1
It’s the end of December and Barty is bored. Evan is too, he knows that. The two of them have run out of ideas to make Christmas break fun. There’s barely anyone in the castle, and even less of the people there are interesting. Technically Pandora is there as well, but she comes and goes as she pleases and rarely hangs around with the two boys. So really, it’s been only Barty and Evan for one and a half weeks, and they’re already bored. It’s not like there’s anything interesting to do in the castle.
The distraction comes the day before New Years in form of Remus Lupin and Sirius Black, who decided to stay behind with his friend instead of going to the Potters. Barty isn’t watching them closely, it’s accidental that he sees it, really. The small glances from Lupin to Black that go unnoticed by the other. Blushing when their hands brush. The textbook definition of having a crush on your best friend and being too scared to do anything about it, in case you might ruin everything. Barty would know all about that.
However, that alone isn’t really so interesting. What is interesting, and also makes the whole thing funny, is that the older Black clearly likes him back, Lupin is just too oblivious to see it. Again, Barty would know all about that.
“What are you looking at?” Evan interrupts his train of thought. “Remus and Sirius?” Barty turns his head towards the other boy. He too, is looking aver at them with an amused expression. Clearly, he got the same impression from their behavior. Barty nods.
“You think they’re dating? Or still in denial?” the Evan asks.
“Neither. They’re oblivious I’d say. Just need a little push to confess.” Barty says, and oh wow. He just had the perfect idea to make Christmas break a little more interesting. Evan is looking back at him with wide eyes, clearly having the same thing in mind.
They spend the rest of the day in their dorm making out.
☆
The next day at breakfast, they look for Remus and Sirius again. They’re very obviously in love. A year ago, Barty probably wouldn’t have noticed. A year ago, he was just like that. “So, what do we do? Push them into each other?”
Evan hums. “Not sure that’d work. They’re probably really scared to confess. You need a little more than that.”
“Mistletoes? You think that’ll do?” It would make them share a kiss, probably, and that could very much lead to confessing their feelings.
“They might ignore it. Or maybe they won’t stop underneath it. We’d have to figure out a way to keep them there.”
Barty smiles. “You’re a genius, Rosie.” Evan shoots him an unimpressed look. “What? You are.”
“I didn’t even say anything. It was your idea.”
“We should kiss.” He says instead of responding. Evan shakes his head, but he’s smiling widely while doing so. “You don’t want to kiss me?” Barty gasps. He wipes some fake tears from his eyes. “And I thought you loved me.” He shakes his head and turns away from Evan while clutching his chest.
“No come back, I’m sorry Bee.” Evan laughs. Barty turns back around and smiles sweetly.
“Let’s go. We have work to do.”
☆
They spend a few hours in the library, looking through books, distracting each other, stealing kisses. They end up making out in the far corner, where you can’t really see them. It’s what one would call a complete success
“No one told me making spells is this easy.” Evan says after they’ve successfully spelled their bed to not let them out unless they kiss. Barty thinks he’s beautiful when he smiles like that. He watches Evan and memorizes everything about the boy. The way his hair is messy, because Barty ran his hands through it over and over again. The light flush on his cheeks that comes from both the kissing and the euphoria of having succeeded at creating their own spell. The spark in his eyes that Barty is so obsessed with. Sometimes he still can’t believe that he likes him back. After all, Barty is just Barty. Evan is everything that’s good in the world. Maybe it’s a Rosier trait, because Pandora is like that too.
“Stop staring at me like that Bee, we have to make a plan.” He leans forward, closing the space between the two of them. “Can’t have you distracting me, can we?” he whispers and licks his lips. Barty’s eyes automatically follow the motion. He looks back at Evans eyes. They’re full of mischief and love. He shakes his head slowly, never looking away from the blue eyes.
“No. Can’t have that.” He breathes out and leans forward, closing the gap completely. Evan chuckles a little bit and leans back. Barty follows him. They don’t end up making that plan after all. It’s a nice way to start the new year.
☆
It’s a couple days after New Years when they finally go through with it. The other students will return the next day, and who knows when the opportunity arises again. They hang a mistletoe in the hallway to the great hall. That way, Remus and Sirius will most definitely pass by it. Evan and Barty wait until they can hear the other two approaching and then Barty starts running. Evan laughs and stops walking for a second. Then he starts running after him. When he approaches the area where the mistletoe is, Barty a few feet ahead of him, Remus is just underneath. Sirius is a little too far to the left. Naturally, Barty cuts off their way forward, while Evan goes to push Sirius a little further to Remus. It’s an accident of course, one that comes from not paying attention to your surroundings.
