Do what feels good to you
The days melted together. It was like Draco had left his body. All the stages of grief hit him at once and it hadn’t even have that many days. Now imagine how worse it would be if they were actually dating. Actually in love.
No, he was in love-or delusional- he thought. He really was the worst. He cursed Lucious. It’s all his fault. He raised him to be this way.
At first he was brooding. Scowling at everyone. He kicked Longbottom around with Crabbe and Goyle to let out his anger. When he finally gave up his tantrum he just went to his old ways.
Make fun of Potter at breakfast to see if she’ll even look in his direction. Push Weasley in the hallway and call him broke or something. The nastiest comments came out when he was upset because of her. The rest of his time was spent burning holes into her back.
He watched her every second of his day, just like before. She knew this too because she would glare at him. He would not back down. Sometimes it was an angry stare. Sometimes it was the best puppy dog eyes he could muster.
Of course, she did not care. She made it a point to go back to a time before she even knew how mad he was for her. It really fucking hurt.
As he entered the room he was filled with dread. She would be here tonight. Krum will have his hands all over her. He doesn’t know if he’ll be able to do it. Just thinking it made his magic go out of control.
“Draco, when she walks in here you need to occlude mate. It’s too risky to have you doing some crazy shit in front of all of these people.” Blaise had been pep talking him all night.
Everything began so quickly Draco barely had time to register faces coming into the room.
Then, his jaw dropped when he saw her. She was a goddess. Her dress was a periwinkle shade. It was tight around her chest and loose going down. It complimented her curves deliciously. And then there was Krum, he scowled.
She was right there, just out of reach. He hated it. He wanted to be the one placing his hand on her waist, making her smile.
He reached into his dress robes and grabbed his wand. He shot a stinging jinx through his trousers. Viktor jumped and Hermione whipped her head around the room. Searching for him.
She found him in the line of students making room for the victors. She was angry. But she quickly smiled back to the crowed.
Oh so that’s how it’s going to be then?
The night began with a dance and Draco made sure to send more jinxes in Krum’s direction.
Every time his hands roamed, he sent him a hex. He was clearly uncomfortable but powered on, trying to make her feel happy.
He turned to see the Weasel and Potter. The weasel was red faced and grimacing at the sight of Krum and Granger. Well theres something they can agree on.
They moved across the room and Pansy and Draco moved too. He saw out of the corner of her eye her eye twitch. She noticed him. She was trying not to, but clearly she saw his actions.
The ignored him easily. Her eyes were shining, the satin of her dress ruffles when she moves. Her hair. It’s up. Not his taste. He doesn’t like it caged.
Wild like her is better. He was so angry, yet he couldn’t take his eyes off her. He wanted to punch Krum but also he just wanted to be him in the moment.
“Dray, top starring daggers into her back she wont look your way. Try to relax.” Pansy whispered into his ear.
“Look at her Pans. She’s perfect.” He sighed deeply in desperation. He was so utterly fucked for this girl and she didn’t want to see him anymore. Why?
Everything about her tonight was perfect. Her blue dress -dare he say would’ve matched his white hair and grey eyes much better than that git- It was like she was teasing him with the color, knowing it would look amazing on next to him.
To make matters worse, when Krum spun her around, he glanced down. She was wearing the shoes he sent her. He picked those out weeks ago! She left him all destroyed and rejected and still wore the blue heels tonight.
Draco was newly outraged. He also felt a pang of hope. Maybe it was her way of saying he was still in her thoughts? No. Don’t be delusional Draco. He can’t help it. He imagined her wearing them just for him. To show him she was still his in a way.
Every man was looking her way. He wanted to take her by the hand and hide her away.
The song ended and he sat down with Pansy. He didn’t let Hermione out of his sight though. Theo was rambling about the “signature Malfoy hair”. A flush at his cheeks.
He’s been watching Luna Lovegood for quite some time. Draco’s very own cousin. They don’t really know each other. He does feel a little strange hearing a drunk Theo gush about the Malfoy hair.
Blaise was becoming increasingly aggressive towards Longbottom these days, who was happily smiling down at the Weaselette on the dance floor.
Does everyone have a thing for a non-Slytherin at this table? Sweet Salazar. Their parents would have a heart attack.
Pansy was just…Pansy. She loved herself more than anything. At least it’s what she told the boys. Yet he could see her annoyance when they teased Longbottom..
None of them were paying attention to their dates. Quite the humbling experience for the Beauxbatons girls the boys picked up.
He saw Granger sit with Potter and Weasley. The weasel said something and she stood up furiously. All her happiness of the night vanished from her beautiful face. They started yelling. The music was loud but he could see the tension.
They argued towards the exit. He had to figure out what was going on. He got up and kissed Pansy on the cheek goodnight.
She didn’t want him anymore, he shouldn’t follow her. He should go about his day just like she did. But Gods, the way she looked tonight. How could he pretend?
He heard sobbing and ran towards the sound. Granger was curled into herself. The heels he gave her at her side. Where the fuck are her friends?
___________
“Granger?”
“Fuck off Malfoy.”
“Granger, what’s wrong?”
“Did you not hear me? Fuck off. I don’t need your bullshit right now.”
“No.”
She snapped her head up in anger.
“Don’t do this now. Don’t push me away. Something is wrong.” He kneeled before her.
She can’t give into this silly fantasy- delusion of his. This fantasy that everything will be fine. That they can be together. She can’t like him. It’s too dangerous. All she can do is push him away until he gives up.
