Regulus
Regulus Black was aware that love had to be earned. Orion and Walpurga made that clear to the Black brothers when they were little. But back then he still had Sirius to look after him. Since then a lot had changed. That summer his big brother ignored him most of the time and just gave him angry and disgusted looks. Regulus was relieved to be back at Hogwarts where they were no longer together all the time, even if neither of them wanted to be. Even if he didn't want to admit it, he was happy to see his friends again.
When he got on the train, Barty and Evan were already waiting for him and laughed loudly. "How was your summer, Reg?" asked Barty, grinning as always. "Okay, I guess." Evan took his suitcase from the seat next to him to make room for Regulus. He sat down with a slight smile. "And how was yours?" Regulus wasn't sure if he was asking because he was interested or just to be polite. Maybe both? It was Barty who answered first. "My father. He's an asshole and he made me realize once again what a disappointment I am. Nothing new." Evan rolled his eyes and sank into his seat. "Our fathers are all equally shitty. I'll be glad when my dad leaves Panda alone." Barty nodded in agreement and pulled a pack of cigarettes out of his cloak. He started smoking a year ago. Now he held out the small pack to Evan and Regulus. The blond boy fished one out without hesitation, but Regulus shook his head. "You know I don't smoke." "Yes, but it's good to switch off. I mean, your family isn't here, what are they going to do?" But Regulus pushed Barty's arm away. "I said no," he said coldly. Barty shrugged and tapped first his cigarette and then Evan's with his wand. They immediately began to glow and the black-haired boy watched his friends as they slowly filled the compartment with smoke. They talked, but Regulus didn't really participate in the conversation. He didn't have much energy left and he decided to save it.
"Have you seen Umbridge? Seriously, a Slither and yet she always wears something pink?" Evan and Barty had been talking about her nonstop since they discovered her during the sorting. Dolores Umbridge was a slim girl with long brown hair. Regulus didn't know much about her, except that she was in the same house and apparently in the same year. At least that's what Barty said. "Evan, don't be so mean, it's not her fault that there isn't a pink house!" The two burst into laughter again. Finally, Barty turned back to Regulus. "Listen Reg, I know your family is crap but it's the first day after the holidays, let's have some fun!" "Barty is right, you really are in a different world today, at least tell us what's going on," Evan confirmed. "Nothing big, I'm just tired." "As much as I'd like to let you sleep, Reg, the girls will be here soon." Regulus gave up. Obviously he wasn't going to get any more rest today. He liked both Pandora Rosier and Dorcas Meadows, but he would prefer to be alone right now.
Later, when his friends went to bed, he sneaked out of the common room and through the castle. He had a goal, the place he always went when he wanted to be alone, the astronomy tower. No one ever went up there and he could retreat. No Barty Crouch Jr. to make jokes. (Even though he sometimes didn't find that so terrible.) No Sirius to stare at him as if he were some kind of animal and especially no Walpurga Black to shout at him or give him new wounds. Her methods of upbringing may have been harsh, but Regulus had learned to submit. As long as he did what she wanted, she wouldn't freak out; as long as he submitted and played the noble Black son, she was proud. But sometimes she did it anyway, just to be on the safe side. It got worse the more rebellious Sirius became, as if she was afraid that Regulus would go down the same path as his brother. So sometimes he sat there in the astronomy tower. Sometimes he just enjoyed the silence. Sometimes he cried because if he did that before someone rang and his mother found out he would die. Once when he was 8 he fell down and started crying. His mother punished him for it and told him that he shouldn't cry anymore because it showed weakness and weak people deserved to suffer. But sometimes Rugelus just had too much bottled up and he couldn't help it. At home he crawled under his blanket and cried into his pillow. At Hogwarts he hid in the astronomy tower.
He didn't know how long he would stay up in the tower and let it go, but eventually the sun started to rise and he quickly went back to the sleeping rooms. Luckily the others were still asleep. Regulus wasn't surprised, Barty always slept late and Evan wasn't any better. He decided to take a shower and get ready, since he couldn't sleep anymore anyway. When he came out of the bathroom Evan was already dressed and Barty blinked at him with tired eyes. "How are you up Reg?" he grumbled and fell back onto his pillow with a groan. Regulus shrugged his shoulders and said. "Breakfast will be ready soon and we have lessons, you know?" There was only a grumble from Barty's bed and Regulus smiled slightly. "Let's go Reg. Barty will follow as soon as he gets hungry."
Evan was right. Ten minutes after them, Barty entered the great hall grinning. He sat down with them and started eating. "See, Reg, I'm still on time for breakfast!" he explained and sat down next to Evan, opposite Regulus. "Good job, Barty," said Evan. "I know, I know!" laughed Barty and started filling his plate with food. "Regulus, why were you so quiet yesterday?" asked Dorcas. "I was tired," Regulus answered curtly. Barty started talking and telling how badly his father was behaving again. Regulus only half listened and only ate small bites. "Where are you looking, Meadows?" It was Evan who asked and grinned broadly. Regulus followed the girl's gaze, which led directly to the Griffendor table. "Dorcas?" asked Barty and finally Regulus nudged her. Barty started to laugh and Evan grinned. "What? uh, nowhere!" the answer came much too quickly and Evan and Barty burst out laughing. Regulus couldn't help but grin. Dorcas Meadws had had a crush on McKinnon for a long time, who was on the Gryffindor Quiditch team and was a year older. At the loud laughter, most people looked over at them, including Sirius. Regulus and Sirius' eyes met and they just stared angrily at each other for a moment. 'He hates you! He will always hate you!' The words circled in his head and became an unpleasant jumble of words. "Reggie, is everything OK?" It was Dorcas who looked at him worriedly. Regulus nodded quickly and apologized briefly before he stood up and left the hall. Lately, this had started happening more and more often. A voice in his head and it wouldn't stop. He decided to go to the common room for a moment before he went to class.
The day seemed to never end and after the Quiditch meeting he told his friends that he wasn't feeling very well and that he wanted to go straight to bed. So he was lying there alone. The other students were all in the Great Hall having dinner. It was fine, he hadn't been hungry much lately anyway. Maybe this would even help him to get a little more sleep.