(Literally) A Stroke on Memory Lane
Remus pulls the door open, expecting to see a delivery driver or maybe one of their neighbors. Instead, he finds James standing there, holding two plastic bags of takeout like a peace offering.
“Brought food,” James says, stepping inside without waiting for an invitation.
Remus doesn’t think much of it at first. This isn’t unusual, James shows up with takeout all the time, either to escape his own thoughts or just to spend time with them. It’s routine. Easy. But the moment James places the bags on the coffee table, Remus gets a proper look at his face.
And something is wrong.
James looks exhausted. Not just in the way law school had worn him down back in the day, or how stress used to press into his shoulders, this is different. His eyes are red-rimmed, his expression hollowed out, like something inside him has been scraped raw.
Remus straightens. His heart clenches.
“Sirius!” he calls over his shoulder, already on high alert.
A beat later, Sirius’s voice drifts down from upstairs. “What?”
“Something’s wrong with Prongs.”
There’s a heavy silence, followed by the distinct sound of hurried movement. A few seconds later, Sirius appears at the top of the stairs, bare-chested, hair still damp from a shower. The tattoos gleam under the dim light, and Remus can’t help the way his stomach clenches at the sight. Fuck, his husband is so...
Then James lets out a rough sigh and throws himself onto the couch, and Remus remembers why they’re here.
He forces himself to focus. Whatever happened, it’s bad.
Sirius bounds down the stairs, eyes locked on James. “Mate?”
James drags a hand down his face. He still hasn’t said anything.
Remus moves closer, sitting beside him. “James,” he tries again, softer this time. “What happened?”
James exhales sharply and takes a photo out of his pocket. Sirius takes the Polaroid from James’s hand and gives it a quick glance. His expression remains unreadable, but when he looks at Remus, the weight behind his eyes says everything.
Remus exhales sharply through his nose, already bracing himself.
"He knows." Sirius mutters.
Remus sighs. He’s known this moment was coming since the day James first woke up in that hospital bed with no recollection of the better part of his life. He’d expected James to start digging sooner, to come looking for answers long before now. But even so, facing it head-on feels like standing on the edge of something dangerous.
Remus rummages through the takeout bags from Dragonfly, the familiar scents of food filling the living room. He thinks, if they’re going to have this conversation, he might as well do it on a full stomach. He pops open a container, offering James a plate. “Eat first, talk later?”
James shakes his head, looking sick. “I can’t. The thought of food makes me want to throw up.”
Remus shrugs, unconcerned. “More for me, then.” He takes a bite, chewing as he watches James closely.
James looks terrible, more than terrible, really. He’s gripping the fabric of his jeans like it’s the only thing keeping him anchored. He’s staring at the picture in his lap, but it’s clear his mind is a million miles away.
Then, finally, he lifts his head and turns to Sirius. His voice is hoarse when he asks, “Do you know him?”
Sirius stills. His jaw tightens just a fraction.
Remus lets out a dry chuckle, shaking his head. What a stupid question.
“Yeah,” Sirius says simply. “I know him.”
James’s eyes darken as he looks at Sirius, his grip tightening around the jeans like it might slip from his fingers otherwise. His voice is sharp when he speaks.
“So, are you going to tell me the truth, or are you just going to keep lying to me like everyone else?”
Sirius exhales heavily, dropping his broad shoulders like he’s setting down a weight he’s carried for too long. He doesn’t answer right away. Instead, he reaches into the takeout bag, rummaging through the containers until he finds what he wants. He opens it up, takes a bite, chews slowly.
Remus watches this small act of self-preservation with a mix of amusement and wariness. Sirius isn’t stalling because he doesn’t know what to say. He’s stalling because the moment he speaks, everything is going to explode.
James doesn’t seem to appreciate the delay. He glares at Sirius, nostrils flaring.
“That’s Regulus,” Sirius says, voice tight. “My little brother."
James reacts much worse than Remus had anticipated.
"Your what?!" James nearly shouts, voice sharp with disbelief.
Remus winces, eyes darting toward the walls as if he can physically sense the neighbors perking up. He clears his throat, giving James a warning look. “Mate, we have neighbors.”
“Fuck your neighbors!” James practically growls, snapping his attention back to Sirius. His expression is a mix of shock and pure, unfiltered betrayal. “What do you mean your little brother?”
Sirius remains frustratingly composed, licking sauce off his thumb before answering, “Little brother as in, we came from the same vagina, but I did it first.”
James’s glare sharpens. “I know what a little brother is,” he snaps. “I mean how the hell have you not told me this? All this time, all this time, you let me sit here and think I had never met your brother, when in reality, I not only met, I was engaged to him?!” His voice pitches slightly, veering into disbelief. “You let me talk about him like he was some stranger! You let me...”
