Winning is an endless void, you don’t know if there’s an end.
She’s dead, Scar. You won.
He won, but winning isn’t all that nice, winning isn’t winning.
It’s the start of a spiral that is never ending, that there is no end to, like falling into the void. Falling and not knowing if there’s a floor to land on.
Over and over.
Over a year ago he won.
Last he saw his friends, just about three months ago.
It was a good time, even in a death game, after so long of not seeing his friends it was nice, especially seeing Grian again.
He missed them.
The shadow people keep coming. Keep telling him the same thing.
∴ᒷ’ꖎꖎ ꖎᒷℸ ̣ ||𝙹⚍ ⍑𝙹ᒲᒷ. ⎓𝙹∷ ᔑ ↸ᒷᔑꖎ.
Deals don’t go well. Deals are a cover up, a scam, a way to find a loophole, nothing good ever comes from a deal.
He would know. He’s done the same thing before.
But oh, the aching to go home.
To see Cub, Grian, Cleo, everyone.
But no. Scar’s smarter than this, Grian has told him about how they’re manipulative. He’s not an idiot.
He can see through the facade.
He just needs to not agree.
He just… needs to ignore them.
Even if that means… not being able to see everyone.
…
“What’s the full deal?”
⎓╎リᔑꖎꖎ|| ᓵ𝙹リᓭ╎↸ᒷ∷╎リ⊣?
Scar stays silent, he doesn’t want to admit he’s caved, that he’s desperate. He’s simply… looking at the fine print.
∴ᒷ’∷ᒷ リ𝙹ℸ ̣ ᔑᓭꖌ╎リ⊣ ⎓𝙹∷ ᒲ⚍ᓵ⍑, ∴ᒷ ꖎᒷℸ ̣ ||𝙹⚍ ⍑𝙹ᒲᒷ, ╎リ ∷ᒷℸ ̣ ⚍∷リ, ||𝙹⚍ ⋮𝙹╎リ ⚍ᓭ.
“Is that all?” Scar asked, he knows Grian is a watcher, Grian says it’s the worst, they’re the worst.
So why would he do that? So why is he considering it?
||𝙹⚍ ⊣ᒷℸ ̣ ᒷ ̇/ℸ ̣ ∷ᔑ !¡𝙹∴ᒷ∷ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 ⊣𝙹 ∴╎ℸ ̣ ⍑ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᔑℸ ̣ ꖎ╎ℸ ̣ ℸ ̣ ꖎᒷ ⍊ᒷ ̇/ ᓭꖌ╎ꖎꖎᓭ 𝙹⎓ ||𝙹⚍∷ᓭ ᔑリ↸ ||𝙹⚍ ⊣ᒷℸ ̣ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 ⊣𝙹 ⍑𝙹ᒲᒷ!
“… you do whatever and I get to go home?” Scar is skeptical, there’s a catch. He knows it. He so desperately knows there is a catch.
𝙹⍑! ╎ ∴╎ᓭ⍑ ╎ℸ ̣ ∴ᔑᓭ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᔑℸ ̣ ᒷᔑᓭ||. ᒲ𝙹∷ᒷ ꖎ╎ꖌᒷ ||𝙹⚍ ꖎ╎⍊ᒷ ╎リ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ ⍊𝙹╎↸ ∴╎ℸ ̣ ⍑ ⚍ᓭ ⎓𝙹∷ ᔑ ꖎ╎ℸ ̣ ℸ ̣ ꖎᒷ ∴⍑╎ꖎᒷ ᔑリ↸ ||𝙹⚍ ʖᒷᓵ𝙹ᒲᒷ 𝙹リᒷ 𝙹⎓ ⚍ᓭ ᔑリ↸ ∴ᒷ ꖎᒷℸ ̣ ||𝙹⚍ ʖᔑᓵꖌ ⍑𝙹ᒲᒷ!
Scar’s guts are screaming at him, telling him it’s not worth it. Cub’s not worth it. Cleo’s not worth it. Grian’s not…nope. Grian’s not worth it. He has said himself no one is worth the pain of being one of them.
ᓭ𝙹, ╎ᓭ ╎ℸ ̣ ᔑ ↸ᒷᔑꖎ?
“No.”
He misses his friends, he does, but he’s smart. He knows he shouldn’t accept this deal. No matter how tempting it is, because he knows there will be a loophole. Something they’ll exploit and leave him helpless.
“Pearl you don’t understand!”
She sat on her bed while watching her brother pace around the room, worried, that’s all that’s been on his face for the past who knows how long. Worry.
“Grian, I know plenty! Don’t forget I was there from when they started messing with you! With us! All of us.” She argued, she didn’t understand why Grian thought he was the only one who could help, they all could. She knows it. He doesn’t have to carry this alone, yet he insists.
“That doesn't matter Pearl! I’m the only one that’s actually a full watcher! I’m the only one that can actually do something.”
“Look, I may not be a full watcher, no one is, no one wants to be, but Grian, listen to me, it doesn’t mean we can’t help.”
