Families
The street was only illuminated by the lampposts , the various homes of Privet Drive that were claimed by the darkness. The raindrops hit the windows hard like bullets on glass but when inside, It was a frightening sight. The darkness of the sky and thunderstorm outside scared the small little boy who stared at one house in particular. His terrified green eyes stared at the home that had a perfectly mowed lawn, with a perfectly cared for garden, and with a ‘perfectly normal’ family. Except this absolutely ‘perfect’ family was not in fact flawless. When they finally showed their true colors everyone could see them for what they were, Hypocrites, Monsters, Abusers.
The horrors that Harry faced in that house always terrified him to his very core. Here it was displayed once again. In an instant he was inside the house. He was at the door clawing at it, jiggling the knob to let him out. He wanted out! He started to sob as he heard thundering footsteps come downstairs. It was Uncle Vernon his face beet red with anger. His bushy mustache moved as he yelled.
“WHAT THE DEVIL DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING!” He thundered.
Harry froze he tried to bolt. He needed to run, he need to hide, he was in trouble and he was going to be harmed. He was scared. So scared out of his mind he would have done anything to leave. Uncle Vernon caught him by his collar.
“YOU SHOULD BE IN YOUR CUPBOARD! FREAKS DON’T BELONG OUT HERE!” His voice echoed through the house. It was so loud. So unbelievably loud. The boy was shaking as he was pushed against the wall. The wild eyes of his uncle made him limp and all he could do was cry and try to defend himself.
His Uncles fists landed on his face and ribs. He felt like the wind was being knocked out of his repeatedly. He now laid on the floor and his uncle took his belt off and hit him on the back with it. He cried out in pain. He was in pain. He needed someone to save him. He wanted his mummy. But he didn’t have one. She was dead. He would’ve cried for Daddy but he didn’t have one either. He was dead. No one would save him no one would help him.
He didn’t even realize his Uncle had stopped beating him until he heard the annoying and smug voice of his cousin. He was no longer in the house but at the little whinging park in Surrey.
“Father says your freak! He said you’re better off dead!” Dudley sneered and the rest of his gang surrounded Harry. This was usually the ending of what happened when Harry lost at ‘Harry hunting’. He covered his head as he was pushed to the ground not that it did much to protect himself. Each kick and blow to him hurt.
He felt ribs being shattered as well as his glasses. He could feel bruises starting to form on his back. He felt beaten down and broken. Everything hurt and he couldn’t defend himself. He cried and cried and that’s all he could do. He could hear the taunting laughs if his cousin and his friends and it only hurt more.
Knowing he hadn’t a friend in the world. No one who would take his side. No one who would ever be there for him. It hurt to be kicked but it hurt worse to be reminded of how unlovable he was that no one would even try to help him. He cried and cried. Until the scene changed once again. He was no longer in the park he was back in the house being dragged by his ear by his aunt.
“What did I tell you! You do not bring up that you sleep in a cupboard in public!” She screeched as she opened the cupboard door and tossed Harry inside. She slammed the door shut. It was dark. It was so dark he was scared and pounded on the door. He wanted out! He was hurt, scared, and alone! He needed someone. Anyone! He finally gained back his voice.
“Daddy! Daddy!” He yelled. He knew it was useless his father would never come to save him. He wasn’t here and would never be here. He continued to yell nonetheless.
“Daddy! Daddy! Help me!”
He was then being shaken and he opened his eyes. His vision was blurry and all he could see was a white face he started to scream and cry.
“Help me! Help me! They’re hurting me! Daddy!” His voice was breaking as he screamed and he felt two arms wrap around him instantly. So warm and soft. He couldn’t stop sobbing as he was being held. He knew someone was trying to talk to him but he couldn’t hear. He just felt pain.
“It hurts..it hurts!” He cried after a moment he realized it didn’t. He hadn’t just been violently beaten a day ago. His injuries were old and had been healed a long time ago by Severus..
