Finding Home
It was a peaceful day in Imladris. The mood upbeat as their prince would be home soon. Not likely to be today but still they had riders keeping an eye out as they patrolled the borders. While he had been back for visits, for this time it would be at least a couple of years, hopefully more. Gilriant was much loved by the community.
The tranquility was broken by a burst of snowflakes and fire in the courtyard. Hedwig launched upwards from Haldir and Fawkes from his perch on the saddle of Legolas’s mount. An orange cat burst out of the woodland prince’s saddlebags. Legolas quickly sheathed his weapon and slid free from his saddle as he worked on calming his horse. The phoenixes flared out of sight as the pair gave them an anxious look. “Why didn’t they take Gilriant first?” The elven prince’s bewildered voice questioned. The marchwarden didn’t answer, his lips pressed together in a thin line.
The twin elemental bursts returned, and the phoenixes launched themselves off another pair of saddles from Ferdil and Erecthel. The latter had upset rattling coming from her saddlebags even as she tried to calm her steed. The commotion attracted attention and shouts, Elrond appearing on the balcony and then swiftly making his way to the courtyard. “What’s happened?” Haldir pressed a hand to the center of his chest. “We were ambushed, more orcs than I could easily count.” The aforementioned familiars were trilling their distress, Hedwig’s normal glow noticeably subdued as the two circled above. They spiraled around and then finally teleported out again.
Elrond immediately moved to Haldir. “Are you injured?” The marchwarden shook his head. “No.” Legolas shook his head negatively as well. Snowflakes and flames heralded the arrival of Amathleg and Roitaro, looking decidedly unhappy. They dropped their weapons in favor of calming their horses, rather than sheathing them in their current state. While dropping their weapons was poor treatment of them, the horses came first.
The marchwarden took one look at Hedwig’s dimmed state and rushed to scoop up the ice phoenix before she slid off the saddle she was perched on. He cradled his bonded’s familiar, checking her over as she gave a distressed cry. “It’s okay, you did your best. You are exhausted now.” She continued to make distressed sounds even as she let him cuddle her. Fawkes shook out his feathers before launching in the sky, circling the group before disappearing in a burst of flames.
The next burst of flames heralded the arrival of Gonben, who was visibly upset and cursing. “He’s refusing to leave before the rest of us are evacuated.” Looking distressed by that, Legolas moved to approach Fawkes. The fire phoenix launched into the air before the elven prince could reach him, circling the group with a sad cry. “He won’t listen to you, not over what Gilriant asks of him.” Haldir explained in a stricken tone. Arwen had rushed up and he carefully relinquished Hedwig to her. Every now and then he struggled to suppress a twitch.
“You can’t make him take you back, he won’t.” The marchwarden reached to put a restraining hand on Legolas’s shoulder. The woodland prince stared at Haldir, as if unable to comprehend the words he said. When the Lothlorien archer winced, almost doubling over, Legolas’ expression morphed into full alarm as he reached to catch Haldir. “It’s not me. I am not the one injured.” Fawkes vanished once again in a ball of flames. At this point the disruption had attracted many, including Maglor who rushed out. He looked at the group that had been delivered and paled. “Where is my son?”
The arrival of Maethel with a fire phoenix that was starting to dim was his answer. The captain of the prince’s personal guard visibly slumped when she took in the space around her. “No, no! I told him not to leave himself for last.”Shakily she slid off her horse, which thankfully was calming from its unorthodox trip. “He told me as long as Haldir was free and safe, so was he.” There was a ripple of dismay in the crowd when Hallows appeared in front of Haldir, and Tindill by Legolas. The marchwarden reached for the moon-bright wolf, Legolas helping him ease to his knees as to more easily embrace her.
Fawkes reappeared, alone, above their heads trilling his distress. Haldir inhaled, leaning into the wolf, at the same time Elrond paled, “He’s muffling his bonds.” Legolas looked back and forth before a determined expression set on his face. He moved towards his horse with obvious intent on getting back up in the saddle, only to be intercepted by Tindil. “No! I need to go help him.” Ignoring the protest, Tindil continued to herd the elven prince away from the horses. “Aren’t you supposed to protect him?” He shouted at the deer.
