Remus felt exhausted. The stress from everything going on was getting to him; Lily and James’ death, baby Harry being dead, Peter being dead, Sirius being to blame for everything, Sirius being on the run now. Remus had been on business for the Order of the Phoenix when everything went down. It’s been a few weeks, close to a month, since everything had happened and he’s still feeling exhausted. The full moon was only a few days ago, so that didn’t help either.
Remus was miserable and needed time to just breathe at the moment. He searched for chocolate and felt a twinge of pain. Sirius joked when they were teenagers about how they’d never be able to eat chocolate again, seeing as how they were both dogs. Remus was always amused by that joke.
He never should have trusted Sirius, and tensions had grown between them during the height of the war. They’d each grown to not trust each other, each suspicious of the other. Remus wishes he’d been with James and Lily when it happened, because then he’d at least be able to try to protect baby Harry. Harry, who was now dead. But Remus wanted so badly to believe it wasn’t true since no body was found. The house had been blown up though, so Remus wasn’t hopeful.
Remus put his wand on the counter and rubbed his eyes as the exhaustion began to hit him even more. He crouched down on the floor and grabbed a chocolate bar from his ‘surviving the time of the month’ box. (James called it that and Remus tried not to think about that right now). Remus heard something behind him and before he could react, he heard a voice. A voice he only heard in his nightmares now.
“Don’t move,” Sirius said. Remus felt pissed off and gritted his teeth. He wasn’t even scared like he thought he’d be. He was too angry to be scared of Sirius Black, too angry that he killed his friends and their baby.
“Are you here to kill me too?” Remus asked, not turning around. He wished he had his wand but he was too far from the counter.
Before Sirius could make a snarky comment or kill him, Remus heard the one sound he’d never thought he’d hear again. He heard a baby babble quietly. Remus felt his heart drop as he slowly turned around to see Sirius with his wand pointed at him, and Harry in his other arm. Harry, who was playing with Sirius’ leather jacket. He was alive. Remus felt dizzy from the onslaught of joy from seeing Harry alive. Except Sirius was holding him, so Remus’ joy was short lived.
“You won’t attack me, Remus, not with me holding Harry,” Sirius said carefully as Harry started to fall asleep in Sirius’ arm. “At least I hope you won’t.”
“Sirius. Put Harry down, please,” Remus said, holding his hands in a calming gesture. His voice was shaky.
He glanced over at the counter and noticed his wand was gone. Sirius had probably taken it.
Harry was alive and okay and Remus was going to keep him safe. He’d run away where absolutely no one could find them and he’d keep Harry safe, like Sirius should have done. Remus felt anxious when he saw the scar on Harry’s forehead.
“Whatever you want in here, take it, just give me Harry. Please,” Remus pleaded. He didn’t care if he was begging. He needed to get Harry away from Sirius right now.
“Drink,” Sirius said with a glare.
“What?” Remus asked with a confused expression.
Sirius put his wand in his other hand to grab a jar from his pocket. He took a sip and put the potion on the side table in front of Remus. He pointed his wand at Remus again.
“What is that?” Remus asked carefully.
“Veritaserum,” Sirius said. “Drink, now.”
Remus felt nauseous. Sirius didn’t point his wand at Harry, yet, and he wanted to keep it that way. Remus felt terrified at the thought of Sirius using a baby as leverage against him. What information could he possibly want? Information about the Order? Plans to stop Voldemort? Sirius also drank it himself so Remus was confused. What purpose would that serve? Gain his trust? There were ways to make the potion ineffective. So he could be lying and masquerading it as the truth.
“Remus. Drink,” Sirius said with a glare.
Remus slowly grabbed the jar. Getting a closer look, he noticed the liquid was clear. It looked like Veritaserum, but he couldn’t tell for sure. He decided to risk it and drank the potion.
“What now?” Remus asked, staring at Harry. He looked so peaceful while he was sleeping. Remus was worrying about the scar on his forehead and how that happened. Did Sirius do that? Voldemort? “Are you going to hurt Harry?”
“Never,” Sirius said immediately. “Are you going to hurt him?”
