I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)

Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
F/F
F/M
M/M
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I Can Fix Him (No Really I Can)
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II

1976 September 27th  


Barty

 

He woke up with a pounding headache. He really had to start getting proper sleep. Barty could hear Regulus and Evan talking to each other while getting ready. 

 

They were talking about some essay. Nerds

 

Barty finally forced himself out of his warm bed and out into the cold world. He probably should stop sleeping shirtless too. 

 

Regulus looked over at Barty once he’d finally gotten out of his bed “Well look who’s up.” 

 

“Morning Reggie.” 

 

Regulus just rolled his eyes in response before throwing his collared shirt at him. 

 

“Where’s Evan?” Barty asked. 

 

“He just left, he’s in the common room with Dorcas and Pandora.” 

 

Barty brushed his teeth and Regulus fixed his hair, using the tiny mirror they had since they were 11. It was a surprise how they hadn’t broken it yet. 

 

When the two of them finished getting ready they both went down to the common room. 

 

“Evan, tie my tie.” He demanded, though his tone was playful. 

 

It had become their daily thing. Whenever the two of them were together, Barty would demand Evan to tie his tie, and Evan did so, while complaining. 

 

It was Monday morning, which meant that there were owls flying everywhere, ruining people’s breakfast. 

 

Barty’s breakfast was too ruined by an owl. He recognized his father’s owl. Crouch Sr. writing to him was never a good sign.Out of five years, his father had only written to Barty three times. 


First time when Barty got sorted into slytherin, not ravenclaw, his dad wrote to call him a disappointment.

 

Second time was when Barty was in third year and he had failed one of his final exams so badly that his father had to be called in. He wrote two letters. One to Dumbledore, saying that anything that needed to be discussed could be done over letters, and one to Barty, calling him a failure. 

 

The third time was last year, when Barty had gotten caught duelling Avery. That was one of the worst letters he’d ever got. His dad had written something along the lines of I wish you were never born, or I wish you had died. 

 

The moment Evan saw what his dad had written, He burnt those three letters Barty had been holding on to.

 

Now, it’s his fourth letter. He hasn’t done anything yet, sure he’s already had a couple of detentions,  but nothing too bad. 

 

Evan broke his train of thoughts by nudging Barty with his elbow. 

 

“From your dad?” Evan asked. 

 

“Yeah.” 

 

If it’s another death threat, I’m going to kill that old fucker.”

 

That got a genuine laugh out of Barty, out of all of them, Evan’s the most calm, it’s nice to know that Barty has great friends that’ll always have his back. 

 

“I’ll read through it tonight. We have class soon.” Barty said, shoving the letter into his pocket. 


——

 

Their job in potions today was to brew a simple healing draught from memory. They had to do it in pairs so that meant Regulus went with Pandora and Barty went with Evan. 

 

Barty had skimmed through their potions book in early September, he knew how to brew perfect healing draughts, but he just chose not too. Why? Because potions was the only class where Barty got to blow things up and make it look like an accident. 

 

Evan, his partner in crime, enjoyed blowing cauldrons up. But today Evan was not interested in blowing things up. So the two of them, for the first time, were not purposely trying to screw anything up.

 

“Evan, make sure you stir twice clockwise then counterclockwise three times and repeat.” Barty said, recalling what he had read. 


“Alright alright.” 

 

“Wait, did you crush the rose thorns before adding them in?” 

 

Barty saw Evan rolling his eyes while saying, “yes, I know how to follow instructions.” 

 

Okay class, your time is up, I’m going to be checking your potions.” Slughorn said. 

 

When Slughorn came over to check Evan’s and Barty’s potion he looked impressed.

 

“Boys, this is amazing, almost close to perfection. I see that you two have been learning from the other two.” Slughorn said, then he walked over to where Regulus’ and Pandora’s station was set up. 

 

“What would I do without you Crouch?” Evan asked. 

 

“Probably fail.” Barty replied. 

 

“I never took you as the sort of person to memorize potions.” 

 

Barty just smiled up at Evan. 

 

——

 

They were all sitting together at lunch, passing the conversation back and forth when Snape, Mulciber, and Avery walked in, their hair was bright pink, and their robes matched. 

 

Barty couldn’t help but to laugh out loud at them. “Hey look at those pretty little princesses.” 

 

Snape glared at him, his face turning red at the embarrassment. 

 

Regulus too was laughing at them, they looked stupid, he was sure he saw Dumbledore holding his laugh back. 

 

Everyone knew who had made their hair and robes pink, there was only one group of people known for having a rivalry with them, and taking action. 

 

“Did you guys do something new with your hair? It looks different?” Evan said. 

 

“Fuck off Rosier” Avery muttered. 

 

Once the laughter had finally died down, Barty looked over at Mulciber and said, “seriously though, what’d you guys do that pissed the gryffindors off now?” 

 

“Severus tried talking some sense into his mudblood girl but apparently he was hanging with the wrong crowd and that he was much better than that. Then he said some pureblood shit, and she ran away crying, probably snitched to her muggle loving boyfriend.” Mulciber said. 