James suddenly stops.
Remus watches as realization slams into him like a freight train.
He sees it in the way James’s mouth parts slightly, in the way his entire posture shifts from fury to something almost resembling horror. The gears in his head are turning, the puzzle pieces sliding into place, and when it finally clicks, when he finally realizes.
“Oh, fuck,” James breathes, his voice weak now. He runs a hand through his hair like he might yank it straight out.
Remus watches, delighted, as James puts it all together.
Sirius had told him his brother worked at the hospital.
James had been sitting right here, describing in agonizing detail how he was losing his mind over some gorgeous doctor he couldn’t stop thinking about, how he was drawn to him in ways he couldn’t explain, how just being near him sent his pulse racing. And Sirius, the absolute bastard, had just sat there, listening, taking it all in with that unreadable face of his.
Remus is so glad he’s not Sirius right now.
He settles back into the couch, making himself comfortable. He is not missing a second of this.
James is livid. "You knew," he says, voice tight with anger. "You knew this whole time and didn’t say anything?"
Sirius throws his hands up. "Are you mad? I’m the one who had to come to terms with the fact that my best friend was fucking my little brother!
James turns red so fast it’s almost impressive. "I didn’t... We didn’t..." he sputters. "I didn’t fuck Regulus!"
Sirius raises an eyebrow, smirking like the absolute menace he is. "Not that you remember, but trust me, mate, you two were at it every chance you got. It was insufferable. Do you know how many times I walked into a room only to find you two getting to know each other biblically? We shared a flat, James. I have PTSD."
James groans, dragging a hand down his face, his entire existence now radiating mortification. Desperate, he turns to Remus. "Aren’t you going to help me here?"
Remus, completely unbothered, takes another bite of his food and chews thoughtfully before saying, "Absolutely not. Don’t drag me into this. I wasn’t the one shagging Regulus."
Sirius scoffs. "No, but you did make out with him once."
James whips around to look at Remus, scandalized. "You made out with my Regulus?!"
Remus sighs, looking deeply regretful, not about kissing Regulus, but about the fact that this conversation is happening at all. "First of all," he says, "he’s not your Regulus. Not anymore."
James visibly flinches, but before he can dwell on it, Remus continues, "Second, it happened ages ago, before you two got together. Before Sirius even liked me."
"I’ve liked you since I was eleven, dumbass," Sirius interjects, rolling his eyes.
Remus turns to glare at him. "And this is why we’re getting off track. Again."
James takes a deep breath, dragging a hand down his face before pointing at Sirius. “Remus is right. Let’s get back to the actual topic here, which is why no one bothered to tell me I was engaged to Regulus.” His voice rises with each word, frustration spilling over. He gestures wildly with the Polaroid. “That was him, wasn’t it? All the memories, the little flashes, bits and pieces I couldn’t put together, they were all Regulus, weren’t they?”
Sirius nods slowly, his expression unreadable.
James exhales sharply. “So why didn’t you tell me?” He shakes his head, jaw tightening. “And don’t give me that I made a promise bullshit, I want the truth.”
Remus watches as Sirius hesitates, his fingers tightening around the container with his food. Then Sirius looks at him, silently asking for permission. Remus sighs, rubbing at his temple before meeting Sirius’s gaze. Finally, Remus gives a small nod. Goahead.
Sirius exhales, running a hand through his hair. “Alright,” he says. “It all started when Lily came out.”
James visibly flinches, and Remus catches the way his grip tightens around the Polaroid. His expression darkens for just a second before he schools it into something neutral, but Remus sees it, sees the hurt, the betrayal that still lingers despite the years.
“You two had been dating for two years,” Sirius continues. “But, honestly? The relationship was already strained. I guess that was the last straw. You two broke up, and after that… well, that kind of opened a door for Regulus.”
Remus hums, tapping his fingers against the armrest of the couch. “I’m not sure,” he says carefully, “but I think Regulus had a crush on you for the longest time, James. He just took the opportunity when it finally presented itself.”
James swallows hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing. He looks down at the Polaroid, thumb running over the faded edges.
Sirius nods. “Anyway. Back to the point. I don’t know who made the first move, but after the final World Cup, it was like a switch flipped. Regulus was over at our flat all the time.” He shakes his head with a small huff of laughter. “I’d come home from class or work, and there he’d be, lounging on the couch, flipping through some book, while you were in the kitchen, cooking something for the both of you.”
James presses his lips together, eyes unfocused. Remus wonders what he’s seeing. If he can remember it.
Sirius smirks, leaning back. “You wanna know how I found out you two were actually dating?”
