Hoseok’s floating on his back listening to the water around him, rhythmic and dulled, when he hears the gate creak open.
“What are you doing?”
“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m swimming.”
“Hoseok, it’s one in the morning and it’s raining.”
“That doesn’t change the fact that I’m swimming.”
Yoongi crouches down by the pool, adjusting the umbrella in his hand, and Hoseok makes the grave mistake of looking up at him. His face is scrunched up a little and from the soft illumination from the pool lights Hoseok can see the way his mouth is slightly pouting as he talks, lips pushing outward. He’s terribly cute, even with the messy hair and bleary eyes. Hoseok makes a little groaning sound and sticks his head under the water.
“Seok-ah,” Yoongi says, when Hoseok resurfaces. “I’m not gonna ask right now ok? Let’s just go home. You’re gonna drown or get sick or something.” His voice is rough but Hoseok can hear his fondness softening the edges of his words. Yoongi reaches a hand out from under his umbrella and pulls Hoseok up in one strong tug.
The walk back to Hoseok’s apartment is short, but feels like an eternity. They stand shoulder to shoulder underneath one umbrella, Hoseok huddled in Yoongi’s jacket after the elder had handed it to him without making eye contact.
(“Oh it’s okay, Hyung. I’m not cold.” “You’re literally shivering. Shut up and take it”)
They don’t talk until they’re close to his building, Yoongi starting unceremoniously,
“I’m sorry I’m late.” Yoongi isn’t looking at him, instead choosing to stare straight forward and anxiously grip the umbrella. “The song took longer to record than I thought it would and the first take out place was closed.” He glances at Hoseok then, eyes serious. “I should’ve called earlier.”
Hoseok shrugs a little, Yoongi’s jacket sliding a little off his shoulders. “It’s okay. It was just dinner. I could have called you instead.” It’s silent for a moment before Yoongi speaks again.
“You weren’t in when I got here and you left your phone. I was worried.”
The conversation stops as they reach the door, Yoongi pulling out his copy of the key. When they step inside Hoseok spots his phone on the kitchen table, plugged in by Yoongi, and untouched takeout by the microwave.
“You should take a shower while I heat this up.”
“I already ate,” Hoseok lies.
“Then I’ll put your portion in the fridge. Go shower, you smell like chlorine and rainwater.”
-
Yoongi looks up at him when he comes back into the living room, a forkful of chow mein halfway to his mouth.
“You didn’t dry your hair all the way through, that’s bad for your scalp.” Yoongi frowns, “Here give me your towel.” Yoongi sets down his food as Hoseok sits in front of him, too tired to deny him anything at that point, and hands him his towel. Hoseok’s muscles ache and his insides feel a little numb and maybe he owes Yoongi a couple of answers.
“I think my life is falling apart.”
“Wow, dramatic. You’ve been spending too much time with Jimin and Tae”
Yoongi’s words are flippant, but his hands toweling Hoseok’s hair dry pause for a moment before starting again, the movements softer, and Hoseok understands. Yoongi is giving him a way out. He could answer seriously if he wanted, or joke back if he actually didn’t feel like sharing.
So roundabout, his hyung. And still so incredibly endearing.
It’s almost 2:00 am and the rain is starting to pour harder and Yoongi’s hands are warm through the dampening towel. Hoseok eyes Yoongi’s jacket hanging from the door and the little plant Yoongi had left him when he moved out of their apartment. It’s leaning a little to the right.
The tv is quietly playing a shitty reality tv show, the kind that he loves and Yoongi hates, and Hoseok feels something clench tight in his chest, just beneath his ribs.
Hoseok says, “Tomorrow.”
“I’ll stay on the couch tonight then.”
-
Namjoon had introduced them in college. Yoongi was this genius upperclassman, with his rags to riches story, a big company already wanting to sign him. His reputation preceded him; a little prickly but kind, quiet and thoughtful, a little intimidating. And Namjoon mentioned him a bit too. “Hyung said, Hyung thought, In class Hyung-“
Hoseok had rolled his eyes, “Alright, introduce me to your music-crush already.”
“He’s not my-”
Namjoon cut himself off when Hoseok broke out laughing. “Your music-rival then. I still can’t believe you, of all people, got into an argument in the middle of class.”