“No Legolas, their job is not to protect him.” The surprise of Haldir’s statement allowed Tindil to gently knock the elven prince off balance. Legolas flailed but fell to the ground, and the deer’s legs folded under him, partially over and on top of the elven’s prince’s legs, pinning him down. Elrond moved to check that he took no damage from the fall, before moving to the marchwarden’s side when he sucked in a breath. The twins took their father’s place by Legolas, making sure he was okay. Fawkes descended triling sadly as Maglor caught him, Glorfindel wrapped around the bard to support both.
“We have to, have to trust what Gilriant told me.” Haldir looked to Elrond, eyes full of pain. “What did he tell you?” The marchwarden’s hands were fisted in the wolf’s fur. “What Maethel said. He also told me once before that one day he might need to send me away.”
“We can put together a rescue party.” Glorfindel’s voice was determined, even as Haldir shook his head. “You can try but we were too far away from Imladris to reach him in time. We have to have faith.” At his words Tindil’s antlers started to shine brightly and Hallows started to glow. “I am his anchor,” Haldir breathed. “He will come back to me.”
*
The wraith sped across the land, headed straight to the beacon that could be felt within their mind. It spoke of belonging, and love. Holding fast to that helped the power that rippled through him remain mostly contained. It restrained itself to only burning off any corruption that remained. The wolves that ran it their sides absorbing any excess that drifted from them. So they kept moving, far faster than any mortal shell could. Though they could not tell you how long it took. Nor could they say how much time had passed since the beginning of the fight. They could only follow the pull.
They were getting close, they could feel it, but there was a barrier in the way. They stopped to study it, watching the power that flowed around and protected the land. Oh they could cross it if they wanted to. There is nothing in it that could prevent them from crossing. However, if they crossed the barrier in their current state their energy might disrupt it. Which could cause a backlash onto its caster. Which, they didn’t want to do. They knew they didn’t want to harm the one that created the barrier, even if they didn’t know why they felt this way. They could also feel their own energy in the land the barrier protected. So it was a good thing and it should be kept. But, what they needed was inside the barrier. A conundrum.
As they stood and contemplated the barrier the wolves circled around them. Continuing to help absorb any excess energy they gave off. They reached out a hand, one careful finger hovering close to the barrier. Maybe they could tap on it? After a moment's contemplation they retracted the hand. Best not. Though it seemed the wolves might have an idea. Four shot off in the direction of what belonged to them. The other two sat on their haunches and tipped their heads towards the sky as they howled. A summoning cry, calling what belonged with them to them. Very clever wolf friends they had indeed.
Since the wolves were taking care of that issue they resumed their contemplation of the barrier. An interesting interplay of power and song. They didn’t need to touch it to see how it was layered. It would appear to be created by one person. Yet there were elements woven in that caught their attention. Love, family, friends, protection, hope, purity, and more. There was also this odd little thread running through it that they had difficulty understanding. Everytime they got close it seemed to almost flee. Odd that.
The pair of wolves that stayed with him ceased their howling and turned their attention to the sound of hoofbeats. Ones that had not come from the direction their wolves had run towards. Perhaps a patrol of some sort whose attention was caught? The wraith turned to look, spotting the elves on horseback approaching. The group halted a short distance away. There was something familiar about them. Especially the two that had identical appearances. Curious they drifted in that direction only to have some of them aim arrows in their direction.
Did these elves think they were a threat? The wraith retreated a step as the two wolves that remained with them put themselves between the elves and the wraith. There was some sort of argument amoung the elves and the bows were lowered. Still this was concerning, should the elves be afraid of them? They really didn’t like that idea. A stalemate, the elves weren’t making any threatening moves, but the wolves didn’t seem inclined to allow them any closer.