Severus..
He looked up as the light was turned on and he saw Severus. The raven haired man looked worried and he wouldn’t stop hugging Harry.
“What’s wrong? Tell me what’s wrong, baby?” Snape tried to get his own voice to stop trembling but to hear the little boy scream and cry he was reasonably terrified.
Harry couldn’t get a word out before he started to hyperventilate again. Snape knew this would take a while. He wasn’t going to give the boy a calming draught. He knew the boy needed to express these feelings.
Snape stood up and took Harry to the dresser. He tapped Harry gently with his wand and the boys clothes were changed. Due to whatever Harry dreamed the boy had an accident. He then used his wand and the urine stained sheets were expelled downstairs to the laundry. He’d deal with it in the morning. Snape took the still hysterical Harry and they laid on Draco’s bed seeing as the boy wasn’t using it. When Snape had heard Harry scream he got up instantly and left Draco with Lupin.
He laid on the small bed his feet hanging of the edge as he held Harry. His hand rubbing soothing circles onto the boys back. He figured whatever horrible memory that Harry was subjected to by his own subconscious would take some time to heal.
The boy seemed to calm down but not by much. Snape thought about what used to calm himself down when he was like this. He remembered his mother used to sing to him..not that he was a good singer by any means but it was worth a try.
His low voice began as he sang the parts of the song he remembered. The song that his mother used to sing to him after he was badly beaten. He liked the song because it displayed serenity, the feeling of being safe. It was a wizard song. He enjoyed it and would hum it sometimes.
He noticed the little boys heart beat started to calm down. He sighed and whispered.
“It’s ok Harry, your safe now. I’m here.” He hugged the boy a bit tighter.
“I-I love y-you Sever-us..” The boy said his words coming out a bit strangled but for the most part a lot better then before. Snape was surprised that he got two I love you’s from the boys tonight. He smiled softly and comfortingly.
“I love you more.”
With that Harry fell asleep.
Meanwhile Draco was with Remus. The blonde was confused and looked at Lupin. He was a bit pouty. He wanted Severus and was too young to understand why Harry got to have Snape as soon as he did. “Is Severus coming back?” He asked looking at Lupin who shook his head. “Maybe in a few hours but Harry needs him right now..ok buddy?”
Draco frowned that Harry got to be with Snape and that Remus called him ‘buddy’. They weren’t ‘buddies’. Draco was going to make it his life’s mission to despise Lupin for as long as he lives. He then felt Remus scoop him up.
“Hey!” The boy pouted as he and Remus were now cuddling. He didn’t want to admit but he felt a lot better now. He just wanted to be held.
“I know you’re upset that Snape’s with Harry right not but I want to tell you that just because he went to go care for Harry for a little bit does not mean he loves you any less. Just right now Harry needed comfort. You are still one of the most special little boys in his life. Ok?”
At those words Draco felt a lot happier. He was special to Snape. Maybe Lupin wasn’t that bad. It was funny how he completely switched his opinion in only the matter of seconds. He held onto to Lupin tighter.
“Goodnight, Remus.”
“Night, Draco.”
Everyone fell asleep a little easier now. But the next morning was in store for a lot more.
Snape knew that Harry’s nightmares were not good. So he consulted Albus of course the next morning. He let Lupin play with the two boys and while brewing tea noticed Draco seemed like he hated Lupin a little less now and Snape wasn’t to sure how to feel about that.
“Albus, you should have heard him last night. It was a blood curdling scream! He woke all three of us up. I was so- so..” Should he pour his heart out? Explain how terrified he was? How he thought someone had broken in and hurt that little boy? Should he explain how shaky he was when he held the little boy in his arms and how he wanted to take away his pain in an instant?
He didn’t. “I was concerned. He was so..scared.” Snape felt a shiver run down his spine as he thought about it more.