-
Namjoon had said, “This is Yoongi, the one I have that music production class with.”
And Yoongi nodded, “Nice to meet you. I’m Yoongi, the one Namjoon has that music production class with." Then he smiled, a little peek of his gums showing through, and every single thought of Yoongi’s reputation and Namjoon’s stories was replaced with, “that’s cute.”
In hindsight that probably should’ve clued him in.
Hoseok had just grinned back and said, “I’m Jung Hoseok, current roommate of this disaster,” while Namjoon sputtered beside him.
They got on like a house on fire, mostly to their friend’s surprise and Hoseok’s pleasure.
“It’s just,” Namjoon made a vague gesture with his hands, “you two are really different. I’m not saying that’s bad or anything. If anything it’s kind of cute.”
Jin leaned forward to pat Hoseok on his shoulder. “It’s adorable, a real case of opposites attract. I’ve been friends with him for years but you’re the first person he’s made friends with this fast.”
Hoseok saw it too, of course. Hoseok can see the difference when Hoseok’s the first to start cleaning up and Yoongi’s the last, when Hoseok is a straightforward helper and Yoongi chooses a roundabout way. He hears it when they laugh together, sees it when they crack up at a joke.
(Hoseok laughs high and clear. He laughs with his entire body, pitching forward or falling back, holding on to other people, clapping in delight.
Yoongi laughs quieter. He covers his mouth sometimes and his shoulders shake and he throws his head back or he leans forward. His eyes half close and his smile is gummy. )
That’s what had bothered him in the beginning. Yoongi is quiet, likes quiet people. Hoseok is loud.
Hoseok hums when he works on things, sometimes in tune, sometimes not. He barks “bap, bap, bap” on the beat when he’s instructing others or working on choreo by himself. He laughs loud, talks loud, makes little noises when he does things. Hoseok's loud and that’s the truth, he’s known so since his mother had had him on her lap, pinching his cheek and saying, “You’re so loud and bright, Hoseokie. Like fireworks.”
Yoongi’s quieter. Speaks softer, movements small but no less powerful. A little muted, slurred, and loud only when he’s rapping or three drinks in at a party and comfortable.
But Yoongi had adapted to it easily, pushing Hoseok to be himself, fireworks-bright, fireworks-loud.
“I thought you were just trying to fill the silence at first.” Yoongi had stated once, “But it’s really just a part of your personality. It kind of puts me at ease if I’m being honest.” Yoongi fiddled with his ear as Hoseok just jumped forward to hug him, almost knocking Yoongi over.
He and Yoongi were similar too though.
“No wait-” Hoseok laughed as Yoongi attempted to body roll, pulling a goofy face and dragging his hands down his body.
“Like this Hoseok-ah?” Yoongi smirked and hummed off key, torso moving in a way Hoseok could only describe as ‘half-dead worm like.’
“No-Yes exactly like that.”
They all eat out together when Hoseok graduates. Jin had smiled bright a few days before when they brought up a celebration dinner and said, “Don’t worry Hoseokie, Hyung will take care of it.” He then watched Jungkook inhale three plates alone and amended his statement, elbowing Yoongi, “Hyungs will take care of it, Hoseok-ah.”
(“Can’t foot the bill alone Mr. Hotshot actor?”
“That’s mister Hotshot actor-model-singer to you. Or Jin-hyung if that’s too long, Mr. Up-and-coming rapper.”
“That’s Mr. Up-and-coming rapper-producer-songwriter, hyung.”)
His graduation seemed to go by in a burst of activity and feeling. His mother cried into his chest and his dad gave him a side hug and a proud nod and his sister ruffled his hair and handed him flowers. All of his dance studio and crew surprised him with a cake, which may or may not have led to Hoseok screeching and wailing.
Before he knew it, Hoseok was being hugged by six people at once and dragged to the nice restaurant downtown.
He ended up nestled between Jungkook and Yoongi, pushed in a little close around the table.
They toast to Hoseok; competitively fake crying as they dedicate different things to him “I wouldn’t have continued to dance without him!” “I wouldn’t be in class still!” “I remember when he was only just as tall as my hip!” Going on until the first round of dishes comes.