When Evan goes around the corner, Barty is already waiting, smile on his face. “And now, we wait.” He says quietly. From where they’re standing, they can’t see what’s happening, but they can hear it.
“What the-“ one voice says.
“Why can’t we go?” says the other. This one is definitely Sirius’s voice, Evan knows it from formal events he was forced to go to.
“I don’t know.” Remus says. There’s a small pause after that.
“What?” Sirius asks, in response to something Barty and Evan can’t see.
“Does that mean we have to kiss?” Sirius interrupts the tense silence, sounding at once panicked and excited.
“I don’t know. Probably. It won’t let us leave otherwise, I think.” Remus sounds rather dejected about that, presumably because he thinks it won’t mean anything for Sirius.
“Okay.”
Barty and Evan look at each other. Is it really happening now?
“No. Sirius I can’t.” Remus sighs.
“What? Why not?”
“I-“ Silence follows, only broken by heavy breathing. “I can’t kiss you if it means nothing.” Remus finally explains. His voice is small and he’s clearly trying hard to keep it from wavering. “I really like you. If you kiss me, and it doesn’t mean anything to you, I don’t think I could handle it.”
Again, it’s quiet as Sirius processes what Remus just told him.
Then: “I’m so in love with you Moony. If I kiss you, it means everything to me. Please let me kiss you.” The older Black breathes out. Barty has to strain to hear it. Evan looks around the corner.
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Yeah. I love you too, Padfoot.”
“Do you want to be my boyfriend?” Sirius asks, hopeful, giddy.
Evan nods and turns back to Barty. When their eyes meet, Evan smirks and holds out his hand for a high five. They really are geniuses.
2
By the time it’s February, Barty is ready to rip his ears out. There’s only so much pining he can take before he has to do something about it. Regulus, however, would not stop talking about James Potter. Ever since he’s been back at school, Barty could have one conversation with the younger Black sibling without the Gryffindor being brought up. Sure, he was good looking, with messy brown hair and beautiful brown eyes. But all the talk about him has made Barty rather annoyed with the boy.
Evan seems just about done with the topic as well, so there truly is only one thing to be done. Really, it’s a miracle neither of them has jumped off the astronomy tower yet.
“It’s just so irritating! Why can I not just hate him, Barty? It would be so much better. But no, now I’m stuck with this ridiculous crush on somebody who won’t ever like me, let alone fall in love with me. I’m certain Sirius has made sure of that. I should be able to get over him so easily, Barty, I don’t even know why I fell for him.”
Regulus is ranting. Barty is one second away from hexing his mouth shut. It’s not that he dislikes that Regulus is being open about his feelings, for once, no it’s more the fact that Barty has other things to do.
Like make out with Evan. Because Evan has been avoiding their dorm, just in case Regulus had had another encounter with Potter. And since Evan always had a stupid excuse ready, it was always Barty who got stuck listening to Regulus and giving him advice that would never be heard. It’s gotten worse after Regulus finally ran away from home, and is now also staying with the Potters.
“Because he’s always nice to you. Or so you’ve said. I think you’re being irrational. If Sirius has told him all these bad things about you, surely, he would be ignoring you. I honestly believe you should just tell him. He clearly likes you too.”
“I’m not going to tell him.” Regulus stares incredulously. Barty shrugs.
“Okay. Your choice.” Regulus glares at him. “If you want to keep being miserable about it, be my guest.” Because as much as Barty hated listening to rants about James Potter, he didn’t want Regulus to stop either. He would endure the torture that was listening to Regulus wax poetry about Potters hair and eyes and skin and soul for as long as Regulus wanted him to. Besides, Barty would also sometimes start talking about Evan, just for fun. It must be just as terrible for Regulus as it was for Barty.
“Okay. Good.” Regulus simply says and keeps talking.
Barty tries his best to listen, but eventually he zones out and thinks about Evan instead. He would really have to take matters in his own hands and finally get Regulus to confess somehow.
☆
Finally, after dinner, he gets some alone time with Evan. They left Pandora and Dorcas in their dorm with Regulus and decided to go on a walk. Of course, since it’s after dark, they aren’t actually supposed to be out of bed, but when has anyone ever cared about the rules.
“I’ve missed you, Rosie. You should really stop disappearing so much. If we listen to Reg together, it’s only half as bad.” It would be better if Evan was there, but Barty thought that about everything. And most of the time Evan was there, so it was already great. Just not as much lately.
“Yeah, sorry. I’ve just been thinking about something.” Evan trails off, not giving away what exactly he’s been thinking about. “We should get them to confess too.” He says.
“Well of course we should. I just don’t know how.”
