Eileen
At least, he thought he was alone, until he heard the voice of the only other person he had ever loved. “Sevvie.”
Oh look, Severus had more tears after all.
His mother wore dark purple robes lined with silver, and her dark hair hung smooth and loose down her back. She looked younger than he remembered, younger even than he was now. He almost didn’t recognize her, but who else could it be?
“Why did you leave me?” The afterlife had worn away every trace of his occlumency barriers, and the truth lived on his lips. Besides, Severus didn’t want to waste any time in these short visits.
Eileen smiled sadly. Her hands twitched at her sides. “I couldn’t handle life anymore, Sevvie. Your father…well, he’s not here, so there’s not much to say. I thought you were fine at Hogwarts, that you had friends and teachers to support you…I am so sorry, Sevvie my love, so so sorry.”
Severus remembered his aching. Yes, he remembered the pain, and the loneliness, and the anger. He had lots of anger for his mother.
But he couldn’t find it here in the green quiet park, and he couldn’t remember where he last had it.
“Did father kill you?” It was something Severus had always wondered, and had always been afraid to find out. Afterlife was a brave place.
“No.” Eileen lifted her hands towards him, then dropped them again. She scowled, but Severus knew his own expressions well enough to recognise sadness. “No, he simply left, and the accident happened a few weeks later. I was relieved—” Eileen stopped. There is some instinct that mothers eternally possess: to hide their suffering from their children. “Didn’t they tell you? I saw you, when you got the letter…I am sorry.”
“I barely read the letter,” Severus confessed. His gut was twisting, the memories refreshing in his mind. “I…was not in a good place then. I regret not making arrangements for your burial.” What kind of apology could a son make for refusing to act in mourning for his mother?
Eileen waved a hand in eager dismissal. “It is of no consequence. It does not matter to me anymore; there are other things to occupy one’s time here…I understand you are going to return.”
Severus grasped the change of topic gratefully. “Yes, only because Lily insists. I believe she would never give me a moment’s rest if I refused.”
“Yes, I agree. She is quite a dedicated mother,” Eileen said softly. “Severus, I understand that you are angry, and you needn’t dismiss that. But I hope you know how much—”
“I’m not angry at you,” he interrupted quickly. “Not anymore, it…it doesn’t matter anymore, does it? You’re here, we’re here…when I return, I’d like to see you, and—talk,” Severus finished lamely. He stepped closer, realising that his mother was waiting for him to begin to close the distance between them.
“That would be lovely,” Eileen answered, her chin wobbling. “I would love to hear about your life, the parts I missed.”
“Of course. And I will tell you what Potter gets up to.”
Her smile was just like his, eyes crinkling in the corners. “He is not much worse than you were, at times. I thought you were destined for Gryffindor, when you were younger.”
Severus gaped, offended. “You did not!” He didn’t remember getting into trouble as a child.
“Oh, yes,” Eileen mused, coming closer so they stood within arm’s reach. A tiny, tentative smile began on her lips. “You were always very curious, and you had to climb on everything as soon as you could walk. And don’t think I don’t know the Sorting Hat almost put you in Gryffindor.”
Severus wanted to pretend he had no idea what she was talking about, but he was fully under the afterlife’s veritaserum-like effects. “I couldn’t, though. Seven years with Potter? I’d rather die—”
The joke fell quite flat. Eileen’s smile turned sad, and she put a tentative hand on his arm, right next to where the Dark Mark was. “No, instead you had seven years of Potter and all the Slytherins who pulled you into following Tom Riddle. He is going to regret what he did to you, Sevvie, mark my words.”
He lifted a corner of his mouth. “Do you think he’ll come here, then?”
“Oh, I doubt it, it’s not really that type of place, but I’m not letting anything stop me from avenging my son. Neither will Lily.”
Severus didn’t doubt it. His mum seemed much more confident than she ever had under Tobias’ roof.
“Do you think I should go back?” That wasn’t actually what Severus wanted to know, he realised. “Don’t you want me to stay?”
“Oh, Sevvie,” his mother breathed. She stepped close and cradled his head in her hands. Severus felt tears returning and bent his head to hide them. It was funny how, in this strange afterlife, crying on his mum’s shoulder felt the same as always.
She was tall enough to hold him comfortably, and her arms fit around him like they had been doing so for all the years since last time. She rocked slightly side to side.
Her robes smelled like home, and Severus’ head fit perfectly on her shoulder. His scalp tingled with magic flowing from her hand, giving him strength. His heart settled to beat a little bit slower—a relief after years of stress and torture. Their breaths matched and mingled, meeting the breeze that rustles the leaves on the trees.
When Eileen faded away, Severus stood still, memorising the feel of her love. He did not mark the passage of time or the passage of his body back to mortal life—at least, not until he woke up.