“No. I would never hurt Harry,” Remus said, blinking at his confession. They four of them had all taken Veritaserum before as a joke back at Hogwarts, so he knew what it felt like. This seemed like it was the real deal. “Are you a Death Eater?”
“Absolutely not,” Sirius said. “Are you?”
“No. I will never, ever be. I’d rather be dead,” Remus said, gritting his teeth. “Why did you betray Lily and James and Harry?”
“I didn’t. Peter did,” Sirius said, glaring. Remus stopped. Wait…Peter? That didn’t make any sense. “He was a spy for Voldemort. It’s my fault. I told James and Lily to make him their Secret Keeper because it would be less obvious. And he gave them to Voldemort!”
Sirius jostled Harry by accident, causing him to stir. But he didn’t wake up completely. He quieted down and watched as Harry fell back asleep. Remus stared, not entirely sure he was believing Sirius.
“Peter killed 12 muggles when I confronted him, and I killed him,” Sirius said quietly. “It’s all my fault that they’re dead and Harry’s an orphan. I grabbed Harry from the crib and ran. I didn’t know where to go. But I went after Pettigrew and killed him.”
Remus felt numb. Sirius took the same potion he did, so he was probably telling the truth. Maybe. He still didn’t trust him completely. Remus felt scared at the sight of Harry in Sirius’ arms.
“Give me Harry,” Remus said as calmly as he could. “I said I wouldn’t hurt him, and that’s the truth. I won’t hurt him.”
Sirius stepped back nervously, his eyes watering slightly.
“Trust is earned,” Remus said carefully, ignoring the wand pointed at him. “I took the potion like you wanted. I’m listening to you talking and explaining the situation. Now you need to trust me.”
“Like when we were friends in school,” Sirius mumbled.
“Yes,” Remus said with a nod. “You became an animagus for me. You trusted me and spent lots of full moons with me, knowing what I was capable of. You trusted me to not hurt you. I’m asking you to trust me again.”
Sirius slowly walked closer to Remus and handed him Harry. Remus felt relieved but didn’t show it.
“Hi, Harry. I’m your Uncle Moony,” Remus said with a small smile before he looked at Sirius.
“I don’t trust anyone right now,” Sirius said quietly, keeping his eyes on Harry. His hands were shaking.
“Neither do I,” Remus admitted. Harry used his tiny hands to grab Remus’ shirt. Remus felt sick to his stomach. Soon enough, Harry fell back asleep. “Maybe we can…not trust anybody together.”
Sirius looked at Remus and nodded slowly. The bags under his eyes were particularly noticeable now that they were closer to each other. He looked utterly exhausted, even more exhausted than Remus felt.
“I’m going to pass out now,” Sirius said before he collapsed and fell asleep on the floor. Remus rolled his eyes.
“He’s very dramatic,” Remus complained to Harry as he grabbed Sirius’ wand and his own wand. “Always has been. Remus, my love, let’s run away under the moon together, blah blah blah.”
Remus stilled and looked at Sirius again. He was asleep. He probably hasn’t slept much since Halloween. Remus scoffed at the fact that he still loved him. He grabbed a blanket and put it over Sirius on the floor.
“Let’s go find some food for you, Harry,” Remus said.
——
The first full moon with Harry was the worst. Well, not the worst full moon he’s ever experienced but it was still bad. Remus was worried that with him being…busy, that Sirius would take Harry. They still didn’t trust each other, despite the fact that they both drank the Veritaserum. Remus needed time to adjust to everything. The three of them moved to a cottage and had protection charms and everything to keep Harry safe. But tensions were still high enough for them both to be on edge around each other.
A few days before the full moon, Remus started to feel it. He knew it was going to be a bad one. The cottage had charms in the basement so that Remus could transform and not damage the walls or floor or anything.
“I don’t like this,” Remus said to himself as he stared at Harry.
Harry was asleep on a pile of pillows and blankets on the floor. Remus couldn’t help but smile at his peacefulness. James looked the same way when he slept. Remus shoved the thoughts of James away.
He felt nervous to even be near Harry. He didn’t want to hurt him. One of the last things they needed right now was for a one year old they basically kidnapped to be turned into a werewolf.