“I think we need to talk to Potter.” He sighs. “I genuinely don’t think it’s good for Regulus if he keeps this up. Every time he talks about him he just spirals into self-hatred at the end. I mean, I’d hate to just straight up tell James that Regulus likes him too, but I fear that’s where this is going.”
Barty is honestly having trouble keeping up. He’s never noticed Regulus talking bad about himself when the topic is James. Although, if he thinks about it more, he can see it. It’s in the small statements, and the choice of words that easily fly under the radar but become so obvious once you pay attention. It’s like when he says James will never like someone like him or that Sirius has made sure of that, insinuating there are only bad things to tell.
“I think that’s our best bet. Regulus won’t budge. I told him to just confess, but you know how he gets.” Evan hums in agreement. Then he nods once.
“I’ll talk to him tomorrow. We got this Bee.” He flashes Barty a blinding smile. “Now, let’s forget about that for a bit, yeah?”
“What do you propose we do?” The question creates a smirk on the other boys face.
“I’m sure we’ll figure something out” He says and pulls Barty along. Sure enough, they find a way to spend the rest of the evening before finally returning to their dorm and falling asleep next to each other.
☆
Evan is waiting outside the Quidditch changing rooms. It’s cold and dark and way too early to be awake. But this is the only time one can ever get James Potter alone. He’d spent way too much time making sure that it was really the only possibility. The whole past week he’s been following the Gryffindor around, trying to figure out when it’s best to get him for a conversation. The problem is, James Potter has too many friends. If he’s not around Sirius Black, which he is most of the time, he’s with Pettigrew and Lupin. Although, most of the time when Sirius is missing, Remus is as well. It’s obvious what they’re doing.
However, even Pettigrew leaves sometimes, which should leave James alone for a bit, but it doesn’t. He has a study group with Lily Evans, Remus Lupin, Mary MacDonald and some other people from their year. When Evan was following him around, he tried to be as unnoticeable as possible, but there are only so many times you can be in the library doing nothing, that Evan eventually just asked if he could join their study group. He’s actually been enjoying it, especially since he finally gets some time to study.
He can’t focus as well if he’s alone, but Barty is too distracting and studying with Regulus is the same as studying alone. Pandora prefers to be alone, and Dorcas usually does everything right away, so she never has to.
It basically just means that James Potter is never alone. Unless it’s right after Quidditch practice, since the boy typically flies a little longer than his other teammates and then spends ages in the shower. It’s probably because he’s never alone that he does this, so that he can get a little rest from socializing. Evan almost feels bad for disturbing his quiet time. Almost.
But the thing with Regulus has been bothering him for a while, and the best solution to that problem is James. So, Evan woke up extra early to wait in front of the changing room. He feels a little like a creep.
The door opens and James walks out. His sees Evan and stops, a clear question in his eyes. “Hey Evan. What’s up?” he asks, ever polite.
“Hey James.” He clears his throat. He doesn’t know how to do this. It’s way too early to be this awkward. “So, you like, love Regulus, right?” He already knows the answer.
James nods warily.
“Yeah. Why?”
Evan almost laughs. “Okay, uhm. I don’t know how to say this. Just-“ James starts to look really nervous. “It’s nothing bad, don’t worry.” Somehow, this doesn’t reassure the Gryffindor. If anything, it makes it worse. It’s silent for a bit when Evan doesn’t keep talking and just looks at the floor.
“Just tell me.” James says, voice unwavering despite the fact that he looks as if he’s about to throw up.
“I really need you to tell him.” James hesitates, obviously unsure what to say to that In the end, he just asks:
“Why?”
“Because! I cannot hear another word about your perfect hair or sunny attitude. I can’t handle more rants about how you’ll never like him back, despite how many times Barty and I have tried to convince him otherwise. If I even hear the name James again, I swear I will jump of the astronomy tower. Evan takes a deep breath.
“I need you to tell him so that Regulus stops thinking he’s not good enough.”
He stops talking then because he’s not planning on revealing more of Regs insecurities, and this one was already bad enough. He hadn’t planned to get so worked up about it. Just goes to show how much he cares about his friend, really. It’s been getting worse since he moved in with the Potters, constantly surrounded by good people who do good things. And Sirius. Running away was good for him, but his parents still control majority of his thoughts about himself. He needs more than one winter break to relearn all of that. Especially the comparing. Regulus felt like he was a bad person because of the way he acted, forgetting that he’s spent his whole childhood loveless and abused. Of course, that’s going to make you different from someone who grew up loved unconditionally.
“He really thinks that?” Is the only response.
“Yes. But that’s not the point. I didn’t mean to tell you that.”
“Oh.”
There’s just staring for a bit.
“So, will you tell him? Please.”
“Okay, yeah. I’ll do that.” James smiles. Evan smiles back.
