Chapter 5
Couch Fucker
Saturday 6:45 PM
I am in hell.
I am actually in hell.
He sent me A PICTURE
....okay???? and??
AND HE LOOKS
I can't even say it
oh my god did you finally realize you wanna fuck him... CONGRATS BABE weve allllll been waiting
FIRST OF ALL, DIE
SECOND OD ALL, I do NOT want to fuck him.
babe
I don't
I just
He was wearing this shirt, and the sleeves were rolled up, and his hair was a mess... but in a perfect way and he was smirking like he knew exactly what he was doing... and
yeah youre sooooo normal abt this
SHUT the fuck up
It's just
He's going ON A DATEEEE, Barty
Because some absolute WASTREL is going to sit across from him and see all of that that think they have a CHANCE
And I'm supposed to be FINE with that
babe... this sounds an AWFUL lot like jealousy
I am NOT jealous
I just don't like the idea of him being around idiots
Which most people are
babe
STOP SAYING IT LIKE THAT!!!
okay. so lets say youre not jealous
but purely for my own entertainment
what would you do if he WASNT going on a date tonight
I don't know
Probably call him an idiot
Maybe ask him to tell me a story
...Probably let him talk for hours while I pretend not to care but actually listen to every word
babe
I'M GOING TO KILL YOU