There’s a lull in conversation as the younger three attempt to speed eat some dish and Jin and Namjoon are busy having a confusing conversation where they mishear every other word.
Yoongi leans toward him an imperceptible amount, so small that Hoseok wouldn’t have noticed if he weren’t hyper aware of Yoongi’s proximity.
He’s quiet when he talks, and Hoseok has to lean in to hear him.
“Do you already have housing figured out?”
“Ah, no. I was kinda putting it off.”
Yoongi took a swig of his beer, tilting the bottle back and forth once he swallowed. “I’ve been meaning to move out of my building. We could look for apartments together since it's your first time if you wanted.”
“You mean that?” Hoseok set his food down to properly direct his blinding smile at Yoongi.
Yoongi half shielded his eyes in response, “Yeah. Why would I suggest it if I didn’t mean it?” He paused and frowned at his plate for a second before he continued, “I’m gonna head to the bathroom real quick.”
Jungkook, who had finished his plate after Tae and Jimin started recreating some scene from a drama, took that as his chance to lean into Hoseok. “You’re moving in with hyung?” Jungkook pointed his chopsticks at him, smirking a little bit, “Are you gonna tell him about your huge crush?”
“Brat. He just offered to look for a place with me.” Hoseok pointed his chopsticks back at Jungkook, ignoring Jin’s tipsy shout of ‘pointing is rude.’ “ I’d tell Yoongi I have feelings if you admit yours to him.” Hoseok subtly tilted his head.
Jungkook flushed and stuffed chicken in his mouth. “I don’t like him.”
“Right. And Namjoon wasn’t the one who broke the stems on the bouquet.”
-
[=^.^=] 7:43 : Did u still want to check out apartments together?
[Hoba] 8:03 :o yes pls!!
[=^.^=] 8:05: k ill drop by urs soon then so we can find places to check out. Dont want u getting scammed or anything
[Hoba] 8:05 :^^ thx again hyungggg
“It’s got a balcony! Hyung, look!”
“It’s kind of small. The view is nice though.”
Hoseok held his hands up to his face, thumb and pointers extended to make a rectangle.
“Mhm, I can hear the inspired songs already. Something about sunsets and the city.”
Yoongi’s eyes crinkled, “yeah, space kind of tight, but the view is right, day to night, basking in the fading light.”
Hoseok laughed and shoved him, ”Show off! The great Min Yoongi everybody!” They careened into the railing, which creaked only a little suspiciously. “He can rhyme four times in a row!”
”I’ll push you off the ledge.”
-
They toured 4 apartments before meeting for coffee, double iced Americanos and page of Yoongi’s scribbled notes.
“The one with the nice balcony then.” Hoseok nodded before cocking his head to the side a little, watching a droplet of water run down Yoongi’s cup.
He scratched his neck, suddenly feeling warm. “I know it’s stupid but,” Hoseok paused as Yoongi glanced up at him, “You’re completely sure right? That you want to move in with me? I’m kind of. Loud. And I like things clean. And.” He stopped himself before he could ramble on, gesturing a little helplessly with his hands. “You like, lived alone for the past four years.”
“I’m aware.” Yoongi shot him a smile that had Hoseok relaxing in half a second. “Are you sure you want to move in with me? I stay up way too late and end up nodding off in random places. I also don’t clean up after myself very well sometimes.”
“You cook well though, so it evens out.”
Yoongi choked on his sip of coffee and mock glared at him through his bangs. “You just want me for my cooking abilities, huh?” He sounded genuinely affronted, but the way his lips curled up at the edges suggested amusement.
Hoseok sighed, faux put upon, and draped himself across the table. “Oh Hyung, you got me. Jin is already taken so I settled for the other good cook.” It would’ve been properly theatrical if he hadn’t started giggling halfway through. Yoongi shook his head, lifting his drink to his lips again to smother his smile.
“
-
The two years they live together go by in a flash. It’s perfect, most of the time. Hoseok thought he meshed well with Namjoon and meshed better with Jimin but neither compared to how easy it was to live with Yoongi.
