Chapter 1
Chapter One: Ice, Ice, Baby
It was the first week of July in the gloomy town of Cokeworth. Severus had been up since five in the morning and now it was nearly six-thirty. He had a few things to do today. He needed to brew a few potions which would supply some local wizarding hospital. He technically didn’t need to do this as he still got a salary during the summer, but it was more to keep his mind sharp and active. All in all it was supposed to be a quiet and peaceful day full of brewing for Severus, something that was a rare luxury. But first he was going to finish his coffee and collect the paper, provided that idiotic paper boy delivered on time.
He sat his mug down on his kitchen counter and headed to the creaky front door. It was once again a dull day in the sleepy industrial town. Severus really didn’t care about trivial things like the weather of a town he detested. He was about to look to the side of the street for the blasted paper when he heard a small coo. He froze almost immediately and looked down to the small stoop.
And there in a large wicker basket was a baby of about five or six months bundled up in a large gingham fleece blanket, looking up at him with wide, innocent olive eyes and hands freely waving. Severus just stared down at it, his dark brown eyes narrowing in suspicion and confusion. He didn’t know what to do. He cautiously bent down to feel the baby’s skin, he didn’t think it would be that cold, the cheeks still had a rosy tint. But the baby was cold as ice.
Severus looked up and down the street for any sign of who could have been irresponsible enough to leave a baby on his doorstep. Not seeing a living soul, he grumbled and grabbed the handles of the basket and pushed his door open.
The baby was getting more fussy now, which was a problem. Severus had no way of soothing a baby nor any knowledge in that particular area. He let out a long suffering sigh and awkwardly picked up the baby, trying his best to find a comfortable way to hold it along with the blanket. When Severus picked him up, a thickly folded piece of parchment fell down to the floor. Severus carefully bent down to pick it up while the baby chewed on his shoulder, which made Severus scowl harder. He detested baby slobber.
He walked into his sitting room and settled himself into his armchair and got the baby settled into his lap before he unfolded the note. It was messy handwriting that had tear stains scattered throughout.
His eyes quickly scanned the letter, hoping to get some basic information. It read:
“To the person who I left my son to, I know I seem irresponsible and reckless. And I most definitely am, I was only 15 when he was born and I can't take care of him. His name is Killian Llwellyn MacQuillan. He was born on the 15th of January, 1991 at four in the morning. He was born at home with the help of a midwife and all official papers he will need are at the bottom of his basket. I can no longer care for him and know it would be cruel to try and care for him when I can’t afford myself. Please take care of him.”
Severus ran a hand over his face and softly groaned and looked down at the baby who was now fiddling with the buttons of Severus’ shirt. “Well, I suppose you aren’t an it anymore are you?” He said dryly as he pried the baby’s chubby fingers away. The baby responded with an indignant ‘ba’.
Severus then looked around his house, it was absolutely no environment for a baby. He was no fit guardian and he should definitely give Killian over to Social Services. But a small part of Severus just couldn’t find a good reason to give him up. But now came the hard part of finding furniture suitable for a baby. He didn’t even know if his parents saved any of his baby stuff let alone furniture.
But nevertheless, it didn’t hurt to look. So, awkwardly shifting the baby onto his hip, Severus started the climb up to the second floor where one of the bedrooms served as a storage room. Unfortunately it was filled with dust and a faint smell of mildew. Both Killian and Severus wrinkled their noses. Severus let out another long suffering sigh as he looked down at the baby.
“Well no point in dawdling, unless you want to sleep on the floor” Severus muttered sarcastically. The baby just grunted in response and chewed on his little fist, which made Severus roll his eyes.
He scanned the cluttered room before his eyes fell on a big brown box labeled ‘Severus–baby stuff’. He rolled his eyes a little and smiled at the familiar handwriting of his mother. With a flick of his wand the box scooted closer to them, which caused Killian to squeal with delight and wave his hands in delight. Severus raised an eyebrow at the child.
“Is that really so amusing?” He asked with a small, almost imperceptible smirk. The baby just let out a series of babbles. Severus rolled his eyes and settled them on the floor and used the tip of his wand to cut the aged tape off of the box. He carefully opened the box flaps and coughed at the cloud of dust that bloomed in his face. Killian let out a tiny sneeze. Severus looked at him for a second and then peered into the box. It looked to be mostly baby clothes, a few raggedy and broken toys, a cloth buckle sling and a plastic tub meant for baths. All covered in dust like most things in the room.
