe it was someone else’s, she couldn’t tell. The last thing she remembers is Shauna quietly saying, 

“She wants us to.” 

Everyone was quiet the next morning, silently folding away their bedding. What could they even say? Mari was the first to break the silence. 

“I guess… no one wants breakfast?” As dumb as that was, it finally got them talking again. They sat around the fireplace, and Melissa watched Shauna looking out the window at Natalie walking off with the remains. Her attention drifted to Lottie and Shauna’s conversation. Lottie seemed to know all the right things to say, and Melissa wished she had come up with them instead. 

It was decided that the team would be throwing Shauna a baby shower. Everyone was eager to have something to keep them busy, so they were all buzzing trying to come up with gift ideas. Akilah went off with Tai to make a crib, leaving the rest of the girls to split off into their own groups. Mari had the bright idea of making a crib ornament with a stake hanging off it. Gen said that they should just say they pitched in with Mari’s torture device, but Melissa had an idea. 

She gathered up all the scraps of fabric she’d collected for her quilting projects and got to work. The only baby Melissa had been around recently was some cousin she’d met last Thanksgiving. She remembers her grandmother nagging about him not having socks on so much that one of her uncles had just gone and bought a pair in the middle of dinner. Plus, socks had to be the easiest piece of clothing to make right? 

“What… is this?” Robin asked, picking up the first sock. 

“There’s a big hole on the side there, you might wanna stitch that up.” Britt commented as she walked by with a blanket. Gen snickered, and a frown appeared on Melissa’s face. 

“It’s supposed to be a sock.” She snatched the sock back and held it up in front of her face. Melissa thought she’d done a pretty good job. 

“They’re not that bad,” Gen said. Melissa genuinely seemed upset. 

“I’m sure Shauna will like them.” She gave her a sympathetic shoulder rub. When it was finally time for the baby shower, Melissa got up as casually as she could, and plopped down next to the chair Shauna was sitting in. She kept her head down to avoid meeting eyes with Gen, because she knew there would be an eyebrow raise and a smirk waiting for her. 

Everybody else jumped to show off the things they’d prepared, so Melissa figured she’d just go last. It definitely wasn’t because she was too busy watching Shauna’s face as she received everything to remember she had something of her own to give. After the birdpocalypse that followed Lottie’s blanket omen, Melissa never found the right time to give Shauna her gift. She figured the baby would need them eventually, so the socks stayed tucked in the corner of her futon along with her other projects.