Stars In Balance

“Please tell me if you have one good reason why I shouldn’t send more guards to you in Imladris?”

Well Gilriant had been planning on talking to Thranduil about the whole incident when they came back for a family dinner. The King had just had Hedwig bring him a day early. She dropped him off and immediately teleported out. While he was sure Haldir and Legols would be brought there soonish, apparently Thranduil wanted to talk to him alone first. Possibly to catch him off guard. Which meant it was entirely possible someone informed him of the incident. The young elf wanted to talk to him face to face, in part because he could and secondly so the King could see for himself that everyone was fine. At least they were in the personal office and not the throne room.

“Because I can only evacuate so many so quickly and if we get overwhelmed again someone’s going to get hurt.” Thranduil just looked at him, clearly waiting for more. “Hedwig will reach her full maturity shortly, but even then she’s young as far as phoenixes go. Which means she can only transport so many people in a short time frame. Fawkes while a much older and much more powerful phoenix still has limitations.” When the King continued to remain silent Gilriant offered, “I did have Legolas evacuated first, If that helps at all.” He could see a muscle flex in Thranduil’s job so apparently that didn’t help entirely.

“Why am I just finding out about this now?” While Thranduil’s voice was overly calm, the calm that said why yes this person is very upset. “Because I wanted to tell you myself, so you could see that yes everyone was okay. Leoglas didn’t even have a scratch on him. Okay Tindil apparently sat on him to make sure he didn’t try and get back to me but he’s made of magic so I’m pretty sure that didn’t do anything but keep him safe.” The King exhaled. “I care about you getting hurt as well, you do realize this, yes?”

“I think that I proved that I can survive pretty much anything. Yes there are consequences and it takes a lot out of me but a little rest and I’m good to go.” Thranduil eyed him, “You do realize your personal guards are there to protect you, not the other way around.” “I’ve already had too many people die for me in my first life.” Gilriant kept his voice steady, but that was an old deep wound. One that wasn’t likely to heal completely anytime soon. Thinking about it too much could still make his hands shake. “I’m not sure I could handle it happening again.”

Something on Thranduil’s face softened and he got up from his chair. He approached Gilriant and much to the young elf’s surprise drew him into a hug. Slightly stiff, but yes still a hug. “You are making it rather difficult for me to be angry. I was never good at handling tears when someone I cared about was upset.” The older elf murmured softly. Until that point he hadn’t realized he had shed any.

It was much more difficult for him to hide his emotions as an elf. Even when he remembered to practice occlumency, the elves just felt everything so deeply. With their souls and bodies tied so tightly together, it made it much more difficult to repress emotions. The older elves certainly had excellent poker faces when they wanted to. He was still learning. Sure he could push them aside if he absolutely needed to. But after Elrond worked with him to show that expressing emotions was healthy, he never fully regained that skill he aquired from living with the Dursleys. Apparently the deep-seated fear that he was only one odd occurrence away from being rejected had yet to heal completely. Yet the comment from Thranduil was oddly reassuring and he slowly hugged the older elf back.

After a moment Thranduil drew back to study his face. “While I am upset that you were hurt and about the delay in getting the information, I did not intend to upset you. My wife was always better suited to dealing with these kinds of situations. I did not want to learn how, because that would be admitting she was gone.” Gilriant looked at him wide-eyed as he shared that bit of information with him. “I suppose some of the delay with you personally returning to share the information was your family.” Thranduil sniffed. “You would think they would have better manners than that.”

Gilriant managed a smile as Thranduil guided him over to sit in a chair. Now his emotions were all over the place. He definitely was not expecting to deal with any of this today. It was obvious that Thranduil was trying his best and changing tactics. He couldn’t imagine most others would be treated with understanding. That was proof that the King really did care about him and his well being. “Feeling better?” At the question the young elf nodded. “Good, then you can explain more before your Haldir and my son show up to help you creatively share it.”

At that, Gilriant had to laugh.