Remus watches James tense. His shoulders go rigid like he’s bracing himself, but his voice is steady when he says, “Go on.”
Sirius smirks, clearly enjoying himself. “So, one day, I come home earlier than usual. I’m already suspicious because the flat is too quiet, and let’s be honest, when has that ever been a good sign? So, I head to the kitchen first, because, you know, priorities, but then I hear this weird thump from the living room.”
Remus watches as James frowns, already looking wary.
“I walk in,” Sirius continues, “and the first thing I see? The coffee table is knocked over, and Regulus is half-trapped underneath it, hair a mess, shirt wrinkled, looking like he just barely survived an explosion.”
James blinks, his face already heating up. “Please tell me you’re making this up.”
“Oh, it gets better,” Sirius assures him. “Because you, dear James, are over him, also a complete mess, hair sticking up worse than usual, lips swollen...”
James chokes. “Oh no.”
“And the best part?” Sirius grins. “Regulus, without missing a beat, looks up at me and says, ‘James tackled me.’”
James groans, rubbing his face.
“You did not.” Sirius leans back on the couch, looking smug. “And I know this because you, in all your panicked, guilt-ridden glory, immediately blurted out, ‘I tripped and fell on him!’”
Remus snorts into his food, thoroughly entertained.
“Which would’ve been almost believable,” Sirius says, “if you weren’t both completely flushed, if Regulus’s buttons weren’t comically undone, and if your hands weren’t still on his waist.”
James looks horrified. “You’re lying.”
“Wish I was, mate,” Sirius says cheerfully. “But you literally scrambled to your feet, nearly took the coffee table with you, and then tried to act like nothing happened.”
“It was funny,” Sirius admits, then turns to James with a smirk. “But you know what really gave it away?”
James sighs, clearly regretting everything. “Is there more to it?”
Sirius grins. “When I asked why the coffee table was knocked over, Regulus, who is the worst liar on earth, by the way, goes, ‘James was trying to teach me how to dance.’”
James gapes at him. “That’s actually… not the worst excuse.”
“Would’ve worked better if you hadn’t immediately shouted, ‘NO, I WASN’T!’”
Remus outright laughs.
James groans, burying his face in his hands. “Oh my...”
Sirius grins. “And that, James, is how I found out you were completely, ridiculously in love with my little brother."
Remus chuckles, enjoying this immensely. He takes another bite of his food as he watches James turn a spectacular shade of red.
“But after that?” Remus interjects, bringing them back to the story. “You two became inseparable.”
Sirius nods, his expression softening. “Yeah. You were happy. So happy. It was obvious to everyone.”
James is quiet, staring down at the Polaroid again. His fingers tremble slightly as he holds it, and Remus sees it, the realization that he had all of that once, and somehow, it slipped through his fingers.
James sits in silence, processing everything, before he looks up at Sirius. His voice is low, almost tired. "When did it go wrong?"
Sirius and Remus exchange a glance, the unspoken understanding between them obvious, but neither of them seems eager to answer.
Sirius lets out a breath, shaking his head. "We don't really know, James. No one really knows for sure." He shifts in his seat, his tone almost apologetic. "It felt perfect, you know? Everything was moving along smoothly, he pauses, as if searching for the right words. "Regulus graduated, and you two moved in together. It all seemed fine."
Remus chimes in, his voice casual. "You two even went on that trip to Greece, remember? Came back engaged, all smiles, like you were both on top of the world."
James frowns, shaking the Polaroid picture in his hand as though to emphasize his point. "That trip... is that the one? The trip to Greece?"
Remus and Sirius both nod in confirmation.
"Yeah," Remus says softly. "That’s the one."
Sirius leans back in his chair. "I heard Regulus didn't see that coming, though. It was a big surprise for him, from what I gathered."
Remus gives a soft nod, agreeing. "Everything seemed like it was going in the right direction, then, until you got that internship in the big law firm."
Sirius, now clearly uncomfortable, nods. "Yeah, things started to shift after that. You got caught up in work, spending more time at the office, late nights, and all that."
Remus continues, his voice laced with sympathy. "And you also had that crazy boss. The one who wouldn't leave you alone. She was... wild. Way too handsy."
James doesn’t say anything. He just makes a face, one of clear distaste, as if the memory of her has resurfaced.
Sirius adds, "Yeah, I remember. She was all over you. Made Regulus really tense."
Remus picks up the thread, his tone softer now. "And then the arguments started. They piled up, one after the other. Small things at first, but then everything just... exploded."
James swallows hard, looking between them. "Is that how Regulus... broke up with me?"
Remus shakes his head gently. "Not yet, James. Not yet."