“Of course, because why would there be anything I need in this box?” Severus grumbled aloud. But, he did a small shrinking charm and put the mini box into his pocket and summoned a slightly bigger box.
This one raised Severus’ hopes a little. The top was mostly quilts and baby blankets and teething rings and a portable plastic changing mat patterned with dasies. Severus carefully removed all of it and smirked a little. At the bottom of the box was a black foldable pram, a small nappy bag and some rattles. Definitely more useful than the previous box. He carefully shrunk it down and moved onto the next box.
After nearly two hours Snape had managed to find only a few useful furniture items like a creaky wardrobe, a baby swing that no longer turned on, a playpen, and a small bassinet more designed for newborns. He moved it all to the first floor, there was an empty room next to his. But alas, no crib or changing table, which meant along with nappies, formula, some more clothes, wipes and everything else, he would need to purchase two large pieces of furniture. So he quickly changed into some more muggle looking clothes, a simple black button down and black jeans, and started getting ready to go to the shops.
But it didn’t help that Killian was choosing this moment to scream his head off.
Severus tried everything he could. Walking around and talking, albeit awkwardly, to him, rocking him, shushing him, and even trying to make funny faces. But nothing worked. He wouldn’t stop crying. But Severus assumed he was hungry as he thankfully hadn’t smelt anything yet.
Severus, after performing several cleaning charms, carefully strapped him and the baby into the buckle sling he found and grabbed his keys and wallet. He then walked to the bus stop. Killian was still screaming and his poor face was all scrunched up and red. And Severus felt an odd twinge of concern and embarrassment as he walked, people kept turning their hands. He awkwardly tried to bounce and shush the baby.
The bus ride to the street he needed was even more uncomfortable. People kept glaring at him, older women whispered to each other. But the street for Morrison’s came up and he quickly got off. Once inside he quickly grabbed a trolley, Killian was quieting down a little, although he was still hiccuping. Severus winced a little, he wasn’t trying to deny the baby food.
Severus quickly navigated to the baby aisle, and promptly scowled at all the brightly coloured items and cheery imagery. Killian, momentarily distracted, was enthralled by it all. The professor just sighed and navigated down the first row of shelves in search of a cheap pack of pacifiers. The cheapest Severus could find was a pack of three (blue, green and white) for five pounds. He scowled but placed them in the trolley and grabbed a few pacifier clips, slightly questioning the necessity. Killian reached for the atrociously coloured llama one. He grumbled about babies and their silly interests and grabbed it.
Next were the nappies. It was all overwhelming, he wasn’t even aware nappies had different sizes. Severus must have been staring for a good few minutes as a young looking woman, with two babies who were pinching and poking each other and screeching, cleared her throat, jolting Severus out of his thoughts.
“You alright there love?” She asked in a distinctive Liverpuddlian accent, which stood out in Cokeworth. Severus just froze for a moment, which he hated, he never froze.
“I don’t understand nappy sizes.” Severus muttered with a grimace. The woman just laughed and eyed Killian, who was currently looking around, pretending to be the perfect angel.
“Your first then?”
“Something like that” Severus grumbled, his hardset scowl deepening.
“How old?” She then asked as she scanned the shelves with a critical eye. Severus thought for a good minute.
“Five months I think” He finally said after a moment. She just laughed ominously.
“Good time, enjoy it, it don’t last for long,” She muttered as she then grabbed a box of nappies and handed it to him. “Now, you’ll want to buy size three for now, and I suggest you stockpile them”
Severus nodded mutely and put the box in the trolley basket and decided to grab another. The woman then walked down the aisle for a moment and returned with wipes and baby powder and rash cream and a small smile on her face.
“You’ll also need these” She said helpfully. Severus once again silently nodded and placed them in the basket. Killian then let out a low whimper, kicking his little feet as he started to cry again. The woman gave a small frown at Severus’ uselessness.
“Hand him here,” She demanded. Severus blinked.
“What?” Severus asked, clearly taken aback as he placed a hand on Killian’s head in an all too protective manner.