Flames and snowflakes had the wraith looking up at the two beautiful birds that had appeared. Their song made them feel warmth, hope and happiness. All good things. Turning to try and watch their flight they felt the grass crunch under them. Looking down they realized their power had caused damage to the living plants they stood on. Oh, maybe they were a danger to living. Not their wolves, their wolves seemed fine. But possibly other things. They pulled their scythe close into their body and tried to think. There was information there, they knew it. Just everything was fuzzy and difficult to sort though. Like pieces of them were missing, or perhaps blocked. Blocked, that meant something important. The longer they stayed this way the more confusing it was. There were things they should know, yet struggled to remember.
A flash of white streaking towards them caught their attention and they turned in its direction. Another wolf, its coat completely white, with an elf on its back. A black deer with shining antlers racing besides them. This was not one of the wolves that traveled with them yet it felt familiar. Something about it and the elf that was with it called to them. This was someone important, they knew it. Hesitantly they took a step in this elf’s direction. Only to stop at the increase in noise from all of the elves. Especially the four new ones that were approaching on the back of their returning wolves.
They backpedaled at the increase in noise, concerned that they were being seen as a threat. How could they show that they were not? Oh! They were holding a weapon, what if they dropped the scythe to show they did not mean to use it? Shifting it to the side of them, they let it fall to the ground. As they did so, wisps of the silver-gray power detached from it. By the time it hit the ground it was no longer a scythe, but a shining glaive. Oh, that’s right, that was their weapon most of the time. Just for some reason it was not the right one for this form.
Wait, if that was the proper weapon most of the time, perhaps they were not supposed to be in this form? Perhaps that is why the elves were alarmed? But how to fix it? How to fix it without hurting everyone? They continued to slowly back away.
Rador
They stopped at the name that echoed inside them. The elf on the white wolf had dismounted and was walking towards them, flanked by that white wolf and the dark deer. There were others approaching too but the wolves that traveled with them circled, only allowing this elf to get close. This one elf that felt like . . . warmth and love and home. This elf was important, they knew that in every fiber in their being. This elf was reaching towards them, both mentally and with a hand as they slowly advanced. The wraith looked down at the dead plants that had been harmed under their feet. They could not allow that to happen to this elf.
Rador, you won’t hurt me. You are mine and I am yours, remember?
Yes, this elf was theirs. Was their hope and love and home. They knew that. Which is why possibly hurting them was unthinkable.
You will not hurt me. You cannot harm me. Believe it.
The elf was not forcing contact, merely offering it. They stood in front of them, hand held out, waiting. This elf believed in them, so they would believe in this elf. Slowly they reached out and carefully clasped their hand.
Immediately they felt a strong pull. As if all their energy that had spun out was gathering back in. Solidifying, wrapping around their soul and core. Encasing that which was dangerous to the living, with what was safe. A mortal shell that housed their inner being. They were an elf, mostly. The one that called them back was their anchor. The one that kept them in check and kept them tied to middle earth. The one that could always bring them back, no matter what else happened. A faint trickle of awareness diverted to shifting the wraith garments to a simple gray tunic and leggings. Best to have some sort of covering they decided.
They were not a wraith. They were Rador, the one that finds a way. To others they were Faircoivar, Gilriant and Tauriel. This was their family that approached, their friends and loved ones. Those who knew them first as Gilriant. The star crowned gift that came home from another world. And the one that brought them back to themselves was, “ . . . Haldir.”
The marchwarden caught them as they slumped forward, others rushing close as the starlight wolves no longer barred their path. Tired.” Haldir shifted them in his arms, holding them close. “Then rest, I have you.” They closed their eyes, trusting their bonded to get them home.
*
Faircoivar found themselves standing in some fancy stone gazebo on what looked like a mountain top. Spread around them in every direction were hills and valleys. Rivers breaking up the forests, fields and even in some places the gray of stone mountains that speared up towards the sky. A faint breeze played with their hair as they studied the view.
