I was born into darkness. I was born into a name that had been whispered like a curse, passed down through generations, carved into my skin before I had the chance to breathe. A name that doesn’t care to know you. It only cares what you can be, what you can give.
Just because you believe, doesn’t mean that it’s fair. Belief in blood. Belief in power. Belief in purity. A world built on these invisible lines, these rules written in invisible ink. They taught me how to stand still while the world turned and I stood rooted in place, waiting, I dont know what for. I tried to undo everything they did, know one understanding that there was so mutch more. It was so mutch deeper than what anyone could see from the outside. I could not exist outside their world. I could not be outside their gaze.
You can’t open your eyes for a while when the world is constantly shut. The first time I realized that the darkness was not just an absence, but a thing in itself, was the first time I felt their absence inside me. They spoke without saying a word, their eyes heavy with all the things I had not done, all the things I was not. Silence was all they wanted.
The war, was born from the same place, the same darkness. It is a world that bends, shapes, and breaks. And it is a war that does not know who to fight. Many fought in that war long before it began. To them, the world was a thing to own, to rule, to reshape in their image. They did not understand how fragile that power is, how quickly it crumbles. How far a lie can go before it comes back to swallow you whole.
I could feel it in every fiber of my being. The fight was never about what was right. It isn't enough for them to be right. They need everyone else to be wrong. The way their world shone so brightly, but only in the absence of everything else. I feel the echo of their influence in every corner of this world. I can never erase the blood, the name, the history.
And so, I search for something else. Something untouched by their belief, a truth that is mine. Something I can have without fear. Light that does not come at the cost of silence, love that does not ask for obedience, for peace that does not demand control.