Madeleines
Cooking is art. Regulus is an artist, his talent for cooking any kind of food is undeniable. But his specialty would always be confectionery, he loved buttery cakes, cookies, icing, macaroons. However, his favourites would always be madeleine's, its spongy dough with the light flavour of lemon and vanilla. He has studied all kinds of madeleines, their origins are practically the same, Regulus was also born in Lorraine and cooked the little cookies with mastery at such a young age. He remembered beating the sugar on the expensive mixer in his grandparents' kitchen, his brother was always with him, as much as Sirius was always a denial in the kitchen, but— shit, Regulus loved to cook for his brother.
Of course his parents didn't like that, but Walburga saw in his son an opportunity to make money. At the age of fifteen Regulus was already studying with the best cooks in the region, at eighteen he entered college and now at twenty-five he already ran his own kitchen.
L'Arcturus. A restaurant inherited from his uncle Alphard, who has kept Regulus very busy in recent years. There was no more Walburga, and Sirius had been missing longer than Regulus could remember. Everyone he loved left, but the kitchen was always there.
Regulus felt like a conductor while coordinating the entire kitchen of the restaurant, like an artist of great potential in his most important orchestra, like Leonard Bernstein. He cut the vegetables, grilled the lamb, told Barty to cook the lobster and Evan to clean the crab. His cuisine was French with a touch of Mediterranean, Regulus knew what he was doing while creating the entire restaurant menu. Alphard trusted him enough to leave him in charge of the restaurant.
"A Bouillabaisse, table seven." Dorcas screams passing through the kitchen door.
Regulus observes her friend, her uniform was crumpled. Regulus hated when his employees were not properly dressed, everything in the kitchen was about presentation, if a waitress had her clothes crumpled or her hair messy Regulus could not do a proper job on the food.
"Cass," Regulus called her, his friend looks almost instantly lifting an iron tray with two plates of Thermidor Lobster on top. "your clothes."
Dorcas looks down observing his uniform. "What is wrong?"
"It's crumpled."
"No, it's not."
"Who tied your tie? Your blouse is stained and your skirt is totally crumpled!" Regulus said.
Dorcas rolls his eyes. "Marlene burned our iron, okay? Either I work like this or just in panties!"
Barty intrudes by placing the Bouillabaisse plate on top of the iron counter. "I would love to see your panties Cass."
"I'm going to report you for harassment Crouch!"
Regulus closes his eyes taking a deep breath. "No one will report anyone for harassment! Barty go back to work, your Bouillabaisse its looking like dog vomit." Barty rolls his eyes taking the plate back and starting the plating from scratch. Regulus turns to Dorcas. "Get a clean skirt in my things, Mary must have forgotten some."
Dorcas stares at Regulus with an angry face. "Mary is a dwarf! Her skirt will be small on me."
"Finally we can see your panties then." Evan hums while picking up some dirty dishes to wash.
"I'm a lesbian!" Dorcas screams angrily marching out of the kitchen. "I'm going to deliver this shit and I'll be right back to change."
"Crouch," Regulus says between teeth, Barty looks at him. "you'll be in charge of cleaning tomorrow's fish."
"What? Why?"
"For asking to see Dorcas' panties." Regulus says turning his attention to the sauce of his ratatouille. "You’re grounded."
"Five pounds in the jug!" Evan hums on the other side of the kitchen.
Barty lets out a low curse walking towards the ‘asshole's jar, created by Dorcas for every time Barty was idiots with her or anyone else. All the money bills that were there were put by Barty, because well, he didn't have many scruples with his own words. Regulus laughed finishing making his ratatouille perfectly.
The hours passed quickly, Regulus loved spending time in the kitchen everything was much easier when he did what he loved. The restaurant closed at ten, but everyone only left after eleven, Regulus is very cranky when it comes to cleaning. So everyone should clean their stations until they were to Regulus' liking, which required a lot of time.
Silence settled in the kitchen, only Beethoven's fifth symphony was heard. Regulus always thought too much, classical music in a way gave him comfort. As a child everything was more difficult, his parents did not understand that Regulus' head worked differently from the other children, he started with his clothes, all of them should be folded and stored by colour. At first everyone thought he was just another spoiled child of high society, so Regulus started to get worse, before leaving home he had to give four knots on the shoelace, never odd numbers only even numbers, he never left home at three in the afternoon only two or four. Regulus liked to be in charge of arranging the food in the kitchen, no one touched his food but him, and if it wasn't him who cooked he would never eat anything. Regulus had his rituals, his parents never understood very well, in fact they never wanted to respect very well.
