Remus was tired. Sirius was restless. They shifted back and forth in Sirius’s bed, a tangle of sheets and limbs, neither one fully satisfied with the position they were in. Sirius was in just his boxers and was struggling to find the right mix of cuddling Remus, who was fully clothed in grey sweats, while also not dying from the heat.
“Merlin Pads! Stop moving, I want to sleep!” Remus mumbled quietly, the crankiness seeping into his agitated tone.
“Well fuck you too,” Sirius whispered, clearly annoyed by his boyfriend’s tone. “I also want to sleep but I just can’t.” Sirius sighed dramatically and turned over, sprawling his legs across Remus. Remus grumbled and rolled away, shoving Sirius’s legs off him.
“I’m going to my bed” Remus huffed, as he got up pulling the blanket with him.
“Fine! See if I care, I’ll go sleep with Prongs!” Sirius retorted in a sharp whisper. Remus made subtle noises of protest but waved it off as he laid down to finally get some sleep in his own bed.
Sirius crossed his hands at the meek protest from his boyfriend and headed towards James’ bed. He lifted the covers to join his best friend, whose back was facing him in James’ signature red Gryffindor hoodie. Suddenly, Sirius jumped and yelped in surprise.
“PRONGS?!” Sirius yelled, seeing James Potter’s head facing him. James’ hands were wrapped around a very sleepy Regulus Black nestled into his chest, wearing James’s hoodie. Regulus turned around, awoken by the screaming. He rubbed his eyes open to see none other than his brother lying next to him.
Before any of them had a moment to react, a loud thud came from near Peter’s bed.
“For fucksake, Rosier!” Barty cursed, tumbling to the floor. The bed’s curtains fell open revealing a shirtless Evan Rosier sitting upright like a deer in headlights, Peter clearly hiding under the covers, and Barty Crouch Jr in his boxers on the floor, having just fallen out of the bed.
James, Sirius, and Regulus had their jaws on the floor as they stared at the trio in Peter’s bed in a mix of horrors, disgust, and awe. “What the actual fuck.” Regulus deadpanned.
“Ok did anyone else know about this?” Sirius asked James and Regulus. “So much is going on under my own roof. First you two,” Sirius dramatically pointed at Regulus and James, “I know you told me about the two of you, but give a man some time to get used to it before this!” Sirius’s hands flew around gesturing at them. “Now Peter?! I mean good on you man, but also what the fuck Peter!” Sirius went on, words spewing out of his mouth at the utter lack of respect for shared spaces. He would have kept going on if Remus hadn’t trudged out of bed and draped his arms around Sirius from the back, resting his chin on Sirius’s shoulder.
“One night I actually want to sleep,” Remus murmured, “can’t a poor insomniac catch a break.” Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus' stroking Remus’ hair apologetically. Remus blinked his eyes open, taking in the full scene. “Whoa,” he let out, noticing Barty and Evan. That woke him up. “Didn’t see that coming,” Remus stated flabbergasted.
James got out of bed, gently placing the blanket on Regulus as he got up. “Ok boys, we need a dorm meeting.” He grabbed Sirius by the wrist and motioned at Peter to join them as they went to a corner away from all the overnight guests. Remus, latched on to Sirius, followed with little resolve. Peter got up, quite red in the face and joined them to huddle in the corner.
“Look, about this..” Peter started off sheepishly, “I can explain-”
“Honestly good on you Peter! How long has this been going on?” James asked earnestly.
“Who’d have thought you were the horniest of us Pete,” Sirius clapped him on the back.
“Did you know the rest of us were in the room while you lot were-” Remus asked profoundly, cut off by a curt “NO!” from Peter.
“No, we didn’t do anything while you were here.” Peter mustered.
“Not like we didn’t try!” Barty called out.
“Yeah, unfortunately silencing charms can only do so much when you try to fit three people in these small ass beds,” Evan laughed.
“Wait a minute, did you do anything while we were here?!” Regulus asked, bewildered. “You lot were clearly here before us or we would’ve seen you come in.”
Evan and Barty looked at each other, a glint of naughtiness in their eyes. “Nothing crazy, I swear!” Peter stammered out.
“Oh Peter, always a saint,” Barty chortled.
“Don’t you lot have the sock on the door rule or anything? How did everyone end up looking for a shag in the same room!” Evan cried out jokingly.
“Well... not everyone was looking for a shag,” Barty said, looking at Regulus.
“Oh Merlin, you guys heard that?” Regulus turned a shade of Crimson, unable to keep eye contact with anyone.
“Heard what?” Sirius asked, “What are your intentions with my brother?” He asked not sure if he should direct that at James or Regulus. “Oh Merlin, which one of you do I ask, this really is incest.”
“It is not Pads!” James cried out.
“Not this again.” Remus groaned.
* * * Earlier that night * * *
Peter wasn't sure how he got in this position, but somehow he had gotten Slytherin's most chaotic duo Evan Rosier and Barty Crouch Jr naked in his bed. The three of them had a wild night to say the least and Peter wanted to get them out of the room before any of his roommates got back. Barty put on his boxers and tossed Evan his pants.