“Thank you.” They’re still standing in front of the changing rooms. “Sorry for crashing your alone time.” James only shrugs.
“It’s not a problem.” Then they walk back to the castle in silence. Evan is way too tired for this.
☆
At dinner that day, Evan wants nothing more than to go to bed. School is draining, having important talks is draining and getting up at five in the morning is also draining. On top of that, he hasn’t had any classes with Barty that day, so he has only seen him in the hallway. He misses his boyfriend badly.
It’s probably unhealthy to be this codependent, but he can’t really help it. He needs the constant touching and flirting to regain energy. A whole day without Barty is already terrible, he can’t imagine what it would be like to be apart for even longer. Of course, he’d manage, and has done so before, but everything is just a little easier with Barty by his side. It feels like he’s home, and it’s warm and lovely.
Naturally, he finds his friends at the table, Regulus still missing, and slumps against Barty. He’s too tired to sit normally. “Hi.” He whispers, looking up at his boyfriend.
“Hey Rosie.” Barty smiles at him. “Missed you.” Evan hums. Then he sits up straight and takes some food. He ignores the suspicious glances Pandora and Dorcas give him and Barty. It’s not like it’s unusual for them to do this, so Evan doesn’t really get what they want. He also ignores any conversation that might take place, too busy eating and reenergizing.
It’s only when Dorcas gasps dramatically, that he looks up again. She is, like most other people in the dining hall, looking at the doorway like she can’t quite believe what’s happening there. Evan follows her gaze. All he sees is a smiling Regulus walking towards them, and a very happy James walking in the other direction to the Gryffindor table. Something must have happened.
“What happened?” he asks. Dorcas swivels her head to him, clearly still in disbelief.
“Did you not just see that?” Evan shakes his head. He had not been paying attention.
“James just kissed Regulus in front of the whole school.” She’s way too excited. Or maybe Evan is just underreacting for once. He’s exhausted.
“Oh. Cool.” He hopes the two of them talked before that. They must have, otherwise Regulus wouldn’t be grinning like the fool he is. Evan looks at Barty. The other boy is already looking back at him, smirking. He whispers: “That’s two.”, as if they’re planning to meddle again. To be fair, they probably will.
Regulus arrives and is immediately bombarded with questions. He mostly pretends he doesn’t hear them. The only thing he confirms that night is that he’s now dating James Potter, who asked him out. Evan is proud of him.
3
The third time they decide to get involved in a situation they probably have no place in, is when Dorcas keeps complaining about Marlene McKinnon. It’s different from the way Regulus used to complain about James, because at least he was self-aware. Dorcas somehow convinced herself that all there is between the two girls is a stupid rivalry. Each Quidditch match they count who scores more goals. Then, at the afterparty one of them would gloat the entire time. Whenever that happened, everyone got overwhelmed by the sexual tension between the two.
Still, Dorcas wasn’t admitting that she had a big fat crush on the Gryffindor girl. Every time any of her friends would call her that, she would glare and say, “It’s not like that.” Even though it was exactly like that.
After another Quidditch match, Gryffindor versus Slytherin, which of course they had won, Evan had enough. He just wanted what was best for his friends, and what was best for Dorcas in that moment was to get over herself and admit that she had a crush.
“Dorcas.” He interrupted her in the middle of her sentence. Barty sent him a look. “Please. Reg talks less about James than you about McKinnon.” Dorcas just glares again.
“It’s not like that, I told you.” She says, defensively. Evan really doesn’t understand why she’s so against it. Regulus hadn’t been this defensive when they pestered him about James. He’s been closed off for a little bit, but then just admitted it and threatened them not to tell anyone. Which Evan had done.
“Why not?” he asks instead of telling her that she had a crush. That was what Barty tended to do. Regulus just sent her doubting looks. Pandora laughed.
“I- I don’t know. It just isn’t. I don’t- It’s- She’s annoying.” Evan just raises his eyebrows and nods. “Really, she is.”
“But she’s also really pretty.” Adds Barty. “You can’t deny that.” Dorcas shoots a quick look in Evans direction, which confuses him. Why would she want his reaction to that?
“I mean, yeah, sure, but that’s not the point.”
“What is the point?”
Dorcas sighs. “She’s annoying, I told you.” She pauses and hesitates before continuing. “And she’s a girl.” Regulus furrows his brows. Barty opens his mouth and then closes it again, clearly very confused. Evan too is rendered speechless.
“So what?” asks Pandora, saving them from a very awkward silence. “Reggie is dating a boy, and you don’t mind.”
“That’s different.”
“How so?” Regulus inquires. “It’s basically the same thing. You’re a girl and you like girls and I’m a boy and I like boys. So what?”
