love, remus

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-sent saturday, november 1st-

Dear Remus Jade Lupin,

Octavious is NOT my middle name. But good guess. I think I have a cousin named Octavious. I will have to ask Reg.

Oasis is most definitely for twinks. Have you seen Noel Gallagher? That is the gayest man I have ever laid eyes on. Is he your type? If so, I might have to try a little harder to woo you. I am also high; it helps with the hangover. Hopefully I won't write anything as embarrassing as you. You do realize that you write in pencil, so you could've just erased it? Silly Moony.

James still hasn't found out. I almost told Reg, but then Barty had to be annoying and walk in. Halloween was insane. We all got so drunk; I think Reg was on acid. Prongs tried to control himself, but he was so drunk, I almost felt bad.

Anyway, being drunk/high teenagers, we had to play a game. So, Marlene being Marlene suggested ‘Never have I ever’!! My favorite. Have you ever played Moony? I doubt it. Maybe you did at your party. How was that, by the way? Okay, back on topic, it was just my friend group playing and we were all up in me, Prongs, and Wormtail's dorm. It was tame at first, but then I asked if anyone had dated someone in the room, and Reg drank!! So obviously, I asked him about it, and it turns out that he and Barty dated for 8 months!

He said that dating was stretching it, and it was more like a ‘situationship’, whatever that means, but none of us knew! Except Evan, who seemed so jealous once it got brought up. But that's not even the worst part, apparently, Reg used to write poems for Barty and he keeps one of them in his phone case!! ALSO, Barty has Reg’s initials tattooed on the side of his middle finger. INSANE!!

I didn't hook up with anyone. I feel so stupid! There were so many chances, but my brain is still stuck on the guy I like. Sorry for not telling you. This might sound crazy, but most of the time I was talking to you in my head. Like you were there at the party with me.

You never called on Halloween. It got me worried, but Evans said that you called her. Was it something I said? Was it because of your dad? He sounded pretty intense on Thursday when we called. I am scared for you. I asked Evans but she just brushed it off. You aren't obligated to tell me anything, but I will listen no matter what is wrong.

It totally grazed over my mind that ‘Mysterious Skin’ could trigger you. I am so sorry!! But I guess you got something out of it. I am trying to be ‘half-glass-full’. It's almost my birthday, I need to be happier.

Effie and Montys gifts arrived, but James is being a bitch and wont let me open them!! There are 3 boxes and a bag.. I really wonder what they got me. Hopefully some more records.

I doubt I will be scared when I see you. Sorry for insinuating that I have more scars. I didn't know it was a sensitive subject. Maybe we can share stories from them one day. I have never been able to connect with someone like that before.

I bet you are beautiful, Moons. And if you aren't, which I ‘siriusly’ doubt, I will still be your friend.

In the least offensive way ever, I hate your dad. Don't tell him I said that, he seems like he could beat me up. No parents should react like that Remus! They are supposed to be there for you, no matter what, and them not being there for you when you need it most really reflects what type of parents they are. I just really hope you are okay right now.

My friends are hot Moony. This is why I think you will also be hot. I think everyone is beautiful in their own way. You have freckles and a big nose. That's your way. 

‘You can ride me’??!?!?!?!?!?!??! MOONY!! Warn a man first!

And no, we did not lose, my phone just got thrown into the mud and we had to soak it in rice. Sorry. It was amazing though. Gideon scored the winning goal, and I was the first person he hugged. We fought because he said something about me being gay. It wasn't outright homophobic, but it sounded bad. James agreed, but then I said some shit that shouldn't have been said. I know he isn't homophobic, but we both deserved what we got in return.

James cheered when I told him he won the money and everyone turned to him. He got kicked out of the library, but I gave him the pounds. I texted Barty and told him you liked his song, and he said ‘Thx BABE’. He is so weird.

The song is ‘Opened Once’ on Sketches for my Sweetheart the drunk. The whole album is amazing Moony.

Writing your name makes me worried. Please call soon. I miss you. I really do. 

I haven't hurt myself in a while. How about you? Are you getting better at all? You better be.

You have brown docs, I have black. Fitting. The nerd and the punk. We are like two pieces to a puzzle. Please talk backwards next time we call. I think I will die if I don’t hear that. 

I hope you enjoy the chocolate I sent. I didn't even know they made 86% dark chocolate. Might as well just sell the bean, at that point.

favorite movie soundtrack?  Mamma Mia. Don't tell the punk police or Evans.