He’s life didn't get easier, he’s rituals evolved into something much worse. Regulus couldn't control it anymore, his fingers were always folded because of a Regulus mania, he simply cut himself when he felt too much. His hands had scars everywhere, made by the kitchen knives that he sharpened almost every day. It's Evan who makes the bandages, a way for Regulus not to get hurt anymore.
"Hey Reg, did Pandora talk to you?" Evan asked with a backpack on his back ready to leave.
Regulus always stayed until later, he never left at eleven only midnight. In their hands they had a stainless bowl of steel with the dough of the madeleines. Pandora is Regulus' best friend also Evan's twin sister, a few years ago she moved from London to live in Brighton with her daughter and Regulus goddaughter. He talked every day with Pandora, his friend was the only person who understood him completely, well at least she didn't judge his way of acting and thinking.
Pandora was a great friend, she loved it when Regulus made Madeleines and ate everything with Luna, an eight-year-old blonde-haired girl. If soul mates existed Pandora was certainly Regulus's, they met very young on Psychiatric hospital when he was sixteen years old and her fifteen. If Regulus got out of there it was because of Pandora.
Even now apart the two continue to be close, Regulus felt a huge affection for Luna. In fact, he loved that girl to her last strands of hair, he would kill to see her happy. Pandora had warned a few days ago that she would go to London to visit them, she would stay with Regulus since Evan lived in a one-bedroom apartment with Barty.
Regulus was excited to receive Luna and Pandora, it had been so long since he had seen them both.
"She said she would arrive at dawn." Regulus warns by putting the dough in the mould.
Evan nodded. "Ask her to send me a message, that idiot always forgets to talk to me."
"Okay, I will talk to her."
"Don't stay late here Black."
Regulus forced a smile. "I'm not going to Rosier."
Evan leaves with Barty, leaving Regulus completely alone. He opens a wine from the cellar, Alphard wouldn't bother. He's always been like that, Regulus likes loneliness, in fact he feels good alone.
Pandora was the first person who showed Regulus that he could be alone and still have people by his side. First it was her, then Evan and Barty appeared, and then Dorcas. However, loneliness was still there, he didn't know where so much sadness came from but Regulus was already living well with it. The wine went down his throat, the only sound was the tic of the stopwatch for the madeleines, Regulus would leave them ready for breakfast. Luna always liked old cookies, Regulus never had contact with children but when Pandora told him that he would be Luna's godfather, Oh it was as if Regulus had won the lottery.
They were young, Pandora had just turned seventeen when she got pregnant with this German exchange student, whom no one knew where he was or if he had the knowledge that he had a daughter. It was Regulus that Pandora asked for help, at eighteen Regulus was in charge of taking care of his pregnant best friend. Evan helped in what he could, but it was Regulus who was there most of the time, his parents would not be very happy when the heir of the family sneaked away to find a pregnant teenager, so the choice was very easy when Orion's heavy hand met Regulus' face, he chose to leave everything behind for Pandora and Luna.
Always for them.
His silence is taken by the cell phone ringing loudly in his pocket.
“Hello Reg?” It’s Pandora who speaks on the other line. “Uncle Archie!!!”
Regulus smiled when he heard the goddaughter’s voice. “Hello, is everything okay?”
“I’m just calling you to tell you that we’re going to be late, the traffic is horrible.”
“It’s okay.” Regulus says in a sigh, he was marking ten minutes to midnight. “Will you still arrive for breakfast? I’m baking madeleines.”
Luna screams after Pandora. “Don’t forget that mine has chocolate!”
“Never.” Regulus responds with a smile. “You’re going straight to my house, right?”
“Yes, we had breakfast and rested a little, I wanted to have lunch with Evan.” Pandora speaks.
“All right, look, it’s midnight, I have to go to sleep. Call me when you arrive so I can open the gate for you, okay?”
“All right.” Before turning off Pandora lets out a sigh. “Hey Reggie, I love you.”
Regulus smiles when he hears those words. “I love you too Panda.”
“Say goodbye to your godfather Luna,”
“Bye uncle Archie, I love you more than anything.”
There were no more conversations after that. Regulus goes home feeling his heart weigh, soon he will be with Pandora again.
He sleeps as soon as his head comes into contact with the pillow.
…
It's late at night when Regulus' cell phone rings. He can never sleep for a whole night, so he was waking up while reading 'Patisserie, a book about French confectionery. Regulus liked to spend his time reading, organising his ideas was always good for him. The desserts that could be introduced to the L'Arcturus menu, Regulus' mind never stops, it was like that since I was a child. He remembers Walburga screaming because Regulus never slept, he preferred to sneak in at dawn to make buttery cookies for Sirius to eat.