Dorcas looks to the ground. “I don’t know.” She whispers. “Maybe I’m just scared because she might think it’s disgusting.”
“She won’t. I mean, she’s friends with the Marauders.” Barty says. He sounds very sure about this, probably because he is. All that sexual tension doesn’t come from one person only. It’s mutual and everyone knows it but them. Maybe they have to meddle again.
☆
“How are we doing this?” asks Barty the moment they’re alone in the dorm. He’s draped across Evans bed, head hanging from the side. “Do we need to make some elaborate plan?” he sighs dramatically. “Will it take away from our smooching time again?” He looks devastated when Evan looks at him from his position on the desk. “I can’t live without that Rosie, you know that. I need you.” The end turns into something of a whine. Evan shakes his head but can’t help smiling at his boyfriends antics.
“I’m sure we can just lock them in a broom closet together and leave it at that.” With that he jumps off the desk and saunters over to his bed. Barty lifts his head and sits up, so he looks away from Evan now. Then he quickly spins around. They have some free time, so why not use it for good. They don’t end up making a plan.
☆
Funnily enough, that’s exactly what they decide to do. It’s harder than one would expect. Or maybe it isn’t actually, because how do you get someone to go into a broom closet and then to stay there while they get the other person. Neither of the boys have any idea. So, they just try.
Dorcas is easier to get, because she’s already friends with them. She trusts them. So, it’s easy enough to get her to walk with them to an abandoned hallway they found during Christmas break and then trick her into going inside a broom closet. Barty holds the door closed while it’s Evans job to find Marlene and get her to follow him into the hallway. And then have her join Dorcas in the closet.
She’s hanging out with Lily and Mary when he finds her. The three witches are on their way to the Gryffindor common room when Evan runs past them. And doubles back as he sees Marlene.
“Hi.” He greets them all. He knows Lily and Mary from study group, so he says hello whenever he sees them in the hallway. He doesn’t know Marlene outside of stories Dorcas or his study group told him. Which makes this part of the plan a little harder.
“Uhm. Hey. McKinnon.” She looks over to him, having previously stared at the paintings on the wall.
“What is it Rosier?” Evan thinks Barty should have gone instead of him, because at least he knows Marlene from his childhood. Come to think of it, why hadn’t Barty done this? Or the talk to James either, because these people were Barty’s neighbors and childhood best friends.
“I need your help with something.” And there it is. He’s made it weird. He’s never even talked to this girl before, why would he need her help. “It’s about Dorcas.” Saved it. This is why Evan was doing this and not Barty. He was good at talking himself out of awkward situations. He was good at lying without being malicious. He knew how to get people to do what he wanted.
“Okay.” She says skeptically. Evan nods and waves his hand in a ‘follow me’ motion. Marlene sends one last look to Mary and Lily, both of them looking kind of concerned. They let her go alone though, because they know Evan, which is honestly more trust than he deserves seeing as he’s about to lock her in a closet.
Just before they arrive at the hallway, he has to clarify. He wouldn’t want their meticulously planned matchmaking to fail because he misunderstood a few situations. He slows down. “You do like Dorcas, right? In like a romantic way.” Marlene takes a few seconds to respond.
“How do you know that?” she asks. “I haven’t told anyone.” Evan shakes his head.
“It doesn’t matter. Come on.” He leads her into the hallway, closer to Barty. It’s really not his fault that she follows him. When they arrive at the closet, Marlene looks at Barty in a calculating way.
“What are you doing here?” Barty grins and says nothing.
“Go in there really quick.” Evan instructs her. She still follows his orders even though she has no reason to. It’s a little weird, if he’s being honest, that she doesn’t know him and still follows him into an abandoned hallway. She does know Barty, which maybe makes it minimally better.
Barty closes the door behind her and Evan spells it with the same spell they used on the mistletoe. No one is getting out of that room without a kiss. His eyes meet Barty’s, and he starts laughing. Barty joins his laughter while Marlene and Dorcas are entirely quiet.
“What the hell you guys.” Says Dorcas after a while. She doesn’t necessarily sound mad, but also not entirely overjoyed.
“Sorry.” Evan says. “Figure it out.”
Of course they don’t leave. They just stay silent so they can hear whatever the two girls inside are saying.
At first, Dorcas tries all kinds of spells on the door, but none of them work. She grows frustrated. Eventually she gives up. That’s when Marlene finally says something.
“What did he mean by figure it out?” Dorcas huffs annoyed. Then she sighs.
“Sorry. Just-“ she takes a second before speaking. “These two idiots think it’s funny to lock us in here because I like you. I didn’t have anything to do with it. Sorry.”