After about a year, right before Yoongi’s birthday and also their.. roommateversary? Is that a normal thing to celebrate? Hoseok decided on a gift for Yoongi. A sign of friendship and roommate appreciation. Of course. After hours spent scrolling through different listings, he had found something that looked perfect.
“Hoseok-ssi?” At Hoseok’s nod the woman smiled warmly at him and stepped back to let him in. “I know you’re here because of the ad, but I’ll introduce myself anyway.”
“It’s beautiful,” Hoseok murmured. And it was, despite the age of the piano it had obviously been well cared for and was in good condition.
“He loved it. Played it near everyday. But,” She paused then, reaching over to pour more tea into Hoseok’s cup. “The rest of us don’t. I’d learn but it still hurts a little, looking at the thing.” The expression on her face was a heart-wrenching twist of fondness and melancholy. They chatted longer about music, her family, Hoseok’s dance, and Yoongi before the conversation slowly steered back towards the piano. Hoseok looked away and sipped at his drink.
“Um, can I be honest?” She inclined her head and smiled questioningly.
“I researched a bit and decent used upright pianos are at least like 4 million won. Why did you list it for 600 k? This brand, model, the condition. Pretty good.”
A pause, “Hoseok, why do you want this piano?”
“The friend I mentioned that plays, it’s for him. I can’t really play piano but he enjoys it a lot. He said he misses his one from home. I wanted to get him a nice one, here at this home. I don’t know much about this stuff but he deserves so much.”
She studied his face closely. Hoseok didn’t know what type of expression he had on, but she seemed to find what she was looking for, nodding slowly.
“I don’t care for money. I want it to go to someplace it’ll be cared for again. His piano deserves that. It’s been, rather nice getting to talk to you about him, and music, and letting go.” She’s properly misty-eyed now, and Hoseok was too, “So it’s more part of my process than the money? I have so many of his other things, seeing it just reminds me of how I’ll never get to hear him play it again.”
Hoseok reached out to pat her on her hand, and her expression softened again.
”This friend, you care about each other a great deal? Enough for you to listen to me ramble over an hour for?”
“Hey, It’s been a nice conversation!”
She laughed loud at that, “Oh god, yes you can have it for whatever price. Just make sure your friend loves it too.”
-
The hardest part actually, was getting it back to the apartment. A piano is a large, heavy, and fragile item. Eventually, with Namjoon’s problem solving, and the combined strength of 3 hungry college students being paid in food— they get it in a van, up stairs, in an elevator, and into the apartment.
”It looks nice, Hoseok.” Namjoon clapped him on the back, “you should show him before the birthday party.”
And it does look nice, rich black and pristine white keys. It’s in the living room for now, where they have the most space and where it will be bathed in sunrises and sunsets from the light of the glass doors.
That’s how Yoongi found it, golden as he walked back in from work. Hoseok had chicken on the coffee table and a bright smile on his face as he yelled, “Suprise!”
“What the fuck.”
Hoseok’s heart dropped to his stomach, “I’m sorry, it's too much isn’t it? Or it’s like too cheap? I tried to get one that-”
Yoongi grabbed Hoseok and buried his head in his chest. He murmured something too low for Hoseok to hear and Hoseok worriedly patted him on his back.
“Hyung?”
“What the fuck.”
“Hyung? Yoongi? You’re worrying me a little.”
Yoongi suddenly reared back and took Hoseok by the shoulders. “How much did it cost? No, wait that’s rude. What the fuck.”
“Are you? Are you crying?”
”No. I.” Yoongi pulled Hoseok back close again, “It’s really nice. Thank you so much. You’re so.. Thank you.” Once he leaned away again, the serious look on his face made Hoseok’s chest hurt.
”Of course, hyung.” Hoseok beamed bright and squeezed, ignoring Yoongi’s choked sound, “Don’t scare me like that though! I had a long conversation to get it. Well, actually it was really sweet, the lady-“
When they talked over the chicken, Yoongi had been a bit out of it, not quite following along before his eyes got suddenly intense at random points. Hoseok had chalked it up to not knowing how to deal with the large gift, but his worries were finally put to ease when Yoongi test played it. Warmth had settled in his stomach and the apartment, just the sound of hesitant key presses morphing into beautiful pieces ringing out in the evening, the main melody to join the sounds of the city.