It's been a while since Regulus thought about his brother. In fact, he never let himself think of Sirius. It had been years since Regulus heard about his brother, he didn't even know where Sirius currently lived. It was better that way, staying away from Sirius was the best decision Regulus could have had, his brother is a mess. A big black hole sucking everyone into its darkness, Regulus alone already did this, but with Sirius it was different.
Because Sirius is Sirius. A narcissistic mess who thinks he is the only man who has suffered in the world. Regulus doesn't have time for his brother's childish nonsense, he was a fucking super award-winning chef, he doesn't need Sirius in his life anymore.
The phone rings once more. Regulus never answered the phone on the first call, always on the second, his friends already knew that. It's probably Barty asking to sleep in Regulus' apartment, complaining that Evan is very boring and bossy. Rolling his eyes, Regulus throws the book anyway on the couch walking slowly to the phone on the office table.
"Barty, it's three in the morning, you can't sleep—"
"Do I speak to Regulus Black?" The voice was that of a stranger.
Regulus' blood cools. "Yes, who am I talking to?"
"I'm a nurse at St.Mungos hospital. Your contact was on the emergency list of a patient who had just been admitted."
"Who is it?"
"Pandora Rosier and her daughter Luna."
Oh.
Shit.
Shit.
What had happened? Pandora was fine, she sent a message to Regulus warning that she was arriving.
Pandora was talking to Regulus an hour ago.
Pandora
Pandora
Pandora
Pandora—
"Mr. Black you still with me?"
Regulus clears the throat. "Yes, I'm sorry. Is everything okay?"
"You'd better come here."
The line is silent. Regulus doesn't think much before picking up his forgotten coat on the coat rack next to the door, leaving like a figure towards the hospital.
…
Regulus hated hospitals. He spent much of his life locked in a room with white walls with his parents claiming that he was not well. Doctors have never been he’s friends, forcing him to take strong medicines for a fifteen-year-old child to have contact with. Much of Regulus’ adolescence was taken from him because of his parents and doctors who believe that Regulus was not a normal person.
When he left home, Regulus promised himself that he would only enter a hospital again if it was in case of life or death.
It took years for this to happen. Not even when Dorcas removed her appendix Regulus went to visit her. But now everything is different, because besides Evan, Regulus is Pandora’s only family, Luna’s only legal guardian. His family needed him at that moment, Walburga wasn’t there, Orion wasn’t there, the only people who mattered was his best friend with her daughter.
The nurse takes Regulus to paediatrics, Luna’s room was taken over by the great darkness of that winter night. The girl with her long blonde hair slept peacefully in the small hospital bed, shrunken like a baby. Her little face had some bruises, nothing very serious, but her left arm was plastered.
Poor child.
Regulus lies down next to her, taking her hand gently thinking about Pandora. Car accidents were common in January, mainly because of the snow that melted on the roads, Pandora must have lost control. Everything would be fine, shit, does Evan already know? Regulus needs to call Pandora’s brother.
If a few hours pass, Regulus naps in the chair still holding Luna’s hand when he is woken up by one of the nurses. She had a sad look.
Pandora was dead.
Regulus knew as soon as he saw the woman guiding him out of the room holding her breath, the doctor looked carefully at Regulus while he tried to assimilate everything that was happening.
“Mr. Black—“
“Just tell me.”
The doctor looks away. “We did everything we could, but— Mr. Rosier had a brain death at five and ten in the morning.”
Dead.
Dead.
Dead.
Dead.
Dead.
Dead.
Dead.
Dead.
Dead.
Dead.
Dead.
Dead.
Sweet Pandora is dead. Pandora who would never see her daughter grow up. Pandora that wiped so many tears from Regulus’ eyes. Pandora who loved to eat madeleines with coffee. Pandora who loved Evan until her last breath.
Dead.
It’s unfair.
Life is unfair.
Poor Luna.
Oh.
Luna.
What would that poor girl be? Without a mother. No father. Alone in the world without love.
What Luna would be without Pandora?
How can a child live without a mother?
“The girl. Does she have any family?”
Regulus came out of his daydreams. “I’m her godfather, and I work with Pandora’s brother.”
The doctor nodded. “I have to call social assistance, but I doubt they’ll take the girl away from you.”
“From me?”
“Pandora asked for one of the paramedics in the ambulance, before losing consciousness.” The doctor says. “For the girl stay with you.”
The world of Regulus turns.
Luna.
He would have to take care of Luna.
Alone.