Grian stopped his pacing and flopped onto her bed next to her, “Pearl,” he turned over to look at her, “I can’t afford anyone else getting caught in the crossfire, it’s already my fault they got Scar! If you or anyone else helped that would put you all in danger.”
He was right, that would put them in danger, but they could handle it. “Not to mention it’s just us five that know.” Grian added. Right, just them. Grian, Scott, her, Martyn, and Joel. Cleo only remembers her game.
“Grian, three out of five of us have experience with them and the other two could easily help. You underestimate them.” She said, looking at her brother, plus they could always get Cleo on their side, if they know the games exist they’ll believe them. They’d help.
Grian let out a sigh and sat up, “I’m scared Pearl.” He admitted, Pearl frowned a bit, she patted a spot closer to her and Grian scooted over, she put a hand on his shoulder.
“I know you are, I am too, Scar is our friend.”
“Do you think anyone would believe us if we told them?” He asked more quietly.
“Everyone would, I still think you should tell Xisuma.” She responded.
“You know I can’t.” He said, curling up on himself, wings folding around him.
“You can’t or you won’t?”
Can’t or won’t.
Those words haunted Grian because he couldn’t tell the difference anymore.
Can’t or won’t save Scar? Can’t or won’t tell Xisuma? Can’t or won’t do something? Can’t or won’t rely on others? Can’t or won’t. Can’t or won’t. He’s not sure. He doesn’t know. He doesn’t know why they keep asking. He doesn’t understand why they’re willing to put their life in danger for Scar.
But he does understand. He does and doesn’t. Scar is… everything, Scar is perfect, Scar is the best person ever of course they would want him back. Everyone would. If everyone knew.
But not everyone knows. Only they do.
“You know we’ll be here.” Pearl said, noticing his quiet expression, “we don’t have all the time in the world, but sometimes you need to go slow.”
“I’m telling you there has to be something wrong!” Cub insisted, voice exasperated.
“Cub, I understand your worry but Scar seems normal, I really think you’re panicking for no reason.” Cleo replied, not glancing at the current panicking vex.
“Cleo, I’ve known Scar for years, I can tell something is wrong!” He adds.
Cleo finally stops working on their thingy and looks up at Cub, “I’ve known him around the same amount of time as you, but I haven’t noticed anything off.”
Cub had been uneasy ever since season 10 started, and it’s because of his fellow vex brother, you see Cub can tell Scar is off— he can not for the life of him figure out why but he can see it.
It’s not just knowing him for a long time that Cub is able to tell but also a vex thing, as the only two vexes on the server they share a bond that he was able to see that it wasn’t fully Scar— it felt as if… There was a part of Scar missing but nothing was off so he doesn’t understand if he’s going crazy or he just is the only one who can tell.
“If you think something is wrong you should go talk to Scar, of all people he’ll tell you if something is wrong.” Cleo says, snapping Cub out of his overwhelming mind.
Cub looks away, “I’ll see.” And he heads off. Problem with Cleo’s suggestion? He’s already asked Scar, and clueless Scar was confused and said he felt fine! And now it wasn’t common for Scar to lie, at least not about his well being, but Cub has known Scar for YEARS, and something felt off.
He felt… watched.
∴⍑𝙹 ᓵᔑ∷ᒷᓭ ᔑʖ𝙹⚍ℸ ̣ !¡ꖎ⚍ℸ ̣ 𝙹? ⍑ᒷ’ᓭ ⋮⚍ᓭℸ ̣ ᔑリ𝙹ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ∷ !¡ꖎᔑ||ᒷ∷.
̇/ᒷꖎᑑ⚍ᔑ ᓵᔑ∷ᒷᓭ. ᔑ ꖎ𝙹ℸ ̣. ↸𝙹 ||𝙹⚍ ⚍リ↸ᒷ∷ᓭℸ ̣ ᔑリ↸ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᔑℸ ̣ ∴ᒷ ᓵ𝙹⚍ꖎ↸ ᒲᔑꖌᒷ ̇/ᒷꖎᑑ⚍ᔑ ⎓𝙹∷ 𝙹リᓵᒷ ⎓𝙹ꖎꖎ𝙹∴ ∷⚍ꖎᒷᓭ ⋮⚍ᓭℸ ̣ ᓭ𝙹 ∴ᒷ ↸𝙹リ’ℸ ̣ ⍑⚍∷ℸ ̣ ⍑╎ᓭ ꖎ╎ℸ ̣ ℸ ̣ ꖎᒷ ⍊ᒷ ̇/ ℸ ̣ 𝙹||.
╎ᓭ ̇/ᒷꖎᑑ⚍ᔑ ∷ᒷᔑꖎꖎ|| ∴𝙹∷ℸ ̣ ⍑ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ ℸ ̣ ∷𝙹⚍ʖꖎᒷ 𝙹⎓ ℸ ̣ ⍑╎ᓭ ꖎ╎ℸ ̣ ℸ ̣ ꖎᒷ ⍊ᒷ ̇/ ∴╎リリᒷ∷?