“We went to Slughorn to see if he can undo the hair but he couldn’t. Now we have to have bloody pink hair for who knows how long.” Avery complained, sinking into his seat.

 

He heard Regulus mutter something under his breath that sounded like “pathetic” He also saw that Dorcas looked uncomfortable. Maybe she just doesn’t like them. 

 

“Oh c'mon now Snape, why would you choose someone like that when I’m right here?” Barty teased.

 

“Shut the fuck up.” Snape said. 

 

#####

 

Evan

 

Their next class was charms, they had charms with the ravenclaws, out of all the houses, Evan had to admit, ravenclaw was probably the best one to have classes with. Not too loud, and not complete pushovers. 

 

They were working on a concealment charm. Simple enough. Evan thought to himself. He didn’t want to sound egotistical or anything, but he knew he was great at charms. It’s been his best subject ever since he was 11. 

 

Once Evan finally managed to make his cup disappear, he looked over at Regulus who was sitting beside him, struggling to make his trinket fully disappear. Eventually, Regulus did finally figure out how to make it disappear. 

 

Their professor walked over and complimented the both of them. They were the first two to figure out how to properly do it. 

 

Evan looked behind him to see Barty and Pandora had somehow made duplicates of their trinkets. 

 

—— 

 

As the four of them were walking down the hallway, a ravenclaw girl approached Evan, he couldn’t remember her name. 

 

“Hi.” The girl said.

 

“Hi.” Evan said. 

 

Evan looked over his shoulder, and saw that his friends were waiting for him. He gestured for them to go and leave the two alone. 

 

“I noticed you in class right now, you’re really good at charms, can you tutor me? I really suck at charms.” 


“Sure why not, does tomorrow night at the astronomy tower work for you?”

 

“What? Why can’t we just meet up in the lib—Oh” The girl looked as if she was hit with some sort of realization. “I wasn’t asking you to fuck me,” she narrowed her eyes at him “I genuinely need help, but it you’re too horny too, I’ll find someone else.”  

 

He let out a sigh, “I’ll help you, no feeling attached.” Then he added, “I promise.” He smiled down at her. 

 

The girl laughed, “Great, so tomorrow in the library?”

 

Evan nodded. “See you then.” 

 

When Evan finally caught up with his friends he was met with their knowing looks. 

 

“Evan did a girl just ask you out?” Pandora asked, teasingly. 

 

“What? No, I’m just gonna help her with charms.” Evan said. 

 

“Whatever you say.” Pandora said.

 

Evan didn’t feel any physical attraction to that girl. Honestly speaking, he thought she was annoying, she talked too much during class and she needed to shut up. 

 

——

 

That night Evan couldn’t sleep. He went down to the common room. He saw a small fire lit and Barty sitting in front of it, holding his father’s letter. 

 

Evan sat beside him and asked, “What did he write to you about?”

 

“My mum’s sick. She wants to see me.” 

 

“Is she gonna get better?” 

 

“I don’t know.” Barty’s voice broke off. 

 

“Are you gonna go see her?”

 

Barty seemed to consider his question for a second before answering, “I don’t know.” 

 

“Do you know what sickness she has?”

 

“No, but he said it was serious.”

 

Evan took Barty’s hand in his and gently squeezed it. Evan didn’t know how to comfort him. He wished he did. 

 

Barty wasn’t one for crying. In fact, Evan hadn’t ever seen him cry. Until now. He had tears running down his face, while Evan just sat there holding his hand. 

 

“I don’t want to lose her.” He said through tears. 


“You won’t.” Evan said. 

 

Barty quickly wiped his teary eyes with his sleeve. His face was red and puffy but he smiled at Evan. Two seconds ago Barty was crying on his shoulder now he’s smiling at him? 

 

“Sorry, that was stupid of me, I don’t like to cry.”

 

“You just got some horrible news, it’s normal to cry.” Evan said. 

 

“You wanna sneak down to the kitchens?” Barty asked, ignoring Evan. 

 

“We’re going to get caught.” 

 

“No we won’t. Get up, let’s go.” He said was walking towards the portrait.

 

Evan followed him to the kitchens. They were trying to be as quiet as they could with muffled laughter, they were like little boys sneaking to get cookies. 

 

They were doing a good job until Barty yelled “Oh fuck.”

 

Evan turned around and saw Filtch's cat standing near Barty’s legs.

 

“Hey you two! Come here.” Flitch ordered. 

 

The two of them looked at each other before they took off running in the other direction. 

 

Soon enough though, Flitch caught them both. 

 

“Detention. Two days. Now Mrs Norris will be escorting you both into your common room.” Flitch said.

 

Evan rolled his eyes. As they both followed the stupid cat back to their common room. 

 

##### 


1976 September 30th 

 

Dorcas

 

Dorcas might as well just go jump off a tower. She was partnered up with McKinnon for their potions assignment. Slughorn had done that annoying thing again where he would partner people up from different houses. Last time it happened Dorcas was forced to work with Potter. It was not pretty. 

