Boys' Bathroom
"I think we're safe here," Albus said while opening the bathroom door.
"Safe? Albus, everyone skips here, they're gonna find us!" Scorpius hissed, scanning around the room for signs of life.
He rolled his eyes. "Everyone does not skip here. This specific boys' bathroom?"
"Yeah, 'cuz it's nowhere near Moaning Myrtle's bathroom and it's right next to the Chocolate Frog vending machines!"
"Whatever," Albus said impatiently, "Now, what's this about me needing Mind Healing?"
"Like...You're cool and shit but you have major problems."
"What's all this about? Do I sense a scandal?" Eugene grinned.
Joseph Goyle pointed at them. "I knew you two had a thing going on!"
"What!?" Albus demanded.
"Shut up, Joseph!" Scorpius scowled.
"What are you guys even doing here?" Albus asked.
Eugene looked at him quizzically, "Skipping...?"
"Goddammit."
"Told you!" Scorpius exclaimed proudly.
"Maybe you guys can settle a debate for us!" Eugene nodded, "Are all the females in our year whores?"
"Here? Almost certainly." Albus confirmed.
"Guys?" Scorpius said nervously, "That sounds extremely sexist."
Joseph stared at him. "Scorpius, you're saying that you've never been hit on by any female professors? All of the old teachers have left from our parents' time, Hagrid has retired and McGonagall doesn't teach anymore, obviously!"
"Not really, no," Scorpius answered.
Albus let out an exasperated sigh. "You absolutely have, Scorpius, you're just too dumb to notice it."
Scorpius looked defiant. "Bullshit."
"Remember our 5th year? You were having a bit of trouble in Potions and the professor came over, was practically fawning all over you, unbuttoned her shirt and leaned real close to you?"
"She was just being helpful!" Scorpius insisted, although doubt flickered in his eyes.
"Yeah, but when Rose needed help, did she come over?"
"...No," Scorpius mumbled.
Eugene clapped his hands. "See? I called it!"
Joseph frowned. "I never said that you were wrong, I just think you're crazy for generalising it."
Eugene smiled at them, clearly basking in his newfound glory, "So, you guys wanna buy some Addy's? They're American!"
Two more boys entered the bathroom, in the midst of an argument. "Are you serious!?" Yann Fredericks exclaimed.
"I told you the other bathroom's better!" Karl Jenkins shot back.
Eugene turned to them. "You guys here to buy Addy's??"
Karl scoffed. "No, we're just mitching because of a Charms quiz."
"Then get the hell out!"
"Tell that to Potter and Malfoy over there! They don't have a quiz to skip!"
"We were here first!"
"Yeah, and you probably won't even buy anything!" Scorpius argued.
"Are you?"
"Well," Scorpius faltered, "No, but I know they won't either!"
"Is anyone actually gonna buy any fucking Addy's!?" Eugene's voice had raised slightly.
"Good job! Yell even louder, let them all know we're here!" Albus praised sarcastically.
Yann had slid next to Eugene. "How much?"
"3 a bean," He answered swiftly.
"3 Galleons a pill!?" Scorpius said, shocked, obviously thrown back from the reveal of the steep price.
"Supply and demand, Cravin' Symone," Eugene said, unbothered by the outburst.
"We have to pick a new hiding spot," Scorpius muttered to Albus.