“What do you suppose we do about this Severus? You are the boys legal guardian it is up to you to deicide.” Albus didn’t need much convincing in anything. Hearing the account from Severus was enough to make him agree to anything. The Slytherin had been scared. Actually scared. The Severus Snape, potions master, had been terrified by this little boys scream.
“Therapy..maybe talking to someone could help? Do you know any wizard child psychologists? He needs someone to help him through all this. I don’t want him to be in pain anymore.” Snape admitted as he put his hands into his pockets to stop them from shaking so violently.
“I’ll see what I can do, I’ll return tomorrow.”
They bid the headmaster fair well and the rest of the day Snape and Lupin focused heavily on Harry. Of course they never forgot Draco either. They both had been so worried. Lupin knew Snape had been worried as he ran up the stairs and gave Draco to him and then watched man practically dive back down the stairs and rush into Harry’s room. Lupin realized then and there that Snape cared a lot about these boys.
The next day Harry had an appointment with a child psychiatrist. To say the boy was unhappy was the understatement of the century. Snape had to find the boy who had bolted off running and then picked him up as he was kicking and screaming the whole time. Snape sighed.
“You will be there for only half an hour! I’ll be you a sweet if you go!” Harry immediately stopped fighting at the mention of sweets. Ah, yes bribery always works best with children.
They walked up to the gray building. Snape thought it was an odd choice of color considering this was a place for magical children to talk through, grief, trauma, and a lot of other problems. They entered and talked to the receptionist who said the counselor would be right with Harry any minute. Snape arched a brow at all the posters with smiling children with quotes on mental health. He doubted any child would be smiling while they were here. Harry was squirming in his seat and Severus whispered to him.
“You two will just talk. She’ll ask you a few questions and I doubt you’ll have to answer them all. You’re going to be fine, I’ll be right outside the door if you need me, ok?” He smiled.
The door then swung open and a kind looking witch with long blonde hair exited she had a kind smile. “Harry?” She asked and the boy sat up straight his eyes looking stressed. Snape rested a hand on the boys shoulder. “It’s ok. She’s nice.”
Harry got up and went with the woman. He entered the office it was painted a sage green color and there was a few stuffed toys in a corner on a rug. There were a few posters around and a quote on the wall that Harry couldn’t read entirely yet.
“Hello Harry, my name is Lucy it’s nice to meet you.” She smiled
The woman sat opposite of him in an armchair and he sat on the sofa. “Do you want to hold a toy?” She asked pulling up a stuffed black dog. Harry was drawn to it for some reason and he nodded. He held the dog and felt a bit better now.
“So..Harry, do you have a favorite color?” She asked and he nodded staring blankly at her. She chuckled. “Care to tell me?” He thought for a moment and whispered. “Red..”
“That’s a really nice color! I like yellow.” She said smiling at him. Her voice was soft she was making an attempt to not scare the poor boy away. He seemed very fragile at the moment. She knew she needed to ask about his relatives but she’d find away to make this as non-frightening as possible.
“So..I heard you had a nightmare a few nights ago? Can you tell me about that?” She said barely above a whisper. Harry shook his head. He remembered getting stuffed into the cupboard and he really didn’t want to talk about it. He wanted to go home with Severus.
She only smiled. “That’s ok..but you may not know this but talking about it helps a lot.” She added and Harry still shook his head. “That’s ok, how about you tell me about where you’re living now, with Mr Snape?”
Harry perked up at that. He liked Severus, Remus, and Draco. They were nice. Well when Draco wasn’t arguing over the blocks.
“I like it, Severus is nice. He plays with me and Draco.” Harry smiled
Lucy nodded for Harry to continue.
“Remus is really nice, he tells me stories about my Dad.” Harry really liked that. He liked learning about what his dad was like. From what Remus told him he was the best guy ever! “Draco’s..alright. He gets angry when I touch the green blocks.”