 

Their assignment was to choose a potion from the three options Slughorn has given them. 

 

“Meadows, which potion do you want to make?” McKinnon asked. 

 

“Elixir of Life?” 

 

“Or we could do the hypnotic potion. Can’t remember what it was called.” 

 

“Elixir of hypnosis?” 

 

McKinnon snapped her fingers. “That’s the one.”

 

“Alright, do you want to head to the library to research recipes.” 


They had to brew an N.E.W.T level potion. The thing was that Slughorn wasn’t going to help anyone until their last day. They had about a full month to do it. It was their job to find the recipes, and make proper potions. 

 

None of them mentioned it but they all knew why they were learning this. It was because of the looming war, there’s been rumours of Dumbledore making kids who graduate join some secret rebellion. 

 

Slughorn most likely wants to know who’s good at potions and can help with brewing potions they’d need. 

 

They sat in a corner of the library near the potions books. Dorcas picked up a book with big letters that read Advanced N.E.W.T Level Potions 

 

McKinnon flipped the pages until she found the one containing the potion’s recipe. 

 

“Alright so we need gillyweed, crushed up rose petals, two mandrake leaves, essence of belladonna, green herbs bathed underneath the full moon, powdered moonstone bathed underneath the waxing moon, moonstone crystals bathed in rose essence and— how the fuck are we supposed to get flixweed seeds bathed underneath the full moon cycle?” 

 

“We could ask Sprout if she has any. Or we might just have to figure it out ourselves.”

 

“Yeah I doubt she has flixweed seeds that have bathed underneath the moon. I'm sure we can figure out how to do it.” 

 

“We have until mid November to finish it. When was the last full moon?” Dorcas asked. 

 

“Somewhere near the start of September, the next one’s coming up soon. I think it will be on the 8th of October. Till then we can put the moonstone powder underneath the waxing.” McKinnon said. 

 

“Great. And how long does it take to brew this potion?” 

 

“Only…” McKinnon checked the book, flipping a couple pages, “2 weeks, and we have to put it in a place where the moon shines.” 

 

“Alright, I’ll bring the moonstone powder, moonstone crystals, mandrake leaves and the herbs, and After classes, I’ll find Sprout and ask her for flixwood seeds.” 

 

“Poppy has flixwood seeds. It’s used in healing remedies.” McKinnon said. 

 

“How’d you know that?” 

 

McKinnon hummed. “Well I’m sure you know that my friends are constantly in the hospital wing, and I visit them a lot. I’ve learnt quite a bit about healing through them.”


“Great, so if this potion does end up killing me would you bring me back from the dead?”


“No, I’d be glad that slytherin just lost their best chaser.” She smirked. 

 

“Oh really? You think I’m the best slytherin chaser?” 

 

“To be fair, it’s not like you guys have any good players. I mean Black’s okay- the little one obviously not as good as Sirius, the twin beaters have a light hand, Selwyn’s too cocky, and your keeper needs to pay more attention to the game. So yeah I’d say you're pretty good out there.”

 

“You’re not so bad yourself McKinnon. You and Black- the older one, make a scary team.” 

 

McKinnon laughs. It’s a beautiful sound. “It’s the morning practices, they bring out aggression.”

 

“Hey at least your captain isn’t mentally ill.” 

 

“At least your captain doesn’t make you guys practice at 5 in the morning. You know, every minute you're late is one whole lap around the pitch. James is crazy.” She says with a fond smile. 

 

Now it’s Dorcas’ turn to laugh. She’s heard of the gryffindor's history of crazy quidditch captains. 

 

“All the gryffindors are crazy.” 

 

She scoffed at Dorcas. “You cannot be talking. Look at you guys, the slytherins seem so distant, boring and uncozy.” 

 

“You should spend a night over in the slytherins tower and say that.” 

 

McKinnon narrowed her eyes. “You’re asking me to spend the night?” 

 

“Fuck no. Just saying, we’re more fun than you guys.” 

 

Dorcas felt someone tap on her shoulder and saw Regulus standing behind her. 

 

“Where’ve you been? We were trying to look for you but we couldn’t find you. It’s time for dinner.” Regulus said. 

 

Dorcas started to gather her things up, but she noticed that McKinnon looked stiffer, she lost that cool attitude and was slumped in her chair, trying to go unnoticed. 

 

“Fuck sorry, lost track of time.” Dorcas looked over to McKinnon, “I’ll bring the ingredients I said I would. Try to find gillyweed and the essence of belladonna.”

 

As she was walking out Dorcas was met with a look from Regulus. 

 

“You’re working with McKinnon for a potions project?” He asked. 

 

Dorcas groaned, “no you know how Slughorn pairs up people from different houses and says it causes house unity, well he did that.” 

 

“It’ll be interesting for you to work with her, she seems crazy, sometimes unhinged.”

 

It sure was going to be interesting working with her. 

 

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