╎ℸ ̣ ’ᓭ リ𝙹ℸ ̣ ⋮⚍ᓭℸ ̣ ̇/ᒷꖎᑑ⚍ᔑ, ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ∷ᒷ ᔑリ𝙹ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ∷ ⍊ᒷ ̇/, ∴⍑ᔑℸ ̣ ’ᓭ ⍑╎ᓭ リᔑᒲᒷ? ᓵ⚍ʖ? ⍑ᒷ ᓭ⚍ᓭ!¡ᒷᓵℸ ̣ ᓭ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ∷ᒷ ᓭ𝙹ᒲᒷℸ ̣ ⍑╎リ⊣ ∴∷𝙹リ⊣ ∴╎ℸ ̣ ⍑ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ ⍑ᔑꖎ⎓ ᓭ𝙹⚍ꖎ ||𝙹⚍ !¡⚍ℸ ̣ ╎リ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᔑℸ ̣ ᓭᒷ⍊ᒷ∷ !¡ꖎᔑᓵᒷ, ⍑ᔑ⍊╎リ⊣ ꖎ╎ᔑʖ╎ꖎ╎ℸ ̣ || 𝙹⍊ᒷ∷ ℸ ̣ ∴𝙹 𝙹⎓ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ ᒲ𝙹ᓭℸ ̣ ꖎ╎ꖌᒷꖎ|| ℸ ̣ 𝙹 𝙹⍊ᒷ∷ !¡𝙹∴ᒷ∷ ⚍ᓭ ╎ᓭ ∴⍑ᔑℸ ̣ ∴ᒷ リᒷᒷ↸.
∴⍑ᔑℸ ̣ ╎⎓ ℸ ̣ ⍑╎ᓭ ∴╎リリᒷ∷ ᓭᒷᒷᓭ ℸ ̣ ⍑∷𝙹⚍⊣⍑ ⚍ᓭ? ∴⍑ᔑℸ ̣ ╎⎓ ⍑ᒷ ∷ᒷℸ ̣ ᔑꖎ╎ᔑℸ ̣ ᒷᓭ?
||𝙹⚍. ∴𝙹リ’ℸ ̣ ꖎᒷℸ ̣ ⍑╎ᒲ. ᔑリ↸ ⍑ᒷ’ᓭ ↸ᒷᓭ!¡ᒷ∷ᔑℸ ̣ ᒷ ⍑ᒷ’ꖎꖎ ↸𝙹 ᔑリ||ℸ ̣ ⍑╎リ⊣ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 ᓭᒷᒷ ⍑╎ᓭ ꖎ╎ℸ ̣ ℸ ̣ ꖎᒷ ⎓∷╎ᒷリ↸ᓭ ᔑ⊣ᔑ╎リ. !¡ꖎᔑ|| ∴╎ℸ ̣ ⍑ ℸ ̣ ⍑𝙹ᓭᒷ ꖎ╎ℸ ̣ ℸ ̣ ꖎᒷ ⍑ᒷᔑ∷ℸ ̣ ᓭℸ ̣ ∷╎リ⊣ᓭ 𝙹⎓ ⍑╎ᓭ.
||𝙹⚍ ∷ᒷᔑꖎꖎ|| ℸ ̣ ⍑╎リꖌ ⍑ᒷ’ᓭ ⊣𝙹╎リ⊣ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 ᔑʖᔑリ↸𝙹リ ⍑╎ᓭ ⎓∷╎ᒷリ↸ᓭ?
⊣ᒷℸ ̣ ℸ ̣ ╎リ⊣ ⍑╎ᒲ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 ʖᒷꖎ╎ᒷ⍊ᒷ ̇/ᒷꖎᑑ⚍ᔑ ↸𝙹ᒷᓭリ’ℸ ̣ ᓵᔑ∷ᒷ ⎓𝙹∷ ⍑╎ᒲ ᓭ⍑𝙹⚍ꖎ↸ ʖᒷ ᒷᔑᓭ||, ||𝙹⚍ ⍑ᔑ⍊ᒷ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 ⊣ᔑᒲᒷᓭ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 ⚍ᓭᒷ, ╎ℸ ̣ ’ᓭ ℸ ̣ ⍑ᒷ ⍑ᒷ∷ᒲ╎ℸ ̣ ⍊ᒷ ̇/ ╎ ʖᒷꖎ╎ᒷ⍊ᒷ ∴╎ꖎꖎ ʖᒷ ᒲ𝙹∷ᒷ ↸╎⎓⎓╎ᓵ⚍ꖎℸ ̣ ℸ ̣ 𝙹 ᒲᔑꖌᒷ ⍑╎ᒲ ʖᒷℸ ̣ ∷ᔑ||.
↸𝙹リ’ℸ ̣ ᒲᒷᓭᓭ ℸ ̣ ⍑╎ᓭ ⚍!¡ 𝙹リᒷ.