That night he fell asleep on the couch to Yoongi’s playing, watching his back as it swayed and smiling as Yoongi hummed along quietly.
-
Another year passed, and they settled further into their routine. Hoseok liked the breakfast sunrises on the balcony, the piano he fell asleep to, the little smile on Yoongi’s face when Hoseok showed him new dance moves he’d been working on.
-
They were drinking their coffee on the balcony, Yoongi on his laptop and Hoseok with one earbud in as he nodded his head along to the beat. Stiltedly, Yoongi had closed his laptop and drummed his fingers on the table before he spoke.
“Um. I’ve been looking for a new place. My work is really picking up so I was thinking of moving somewhere closer and that I can customize so I can make a mini sound proof studio.”
“That’s a good idea! There’s a neighborhood by the cafe Jin mentioned the other day that’s halfway between your studio and mine. Maybe we could get a place with a heater that actually works”
There was a pause before Yoongi said, scratching the back of his neck.
“I meant by myself. I don’t want to intrude on you any longer. And this place is already so close to your studio I don’t want to disrupt that.”
There’s a tense second as Hoseok froze and plastered his go-to wide smile on his face. “Ah. Well.”
Yoongi continued on, one finger tapping his keyboard, “and you’re doing really well too right? So either of us can afford an apartment alone now.” Yoongi’s words were slow, like he was choosing them carefully, and Hoseok’s stomach dropped.
“Sure, hyung. If that’s what you want.”
-
Yoongi held out his key, the last thing to do before he left.
“Why don’t you keep it? Maybe. Like-Just in case?” Hoseok laughed tightly. “Y’know for like, emergencies.” His voice petered off at the end as he shrugged.
Yoongi was silent for a moment before he nodded and pocketed the key. “Um. Well I guess I’ll get going. It was great living with you. I’ll see you soon.”
“Of course! Let’s have a housewarming thing as soon as you get settled.
-
The first week it felt normal. Afterall, he had missed his sister when she moved out, missed his parents when he left, missed Namjoon when he started rooming with Jimin, and he missed Jimin when he began living with Yoongi. So it was normal, the missing Yoongi, it had to be.
-
“Hoseok-ah,” Namjoon had said, brow furrowed when they’d gone out to lunch together. “You’re not short on rent are you?”
“No I’m good. it’s just-“ lonely his brain supplies and Hoseok chokes on the word, the vulnerability of it, “It’s just I’ve never lived alone before so it’s a little new.” That's barely any better but Namjoon nods in understanding and starts on a tangent of how he’s resorted to instant noodles now that there’s no one to help him cook or cook for him since Jin was on a trip.
Yoongi swats Namjoon and offers, “You could get a new roommate then. You roomed with Jimin your graduation year right? I heard he’s looking for one, you could ask.”
“Yeah maybe.” Hoseok smiles and digs into his food, ignoring his initial thought, ‘but Jimin isn’t you.’
-
The third week of Yoongi’s absence, Hoseok binge listened to all Yoongi’s songs and fell asleep wrapped in Yoongi’s low voice and his blanket. He woke up too early, sweating and grappling with the blanket and feeling out of place.
He’d given up on sleeping and zoned out as he made coffee that morning, thinking back and then even further back.
One of his High School teachers had had them write three metaphors and three similes during the beginning of each class as a warm up during their poetry unit. Hoseok would never admit it, but he liked the way the words read like paintings, curved on the paper
He thinks if he knew Yoongi in Highschool his notebook would be filled with badly written poetry, shitty flowery similes scratched into the paper like-
His voice is reruns of Hoseok’s favorite childhood cartoons, familiar in a way that makes you smile, makes you ache a bit. His voice is like a warm shower at the end of a long day, relaxing and indulgent, something Hoseok loved maybe a little too much. His voice was just out of reach.
-
When Hoseok wakes up, he’s floating, somehow.
He thinks back to last night. He’d gone out to look at the water after Yoongi hadn’t shown up. It had felt like a culmination of everything bearing down on him. Weekly coffee, occasional meals eaten together, texts at 1 am. It was still more than he got with other friends. It wasn’t enough.
