What the Water Knows
James found me before I could decide whether I wanted to be found, reading the same book I have been trying to read ever since he came. It seems like he has the skill of finding me every time.
“Hungry?” he asked, grinning and standing in the open doorway, sunlight catching in his hair. He held a basket in one hand, something wrapped in cloth tucked under his arm. “I nicked some food from the kitchen. Figured we could eat outside.”
I hesitated. The words no, I’m fine sat on my tongue, tempting me but I didn’t say them.
Instead, I stood and followed him out the door silently.
The afternoon was warm, like it always does every summer here. It doesn't change, I think. The grass was soft beneath our steps as we made our way toward the lake, barefoot. I have gotten used to walking around barefoot in this place, the thing I can never do when my parents are around. James walked a little ahead, easy and unhurried, like he belonged. I kept pace behind him, watching the way the breeze caught the hem of his shirt, the way he stretched his arms over his head before dropping them again.
“Where’s Sirius?” I asked, though I wasn’t sure why I cared. Maybe I didn't care and asking him where Sirius was the only thing that will answer the question of why he had asked to be with me early in the morning.
“Dunno,” James said, shrugging his broad shoulder. “Somewhere. He’s always somewhere.” He glanced back at me over his shoulder with a soft smile. “You don’t have to worry. I didn’t drag you out here just to make you suffer through his company.”
“I’m not worried.”
James grinned. “Right. You’re never worried.”
I wanted to ask what he meant by that but he was already looking in front of him, carefully making his way closer to the lake.
We settled by the lake, where the grass sloped gently toward the water, wetter than those near the house. James grabbed a cloth from the wooden chair near the lake and carefully spread it on the grass and dropped the basket between us, pulling out bread, cheese, and a few pieces of fruit. It was a simple meal, but he unwrapped everything with the care of someone handling something finer, passing me a piece of bread without asking if I wanted it.
For a while, we ate in silence. The lake stretched out before us, its surface rippling in slow, shifting patterns. The wind skimmed the water, catching the sunlight, and making it shimmer like something half-alive. I watched the way the ripples moved outward, always reaching, always changing.
James inhaled deeply and exhaled carefully, leaning back on his hands. “Feels like a waste, doesn’t it?”
I glanced at him, confused. “What does?”
“Being inside on a day like this.” He tilted his face up toward the sky, eyes half-lidded against the light. “Summer doesn’t last forever, you know.”
I knew that better than most. It was summer when Sirius decided to leave 12 Grimmuald Place. And it was another summer that I got to spend it alone.
I saw him shifted, plucking a blade of grass and rolling it between his fingers. “You really don't talk much."
“I talk when I have something to say.”
He hummed, unconvinced, yet he nodded. “You watch, though.”
I tensed slightly, but James only smirked as if he had hit something inside me, throwing the blade of grass into the wind. It didn't soar that high, but the way it fell was graceful. “It’s not a bad thing,” he continued. “You see things other people don’t.”
I didn’t know what to make of that so I just stared at him.
James sat forward, elbows resting on his knees as he turned his eyes on me. “So, tell me. What do you see?”
I hesitated, then looked back at the lake. “The ripples,” I said, after a moment.
James followed my gaze. “Yeah?”
“They never stop moving,” I said. “Even when the surface looks still, there’s always something shifting beneath it.”
James was quiet for a long moment. Then, finally, he chuckled, the sound rumbling on his broad chest and said, “That’s poetic of you, Regulus Black.”
I scoffed, but there was no bite behind it. “It’s an observation, not poetry.”
James nudged my knee with his own, a sheepish smile plastered on his lips. “Same thing.”
I should have pulled away. I didn’t.
At some point, James stretched out beside me, lying on his back, hands folded over his stomach. His shirt had ridden up slightly, the edge of his ribs just visible where the fabric had gathered. I looked at the exposed skin for a moment too long, then turned my gaze back to the water.
“You ever swim here?” he asked lazily, his voice raspy as if he was on the verge of falling asleep.
“Once,” I admitted. “When I was younger.”
James cracked one eye open. “And?”
“And nothing,” I said. “It was just water.”
James laughed, low and easy. “Of course you’d say that.” He stretched one arm out to the side, fingers brushing the grass between us. He didn't mind that it was wet, or maybe dirty. He touches what he wants and he does it without thinking much of the consequences. “You should try it again sometime. Might change your mind.”
I didn’t respond.
The wind picked up, stirring the surface of the lake, sending another ripple outward. The sun is slowly transitioning into an afternoon light. It's beginning to burn my skin.
James turned his head toward me, voice quieter now. “You ever let yourself enjoy things, Regulus?”
His words shouldn’t have made my breath catch. But they did.
I didn’t know what to say. I always didn't know what to say to him.
The silence stretched between us, something unspoken hovering just at the edges. And then, just as I thought James might say something else, he moved—reaching for an apple from the basket, his hand brushing mine in the process.
It was barely a touch.
A brief press of warmth, there and gone.
I wanted to pull away. I should. But I remained still.
James did the same.
For a second, neither of us moved. The wind was warm against our body, the lake moved along the breeze, and somewhere in the distance, the world carried on.
Then James picked up the apple, took a bite, and leaned back against the grass like nothing had happened.
I let out a slow breath, looking away.
The ripples in the water never stopped moving.
Neither did I.