Chapter 16
27 March 1977
Remus wakes up to a sharp prod on his shoulder and James hissing something incoherent at Sirius.
“What the hell?!”
“Morning, Moony,” James sighed.
“Yes, hi, why the fuck are you waking me up?”
“James said we could talk in the morning.” Sirius said, pointedly.
“Oh my god! You are insane!”
“You’re the one keeping a secret friend from us!” Sirius says, throwing his hands up.
Remus gets out of bed, rubbing his forehead, preparing himself for, what he already knows will be, a head ache inducing conversation.
“Right, yes, let’s talk about it then.” Remus sighed.
“Why are you keeping secrets from us?! We’re you’re best friends!”
“Why do you care so much?” Remus retorted.
“Because- well- I don’t keep secrets from you!”
“I’m pretty sure we all keep secrets from each other, Padfoot.” James cut in.
“But- I just don’t like it!”
“Why?” Remus asked again.
“I don’t know.” Sirius sighed, sitting down.
“Right, now that’s all sorted out, I have a few questions for you now, Sirius,”
Sirius looks up, his face becoming worried from the tone of his voice.
“Why were you going through my stuff?”
“I was looking for the map, but you always take it with you.”
“Why did you need the map?”
“I wanted to see if you were with anyone.” Sirius says sulkily and quietly.
“Right. Well, I’d appreciate it if you didn’t invade my privacy again, thanks.” Remus replied, before retreating to the toilet.
“Mate,” Remus heard James say softly.
“What, James?”
“You’ve been really weird around Remus recently, what’s going on?”
“Nothing!”
“Sirius..”
“No, nothing is going on, I need to leave.”
Remus heard the loud crash of the door that meant Sirius had stormed out.
—
Regulus was in the library, he had been researching memory spells since the crack of dawn, learning everything he could about them.
He had actually been doing quite well, he had a few theories to discuss with Remus about how to create this spell. He was doing well, until his peace had been disrupted by a very angry Sirius.
“Oh, great, you’re here.”
“Good observation, brother.” Regulus snorted, he eyed Sirius shiny eyes and his poorly buttoned shirt, “Everything okay?”
“Like you’d want to know,” Sirius almost laughed.
“You look like a mess.”
“Yeah, well, maybe I am a mess.”
“Fair.”
Sirius smiled at him, it was odd. Regulus would often question why he would be able to love someone so much and dislike them at the same time, but that may just be the general dynamic of siblings.
“I had a fight with Remus.” Regulus had to struggle to not roll his eyes.
“You truly are like an old married couple.” Regulus drawled.
“Why does everyone keep saying that!?” Sirius’ voice suddenly became loud, and slightly panicked. Regulus smiled internally.
“Why do you care so much?”
“I don’t”
“I think you do.”
“Shut up, you don’t know anything.”
“I know more than you think, Sirius. And I know why you care so much.”
“What?”
“I’ll let you figure it out, trust me, talk to Remus,” Regulus picked up his books and left, smiling when he caught a glimpse of his brother’s baffled face.
Part of Regulus had already thought that Sirius liked Remus. The longing looks had been excessive. He wasn’t sure though, if Sirius knew he liked Remus. He was dreadfully oblivious, and straight ideals had been beaten into them as children. It took Regulus a while to accept he was gay.
He was now certain that Sirius liked Remus, as he had always suspected. But he now knew that Sirius was figuring that part out for himself. How long it would take him? Who knows.
But if Regulus was getting out, he could help. The thought made him smile.
He was distractedly walking through the corridor, pondering the complicated emotions of Sirius Black, when he crashed into something. Well, someone.
“Oops! Sorry Regulus!” A bright smile looked down at him.
“Oh- um that’s okay, I- I wasn’t looking where I was going, so you know…”
“Let me help,” A strong hand reached over to his textbooks, stacking it on the pile Regulus had collected.
“Right, thanks, um, bye Potter.”
“Bye, Regulus!” Regulus was met with another smile.
He stormed away, pretending not to notice the twist in his stomach.
—-
That night, he and Remus were sitting in the astronomy tower, a pile of textbooks between them.
“So I hear my brother was yelling at you again,”
“Yep,” Remus replied, popping the ‘p’, “I really do have bad taste in men.”
“I think he might like you back, actually.”
“What? Don’t be ridiculous, Reg. You don’t yell at people you like.”
“My emotionally stunted, definitely in denial brother does.”
“Stop, you’re being annoying.”
“I think he was jealous, Remus.”
“Yeah, but like, just because I made a new friend.”
“He thought you were seeing someone.”
“Yeah, but he didn’t get any less upset when I said the letters were just from a friend.”
“Wait, letters?”
“Oh, yeah he found our letters. But all of them are just signed with nicknames anyway, so he doesn’t know about you.”
“Yeah, I know, but I think I wrote some bad things about him in a few of them.”
“Oh I burned those ones. They were so graphic I thought it was best if they never saw the light of day again.”
“Oh good.” Regulus laughed.
The sky was clear that night, he got a good view of the stars. Each constellations was a reminder of some part of his family. He wondered what it would be like to look at the sky once he was no longer a part of that family. Would it be easier? Or would it be a reminder of what he was meant to be?
Would he miss his parents?
That was the biggest question on his mind whilst he was figuring out what to do. He didn’t care much for his dad, so that wouldn’t be an issue. But his mother? Up until Sirius had left she had been a good mother to him, even if she was incredibly strict. Not to Sirius. Once he left, she took everything out on Regulus.
He should probably hate her for that. He doesn’t really know if he does though. He’d never existed without her, so would the absence make his heart grow fonder? Or would it just clear his head of all the twisted lies she spoke, and provide enlightenment instead?
There was only one way to find out.