Do you believe in ghosts?  yes. I am one

Last thing you ate?  special brownie courtesy of pete

last thing you wanked too?  TOO EMBARRASSING TO SAY

What's the most French thing about you?  my resting bitch face..

AHH!!! I keep Remembering that it's almost my birthday and I jump every time. I hope you call me.

How are you?

Say THREE nice things about yourself. (not a question, i just want you too :p)

favorite compliment you've gotten?

Something about you that I don't know yet?

Do you want kids?

Please call, Moonshine. I miss you.

Love,

   Sirius O. Black

-delivered tuesday, november 4th-

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- 19.12 MONDAY, NOVEMBER 3RD: INCOMING CALL ; +44*******-

“Sirius?”

“Moony!”

“Hi Siri. Happy birthday.”

“Thanks Moons!”

“I- Shit. I am sorry for not calling you sooner.”

“Yeah. Kind of a dick move.”

“I know, I just.. Something came up.”

“Mhm..”

“Please don't be mad. I am sorry.”

“It's fine, Moony. Really.”

“I will pretend that I believe you. Did my present arrive?”

“Depends. Would your present happen to be in a terribly wrapped box?”

“That would be the one.”

“Then yes. I did get it.”

“Have you.. opened it?”

“Not yet, I was busy opening presents from my friends.”

“Oh! Right. What all did you get?”

“Reg and Evan got me this rare book. Barty got me some new jewels for my tongue, James and Pete got me a shit load of stuff and so did everyone else.”

“What was your favorite gift?”

“You calling.”

“Har-har. I'm serious-”

“No, I am Sirius.”

“O fy Nuw..”

“I'm just taking the piss, Moons. My favorite was probably the clothes and records everyone got me.”

“I am glad you've had a good birthday.”

“I guess you could say that..”

“Has it not been good?”

“No! It has. I just got a letter from my parents. Kinda put me down.”

“I am sorry about them, love.. How about you open my gift? It might cheer you up.”

“I- Uhm. Merde. You are right. I will open it right now.”

“I hope you like it.”

“...”

“...”

“ *sniffle* “

“Sirius? Are you.. crying?”

“You.. you got me.. *sniffle* a tattoo gun??”

“Yeah.. Do you not like it?”

“I love it, Moons! Fuck- Je ne sais même pas quoi dire... Merci beaucoup…”

“Haha.. I will pretend to understand…”

“désolée.. My mind blanks sometimes.. Thank you so much Moons. Is this.. Did you give me a rock..?”

“Don't tease.”

*giggle* “I- hah- I'm not. It's cute.”

“You are laughing..”

“I'm sorry Moons. I love it so much. This brown.. it's so pretty.”

“Thanks.. It was the closest I could find to my eye color..”

“You are so sappy..” *ruffling around*

“What are you up too?”

“I put it in a necklace, so now I always have a part of you with me.”

“Siri..”

“This is one of the best gifts I have ever gotten.”

“There's one more thing, at the bottom. Don't read the card until later.”

“Is this- Oh my god.”

“...”

*more rusting* “It's so soft..”

“Did you just put it on?”

“What did you expect me to do!! You send over one of your huge, fluffy, nerdy sweaters that smell like you.. Obviously, I am going to put it on.”

“I'm glad you like it.”

“Moons. Thank you.”

“Of course. Happy Birthday. You are one of my best friends.”

“Oh. Right. Well, thank you for the present. Hopefully I hear from you again soon?”

“You will. Bye Sirius.”

“Bye Remus.”

-CALL ENDED ;  20.07-

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-sent tuesday, november 4th-

Dear Sirius Oberon Black,

Maybe it's a moon? Like Moony. Oberon is one of Uranas’ (haha) moons. I was thinking, your name is a star and so is Regulus’ so maybe your middle name is some spacey thing too.

Happy Birthday! Technically it was yesterday, but you should hear it again. The Big 18. Old man. I am glad you liked your present. I wonder what you think about the card. Have fun. Be careful, it is very strong. 

High Remus is not as smart as sober Remus. Maybe you should start writing in pencil too. It would make your handwriting look less posh. 

You think of me like I am some sheltered Mormon. I have played ‘never have I ever’ and it is stupid. I am glad your party was so fun. I am still sorry for not calling. I might explain later.