“You heard me, he’s hungry and I doubt you have a bottle or burp cloth” She teased lightly. Severus grumbled under his breath but unbuckled the sling and handled Killian over, although he did hover.
The woman, who finally introduced herself as Elenor, took him and dug around in a diaper bag and pulled out a bottle and burp cloth. Killian was stubbornly refusing at first but after a little cooing and gentle words the baby started to steadily drink. Severus felt horrible, the baby had been hungry for so long, he finished the whole bottle. Elenor just chuckled and went to burp Killian before handing the baby and the bottle back to Severus.
The man awkwardly strapped the now sleepy baby back in the sling and tried to give Elenor her bottle back.
“Keep it, I have loads back home and my boy just end up sharing one” She laughed as she walked away.
Severus went the other direction towards the bottles and formula, he definitely needed that. In that aisle Severus got two five packs of bottles, each ten pounds, a big tin of formula for six, a five pack of burp cloth for six pounds and a bottle brush for two pounds twenty two cents. Severus would have preferred to find things a little cheaper, but he couldn’t do much about that.
Severus was going to head to the tills when a small part of him decided to cave and get Killian some new, less disgusting toys. He didn’t exactly know what to get so he chose some brightly coloured stacking cups, a textured teething ring along with teething gel, a stuffed lamb and a bag of plastic balls.
Severus sighed, resigning himself to very little money and headed towards the tills. Luckily the queues weren’t too long and the person in Severus’ lane wasn’t overly annoying. The boy was fast and in just six minutes everything was bagged up. Severus nearly gasped at the 110 pound bill. He glared a little Killian and pulled out his card while muttering and grumbling under his breath. Why did babies have to be so damn expensive?
He quickly grabbed his bags and walked to the bus stop for the long ride back home. As soon as he returned home, he set everything on his kitchen counter and went upstairs to find the old, dusty diaper bag he found earlier and find a few extra onesies. After four rounds of Scourgify and Reparo, the bag almost looked brand new and the clothes looked slightly less old and worn.
Severus went back down and grabbed a few nappies from one of the boxes and put it in one of the bigger pockets along with the wipes. Next he placed a blanket, a few burp cloths, two bottles and a small plastic water bottle in the main part and he threw in a few other items like the pack of dummies and a toy. He felt a little more confident going out now.
He once again left again, this time to a local and cheap thrift shop, there was absolutely no way he was buying a brand new crib. Although he doubted second hand ones would be much cheaper.
The shop was only two or three blocks away. It was a small brick building like most of Cokeworth, meaning there was absolutely nothing noteworthy about it. It was called Rust And Riches. Inside it was small and cramped and smelled like mothballs and old lady. Severus simply sighed and made his way to where the baby stuff typically was.
Most of it was useless junk and toys, but Severus did find a good dark wood crib that came with a mattress. It was clean and in good shape. And it was 70 pounds. Babies were definitely too expensive. But he flagged down an employee and was relieved to learn they did in fact deliver. The employee then wrote his name and item on a sticky note and placed it on the crib. They then handed the coloured pad to Severus.
Severus continued to walk around, occasionally he’d glance at a few clothes and caved and placed a few in the basket he grabbed at the door. And then he found a nice wooden changing table. It was nearly 90 pounds but Severus just gave a deep sigh and placed a sticky note on it.
In the end, he spent about 115 pounds and his furniture wouldn’t even arrive until Thursday, a whole two days later. But on the bright side, Killian had a more expansive wardrobe, a tiny scarf and beanie, several pairs of booties and shoes and some books. It was going to be a long two days.
Severus finally went home for good that day. He was glad to be home, he needed a nap. And Killian was still asleep so Severus thought he could get away with it.
He carefully unbuckled the sling and transferred the baby into the small bassinet he had set up in the sitting room. He happily settled into his armchair, his eyes fluttering closed for some well deserved rest.
But then soft cries came from the bassinet. Severus groaned and pinched the bridge of his nose. Not a moment of peace today. But he pushed himself up despite the protests of his body. And then the smell hit him. The brat just pooped. Severus glared at him even if it was childish as he gathered everything he needed.