Yoongi had called, a little awkward in a way he never was before. “Did you want to have dinner together today? It might be a little late though, sorry.”
Hoseok had responded cheerily despite the ever-present ache he felt when he heard Yoongi’s voice. “Sure! If the light is on then I’m still awake. Just use your key.”
“Are you,” A pause as Yoongi coughed a little, “Are you good?”
“Peachy. Um, I’m late for practice so I’ll see you later, bye!” Hoseok abruptly hung up.
-
“Jiminie. What would you do if something was weighing you down?”
Jimin took a long gulp from his water bottle before he answered, face scrunched in confusion.
“Weighing me down? Ah, I don’t know. I guess if something’s holding you down try let it go? Or try to make it lighter? Is this a riddle?”
Let it go. Release it.
It could ruin everything. But then, wasn’t everything ruined when Yoongi moved out?
“Yeah, and you won it.”
“Hah! Wait, but you don’t win riddles? Wait hyung-“
-
Yoongi isn’t facing him when Hoseok walks into the kitchen. Half of his hair is flat and sticks up a bit, and Hoseok feels bad about having him sleep on the couch. Hoseok stares at his back, hesitant, before Yoongi speaks up first.
“Jimin said you skipped practice yesterday. He told me you were feeling sick.”
“When did you talk to Jimin?”
Yoongi lifts a shoulder and finishes pouring the coffee, turning around to offer Hoseok a mug. It’s the green one with yellow flowers along the edge, his favorite. Hoseok takes it and inhales the strong scent, hoping it’ll ground him.
“In the morning. That was part of the reason I offered to bring dinner.” Hoseok can almost hear the way Yoongi’s mouth curls when he’s disappointed in himself. Before he can apologize again, Hoseok responds,
“I think I realized something. Or maybe accepted something. I needed a day to process it. Or something.” He laughs, loud in the semi-silence of the house.
The refrigerator hums and the heavy rain of the other day has lessened into a light drizzle, barely audible. Yoongi follows him into the living room area and they sit together on the couch, turned toward each other. Hoseok places his coffee on the table, instantly regretting it as his hands shake a little without something to hold on to.
Yoongi sips idly at his own mug, seemingly giving Hoseok a moment to gather his thoughts. He sets the cup down when Hoseok doesn’t elaborate. “What did you realize?”
Against the wall, where the piano used to be, Hoseok had placed a potted plant. He stares at it, it doesn’t take up the same amount of room, it made the now empty space even more prominent.
Here’s what Hoseok thinks.
He thinks that when he moved in with Yoongi it felt like home. The apartment was home because it was the place he came back to after the day out, something he called familiarly in his mind, something that seemed to relax him, somewhere he belonged. He thought this was home, with the little plants on the windowsill and way too many bags of coffee stuffed into the tiny cabinet by the fridge and three blankets on the couch and the way the heater sometimes didn’t work. He thought that these four walls were his home.
He thinks that it wasn’t until Yoongi moved out that he realized it. That Yoongi was what made this place a home.
He thinks that Yoongi stuffed familiarity and warmth into the cabinets with his favorite type of coffee, that Yoongi made it somewhere to belong when he suggested they eat dinners together, take turns washing dishes. Yoongi made it home when he bought an extra blanket and little plants that they named after their friends, when the sound of his piano playing or new songs or grumbled complaints floated around the apartment. Yoongi made it home with every quiet “welcome back” and “I’m back” and “what time will you be back” and “I’ll be back late today-” and-
Here’s what Hoseok says:
“I think I’ve been in love with you ever since we moved in together.”
Yoongi stares at him for a little, eyes roving over his nose, his mouth, his cheeks. He says, “you think?”
“I know I’ve been in love with you ever since we moved in together. Maybe even earlier.” Hoseok can’t handle looking into Yoongi’s eyes, doesn’t want to unravel whatever expression is unfolding across the other’s face. So he looks down instead.
Hoseok looks at their knees, angled toward each other, almost touching.“You feel like home.”
Yoongi’s silent except for a little sound, like an aborted exhale, a quiet hitch in his breathing. Hoseok’s words were stupid tender, and he half wants to stuff them back into his mouth, backtrack like no tomorrow.