My party wasn't nearly as fun as yours. I hung out with Tom and his friends and got high. Made some new friends. And surprisingly, I got hit on a few times. I danced with some people and shared a cig with this guy. He was pretty. Had long hair and pale skin. We almost hooked up, but then I threw up and he left. I would've left too. I am a mess. 

It's weird, usually I can control myself, but whenever I tried to flirt, it felt like I was betraying someone. Like I was cheating on a lover that doesn't yet exist. Maybe it's almost my time!

Are you over that crush yet? It doesn't sound like it in this letter, but maybe by the time mine arrives, you will be. Or maybe something has happened with him and you. I will manifest the best!!!

Scars aren't that sensitive of a topic for me. It's just that we haven't seen each other, so obviously you wouldn't know. When I say that I have a lot of scars, I mean it, Sirius.

Sharing stories does sound comforting, though. I think it would be a good bonding activity for us. Not that we need it, but what if things are awkward when we meet? If we meet. Forget I said anything actually.

I think I am starting to hate my Da too. He is trying his best though. And that's all that matters. He's getting scarier. Ma is noticing now, I think she's going to go on a work trip during the Christmas season, so it might just be me and him. Sometimes they go together, but I doubt she would want to be with him.

Haha, I don't even remember saying that about you riding me. Sorry. High Moony is a horny Moony.

Good job on the win. I never doubted you, I swear!! I knew you guys could do it. When's the next game? I'm guessing this Friday. Who's it against? Do you think you will win?

I am listening to this album as soon as I can. Tomorrow after work I will be buying the CD. Thank you for telling me about this. Jeff Buckley is life.

I feel so bad for not calling. You seemed so worried. I would've been too, if I didn't hear from you. My Da was just having an episode and I didn't want to push him. I’ll go into more depth later, if I feel like it. Sorry for seeming so rude over the phone. I was in a mood. You made me feel better. I feel so warm and fuzzy whenever I hear your voice, which sounds pathetic because we've only called like, three times.

Hearing that you are getting clean makes me so happy, Sirius. I am so proud of you. I have been trying to get clean too. It's hard. It's just always been like, something I could do if I needed to, and now I am trying not to and my brain is so confused. But, you know, getting better together, right?

I ate all the chocolate. I definitely feel better. I sent you a little gift with this letter too. I hope you like it, it took me a while to draw up. I was thinking of you while doing it.

It's been so lonely at the cottage. I wish Lils was here. Only a month until I get to see her. She said she is going to come down! I am so excited, I really missed having her over. My bed is so cold without her presence.

Bob likes hearing about you, by the way. He always sits and listens. The scratch he gave me healing, but it left a mark on my face. I suppose it just adds to my ‘rugged’ look. I broke my mirror yesterday. I was staring at myself for too long. It bruised my hand like a bitch, Tom couldn't stop laughing at me when I told him. Mamgu is worried for me. I think my parents might send me over to her soon. Her and my Pops can be scary. They always make me do work when I am at their farm. 

How are you?  I think I am good.

Say THREE nice things about yourself.  Hmmm.. I am tall. I am loyal. I understand. That felt weird.

favorite compliment you've gotten?  Lils said she liked my ribcage once.

Something about you that I don't know yet?  I need a cane to walk.

Do you want kids? Yeah. This might sound stupid, but in my head I have this son, his name is Teddy. And everything I do, I do it for him. Don't laugh please.

‘Sometimes I miss you so much I can hardly stand it.’ I feel that a lot right now. Sorry for the short letter, this is the last piece of paper I can find.

Are you okay?

What are you getting everyone for the holidays?

What are your plans for the holidays?

What's gonna be the first tattoo you do?

Do you like the sweater I sent?

Favorite song right now?

Thank you for worrying about me. It makes me feel wanted.

Sincerely,

   Remus J. Lupin

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Remus’ birthday card to Sirius

Dear Sirius,

Happy birthday! I hope it's amazing. You are officially an adult now! In the United States, that is.

We have only known each other for about a month and I already like you so much. Is that crazy? You are just such a likeable person. Hearing you talk bad about yourself is like hearing your lover talk down on themselves. It's terrible. Everything about you is perfect, even the imperfect things. It's like you are magic.

I hope you like the card, I know you like Bowie and all. I also hope you like this weed I sent with this. Hopefully they allowed it to come through. Be careful, it's strong shit.

Anyways, I just wanted to thank you for being a good friend. Just know, I will always be here for you.

Love,

   Remus J. Lupin

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