*

TA 2609

Fawkes was carefully preening his feathers as Gilriant eyed him. For some reason the fire phoenix was molting. The feathers that were coming in were somehow even more vivid and flashy. Which was quite the trick considering the fact that his feathers already were eye-catching and reminiscent of fire. Now they had sheen and sparkle to them that only intensified the similarity of living flame. The question was why was this happening now?

Quite honestly he really didn’t want to think too much about it. Instead he was going to focus on cleaning up the dust and sorting through the shed feathers. The small ones would all go into braiding supplies. The largest and most perfect for fancy quills. Though he might keep a few for arrows. It would be interesting to see if they amplified any of the affects his arrowheads had.

Hedwig had her freezing day a short time ago. So he would have some feathers from her as she rapidly grew and molted. Over the years her cycle had slowly eased back so that this year by the time they reached Spring Equinox she would be fully regrown. This year also marked a century of them being in Ea. Sometimes it felt like barely anytime at all had passed. Others like he’d lived a lifetime in experiences, love, and joy. So he was planning something to celebrate it the morning of the solstice. Though he was going to have to take his outfit to Arwen and Celebrian for a few updates based on Fawkes’ flashier colors. At least they would be very vivid. .

“Fawkes is looking rather different.” Haldir was observing the feather sorting with a small smile. “Yes.” Of course he was going to bring this up. “Any idea why?” Gilriant gave Haldir a look. “A couple of possibilities. Some of which I don’t really want to think about so I’m going to just wait and see what happens. It could just be that he reached another milestone in his life, I don’t know exactly how old he is, just old.”

“So is that what you are hoping for or just what you are going with at the moment?”

“Yes.”

“Somehow I am not surprised that’s your response.”

*

“Arwen, Celebrian!” Flustered, Gilriant moved to find his niece and sister in law. Apparently they had heard him as they were coming down the hall. “What is it?” His niece reached him first. “Do you think we have time to add some deep blue accents to the clothes?” A small frown formed on her face as she considered. “We’ll likely have to do it ourselves, the tailor already made the other changes you wanted. Why do you have more?”

Celebrian was close enough to hear what was said. Her gaze went to the ice phoenix Gilriant was cradling. “Oh! Well look at you Lady Hedwig, what a pretty color to add to your feathers.” Arwen’s gaze dropped to the bird and understanding crossed her features. She could see the deep blue edge to the wing feathers that were coming in. “Oh, now I understand. Is this because she’s reaching the century mark?” He huffed, “I think so. phoenixes were rare even back in my first world. I can’t exactly say for sure.”

Hedwig gave a cheerful trill. “Well of course you are gorgeous. It just means that I need to make some adjustments.”

“I have an idea, what if we use jewelry to add it in. You already have your pendant and we can just do a little adjusting. We can add to your braids and I think I know just the circlet.” Celebrian suggested with a bright smile. “Well, I’ll be colorful and decked out Noldo style, might as well go for it.” Gilriant flashed a smile. “Thank you, that’s a much better idea.”

*

The night sky was starting to give way to the paler light of dawn, though the sun had not yet breached the horizon. Still visible was a pale image of the moon hanging in the night sky, having not yet reached its harbor. Despite the early hour the people of Imladris were stirring. The equinoxes were important to their prince. This one in particular was a celebration of a very special anniversary. Though it hadn’t been expressly stated a special celebration would be starting before dawn’s first light, word had spread. Those both curious and wanting to celebrate with Gilriant. So they started their day early. Quiet and ready, leaving the path clear to the center of the city, in an open area that held the Wiggentree.

The young elf was paced by a shining Hallows and Tindil, the latter having the two phoenixes perched on his antlers. In his hands his first violin, the one his Atya gave him. He wore the new clothing, in the style that was neither masculine or feminine but both. The base of the overrobe was a pure white, one that matched the majority of the feathers of the ice phoenix. Golden and silver threads that shimmered through and embroidery that would gleam when the light hit it along the edges and cuffs. Underneath bright red leggings with accents of oranges that suggested the shapes of flames. Hair braided back with lapis lazuli stones and a delicate circlet sitting in place with the same stone in the center. Dawn was nearing when he reached the open area they held celebrations in. The main floor that was kept clear, empty and waiting for him.