“I don’t want you Malfoy.” She put her head back into her hands. She was trying to convince herself of this.
“That much is clear.” He ran a hand through his hair.
“Then why are you still here. Go away.”
“I’m not going to let you cry. Don’t spoil your night when you look this beautiful.” He reached up towards her and she flinched slightly.
“Like you care.”
“Very much so.”
“You’ll get over it. It’s for the best.” She didn’t know if she was telling him this, or herself.
Ron royally fucked up tonight. Said she was “fraternizing with the enemy.” She was so bloody angry. The comment stung more than Ronald could have ever guessed. When he said it, images of Draco kissing her burned into her thoughts. A flash of shame coursed through her. Fuck Ron, fuck this!
“I don’t want to. I want you.” Draco cut off her thoughts.
“I treat you like shit.”
“So treat me like shit then. I deserve it anyway.” He shrugged.
At this, she laughed into her wet palm that covered her teary eyed face.
“You’re an idiot.”
“I know.”
Suddenly his hand was on hers.
“Let me make you feel better. You don’t have to pretend with me.”
She looked up. Anger began to flash in her eyes as his hand darted toward her cheek.
Yet, Hermione could not pull away. Too tired. Tired of Ron, tired of pretending. All of the drama. All because she might like someone who was the enemy.
Maybe that’s why when Draco leaned in to kiss her she didn’t pull away.
Today, she gave up. She let her guard down for the first time. Maybe it was all the emotions of the night. Maybe it was the firewhiskey.
Or maybe she was finally letting herself admit she liked whatever it was between them. It was separate from all the things going on. Their own world.
Their lips met. It was different. It wasn’t lust. It wasn’t a favor. It wasn’t her need to control him or his to fall at her feet. It was pure emotion. Slow at first. Salty with her tears.
He asked for permission by licking her lips to part. She gave it to him. Tentative and slow but reverent. He called her beautiful in between kisses. Wiped her tears. He tasted of mints and something sweet with an aftertaste of firewhiskey.
___________
“you’re perfect.”
“Weasley doesn’t deserve you.”
“Krum is an idiot for leaving you out of his sight.”
He whispered praises into her mouth. He kissed her softly at first. Testing the waters.
She didn’t stop him. Maybe it was wrong because she was pretty emotional over something the Weasel said. But fuck, he needed this. Needed her back. This was the perfect opportunity to prove it to her.
He deepened the kiss when she grabbed the hair at the back of his neck. He groaned when her nails dug into his neck. He was flushed now, his heart was erratic in his chest. Or maybe it was her heart.
“Don’t push me away. Fuck them. Do what feels good to you.”
She looked like she was going to say something before her cut her off with another kiss. She sighed deeply into his mouth.
Then she pulled away. Draco could feel her switch. One moment she was finally cracking the next, she was hard as stone again.
He watched carefully as she wiped her eyes clean. She seemed to be debating something internally. Please love, let me have you. He pleaded with his eyes.
He just wanted her to fall for him too. He was in deep. But she, she did not feel the same. She only took and took. But he could change her mind, he was sure if it.
She rose to her feet. Draco was still kneeling where she was seconds ago. She looked ethereal. Her curls ruined by the nights dancing and his touching. She was perfect in every way. Every freckle, every curve, everything was perfect.
She looked down on him. He remained in his knees sensing her mood switch back to her regular infuriating self. A familiar sight.
“Stand up.”
He shot to his feel immediately.
She took him by the collars of his suit and crashes her lips to his again.
His eyes were wide in shock. Hermione Granger just kissed him. Really kissed him. There was no begging, no asking for something first, it was a pure kiss.
It was rough. Gone was the tentative touches and asking for permission. This time she was in control.
“I hate you.” She whispered between kisses, wet and sloppy.
Draco moaned into her mouth as her nails dug into the back of his scalp again.
“You want me.” He said back not thinking anymore.
She bit his lip and he groaned. She became somehow more aggressive.
“Fuck.” He grunted as she bit his lip for a second time and lapped at the bruise with her tongue. Instinctively his hips snapped to her hers seeking friction.
She let go of him suddenly. She grabbed her heels off the steps and turned around.
“Wait!” He rasped out. She didn’t turn around but she froze.
He reached for her wrist with a trembling hands. “I-i need y-“. She pulled away and took a deep breath.
She didn’t turn around but she looked over her shoulder. “Go back to your dorm, Malfoy.” She walked into the darkness of the corridor. The satin of her dress flowing, teasing him.
Draco touched his lips again remembering her searing kiss.
Does this mean she changed her mind?
___________
Why did she do that? Hermione ran back to her tower eager to slip out of her dress. She was supposed to drown her feelings!
When he came up to her like he always did she forgot herself. All her inner turmoil came bubbling to the surface.
She tried not to think of his trembling hands and how he carefully weaved his fingers into her hair. Or how he pulled and bit a little when it got heated.
No. She definitely wasn’t thinking about how silky and soft his blonde hair was. Or how he groaned and moaned when she pulled it back, demanding control.
She could still go back to hating him right?
Since she cut him off, she’s been tense. Viktor couldn’t make her feel whatever she felt when it was Malfoy touching her.
She can still ignore him. She repeated it to herself while her hands slid into the waistband of her knickers.
She just needed to release some tension, she told her self while she started rubbing small circles.
She closed her eyes and all she could see was grey eyes, staring back in adoration at her.
Fuck.