“You like me?” Marlene asks, breathless. You can hear her smiling.
“Yeah. That’s why I got so invested with the rivalry. It’s the one way I could get your attention on me.”
“You always have my attention, Dorcas. Really, you’re the only thing worth paying attention to.” Dorcas laughs. “No, really. You’re so… magical. Beautiful.”
“Stop. You’re making me blush.” Dorcas laughs.
“Good.”
After that, Evan and Barty hear nothing. Then there’s a thump and a gasp from inside the closet. Evans eyes widen when he realizes what is happening. He tugs on Barty’s hand. The other boy is blushing hard and easily follows Evan away from the hallway.
“Salazar, I can’t believe they would do that in there.” Evan says when he feels that they’re far enough away. His shakes the uncomfortable feeling from his body. “Have some decency at least. Or don’t do it at all.” Barty just laughs at his rambling. Eventually Evan just shakes his head. “Whatever. Let’s go make out or something.” Barty laughs even harder.
When they see Dorcas again, she is glowing. However, she still glares at them and goes to eat dinner with the Gryffindors instead.
Interlude
Evan is lying on his bed, Barty’s head on his chest. It’s a Hogsmeade weekend. Regulus is on a date with James, Dorcas is away with Marlene, and Pandora is making friends with the woodland fairies. It’s the perfect time to stay inside and hang out with Barty all alone. Now that all their friends are coupled up, they have a lot more alone time. They also, however, have a lot less time in the dorm, seeing as Sirius banned Regulus from the Gryffindor ones. Evan grimaces at the thought.
“You know.” Starts Barty and Evan can already tell this is going to be something completely nonsensical. “We should give them couple names.”
“What does that mean?”
Barty laughs. “Like something that we could say instead of James and Regulus. Jegulus, for example.” Evan snorts.
“That sounds horrible Bee. If anything, it’d have to at least sound cool. Like starchaser.” Barty abruptly sits up and turns around.
“That’s genius, Rosie. You’re so smart.” Evan can’t help but get flustered at that. He feels heat rush to his cheeks. Barty beams when he sees it. He loves making Evan blush.
“Okay so what about Sirius and Remus?” He distracts from the blush. Barty sees right through him, of course, but at least he has mercy this time. He lets him get away with it for once. The boy thinks for a second and then lies down on Evans chest again, this time his face is burrowed into the nape of his neck and the rest of his body is sprawled out over Evans.
“I don’t know. Wolfstar maybe? Because Lupin means wolf and Sirius is a star?”
Evan hums in agreement. “You know, now that I think about it Remus is also related to wolves. Remus and Romulus, you know? Raised by wolves.”
Evan chuckles. “The only thing missing would be that he’s a werewolf.” And then he stops. Full pause. Because now if he thinks about it really hard, he can almost remember Remus missing breakfast after every single full moon. All the scars also can’t have come from nowhere. He clears his throat. “Anyway. Couple names?”
“Genius, Evs, I’m telling you.” He feels Barty smile. “Dorlene.” Evan full on laughs at that.
“I thought we wanted to be creative?” Barty just shrugs.
“What do you want to call them then? Marcas?” Evan laughs even harder.
“Sweet Salazar, Bee, what is wrong with you? That sounds so bad. Dorlene is fine.” Barty lifts his head to look at Evan. His eyes are sparkling with an ‘I told you so’ look. Evan is still laughing too hard to care. It’s lovely to be with Barty.
4
They don’t plan for it to happen again. It turns out, all their friends are just spectacularly bad at getting together. They’re not even that close to the victims this time.
Really, the only reason they get involved is because Lily practically asks Evan to. They are sitting next to one another in study group when she sighs. Evan looks up at her to figure out what was wrong, then sees her staring at Mary MacDonald instead. She has that look in her eyes, the same one Barty used to have before they started dating. The one you get when you’re head over heels in love with somebody and that somebody is your best friend, so you know them better than anyone else, but can’t do anything about it because you’re scared they’ll hate you for it and push you away. Evan is very familiar with that look.
He elbows Lily in the side and the effect is immediate. Her head swivels around to face him and tell him off, but then she looks at him and sighs again. Evan tries to look sympathetic, but he isn’t sure how well he’s actually pulling it off. Lily puts her head down into her arms and hides her growing blush. She knows she’s been caught, and she knows he knows.
Here's the thing: With her head in her arms, she can’t see the way Mary’s eyes immediately jump towards her at the movement. The other girl looks concerned and then spares a quick glance at Evan to check if she’s okay. Evan smiles and nods reassuringly. She looks unconvinced. After that, he pays more attention to the way Mary looks at Lily. He’s right, of course. There’s definitely something more going on there.