“I do approve of the collection of names you have acquired.”
Turning around they saw a very androgynous figure dressed in a charcoal gray tunic and leggings, seated at a table. It had a full tea service as well as plates of desserts. The dark haired dark eyed stranger was pouring a cup of tea which they set by the other seat. “Please join me.”
Lifting an eyebrow they did as bid. “Thank you. My family has good taste, the one I picked out was impulse based.” Accepting the milk they added some before stirring in a small amount of sugar. Lifting the cup to their lips they tasted one of their favorite blends of tea, from England. Hermoine had introduced them to it, oh so long ago. Closing their eyes, they savored the flavor and the warm memories that went hand in hand with the taste. “Thank you for that.” The entity smiled, “You are quite welcome.”
“So, should I address you as Death or do you have another name that you prefer?” The being gave them a slow smile. “Death is fine. I knew you would figure it out.”
“Well the tea is a rather large giveaway. No one from Ea other than Atya would know it.” Faircoivar pointed out with a small smile. Reaching for a chocolate chip scone they added it to the plate that sat by them. “While this could just be a dream, it doesn’t feel like it. It feels closer to one of my dream-walks but different.” Death inclined their head. “Very true and well reasoned. You’ve developed that ability quite nicely by the way. Did you realize Irmo isn’t assisting you at all any more?” That made them pause. “He isn’t?”
“Not for some time. You’ve been controlling that all on your own.”
“Huh, though I don’t think that’s why you brought me here for a chat. Since you haven’t shown up before now.”
Death just gave them the same slow smile as before. “It could be, it's not like it is easy for me to reach you. Perhaps in time or when you live in Valinor. Right now the reason I’m able to reach you is because you broke your mortal shell, went on a very Reaper type rampage, well done on that by the way, and are in a magically exhausted sleep. So you are closer to me, than you are to Life.” Faircoivar took a moment to process that and then sighed. “My family is going to be very upset with me when I wake up.”
“Most of the living tends to be upset when their loved ones get close to me, yes.” They were very much in for a great deal of fussing and lectures later on. “I could keep you if I chose to, but that would go against a deal I have with Life. You are also performing a much needed and valued task for me.” However gently spoken, there was an underlying not threat, but message being given now.
“Relax,” Death’s expression was serene as they sipped their tea. “You are much more useful to me out there. Corruption has a way of damaging souls which means more work for me and my other agents to ready them for new lives.” Deliberately making themselves untense, Faircoivar reached for the scone. “I didn’t want those that I cared about to be harmed by the corrupt. I hoped based on what I Saw before that I could make it through it and return to my anchor.”
Death inclined their head, “And you were correct. However there is a price to be paid. You are still growing into your abilities.” The being gave them a stern look. “Each time you do something like that you will need more to recover from it. Even when you reach your full strength it should not be used lightly. There will still be a cost and it is disruptive to living things when you do so.” Which made perfect sense from their memories of the event. “You are balance, but too much power brought to bear, even healing power, can destroy.” Faircoivar took their time to consider that statement.
“My physical shell helps keep that contained. Part of growing into my abilities is learning how to use and filter that outwards so I can use it without disrupting balance.” Death’s smile returned. “Yes, you are learning and grasping the concepts. Proving my faith in you.” An expression of surprise spread on Faircoivar’s face. They had not thought of it that way before.
“It is far too easy for someone granted this kind of power to become corrupted, or think they know best. Part of why I chose you is for your ability to care about others, even above yourself. Though it is perfectly okay to do things for yourself, even encouraged. Just know where the line is that you should not cross.” Key words there Faircoivar noted was should rather than could. Which implied they very well could use their powers to harm more than heal. This was a large responsibility. So that Death put some faith into them to use the power gifted to them well, and not abuse them. “Everyone makes mistakes, just be aware that the mistakes you make can have a far greater impact than most.” A very sobering thought. “I will.”
