once in a lullabye
Sirius was staring at the two seemingly innocuous letter sitting on the table in front of him. One was the culmination of the first part of his plan - a response from Andromeda.
The other letter signalled that things would never be the same again—hopefully for the better. Its contents were simple yet complex. It officially informed him that the proceedings to declare their mother an unfit guardian had begun. A final verdict would be reached in two weeks. It also mentioned that Regulus’ classification records confirmed he was a little. In two days time, a pair of Aurors and a specialized healer would come to take statements from both him and Regulus.
Which meant it was time to have a difficult conversation. He looked up and watched his little brother happily stuff thinly sliced apple into his mouth. “Woah there, bug. Slow down a little.” Regulus turned to him with a pout. “Tasty!” he smiled fondly, hoping Regulus couldn’t see the nervousness in his eyes.
“I know it’s tasty, but we don’t want a stomach ache now, do we?” Regulus huffed but began to eat at a more sedate pace. He watched as Regulus finished the last of the apple slices and looked at him, more content than he had seen in a while. This one conversation might ruin it all.
“Bug?”
“Mhm?”
Steeling himself, he continued, “Can I ask you something?” Regulus’ smile faded as he picked up on Sirius’ nervousness. “If you had the option to stay with me, instead of Mother, would you take it?”
Regulus’ brain took a minute to comprehend what was said. Then his brain promptly devolved into civil war. His immediate answer was yes. These two days had easily been the best of his life, but how could he leave Mother? And yet how could he go back to the way things were? Just the thought made his stomach turn. There was no way he could hide any longer. Already people would have begun talking. Eventually, Mother would find out, and then... and then...
His breathing faltered, and his chest tightened. Before Regulus knew it, he was hyperventilating, tears spilling down his face. “Hey, hey. It’s okay, bug.” As he was picked up, he instinctively curled up and burrowed into the safest place he knew: the arms of his big brother. And in the end, that decided it. Sirius was safe. Sirius was his.
Sirius knew this would bring up unpleasant memories, but having Regulus burst into tears the moment he suggested staying with him wasn’t exactly encouraging. There wasn’t much he could do to help if Regulus didn’t want his help. Still, the way he clung to him gave him hope. Finally, when he had calmed down, Sirius asked, “Talk to me, bug.”
Regulus pressed closer to him and softly answered, “You. Please?” Sirius' shoulders slumped with relief, but the worst wasn’t over yet.
“Oh, bug, of course. But I’m going to need you to do one more hard thing, please?” Regulus looked at him, sniffling. “In tomorrow, some people will be here to ask you some questions and they might want to do what Madam Pomfrey did again. When they do, I need you to answer them as much as you can, okay? I know you’re scared, but being little is not a bad thing to be. In fact, it’s a wonderful thing. I promise anyone who says anything else is a liar. Even Mother.”
“Okay.” came the whispered reply. Sirius hugged his little brother tighter. He saw Regulus hesitate a little before he opened his mouth. “Siri? Why she no love me?”
Sirius stopped short as his heart cracked in two. How could he explain that their mother was cruel and insane and incapable of true love in a way that wouldn’t hurt Regulus? In the end, he settled on a half-truth. “She did love you very much, I believe. But sometimes people can love us and still hurt us. In fact, sometimes what they believe is love is hurting us. It’s important to love people in a way that doesn’t hurt them.” Regulus nodded, appeased and a little less tense.
That afternoon, once Regulus had fallen asleep, Sirius began to write another letter, putting the second part of his plan into motion. He could no longer run from his past. At least this way, he had some cards in his hand and a chance to keep everything he’d built for himself.
Two days later, at exactly ten in the morning, the ministry officials were here. Ms Chavez was relatively young, maybe in her late twenties with short dark hair and a professional but warm demeanour. Mr Reeve on the other had was older and more reserved, with his salt-and pepper hair and methodical approach to the interview.
They talked to Sirius first and he left Regulus with Lily promising he’d be back very, very soon. His heart clenched but he wouldn’t be allowed to be with Regulus during the questions anyway. This would only make sure that after the examination things would run smoother for him. He sat down in front of them. Mr Reeves had a notepad and a quill. They began asking him questions and by the time they were done he was exhausted and emotionally wrung out. Unfortunately his day wasn’t over yet.
He met with Professor McGonagall to pick up the pre-arranged portkey which took him to place he never thought he'd see again. Black Manor.