Chapter 3
Four days.
It’s been four days and James feels like he’s going to die. Literally. He can barely sit still for two minutes without breaking down crying.
James lies in his bed and stares at the ceiling.
He hasn’t spoken to Sirius or Remus or Peter or Lily or Marlene or any of his friends since that night, and he knows his phone is probably filled to the brim with messages.
The only person James has spoken to was his mother.
She called him after Sirius told her they hadn’t heard from him in a while and James couldn’t just decline a call from his mother.
He wanted to lie and say he was fine, but it only took one ‘everything alright, love?’ before he told her everything.
She said not to worry. That things like this took time, and that Regulus was probably hurt and like, severely traumatised and James needs to be patient. She said that he must’ve had a reason for not telling James, that even if it didn’t make sense to him now, it would all make sense once they talked it out.
But James was having trouble being okay with that. He’s hurt. Everything hurts and James doesn’t know what to do.
Why would Regulus do that? Why? Did- did he not want to be James’ soulmate? Is that why?
James has been spiraling through thought after thought for the past few days and he can’t fucking take it anymore.
But Regulus won’t answer his messages or calls and he didn’t open up when James went to his apartment yesterday and he doesn’t know what to do anymore.
He’s just really fucking tired.
James sighs and closes his eyes, shifting so that he’s on his side.
Fuck.
His eyes snap back open when his chest tightens in a familiar way. Shit. He sits up just as the soul shifting begins, panicking, and then-
Oh.
James blinks, Regulus’ soul sitting heavily in chest. Oh.
James feels scared. And really sad. Hopeless. Guilty. Like everything bad that’s ever happened in the world was his fault.
He doesn’t understand. Why on earth would Regulus feel like that? Does he think he’ll, what- damage James somehow? That doesn’t make any fucking sense.
Even if it doesn’t make sense to you, James, it makes sense to him. He’s the one feeling it, and he can’t change that.
His mother’s words ring through his head as James struggles to breathe with how painful the feelings are.
Fucking fuck.
James leaves his house with only one sock and no shirt under his coat.
The soul-shifting has ended by now, and rain splatters down as he sprints through London.
He rings Regulus’ doorbell at least 15 times, when there’s a buzz and a click, the door opening.
James runs up the stairs, and when he finally reaches the door, he’s greeted by a tall, blonde girl, who looks at him as if he’s lost his fucking mind.
“Can I help you?”
“I-I’m looking for Regulus?”
“It’s nearly midnight.”
“I know- Sorry, it’s just really important-”
“Alright, just, christ, get in then.”
She steps aside and lets him through, and James rushes down the hall towards Regulus’ bedroom.
Standing before it, James can hear his heartbeat in his ears as he knocks. He hears a meow, Bubbles, and footsteps. James doesn’t think, his nerves getting the better of him just as the handle starts to turn, “Regulus?”
The door is pushed shut again before he can even see Regulus.
“No, no, Regulus, please, open up. Please?”
Silence.
“Reg- look, I know you’re scared, I know, I get it now, but please, we’re- we’re soulmates. It doesn’t matter- none of thatmatters. I- Every single part of you was literally made for me to love. Even the bits that are scary. All of it. Please, just- just give me a chance. I’ll show you. Please.”
James waits, but still- silence.
And then the tingle.
James sighs, tears stinging in his eyes.
Fuck this.
He pushes the door open.
Regulus is curled up in his little pillow-area, furiously wiping at his tears, sniffling, with Bubbles hugged closely to his chest.
James can’t take it, he closes the door behind him and stumbles over to Regulus.
Hello, his body sings when he places his hands on Regulus’ shoulders, I missed you.
Regulus sniffles again, and a sob leaves him as James’ hand moves from his shoulder to his cheek.
He shakes his head, “James, I-”
“Reg-”
“No, you don’t- I’m not-”
“I don’t care, Reg. You’re my soulmate. You could tell me right now that you’ve killed someone and would still fucking love you. I love you. I’ve loved you my whole fucking life, Reg, and I’m so sorry about what they’ve done to you, but you’re safe now. You can’t let them take this away from you, too. Please, just- just give us a chance.”
Regulus cries helplessly, his breaths shaky, and he tips forward, right into James’ arms, grabbing at him.
“I’ve got you,” James whispers, holding him closer.
“M’So- M’Sorry, I- I-”
“It’s okay. I know. It’s not your fault, Reg, it’s okay.”
James furiously kisses Regulus’ hair, his small frame fitting perfectly against his chest.
“I-”
Regulus tries to speak again, and James shushes him gently, “Don’t worry, I know.”
“No- I- I love you, too.”
Oh.
James smiles, his chest lighting up with the tingle again.
Regulus is staring up at him with the biggest eyes, and even if they’re still red and puffy and he sort of smells a little and his hair clearly needs a wash, James feels nothing but pure fucking love.
He cups Regulus’ face, holding it in his hands and kissing his forehead.
“You’re everything, Reg. I know this is scary. I know you think you don’t deserve it, and I know it’s gonna be a while until you fully believe this, but you’re worth every second of it.”
Regulus sniffles and turns his face into James’ palm, kissing it.
When their eyes meet again, they both pause, staring, smiling shyly, until Regulus sits up a little and presses their lips together.
James has heard about soulmates all his life. He’s heard of what being with yours feels like, he’s felt the tingle and he’s soul-shifted and everything, but the biggest part of being part of the same soul, is your markings.
Because once you kiss your soulmate for the first time, you get markings above your heart.
James can feel the gold light etching his skin as he threads his fingers through Regulus’ hair, their bodies pressed together. He tastes of nothing in particular except Regulus and it’s fucking heavenly.
When they pull apart for air, they immediately fall into a hug, Regulus giggling into james’ shoulder.
Then, he pulls James’ shirt up.
James can’t see his mark, but Regulus drags his fingertips across it, staring like it’s precious, then leans forward and kisses it. James lets him, smiles, and then gently pulls him back and lift his shirt up.
His eyes snag on the scars, because for a second he thinks they’re something Regulus’ mother did to him, but then it clicks that they’re from surgery and James sighs in relief, leaning forward to kiss them, before looking at Regulus’ mark.
It’s a sunflower, turned towards James, but as he moves his fingers towards it, it turns again, following them. James grins.
He looks down at his own, ironically, a moonflower. James knows from his mother’s love for flowers that they only bloom at night, and it’s currently closed, shaped like a star, but then Regulus reaches forward, his fingers ghosting above the skin, and it opens.
James grins wider, he’s sure his cheeks will hurt after this but he couldn’t care less as he cups the back of Regulus’ head and pulls him back in for a kiss, both of them smiling into it.