The other half of him is relieved, it’s out in the open and it can’t crush him anymore. The other half is a little hopeful. The other half notes that Yoongi isn’t moving away. The other half notes that Yoongi is inching closer.
“Seok-ah,” Yoongi starts, stops.
When Yoongi moves, it’s halting, like he’s trying not to startle either of them. And it shouldn’t feel the way it does, because they’ve touched millions of times before, tackle hugs and shoves when Hoseok laughs too hard and blanket sharing when the heater breaks down and back pats and fist bumps and forehead flicks.
But this time it feels new anyway.
Yoongi leans forward, unfurling his legs from beneath him and his arms from their crossed position. Yoongi cautiously puts one hand on Hoseok's thigh, his touch causing Hoseok to shiver before they lock eyes again.
He scratches the back of his neck before he starts again,
“When I moved into the new apartment it felt wrong. I kept buying the ingredients to your favorite dishes before I remembered and then I realized that I could invite you over if I cooked them. It felt way too quiet without you humming or screaming at a show or laughing at your phone so my third day there I blasted music way too loud and the neighbors complained.” He finally smiles and Hoseok drinks in the gummy grin and the shiny spot on his nose and the mole on his cheek.“I guess I’m in love with you too.”
The clenching feeling in Hoseok’s heart eases, and warmth seems to spread through him, seeping out in the way he smiles and the speed at which his face goes from pink to red. He places a hand over Yoongis, squeezing it a little.
“You guess?”
Yoongi laughs, hushed and raspy, and Hoseok is close enough that he can smell the coffee on his breath. He wants to be close enough to smell the toothpaste too. Yoongi says, with just a hint of embarrassment, “I know I’m in love with you. You feel like home too.” Then, a little rushed and pouty, as if to move quickly past his declaration, “Can I kiss you?”
Hoseoks already leaning in when he replies, “You better.”
Kissing Yoongi feels right.
Hoseok thinks of more shitty similes.
(It’s like sinking into your bed after a long day, like eating a home-cooked meal after weeks of the ready-made kind, of take-out, of delivery. Kissing Yoongi tastes like coffee and good morning texts and it’s warm like sharing the same blanket, head on head on shoulder)
And then Yoongi tilts his head, brings his hands up to cup his face, presses forward a little, and the embarrassing similes are replaced with an embarrassing litany of “Yoongi, Yoongi, Yoongi.”
After slow kisses and breakfast and giddy smiles and lunch they lay in Hoseok’s bed together, legs entwined.
Yoongi cards his hand through Hoseok's hair, in the way he knows makes him sleepy. After weeks of feeling off, anxious and tired, the peace that’s settled over Hoseok is welcome. Yoongi speaks quietly, his voice as calming as his hands in Hoseok’s hair. “I lied back then. I moved out because I was catching feelings and I panicked a little and wanted to clear my head.”
Hoseok doesn’t respond for a second. “Let’s live together again.” Yoongi’s hand stills for a moment, looking at Hoseok through half lidded eyes.
“I’ve been looking at places halfway between your studio and mine.” Yoongi confesses, “And I haven’t actually started soundproofing a room yet.”
“You’re sappy.”
“And you said I feel like home.” Yoongi continues to run his hand through Hoseok’s hair. “My lease is monthly, the landlord will be pissed but I can move out next week.”
“Alright. Next week.”
_
The half of him that wanted to run away is still anxious, still in a state of startled disbelief. But Yoongi murmurs saccharine pet names into his hair and clings to him in the same half-desperate way Hoseok grips Yoongi’s hand. Yoongi holds him like he’s precious and the uneasiness ebbs away, little by little. By the morning of the move, Hoseok wakes up and it’s gone, replaced fully with rolling waves of fondness.
Yoongi is still asleep with his shirt hitching up and his mouth half open, exhaling little puffs of morning breath. Hoseok wonders how he was ever nervous. Yoongi spoke every syllable of his name with fondness curling around the edges, dripping warm and sweet and slow like honey. Yoongi spoke his name the same way for the past two years. Yoongi never would’ve hurt him.
