The door clicks open and familiar footsteps shuffle inside, from the kitchen James bites back a smile.
“James!” Regulus calls out, in search for the boy. James definitely told him that Sirius was over today, so hopefully he’s not too shocked to see his brother.
“Kitchen! With Sirius!”
Maybe the ‘with Sirius’ of his speech was a little quiet, because Regulus comes down the hallway into the kitchen saying, “What did you say, baby?” before looking up to see James and Sirius sitting at the island drinking beer.
“Uh- I'm with your brother.” James cautiously answers.
“Huh.” Says Sirius at first, blinking quite a bit.
“Oh, hi Sirius, didn’t realise you were here. Had an okay day?”
“Reg...” James tries to warn him, but Regulus just smiles absentmindedly before heading towards the fridge.
“Huh.” Sirius tries again; his head tilted almost 90°.
“Sirius? Did you have a good day?”
“I don’t know...” Sirius mutters, so quietly James isn’t even sure he’s said it.
Gulping rather loudly, James gives Regulus a look, to which he returns a confused face- the space between his eyebrows creasing in a way that endears James. But now is not the time. Because fuck. Something is about to happen.
“What’d you say when you came in Regulus?”
“Hm?” Regulus asks- the hum sounds a bit like, ‘what do you mean?’.
“When you came in. You said something, what did you say?”
“I don’t know, don’t really remember- sorry.” Then after a moment, when Sirius turns to face James, eyes ablaze, Regulus continues, “Why? What’s wrong?”
“James what did you answer to? When Regulus came in. I just- I really need to make sure I got this right.”
Swallowing, James fixes his eyes directly over Sirius’ shoulder, listening to the sound of Regulus’ can of beer being opened. “I- I can’t really remember.”
“Come on, James, we all know you’re a shitty fucking liar. Tell the truth.”
“Regulus?” James almost begs his boyfriend for something- some kind of help. But he simply stands there, wrinking his eyebrows and mouthing, ‘what the fuck broke him?’ to James. Sirius sees it though, and yells, “You! You calling James- ugh I can’t even say it- James? A little assistance?”
“Baby.” James admits.
“Yeah?” Regulus asks.
James slams his head on the table and screams for a moment.
“Yeah, well imagine what it’s like for me, dickhead!” Sirius seemingly replies to the scream.
“Can someone fill me in? Are you two on something?”
“YOU. YOU ARE CALLING MY BEST FRIEND PET-NAMES!”
“You’re annoyed about that?” Asks Regulus, raising his eyebrows and coming to stand behind James, who sits up now and receives a kiss on his forehead from a smiling Regulus. He's a little (very) in shock.
“Regulus. What. The. Actual. Fuck. Of course I'm fucking annoyed by that! You’re- And you’re- But I'm- And we’re like-”
Thankfully, Regulus cuts him off before his head explodes.
“You’re embarrassing yourself Sirius, grow up. It’s called a relationship, and this is not your first introduction to one.”
“I’m fucking leaving.”
“Remus is coming over at seven and dinner is at half past, so you better be back by then.”
“I WAS GOING TO MAKE IT! I KNOW!”
“The plan was always for James and I to cook for you and Remus. Let’s be honest, you need to live at his and I need to live at James’, so we need to switch apartments. I thought a dinner would be best to seal this.”
“You can’t kick me out of my own home!?”
“I thought you just said you were leaving?”
“Because I need to get out of here!”
“To go see Remus, at your place.”
“No. Look- just, just no.”
“Go talk to Remus.”
“I will! But not because you told me to.”
“Mm hm. See you at seven.”
“UGH!” And he marches out of the kitchen, the front door making James jump a little as it slams on his way out.
“The fuck?”
“What?” Answers back Regulus, ignoring the fact that James is facing him with a ‘you know what’ look.
“You just told Sirius!”
“I wanted to move in here. And I want to be able to hold you whenever I want to.”
Despite blushing a little, James stays strong, “We did not talk about this. He’ll never forgive me.”
Regulus rolls his eyes. “Yes, he will. In fact, he’ll be over with an apology at seven.”
“I don’t know, he seemed really fucking mad.”
“He’s always really fucking mad. Just don’t think about it, Remus’ll calm him down.” And he gives James a peck on the lips. (Which James smiles about for a second, immediately in a better mood.)
“Okay well you can deal with him if he yells.”
“I thought we were supposed to deal with things together?”
“If you bring a snake home one day and start asking me to try and catch it, then it’ll be a bad day for you. I just- I need you to stop bringing snakes home, and then I'll start dealing with things together with you.”
Regulus rolls his eyes again and gives an amused smile, then he walks out of the room, towards James’ bedroom- presumedly to get dressed for dinner.
James lets out a massive fucking sigh.
In the end, Sirius turns up at Seven very apologetic with an unbothered Remus on his arm.
“By the way,” Remus whispers, “Even if it takes a little more convincing, Sirius will be taking the offer of the apartment swap.”. Then he stalks after his best friend, bothering Regulus with stories of how annoying Sirius was when he got home.