"Pete, you really are something" Barty grinned with a devious glint in his eyes. Evan placed a wet kiss on Peter's neck, moaning in agreement. Peter smiled full of bliss from their intercourse, when he heard the steps by the door.
"Shit." Peter whispered as he pulled back into bed with him and Evan and closed the bed's curtains. Peter put a quick silencing charm on his bed. "I can't let James, Sirius, or Remus see you two in my bed." Peter whispered, a little anxious at the reality of his predicament.
"Don't worry baby," Evan cooed, "we'll stay the night until its safe to sneak out." He held Barty's hand, rubbing Peter's chest with the other. "Besides I am very comfy here."
The door opened and the three of them fell silent, trying to figure out who it was.
"James, stop it!" Regulus giggled, clutching at James' chest as James kept snuggling into Regulus' neck. They were radiating the disgustingly fluffy energy couples have in the first few weeks of their relationship. James couldn't keep his hands off Regulus. And despite Regulus' protests, he actually loved it. James pulled back for a second to look into Regulus' eyes and Regulus immediately melted, pulling the tall boy in for a kiss. Their kiss deepened, as James clawed at unbuttoning Regulus' shirt. They stopped for air.
"You're so beautiful, Reg" James breathed, trailing kisses down Regulus' chest.
"Wait," Regulus said, a little hesitant "James..." He had never been the best at expressing his feelings, especially when he wanted something far sappier than he could ever admit. But James made him feel safe, "can we just cuddle?" It came out as a meek request. One that James almost didn't hear.
"Hmm?" James said, absentmindedly stroking Regulus's arms.
"I love you and all, I'm tired.. Can we just cuddle tonight?" Regulus asked embarrassed, not looking James in the eye.
James was beaming inside and out. He loves him. "Of course Reggie," He hugged Regulus, "I want nothing more than to spend the night cuddling my boyfriend who loves me." Regulus scoffed, finally catching his gaze. James smiled, holding Regulus' face in the palm of his hands. "You know it doesn't always have to be sexual, Reg. Just to spend any time with you makes me the luckiest man in the world." James places a quick soft peck on Regulus' lips. "I love you too Reggie" He pulled Regulus towards his bed, where Regulus threw on James' hoodie before crawling into bed with him.
An hour or two had passed. "I think they're asleep," Peter whispered. Barty and Evan were dozing off on either side of him.
"What if we just leave in the morning," Barty murmured half asleep.
"Wait I think I hear noises," Evan said. Yet again the door to the dorm opened, this time Remus and Sirius stumbling in.
"I didn't think we could get kicked out of the library for a little kiss! I think Minnie just has a vendetta against me!" Sirius whines as they entered the dorm hand in hand.
"Shhh!" Remus cooed, placing a hand on Sirius' mouth. "looks like James and Pete are sleeping! And that wasn't a little kiss, you know what you were doing." Remus glared at his boyfriend, but Sirius had a devious glint in his eyes.
"Well I guess that gives us time to finish what we started in the library," Sirius grinned, practically leaping onto Remus. Their lips crashed as the made out, each kiss going deeper.
Remus pulled back. "I don't know Pads, I'm pretty beat.. I might-" Remus stared at Sirius who had already taken his shirt off and was in the process of undoing his belt. Merlin, his boyfriend was beautiful.
"You were saying?" Sirius smiled up at Remus, and seductively put his hair in a messy bun. Remus was weak for Sirius with his hair tied back. In truth, Remus was weak for Sirius no matter what he did. Sirius walked suggestively over to his bed and draped his body over the covers. "Moony" Sirius breathed his name like it was air to him. Remus couldn't say no to that, so he joined his boyfriend in bed and traced kisses down his skin.
* * * Back to the Present * * *
"Well we can't all stay here." Sirius stated, "Rock Paper Scissors for the room?" Peter and James murmured in agreement. Remus rolled his eyes at the ridiculous of all this and the fact that there was a 60% chance he wouldn't be sleeping in his bed that night.
'Wait... Reggie if your here.. doesn't that mean our room is empty?" Evan thought out loud.
"YEah! Pete, ready for round two?" Barty asked, pulling Peter and Evan out of bed. Peter shrugged in agreement and followed the two out of the room.
James and Sirius started at each other intensely, ready to battle it out in rock paper scissors.
Remus sighed. "I'm sleeping on the couch in the common room." Remus announced, decidedly. He pulled Sirius who was mid game with him.
"I can't believe I'm condoning leaving you two in this room." Sirius spat out, but followed Remus anyway. As the door closed behind them, James joined Regulus in his bed.
"You know we were just sleeping, and I'm pretty sure Remus was too. We didn't have to kick them out." Regulus said, looking James in the eyes. "But now that we do have the room to ourselves..." Regulus pulled off James' hoodie. James' eyes widened in surprise, excited for where this was headed. Regulus' lips came crashing onto his own, as he fumbled with the band of James' boxers.
"WoW" James sighed into Regulus.