From Tindil’s antlers Hedwig launched herself in the sky. As much as she was a phoenix now, she started her life as a snowy owl. They were ones that were diurnal, and could be most active at dawn and dusk. While post owls were bred to also be awake during the day, her breed had been especially suited to it. In the low light the new blue tips to her wing and tail feathers looked very dark. Once the light hit them though they would shine a brilliant blue.

As she started to fly, Gilriant put his violin under his chin and started to play. This song was for Hedwig and for his beginnings. She was a hunter, a protector, and a beloved companion. Perhaps she was the first true gift he ever received but she was also his first friend. Hedwig didn’t have to treat him like her chick. Yet for whatever reason she had looked at an too small scrawny eleven year old boy and decided he was hers.

The sky was lightening as he played and she dove and flew through the air. Circling around him and up again sky dancing around him even as he moved to the music. The strings sang with the remembered moments. There were ones that were beautiful, there were also ones that were a fight. He was hunted, and hunted in turn. They both remembered their beginnings, what they had gone through together, and what it all meant. There was struggle, but there was also triumph. This is what came before and it had been endured and overcome. Both in a fashion had been reborn.

The sun was starting to crest the horizon when the music shifted. Hedwig came in for a landing and Fawkes burst into the sky. The sun’s rays gleaming off the shining colors of his feathers. While the song started soft, reaching and flowing the fire phoenix had no issues diving right into acrobatics. He was the far more experienced flier and had no issue showing off.

The two had their own kind of relationship. Distant if friendly at first, but when he needed help in a time of grave danger Fawkes showed up. Fighting a deadly creature so he could survive. Healing a wound so he would not die. Since they arrived here he had always been a good friend. Watching over his Atya for Gilriant. Yes also causing some chaos and mischief but always there when needed. Always ready to help. Full of energy, life, and joy that they shared.

By now the sun was well into the sky when Hedwig leapt back into the sky to fly with Fawkes.
Gilriant started playing for himself. For the child that was left with people that would put him down and tell him he was no good. Yet within him was all the potential to become what he was now. It took work, yes but also the belief that he could do it. Sure some people had put him up on pedestal, only to turn on him when he didn’t match what they thought he should be.

Still inside him waiting was all the things he could be. All the power, all the possibilities, he just needed to keep going. To not let the setbacks and struggles keep him from trying. He would never forget the fight that was the very first part of his life. It was part of what forged him into who he was today. He would never forget the pain that he endured or the feeling of being trapped, until he finally broke free. Around and around in the air the phoenix flew, light flashing off their wings as their song joined with his. Shared his moments of triumph. Of hope and the promise of what could come.

There was a beat of silence, and then he smiled as he flowed into the next song. A celebration of what he had found and had now. Love, that is what they found. Love of a father, of a family, of friends and people that supported and believed in them. A place they belonged and one that needed them. They would embrace all that this world held for them, and all that they had chosen to do.

The light of the risen sun brought out the now red sheen to their hair as they continued to play. Moving yes, but somehow more gentle yet strong. They focused on all the varied parts of their new world and life. Yes there were challenges, even danger. They still held fears but true bravery was not an absence of fear. It was being afraid but still moving forward. It was knowing that getting through it you had the support and love of those you cared about. Above all the peace and hope that this new life brought their soul. In the end they had no doubt they could do all they needed to, in this life that they had embraced.

Hope, home and love. That is what they found. That is what they were celebrating. That is why their feathered friends skydanced above them around them. There was such beauty in this place, in the people, in their dreams and lives. This is what they lived for. Not just survived, or existed, but they were truly living.