He tells Barty right after, even though Lily had threatened to hex him if he told anyone. And they come up with a plan. Because they don’t really know Lily or Mary that well, they don’t know how they work around each other and what kind of buttons need to be pushed to have them confess. So, they need an actual plan, one where they trick the two girls into confessing without them knowing.
The brilliant solution Barty comes up with? Amortentia. Now, they can’t just make some, put it in a vial and ask them to say what they smell. That’s way too obvious considering that they already had the potion in class, so they know what it looks like. They’d just lie. Or lie by omission. Same thing.
However, if they don’t know what it is, they can’t lie. And that’s the plan.
First, they have to brew the potion. Meanwhile, Evan will just have to deal with the longing glances, ‘accidental’ touches and shy smiles whenever he’s around the two girls.
☆
Because Slughorn is a stuck-up old man, they have to figure out how to get the ingredients on their own. At least some of them. Whenever Barty has potions, he steals some ingredients they need. The only thing he is incapable of stealing are, ironically, rose thorns. There is not a single rosebush on the entire Hogwarts grounds. Evan checked. Multiple times. He has better things to do with his time.
And that’s why they ask Pandora to get them. Pandora has mysterious sources that can get her almost anything, should she only ask for it. A bunch of rose thorns is nothing. She brings them without question.
Barty somehow brews the potion all on his own, because that’s one subject Evan is absolutely, undeniably bad at. It takes nine days, which apparently is normal, but it’s not like Evan would know. They don’t even need most of it. It’s a real waste of ingredients, but so is everything they make in class, so he doesn’t think about it too much. Evan transfigures a flower into a bottle. That way they can transport a larger amount than would be in a vial.
Then it’s time to set their plan in motion.
☆
Evan and Barty are near the Gryffindor common room, the place where it was most likely that Lily and Mary would walk past. Barty had ‘accidentally’ spilled the whole bottle of Amortentia on the floor, and now they were crouching in front of the puddle, pretending to clean it up again.
Evan heard a familiar laugh, right before Lily came around the corner, directly followed by Mary. They stopped when they saw Evan and Barty.
“Is everything alright?” asked Lily, immediately concerned for her friend. Mary however had a different concern.
“What is that?” Her nose twitched, smelling the strong fumes the potion radiated. “Smells like Lily’s shampoo.” Barty and Evan exchanged a look. It was working. Lily looked confused.
“What are you talking about? That smells like your perfume, clearly.” Evan had to bite his lip to stop himself from laughing. One glance at Barty revealed that he was in the same predicament. Their eyes met. That was all it took for both of them to burst out laughing while the two girls just looked at them, even more confused than before.
“It’s Amortentia.” Barty says. The words have a shocking effect. Both girls suddenly wear matching expressions of horror. Mary recovers first.
“Oh. Well. I guess that’s nice.” She glances at Lily for support, who is blushing hard. Her cheeks are matching her auburn hair. “Where did you get Amortentia from?”
Barty shrugs. “We made it.” Evan smiles, because he really didn’t do anything but watch as Barty made the potion. Then they almost messed it up because they had been snogging instead of watching it.
Finally, Lily also returned to the land of the living. “Wait, lets rewind for a second. You like me?” The whole thing is directed at Mary.
“Uhm yeah. I thought I was being obvious. Did you really not know?” Funnily enough, Evan had taken a while to pick up on the romantic undertones of Mary’s glances and actions and he was a very observant person. It was way less obvious than she made it seem.
“No.” Lily breathes. Then she turns her gaze to Barty and Evan. “Do you need any help with that?” One look at each other and they shake their heads at the same time.
“Okay.” Lily says and drags Mary the rest of the way to the common room. Evan cleans the spill easily with a quick spell. Another success.
5
The last one is kind of a stretch, but Evan and Barty decide to count it anyway.
It’s the middle of May, and they’re walking around the castle when they come across Pandora chatting with some white-haired boy, holding hands. They come to a stop and exchange a look because since when did Pandora have a boyfriend.
“I didn’t know you had a boyfriend, Pans.” Barty says. Pandora startles and looks away from the boy’s eyes. Her face lights up with joy when she realizes who is calling her.
“Bats! Evy! Hey!” she exclaims. “Oh yeah. This is Xenophilius.” She smiles sweetly. “Xeno, this is Bats.” She points at Barty.
He clears his throat. “Barty. Pleasure to meet you.” Pandora ignores him and goes on.
“And this is my wonderful twin brother Evan. Although I’m sure he’ll let you call him Evy if you ask nicely.” Evan blinks.
“Sure.” He nods at Xenophilius. “Lovegood.” Then he turns his full focus on Pandora again. “How long have you been dating?”