Sirius looks at James, his expression somber. "Regulus had himself convinced that you were cheating on him. That was the thing. He... couldn’t shake it, you know? He is pretty stubborn. Once he has something in his head..." Sirius trails off, a small frown appearing on his face.
James's eyes widen as he looks from Sirius to Remus, his voice shaky. "Was I cheating? Is that what happened?"
Sirius and Remus exchange another look. Remus shrugs, glancing at Sirius, and finally, Sirius speaks. "We don’t know, James. We were on our honeymoon when everything went down. It all went to hell before we could get back."
Remus watches James carefully, noticing the subtle shift in his expression as Sirius continues.
Sirius clears his throat before speaking again, his voice quiet. “We don’t know everything, but what we do know is that one night, you and Regulus had a massive fight. You two were stressed, stressed about work, about everything. And you threw a picture of your engagement onto the floor. The frame shattered. All over the place. I don’t think Regulus had ever seen you like that.”
James’s face freezes, his eyes distant. Remus can tell that the memory is starting to surface, that he’s seeing that moment in his head. It’s like the room goes still, and James’s fingers twitch like he wants to touch something, maybe to ground himself.
Sirius shifts in his seat, watching James with a mixture of pity and frustration. “Regulus told us you were mad, James. Really mad. You told him you were going to leave him. And then... you left. You just walked out.”
James blinks, his jaw tightening. “I left?”
Sirius nods, his expression growing more somber. “Yeah, you did. No one knew where you went, the next thing we knew, Remus and I were on a flight back home because you were unconscious in the hospital.”
The room goes quiet as the weight of Sirius’s words sinks in. Remus watches James closely, his eyes glued to his face, searching for any sign that he’s truly processing this. He doesn’t look at either of them; he just stares straight ahead, his hands clenched at his sides.
James finally speaks, his voice rough. “That... that was the accident. The one that made me forget everything.”
Remus watches as James’s expression shifts again, confusion, pain, realization, all flickering in his eyes. It’s like everything is falling into place, but it’s all too much for him to handle at once. Remus feels his chest tighten, wanting to reach out but knowing better.
James turns to him, desperation in his eyes. “Does that mean... I was engaged to Regulus? That we were together? That we were... in love when the accident happened?”
Remus nods slowly, his heart heavy. “Yeah."
James doesn’t say anything for a long moment. His gaze flickers back to Sirius, and the silence in the room feels unbearable. When he speaks again, his voice is barely a whisper. “Why didn’t anyone tell me? Why didn’t you tell me? I thought... I thought Regulus and I were done long before that.”
Sirius shifts uncomfortably in his seat. Remus glances at him, and then back at James. There’s a heavy tension in the air, and he knows how difficult this is for all of them.
“We couldn’t tell you,” Sirius says quietly, his voice tight. “Regulus made a decision, James. When you woke up... he believed that if you’d lost your memory, it would be the best thing for you. He thought you would be free. Free to be with the person you loved, without all the... baggage. He decided to move on, to let you go.”
James’s face pales, and Remus can see how much that stings, even now. It’s like he can feel the weight of Regulus’s decision hanging in the air. It wasn’t just about the accident. It was about what came after.
“He made us promise,” Sirius continues, his voice almost strained. “He made us promise that no one would ever mention him to you. He thought it would hurt less. For you. For both of you.”
James’s breath hitches. His hand goes to his head, his fingers brushing against his temple. Remus notices the way his expression shifts again, like he’s trying to fight off something. He doesn’t know if it’s the pain from his memories, or the weight of everything that’s just come to light.
“James...” Remus starts, his voice soft, concerned.
James doesn’t respond. His eyes are unfocused, distant, like he’s trying to process everything all at once. It’s too much. And Remus can’t help but feel for him, for the person who’s stuck in the middle of all this, unable to remember the most important parts of his life.
Remus leans forward slightly, his voice steady. “James, your head... You’ve been through a lot. You don’t have to process all of this right now.”
James’s hand falls from his head, but his expression doesn’t change. Remus watches him carefully, trying to figure out how to comfort him, when suddenly James speaks again, his voice cracked.
“Regulus thought... I was better off forgetting? He really thought that?”
Sirius nods, his face a mixture of regret and frustration. “Yeah. He did. And to be fair, he thought he was doing it for you.”
Remus exhales, his heart heavy for both of them. They were all just doing the best they could, but the fallout had left them all broken in some way.
“I didn’t want to forget,” James says quietly, looking at them both with wide eyes. “I didn’t want any of this. I just wanted... to remember. To know the truth.”
And Remus just watches him, wishing he could fix it all, wishing that the truth wasn’t so painful, but knowing that James would have to face it sooner or later. It’s never easy, but it’s the only way to move forward.