Hoseok gets up, careful not to wake Yoongi, and pads around the apartment. He loves the early morning, even if he’s often a late sleeper. It makes him a little reflective in a way he typically doesn’t allow himself to be.
He reaches the kitchen, connected to the living area and balcony, and takes a glass of water to drink outside. It’s a little past dawn, there’s a few birds flitting about. Hoseok takes a sip of water and lets his mind wander.
He’ll miss the cabinet with the loose handle and this pretty balcony overlooking the park and Seoul skyline. He’s become fond of the way the light falls golden on his windowsill plants and the easy walk to the public pool.
But he’s fonder of the way Yoongi squeezes his eyes almost shut when he laughs hard, how his shoulders shake in mirth. He misses Yoongi’s voice more, slurred and quiet in the early morning or late night. Mostly, Hoseok is a bigger sap for Yoongi.
-
They’re almost finished, all of Hoseok’s belongings packed up and in the car except for a couple items, and all of Yoongi’s things in the new place, ready to be unpacked.
“I’m sorry you have to move homes like this. Moving is a pain.” Hoseok laughs a little in response. He haphazardly tosses some pillows into the box he has open before leaning forward over the side of the bed.
Yoongi’s sitting on the ground, back against the bed and eyes on the clothes he’s packing into boxes . Hoseok tilts his head as he responds,
“I’m not moving homes though.” Yoongi cranes his head and looks up, eyebrow raised, “Home is just wherever I have you to return to.”
“You’re so-“ Hoseok grins as Yoongi ducks his head, “That’s stupid, it means you’re still moving homes. At the new house you’ll be...” Yoongi waves his hand, Hoseok catches it and brings it to his lips.
“I’ll be returning to you, yup.” Hoseok watches, transfixed, as Yoongi flushes pink. “You’re adorable.”
“I hate you,” Yoongi says without heat. “Is this revenge for me moving out?”
Hoseok ducks down and laughingly places a kiss on the corner of Yoongi’s lips, feeling the frown twitch into a smile. “Nah. You gotta do the dishes and fold all the laundry for the next week”
“But you hate how I fold clothes.” Hoseok pulls back and pouts at him a little.
“...You have to be the one to call Jin and the kids and tell him we’re together.”
“...They’re going to be insufferable.”
-
(Jin laughs at them when they throw a second housewarming party.
“You two really couldn’t live separately for more than two months?”
It’s almost as bad as the youngest two whooping and high-
“Called it!” Jungkook cackles.
“You two are impossible, this took way too long.” Jimin adds.
“Acting like you broke up when you hadn’t even been dating!”
The key word is almost. Almost as bad.)
-
Hoseok’s lying on his back, listening to Yoongi’s newest song, something sweet and slow, when he hears the bedroom door swing open.
“What are you doing?”
“What does it look like I’m doing? I’m listening to music.”
“Right… Well, I’m home now.” Yoongi sits on the edge of the bed and leans down to place a kiss on Hoseok’s cheek. Hoseok can feel his smile, warm on his skin, and smell coffee with whatever sugary thing he ate last.
“I can see that,” Hoseok's face splits into a grin as he pulls Yoongi down to him,“Welcome home.”
Bonus:
“Are you serious? You moved out because you realized you’ve been in love with him this entire time?”
“No?” Jin levels him with a Look, utterly unimpressed.
“Yes?”
“Oh my god. Yoongichi, Yoongi-yah, dearest dongsaeng. He bought you a piano. He made you keep the key. He doesn’t completely and utterly roast you when you do that weird thing with your body that you call ‘dancing. Or actually, he does, but he does it in such a fond way it makes me want to vomit sometimes’”
“Hey! You don’t really dance ei-”
“Yoongi.” Jin places his hands on Yoongi’s shoulders. “When we all go out to eat together, you two look at each other the exact same way. And not at the rest of us.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, oh. You better fix this. Jungkook’s been whining to me about Hoseok acting weird.” Jin tacks on the second bit with a scoff but Yoongi sees right through him.
Yoongi smiles a little, “Sometimes it doesn’t really seem like it, but you’re a good hyung,”
“Hey! The audacity! The complete lack of--I just gave you incredible advice and beautifully pointed out your stupidity and you-”