Chapter 3
It’s past curfew, far past curfew. I’ve just finished my Prefect rounds and started heading to the Hufflepuff dorms. I manage to make it through the common room and to the dorms. Knowing that Alice’s roommates are gone tonight I knock gently on the door before coming in. The circular room is bathed in soft, golden hues, reflecting the House's inherent values of loyalty, hard work, and fair play. Beds are adorned with plush, badger-emblazoned quilts and surrounded by sturdy, hand-crafted wooden furniture. Copper accents are incorporated throughout the space, reflecting the House's connection to the Earth. Low, round tables provide ample space for studying and collaborative endeavors, while the strategically placed plants bring a touch of the outdoors in, contributing to the room's overall feeling of tranquility and belonging.
Alice is in flannel pajamas, her hair tied into pigtails. I can tell she’s recently woken up, she knows what time and what nights I come. Tip-toeing my way to her bathroom I remove my makeup and change into the spare nightgown I keep here. I come back to her warm, comfy bed where she holds me in her arms, gently petting my hair.
“I love you, Cissa. You are my flower.” She whispers with that voice like honey. Her shampoo has the distinct smell of coconut and lemongrass, and petroleum jelly used as lotion. I snuggle up with her as I always do on these nights, soaking her in. My lips gently grazed her neck, leaving a trail of kisses in my wake. Hands roaming, perhaps farther than they should, as our bodies press together.
"My love…” I breathe into her ear as I run my fingers down her chest. I want to freeze this moment forever, I want to live in an orb of our love and happiness. Her breath hitches as I explore her body in worship, I lay chaste kisses down her chest.
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I rise before the sun and sneak back to the Slytherin dorms, I take a shower and get ready for the day. At breakfast, I receive a letter from my father, a rarity in and of itself. The letter reads:
"Dear Narcissa,
I am writing to inform you that I have finalized your betrothal to Lucius Malfoy. The marriage is scheduled for June 1st, 1975. This union is arranged between the Black and Malfoy families. The Malfoys, despite their wealth, seek acceptance among the most ancient and prestigious families, while the Blacks require resources to maintain their lifestyle and influence. As a Black, you are aware of the reputation of various relatives.
I expect you to understand the importance of this union for our family's status and future.
Sincerely,
Your father, Cygnus Black III"
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My stomach flips and I'm suddenly nauseous, I have to marry Lucius Malfoy in just shy of 4 years. That pompous, self-righteous, no-good Peacock of a man? Out of all the pureblood men in Britain, in the world, Father chose Lucius Abraxas Malfoy. Merlin's Beard this is bad, so bad. I knew my time with Alice was limited but an official end date? I can't, I walk as calmly as I can manage out of the Great Hall to the ladies' lavatory. Pushing open a stall, I immediately find my head in a toilet bowl. Nausea turned to my oatmeal and stomach acid coating the septic system. I feel someone holding my hair up and rubbing my back, I don't have to look up to know it's my love. Only she would allow me. Without speaking a word I hand her the letter. When I finally cease puking, I look up at her. She's lost her color, and Alice is just as terrified as I am.
"Nothing I say will convince you to run away with me, will it?" She whispers tears in her eyes that dare not fall. I wish I had the confidence to leave, to run away with my love. I wish I had the courage. I wish I could tell her a pretty little lie about how someday we will share a flat in Chester, that we will have a life together, but I know better and the sweetened lies cannot even form on my tongue. No matter how much I wish those words to be true, I promised I'd never lie to her and I will not break that promise now. I take a deep breath. Inhale, exhale.
"I'm sorry." It's not what I intended to say but it's all I can get out. I don't know what to tell her, what to tell myself, that will make this okay because it isn't okay. I may be magical but I cannot snap my fingers to make things just or fair. The sad look in her eyes remains. I can see the gears turning in her head, how to make this better, how she can turn this around with her optimistic outlook.
"I love you, my flower. I want to make the most of our time together!" Alice says lovingly, more love in her voice than I ever show anyone, even her. She deserves more than me, I know this, but I am too selfish to let her go before June 1st of 1975. I will milk every last ounce of time with her for every Galleon it is worth, and trust me when I say even the Black family vaults would suffer if I actually paid her for her time.
I hug her as she says this and choke out my own reply, “I do too, my love. I do too.”