They stood still when the final song ended, just feeling everything the music invoked. The audience of elves were quiet and smiling. Celebrain was leaning into Elrond who had his arm around her waist, resting his cheek against her temple. The twins bracketed their sister, all with warm smiles on their faces. Lindir with an arm around Mellessin holding her close as she cradled Aliramdir. Erestor of course there, just without any books, notes, or lists of tasks needing to be done. Haldir and Legolas flanked by Hallows and Tindel. Of course all of their guards, Glorfindel standing with Maglor whose eyes were bright and shining even as he smiled.

Maglor moved forward as they lowered the violin and wrapped them up in a hug. When they started to carefully close their arms around their Atya, Haldir stepped up to take the violin and bow. That way Faircoivar could fully embrace their father. “We’ve come a long way, haven’t we Atya?” The bard pulled back and smiled. “We have and I am so proud of you. I feel very lucky that you let me be your father.”

“I’m the lucky one.” Faircoivar looked beyond Maglor to their family and friends and those that had gathered there to listen. “I have all of you. Thank you for being my family, my friends, my teachers and protectors. I hope all of you will celebrate with me today, this day of balance and the anniversary of my arrival to Ea.” There was laughter and cheers as people moved forward to share their joy with them.

*

Cheerful trilling and the repeated sound of one of the phoenixes teleporting in and out of the room dragged Gilriant out of his rest. Haldir was already up, and apparently had been drafted by Hedwig to help sort . . . sticks? The furniture had been rearranged with a long side table now having one end in the corner and the length of it flush against the wall. There was an obvious pile of rejected material to one side of the floor and the ice phoenix was carefully going over everything. “What is going on?” The archer shot him an amused look. “I’m helping, apparently.”

Gilriant’s face scrunched in confusion, still trying to process what he was seeing. “Helping with what?” He knew better than to ask if it was helping with making a mess. He did not want an offended Hedwig, especially not this early in the morning. There was a laugh out of Haldir. “Come now, I think you should be able to recognize this. Especially considering everything that has been going on with those two.” Sliding out of bed the young elf moved to grab his hairbrush in order to quickly braid his hair back partially to give himself time to fully wake up and think.

Mentally going over everything that had been going on with Hedwig - wait Haldir said those two. It was spring, Hedwig had reached full maturity as a phoenix and Fawkes had molted into those flashier plumage. His eyes widened. “Hedwig, are you building a nest?” She cheerfully trilled at him before going back to selecting just the right stick for her nest. “Right, okay. I’m going to get dressed for the day and see if I can’t find a few things to help.” He started towards the wardrobe only to stop and put the hairbrush in his hand by Hedwig. If she wanted any of his hair for her nest, better to give her the brush to pick out what she wanted. Better than her deciding to take it from his head.

Once he was appropriately clothed he moved to the sitting room to look through their books. “Atya, we do have the book from Newt Scamander, yes?” Maglor looked over from where he was seated with a cup of tea. “Yes, Elladan likes reading about the different creatures sometimes so it should be on the first bookshelf.” Shifting in the indicated direction Gilriant looked until he found the correct book. “Ah good yes, thank you.” Bringing it over to the table he flipped through it until he found the section on phoenixes.

“Is everything okay?” Maglor’s voice held a note of concern when he noted the subject. “Yes, I think so. Just wanted to see if there was anything helpful.” The bard lifted an eyebrow. “Helpful for what?” Gilriant glanced over at his father before going back to the book. “Hedwig is apparently building a nest.” Maglor set his cup down. “Truly?” The young elf nodded as he gave the book a frown. “Phoenixes nesting was a rare event, so not much is known. The only one Newt was aware of was in the middle of a lava field because fire phoenixes were the most common kind.” Gilriant rubbed a hand over his face, “So we are going to have to wing it and hope Fawkes knows some things.”

Cheerful trilling and the sound of Haldir’s laugh came from Gilriant’s bedroom. He looked over there and just shook his head slightly. “I’m sure I’ll find out about that soon but I’d better go get something for her nest before I go back in there.” Maglor tilted his head, “You think she would be upset if you don’t?” The young elf smiled, “She is my oldest friend and I’m fairly certain she considers me her chick. Family helps family, so yes I need to get something.”