“Oh, not that long. I met him when I got you the rose thorns. We talked about Nargles.” She shudders.
Her boyfriend nods along. “Scary little creatures.”
Pandora points at him in agreement. “Exactly. It’s been about that long. Anyway, I have to go feed the unicorns. Xeno?” The blonde boy nods and follows her down the hallway.
When they’re out of sight, Barty asks: “What was his name again?” Evan shrugs. He really has no idea. “We’re counting that, right? I mean they met because of our meddling.”
“Oh yeah. We’re definitely counting that.”
+1
On a rare occurrence, the whole group decided to hang out. It’s the beginning of June, and they’re all sitting by the great lake. They sit in a circle and play card games. Occasionally, someone will give someone else a light push at something they said or jump up in victory. It’s usually just Sirius, Marlene, and James though. Evan and Barty are nowhere to be found.
Eventually the topic circles back around to couples and dating.
“Hey, which one of you confessed first?” James asks Marlene and Dorcas. The two exchange a glance and blush.
“Technically it was Dorcas.” Marlene says.
“Technically?” This is Lily, leaning forwards so that she doesn’t miss anything. She loves to gossip.
“Well, I only did it because Evan and Barty locked us in a broom closet together and I was trying to explain why.” Dorcas says, looking at Marlene with hearts in her eyes.
“Wait, Rosier and Crouch?” Mary joins the conversation. “They’re the whole reason Lily and I confessed too.” Everyone looks at her. When she doesn’t say anything more, Sirius hits her arm.
“Come on. What does that mean?”
“Oh, they were trying to clean up some Amortentia when we walked past. Only we didn’t know it was Amortentia so we kinda revealed what we thought it smelled like. They told us right after though. Who knows if we’d already be together if it weren’t for that.” She laughs lightly.
“I remember they wanted to make that.” Pandora adds. “They asked me to get them rose thorns. That’s when I met Xeno.” She sighs. “That was a truly lovely day.”
“What would they need Amortentia for?” asks Remus, concerned.
“Oh, I don’t know, I didn’t ask.” Everyone looks back to Lily and Mary. They share a look.
“You know, we actually don’t know either.” After everyone thought about it for a second, but no one came to a solution they decided to drop it.
“Actually, now that I think about it. Those two were there when Pads and I confessed too. They were the ones that pushed him into me and under the mistletoe.” Declares Remus after a while.
“Honestly, before I confessed, Evan genuinely just told me to do that.” Once again, everyone turns to look at who’s speaking. It’s James. “So, I did and look at us.” Regulus smiles.
“Do you think they planned some of these?” It’s Marlene who asks. She seems to be deep in thought. “I mean, they were obviously responsible for us and Regulus and James. That much is clear. But do you think the other ones were a coincidence? What if they planned the whole thing out. That’s why they needed the Amortentia.”
The group is silent for a while. Everyone thinks it over.
“I don’t think they’re observant enough for that.“ declares Regulus. “I don’t mean to be rude, but those two aren’t exactly known for their awareness of other people’s feelings. I mean, look at them. They’re so in love with each other and they don’t even realize.” Dorcas nods in support.
“Totally. I swear it’s unbearable sometimes. Barty gushes about Evan so often. I can barely look at Evan without Barty’s descriptions of him echoing in my head.”
“We should get them together.” Suggests James. “They helped some of us, so it’s only fair to return the favor, right?” The rest of the group murmurs their support and agreement.
However, before they could get to planning, the pair showed up.
“Hey, you guys.” Exclaims Barty. “Why didn’t you invite us?”
“Bee, they did.” Evan says. “You just didn’t hear because you were daydreaming about me.” He laughs. “Why did you think we were alone?”
“Oh.” Barty sits down next to Regulus, dragging Evan down with him. “Well. What are you guys talking about?” He asks as he makes himself comfortable leaning into Evan.
There is an awkward silence.
“Just about your obliviousness.” Regulus replies, snarky as always. Evan and Barty look at each other and Evan raises his eyebrows.
“Obliviousness?” he blinks and looks around the circle. Most of them are just looking at him and Barty, but Dorcas is pointedly looking between him and Barty. Somehow, this is enough to make him understand. “Oh Merlin.” Barty looks up at him and reads it from his eyes. Immediately a delighted smile covers his face. Evan starts laughing.
“You guys do know that Evs and me are dating, right?” Barty asks slowly. Evidently, they did not. Seeing the wide eyes and open mouths, Barty starts cackling. Evan shakes his head in mock disappointment.
“And they call themselves our friends. Makes you wonder.” Then he sighs. “We make good matchmakers, Bee.”