Severus picked Killian up, holding him far out as if the baby would contaminate him, and gently placed him on the floor. He glared at Killian, who was still crying and sleepily rubbing his eyes. The potions master carefully undid the sticky tape on the nappy and lifted his legs by the ankle. Killian didn’t like this and cried a little louder and tried to kick his feet.
“Stop that you brat” Severus grumbled half-heartedly as he pulled the nappy away and set it aside to fold later. And he nearly gagged when the smell hit him, he had smelled a lot in his long thirty-one years of life. But nothing could have prepared him for changing a nappy.
At Killian’s impatient cry Severus pushed it down and continued. He grabbed a few wipes and stared at the baby like he was trying to solve a complex puzzle. Finally, after gathering his courage, he wiped from top to bottom, grimacing the whole time. It took about three wipes to get him fully clean. And the brat had the gall to fall back asleep.
“What on earth did that woman feed you?” He grumbled as he folded up the dirty nappy and unfolded the clean one. The only answer was a tiny huff as Severus got up to throw the dirty nappy in the bin. He sat back down and lifted Killian’s legs again to slide the clean nappy under him and sprinkled a little bit of baby powder on the nappy before he fastened it. Severus Snape had survived his very first nappy change. He doubted it would be this easy all the time.
Severus allowed himself a small, satisfied smile as he readjusted Killian’s onesie and lifted him up and back into the bassinet to let the baby finish the nap.
Once he was settled with several cushioning and monitor charms, Severus found he couldn’t settle back down to nap like he had planned. So, he grabbed the bags on the counter and brought them up to what was slowly becoming the makeshift nursery to start organising and making it feel less chaotic.
The toys were easy enough, he put the stacking cups in a corner along with the balls. Teething ring, and a few of the older toys he found, which were mostly rattles and a small rocking horse. He set the lamb aside for when Killian was up. The clothes were the real challenge. He didn’t have a dresser and the old wardrobe he found had no drawers, which meant no place to put the nappies or clothes. He scowled harder as he folded the clothes and decided to just place everything in the bottom of the wardrobe.
Once he finished that task, he went down to the kitchen to unpack the bottles and everything else. That was incredibly easier than the nappies and clothes as he had an empty cupboard above the sink that he could put the bottles and formula tin in and the bottle brush would go on the window sill behind the sink faucet. And finally the teething gel would go in the bathroom medicine cupboard.
Once he had finished with all of that he allowed himself to sit down in his armchair and relax. It was only eight-twenty so he was hoping Killian would sleep at least till ten, when he would get another bottle. So he tucked in with a potions recipe he had been working on for the past month and a half.
Severus’ peace lasted until ten thirty when Killian started to softly cry and wave his hands. Severus sighed and picked him up, holding the tot very close, which seemed to help soothe him.
Severus walked into the kitchen to find the bottle he prepared ten minutes beforehand. And with a soft warming charm and a burp cloth slung over his shoulder, he started feeding little Killian, a soft smile snaking its way onto Severus’ face at Killian's soft grunts. He ended up eating only three and a half ounces before he started refusing. Severus shifted him onto his shoulder and started gently patting Killian’s back, feeling just a little silly. The spit up wasn’t nice but it wasn’t that much so Severus couldn’t exactly complain.
After that Killian seemed eager to play, so Severus brought down an old quilt and bouncer he had found earlier and thoroughly cleaned. He then laid some of Killian’s new toys down on the quilt and placed the baby on his stomach to play. Killian did a little army crawl to the cups, which caused a loud squeal when he discovered they came apart. Severus chuckled as he sat down, the boy was so easily amused. Severus didn’t mind.
That’s how the rest of their day went, the baby playing, alternating between the bouncer and the quilt and babbling at Severus. Killian was generally a happy baby and only really got fussy when hungry or needed changing.
Around seven, Severus started getting Killian ready for bed, making a mental note to run back out to the shops for baby soap. Once Killian was in his pajamas, Severus surrounded him with pillows and placed several cushioning charms on him and tucking a thin blanket around him, and once he was fully asleep Severus went to change into his nightclothes; worn plaid pajama pants and a faded Eagles tee shirt. He promptly collapsed into his bed and let out a long, tired sigh. He was utterly exhausted.
Severus knew this summer was going to be particularly draining, especially these next two days.
But deep down, he knew it would be worth it, damn brat had Severus wrapped around his finger already.