At that he headed out into the main areas of the family wing. Spotting Celebrian and Arwen walking together, Gilriant gave them a bright smile. “Ah, two of my favorite ladies. Out of curiosity, do you know where in Imladris I could get some clean wool?” His sister-in-law gave him a surprised look. “The spinners and weavers should have some we can go check. What do you need it for?” The young elf realized he would likely be repeating this many times today. “Hedwig is building a nest.”

Elrohir emerged from his room, “Did I hear that right? Hedwig is nest building?” Gilriant inclined his head. “If you would like to bring her an offering, I would say if you can find anything suitable from the wiggentree that would be appreciated. His nephew nodded, “Got it, I’ll get Dan and we’ll see what we can find.” Arwen was almost bouncing with excitement, “Oh, we’ll have to find her the best of the wool.” She looked past him, “Ada did you hear?” Elrond strolled into sight. “I did, I will go fetch some breakfast shall I? She’ll need to eat properly.” Trust a healer to be concerned with that.

Celebriana and Arwen happily helped him find a good supply of carded wool. Hedwig was well known and as soon as the elves heard why, they insisted he take the best of it and even gave him a large basket of it. Word was going to spread rapidly about this. On their way back Arwen stopped to grab some ribbons in case Hedwig wanted to decorate her nest. Knowing her, she probably would enjoy that. In fact when they ran into legolas, Gilriant suggested he stop by the tailors to see if they had some nice extra fabric they were not using.

Gilriant was already resigned to the fact his bedroom was going to be very popular by the time he got back. His Atya was absent from their sitting room, possibly going to find something as well. When he entered his bedroom he found the probable reason for Haldir’s laugh earlier. “Fawkes! Did you steal Thranduil’s crown?!?” There in a prominent place on the back corner of the nest a very recognizable branch like crown had been set. Already with a few items woven to it to help make it part of the nest. Celebrian’s bright laugh next to him was joined by Hedwig’s cheerful trill. “Yes I know that it looks great there, but you don’t just take someone’s crown.”

It was probably futile to argue with them about it, but he was going to have to write a letter and make Fawkes carefully approach Thranduil with it. Moving to the table he set down the basket by Hedwig. “We got this for your nest. Once you have the main part built I thought you would like to add it to the center.” He pointed a finger at Haldir, “You should not be encouraging him, I heard the laugh. Who knows what he’ll try and grab next.” Unrepentant, the marchwarden just smiled. The fire phoenix trilled at him and Gilriant did his best to resist the urge to facepalm. “Yes I think that Hedwig deserves the best, but you need to ask before taking off with personal property, especially something like that. So you wait here, I’m writing an apology and explanation on your behalf.”

He found what he needed in the sitting room and was back swiftly. “Remember the rules and give this to Thranduil. Wait to see if he wants to send a response back with you.” With an agreeing trill Fawkes took it and teleported out. Gilriant turned his attention to the others that had started to filter in with their offerings. While a part of him felt a bit of regret about the fact this was happening in his bedroom, it didn’t erase the smile on his face as he could see how happy she was. Bossing around the elves bringing her things was definitely a bonus to her. He would also be a part of everything. That she wanted him to do so certainly made him feel warm inside.

It didn’t take long for the fire phoenix to return with a small package and a letter. He passed the package over to Haldir as he opened the letter. Reading it, Gilriant chuckled. “Well Thranduil does not want the crown back. He does give Hedwig his condolences for having to deal with Fawkes and says that if he doesn’t treat you like a queen he’s going to pluck him bald and dump him in an ice bath.” He looked over to the male phoenix who had had his crest fully fluffed up. It could be equal parts a reaction from the idea that he wouldn’t treat Hedwig correctly to the threat itself. “Apparently he added something for Hedwig’s nest.”

Haldir pulled out a long silver and white scarf from the package. Gilriant stared at it a moment. “This is going to be one interesting nest.”