“The basement is safe,” Sirius said as he walked into the living room.
Remus didn’t want to do this but he didn’t have a choice. He just hoped that Harry was still here afterwards and that Sirius wouldn’t take him away.
Remus nodded numbly. He gently brushed Harry’s hair out of his face and walked into the basement. Sirius fidgeted with his wand. He’d gotten a new one before he was a known fugitive. It wasn’t exactly like he could tell anyone the truth, given how Pettigrew was dead. No one could vouch for him. So he was on the run.
Remus looked around the empty basement and saw chains.
“Magic, they won’t break,” Sirius said. “I can unlock them when it’s morning.”
“Teenage you would have made a joke about tying me up,” Remus said. He walked over to the handcuffs and started to lock them around his wrists.
“I thought about it, but given that you still don’t trust me, I thought I’d better not,” Sirius said. “Although I could make a joke-“
“Don’t push your luck,” Remus said. Sirius smirked and made sure the restraints were secure.
“There’s enough chain so you won’t feel stuck to the wall, but it’s secure enough,” Sirius said. “I know how much you hate feeling like you’re suffocating.”
“You’ll be looking after Harry during this?” Remus asked. Sirius nodded. Remus felt nauseous but needed to say something. “Please don’t take him away.”
“I wouldn’t have shown up to see you a month ago if I was just going to take him away,” Sirius said numbly. “I showed up because I didn’t know if I could trust you, but I wanted to see you. It took weeks to brew the Veritaserum. Then after we both drank the potion and both confessed to not being a worshiper of him, I thought I could trust you.”
“Do you?” Remus asked.
“More than before. But I am getting there,” Sirius said.
“Me too,” Remus admitted.
“Be good,” Sirius said. Remus laughed and watched Sirius leave the basement.
Sirius made sure the charms were okay and sighed. He walked over next to Harry and sat on the floor.
“I’m sorry, James and Lily,” Sirius whispered to Harry. “It’s all my fault.”
Sirius scooted closer to Harry and curled into a ball. He stared at the scar on his forehead. A baby small enough to be carried had the power to kill Voldemort. Lily’s love kept him safe when he couldn’t.
“I figure you’ll probably inherit your father’s talent for being a trouble maker and your mother’s talent for being intelligent,” Sirius said.
He glanced at the basement door. It was soundproof, so no one would be able to hear anything. Sirius and Remus especially didn’t want Harry to hear. He’d already been through so much.
Sirius looked at Harry again and started crying. He didn’t know how long he was crying but he realized Harry wasn’t asleep anymore when he noticed him grabbing his finger with his hand.
“Oh, I’m okay,” Sirius said, wiping away his tears. “I just miss some friends of mine, that’s all.”
Harry rolled over to Sirius and Sirius picked him up. He hugged him.
“You, my godson, are very kind,” Sirius said in a whisper. “You get that from your mother.”
Sirius stayed there all night on the floor, occasionally eating snacks that belonged to Harry.
——
The first coherent thought Remus had was worry about if Sirius ran off with Harry. He was in pain and exhausted but he still needed to know. Apparently Sirius must have assumed the same thing because eventually when he came down in the morning, he was carrying Harry in his arms.
Remus instantly felt relieved. He didn’t even care if he was still tied up and his clothes were torn. Seeing Harry playing with a toy in front of him was enough to calm his anxiety.
“Remus, are you alright?” Sirius asked. The handcuffs unlocked with a wave of his wand and Remus slid away from the wall.
“You didn’t take him,” Remus said, his eyes watering slightly.
“No,” Sirius said.
“You’re not a Death Eater,” Remus said. Sirius shook his head.
“No, I’m not. My family would have loved for that to happen, but I’ve never been one to follow the rules,” Sirius said. He handed Remus a blanket and Remus wrapped it around himself.
“I thought…” Remus mumbled. “I was worried…”
“I know,” Sirius said softly as he sat on the floor in front of Remus. “I don’t know what’s going to happen, but I know that I trust you.”
“Me too,” Remus said with a shaky nod. He was still feeling the effects of last night but he was telling the truth, as was Sirius.