Harry frowned thinking back to the argument he had with Draco a few days ago. The other boy did not like to share, it was annoying. He just wanted Draco to give him the green blocks. Lucy chuckled at the childish quarrels he and the other boy had.
Unfortunately this was when everything turned for the worse.
“And is this new family better then your old one?” She asked softly.
Harry nodded. He felt a weird feeling about what she said. Family..
“Why would you say this family is better then your old one? We’re the Dursley’s mean?”
Mean..? Harry remembered the various social works who had tried to ask him if he was being mistreated. Instead of asking if they were hurting him or scaring him they asked him if they were mean to him in anyway.
A woman with short black hair was asking him a question.
“Are your aunt and uncle mean?” She asked and Harry would shake his head as his uncle had threatened him with what would happen if he did tell the truth. Harry’s eyes welled up with tears thinking about it and he bursted into tears.
He didn’t want to think about the Dursley’s anymore in some strange way he felt like if he thought about them or talked about them they’d appear again. Lucy tried to comfort him but he started to cry and scream.
“Severus! Severus!” He started to wail and in an instant Lucy opened the door and Snape came in. It had only been a few minutes. Snape took Harry in his arm and carried the little boy bouncing him a little to try and soothe him. He arched a curious brow at Lucy. She shook her head and mouthed. ‘This might not work.’
Some children thrived in therapy having someone to talk to and some did not. Some felt better talking to people they already knew. She wrote that on a piece of parchment for Snape. She wanted to refund him but he shook his head. He waited for a few minutes in the office just calming Harry down enough so he wasn’t screaming until they walked outside. They went to a bakery and he bought Harry a cookie. He got himself a coffee.
He had Harry eat it in the bakery knowing Draco would throw a fit about not getting one when they’d get home. Harry tugged onto Snape’s shirt while they exited the bakery. “I don’t want to go back.” Snape nodded.
He’d have to think of a different alternative. Therapy might not have worked but not doing anything about it would make the problem only fester. Snape knew about how these things could fester all to well.
They entered the house again and Lupin smiled but looked curious as they were home early. He could see the tense expression on Snape’s face and how Harry’s eyes were puffy so he assumed it didn’t go well. Snape let Harry go play with Draco while he went to the kitchen to make the boys a snack. Lupin followed.
“I take it, it didn’t go well?” He said sitting it one of the wooden chairs. Snape sighed.
“No, they were in there for less then 10 minutes and he bursted into tears. It took a while to console him. He was a bit happier when I bought him a cookie from the bakery.”
Lupin nodded sighing. “What now?” He asked. Snape shrugged. What could he do? This was a mess. The boy didn’t want to go back there and he certainly couldn’t make him but what could he do here? He had no idea how to help Harry through what he went through with the god awful Dursleys. Hell he couldn’t even understand what he went through as a child. He slammed his hand on the counter and sighed deeply. He always had a dislike for Petunia but now he hated her and her awful damn Husband!
He tensed when he felt a hand in his shoulder. He gave Lupin a glare. “Hey, it’s ok. We’ll just have to find another way to help him, each child goes through things a bit differently. Any ideas?” Some how those words helped him. He glanced to the parchment in his pocket. He knew what it read.
Some children need to know they are not alone. If you know anyone who has gone through something similar as Harry maybe Harry will open up a bit more.
I hope this goes well.
Snape knew exactly how Harry felt. But was he good enough to help him? He sighed. He gave the boys their snack. Lupin went to help them through the second disagreement over the blocks. Snape sat at their table. Pondering what should he do? Just then the door opened. He assumed it was Dumbledore but it was Minerva instead.
She sat across from him and sighed. “I was told by Albus.” She stated.
Snape nodded and told her about how Harry started to cry immediately and was inconsolable and about the piece of parchment. There were only three people who ever knew about his rather depressing childhood, Dumbledore, Minerva (who had learned when he was 22.), and Lily.. and all three of them didn’t even know the full length of what happened in this house. He refused to even talk about all the horrors he experienced.