There was also an opportunity here, questions that Faicoivar could ask. “I’m trying to be careful to respect people’s right to make their own choices. Part of that is figuring out when I should intercede.” Death regarded them calmly. “I am not, nor have I ever been mortal. Even now you are interacting with me through a filter, an aspect. You already knew that what I am is more than any one individual can comprehend.” Which was absolutely true. They knew that when they accepted their positions and abilities. “You were chosen because you have been mortal. So I’m afraid you are going to have to determine that for yourself.” Apparently it just wasn’t going to be that easy.
“It was worth asking.” An amused sound escaped Death. “It is always worth asking. As long as you are prepared for the fact that you may not get the answer you want.” Which was totally fair. There were people that could not accept being given an answer outside of what they desired. Harry had only ever wanted information to be shared. Death was doing that. But Death the being was also something beyond easy comprehension, so did not think the same way Faircoivar did. They accepted that. At least they seemed far more aware of that than the ainur.
“So this is just a little chat and a tea party?” Faircoivar tilted their head in interest. “You always seemed to enjoy yours. I thought it would be nice to try it.” Death wanted to enjoy a tea party. Which seemed about correct with the level of crazy and strange that went on in the young elf’s life. “Well you picked a lovely view for it.”
*
Gilriant had been sleeping for three days. Three very long days where his family waited and watched. Taking turns playing pillow as they all knew how much the young elf needed the contact. Haldir the most often, as he refused to leave. Occasionally Legolas could coax him away to attend to his own needs. Though it was equally difficult to get the woodland prince to do the same. He too refused to leave the room. The bed was large enough that Gilriant was bracketed at all times. When Maglor wasn’t taking a turn, he would play his harp for hours. With Glorfindel adding his flute to it at times. All waiting for their loved one to wake.
So when the young elf started to stir, everyone noticed. Maglor’s hands stilled on his harp strings. The twins sat up from their perch at the end of the bed, Weasley tucked into Elladan’s arms. Arwen cuddled Hedwig who crooned encouragement. Haldir cradled him close. “Time to wake up, everyone’s waiting for you,” The marchwarden spoke softly. A faint chuckle escaped him at the slight whining noise that escaped Gilriant. “I know, sleep can be nice. However, you have been sleeping for days. Can you wake up for me, please?” The plea that threaded his voice was possibly the push that was needed for Gilriant to abandon the comfort of slumber. Slowly he blinked his eyes and then winced, a pinched expression on his face. “Headache?” Haldir asked softly. At the faintest of nods, there was an unspooling of tension in the room. While having a headache was not good, the fact that Gilriant was responding to Haldir was a good thing indeed.
There was faint stirring among those gathered as Elrond entered the room carrying a tray. Apparently the elven lord had picked up on the fact his brother was waking, and anticipated possible needs. “Can you help him sit up?” Haldir brushed a hand down Gilraint’s arm. “I am going to go slow, but it's time to sit up. Your brother has something for you to drink. It should help.” At the faint nod, the marchwarden started to ease him upright, Legolas inserting pillows behind the young elf to help.
As Haldir refused to relinquish his spot, Elrond handed him the cup once Gilriant had been eased into a semi-upright position. The young elf reached for it with a shaky hand. The marchwarden gave him a slight smile while he kept his grip on the cup. “Small sips.” Gilriant rolled his eyes but behaved, not trying to guzzle down the drink. Even when Haldir pulled the cup back, he simply asked in a rough voice, “More?” There was another ripple of relief, this time at his voice. “In a little bit. You haven’t had anything to eat or drink for over three days.” Elrond replied in a firm tone.
“Oh, right, they did say I was suffering from magical exhaustion. I’ll probably have to sleep more before I am better.” Gilriant blinked again, slowly focusing on everyone in the room. “Ah, sorry for worrying you.” Elrond regarded them steadily. “Focus on getting better for now. Once you are, we can have a nice long discussion about what happened.” The young elf winced. That was code for lots of lectures and fussing. “Looking forward to that.”