swing low, sweet chariot, comin' for to carry me home
Finally, Regulus was alone. All of his dorm mates had left along with the vast majority of people in the school. It was only around half past ten, and no one would be back to the castle before the carriages arrived at six. The first thing he did was set an alarm for four hours with a charm. He was resigned to the fact that he would wake up in an uncomfortable situation, but the prospect of proper sleep had become steadily more enticing until it eclipsed his shame.
The alarm went off, and he groaned. Waking up to face the inevitable was the last thing he wanted as he turned around in his warm sheets. Then he stopped short and flung off the covers. There was neither a wet patch nor a stain on the bed. His mood instantly lifted, and he took in how much better he felt for the sleep. Maybe today would, for once, be a good day. He hadn’t had one of those in a while. Regulus left the dorm and entered the common room, breathing a sigh of relief when he didn’t see Emma anywhere. Even today, careful, watchful concerned looks would really be the last straw.
Slipping out of the common room, the halls of Hogwarts were quiet. Regulus didn’t need to cast a muffling charm on himself to navigate the hallways. Nor did he have to move at the pace of the crowd and could walk as he wanted to. He made his way to his favourite place in the castle, the Astronomy Tower. The last month hadn’t given him much opportunity to visit, but returning to the familiar open space soothed the last of his anxiety.
He sat and watched the clouds as they drifted lazily across the sky. Must be nice to be a cloud. No worries, no responsibilities. Just free, existing in a void. Slowly his eyes drooped, and he leaned against a wall.
Regulus must have fallen asleep again because he woke with the last vestiges of an amorphous nightmare draining away from his memory and a sharp pain in his abdomen.
Oh no. Nonononono. This could not be happening. He shot up from where he was sitting, which jostled his bladder and forced him to still for a second. Then he gingerly made his way to the beginning of the stairwell.
He didn’t remember the Astronomy Tower having so many stairs. Regulus whined as he slowly made his way down the stairs, hands jammed between his legs. Then he heard something that caused the blood to drain from his face in horror. Footsteps. Someone was making their way up the stairs right toward him. He quickly straightened up, wincing at the pain and jamming his thighs together.
The last person he ever wanted to see in his predicament came into view. A slightly out-of-breath Sirius Black was climbing up the stairs. His eyes widened, and he shrunk back against the wall of the Astronomy Tower. Emotions flew through his brother's eyes too fast to decipher before settling on a calm, caring look that nearly caused Regulus to dive straight into his arms, desperate for some sort of comfort. “Are you alright, Reg?”
The sheer sincerity in his voice made Regulus want to cry and rage at the same time. Emotion overwhelmed him, and he let out a quiet sob. It was all so much, too much. Sirius came closer, but he let out another small cry, making him freeze.
“Okay. It’ll be okay, I promise. Just tell me what’s wrong. Tell me, I’ll fix it, I swear.” The way he said it, calm and with conviction, made something break in Regulus. His stomach hurt, his head hurt, there were too many things in his head, and Mother was going to be so upset, and he was so lonely, and all he wanted to do was sleep forever. There were so many problems, how could anyone fix them all?
Then he felt a trickle of something warm make its way down his legs. He squeezed his legs and forced his hands in between them, but to no avail as more followed. Then the sobs came quicker and quicker, and he sank down to the steps.
cantbreathcantbreathpleasepleasepleasesiriuspleasesirius
Sirius was wandering the halls in search of Regulus. They had to at least talk and a day when most of the castle was away was a better opportunity than most. He knew for a fact that his baby brother had not gone to Hogsmeade. Emma assured him he wasn’t in the common room. Wandering the empty hallways he was taken utterly by surprise as the acrid scent of a familiar little in distress hit him. Regulus!
Sirius. broke into a run, possibilities running through his mind, each worse than the last. He followed his instincts right to the Astronomy Tower. About halfway up, he found what he was looking for. Regulus was leaning on the wall for support, his face was white, and he was letting out small whimpers. He was practically dripping with distress pheromone, and by the look of it, he didn’t even know it. Quickly he scanned over his brother but could not place what could be causing him so much pain.
Sadness, anger, worry, fear all slammed into him at once, but he forced himself to keep calm. No one would benefit if he panicked. He let some of his own caregiver scent out in order to try and soothe Regulus. In the most calm caregiver voice he could, he asked, “Are you okay?”
Regulus’ face twisted and morphed into an expression of pure sadness, longing and fear that hit Sirius’ heart like a well-aimed Bludger. The small sob that followed ground the pieces that were left into dust. He moved closer, ignoring the way he shrank into the wall.
“Okay.” He released more of his scent in an effort to keep Regulus calm. “It’ll be okay, I promise. Just tell me what’s wrong. Tell me, I’ll fix it, I swear.” He would do anything to keep his brother safe and happy. The hopeless, helpless look that he received had him stumbling. Then Regulus’ breathing picked up, his hands flew to his groin, and Sirius’ eyes widened in realization as a wet streak appeared on his uniform trousers, followed by more.
He raced up toward Regulus as he sank to his knees on the step, a rapidly expanding puddle around his legs. As Sirius got closer, he saw the humiliation and fear in Regulus' eyes and made a decision. Enough was enough. This could not go on.
He sat down on the step and slowly held out his hand, in a manner reminiscent of the way one would do with a skittish kitten. Regulus looked at it with wide watery eyes before placing his own hand in it. That was all the permission Sirius needed. He shifted Regulus into his lap, cradling him, paying the wetness of his clothes no mind. Regulus buried his face in his neck and bawled.