Minerva frowned. “So you’re going to talk to him about this?” She asked and Snape shrugged.
“I’m not sure..I don’t really think it’s a good idea to tell a child about what happened. With-“
She cut him off curtly. “You don’t have to give him all the gruesome details. Just tell him that you understand him! That you know what it’s like to be a child like him. That you know how he feels. That he isn’t alone. That’s how he feels right now Severus.”
Snape looked at her. He supposed that would be a good idea. He didn’t have to go into too much detail. He wouldn’t have to relive it himself.
He nodded. They didn’t speak about the topic more instead they gossiped about teachers, mostly about how such a fool Trelawny was and about the rumor that Hagrid was seeing someone.
“Poppy told me that Hagrid combed his hair before he went to get his usual drinks at the Hogshead. Apparently it looked worse then before! It was frizzy and it looked like he had a cloud on his face.” Minerva chuckled and Snape looked incredulous. “Minerva, please! You can not be serious!”
The two of them laughed and talked for a while before Minerva left. She waved to Remus and tried to discreetly give the boys two chocolates but Snape sighed.
After dinner they were getting the boys ready for bed. He knew he had to talk to Harry. “Mind putting Draco to sleep so I can talk to Harry?” He asked Lupin who nodded. Lupin left with a very upset Draco. He wanted to be with Snape.
Harry looked up at Severus nervously. He thought he was in trouble. Snape took Harry to his bedroom and he gestured for the boy to sit on his bed. He looked at the mess of hair on the boys head. He sighed and got a comb from his dresser.
“May I comb your hair?” He asked and the boy nodded. Harry sat in Snape’s lap as the man worked on the unruly tangles. He was being gentle and he spoke to the boy quietly. “Have I ever told you about my family?” He asked but he already knew the answer.
“No.” Harry said he was curious though.
“Well they were similar to your relatives in a way. I suppose you could say my father was like your uncle.” Snape said his voice gradually getting quieter.
“Oh..was you’re mummy nice?” Harry murmured he felt bad for Snape. No one should live with someone anything like Uncle Vernon. He hoped Snape’s mum wasn’t like Aunt Petunia.
“Yeah..she was. But she couldn’t stop my father from all the things he did.” Snape sighed. As much as he loved his mother she was neglectful and a lot of the time couldn’t protect him from his father. He needed her to protect him. That was her job wasn’t it?
Harry nodded. “That’s like Aunt Petunia. She wouldn’t stop Uncle Vernon..sometimes she was nice but only when we were around her friends.” Harry murmured. Snape sighed. Of course, perfect Petunia always keeping up appearances. She was nothing but a hag.
Harry sniffled. “Do you know why I told you this?” Snape asked and Harry shook his head. “It’s because you don’t have to feel alone or like no one will understand, because I will. I always will and if you ever need to talk to me, I’ll always be right here.” Snape said combing another strand. It was a lot better then before but Harry’s hair was still some how unruly.
“I wish they weren’t my family.” The boy said softly. Snape nodded. “I know, it’s awful. But the good part is, You, Draco, myself and…” he reluctantly spoke. “Lupin. We’re a family it suppose.” He said a bit awkwardly. But it was true. For the last two weeks they had been a family. He didn’t have the boys for long but he was willing to do anything for them and he knew Lupin felt the same as well.
Harry felt a feeling well up in his chest again. He didn’t know how to explain it but he felt it when Lucy had called them a family and now when Severus said it. They were a family. He was happy about that.
Snape finished combing the boys hair and set it on the nightstand. “Do you want to sleep in your room or with me?” He asked and Harry looked up his green eyes were a little tearful. “With you.” Snape nodded and held onto the boy as they both laid down. He rapped them up in the quilt and sighed. “I love you Harry..” It felt a lot more natural to say now. “Love you, Severus.” The boy whispered before closing his eyes.
Snape smiled he felt happy for Harry and himself as well.