The Star Will Rise Again
The next thing Sirius felt was a splitting pain throughout his body and the bright lights of the hospital wing. Merlin and Morgana, it was too bright and too loud, it felt like everything was just too much. He wanted to ask for something, anything to make it stop, but all he could do was let out a pitful groan.
“Siri, you’re awake, shit.” Sirius was slightly taken aback to see Remus shoot up abruptly in the chair he was seated in next to the bed Sirius was currently lying in. “Madam Pomfey, Madam Pomfey, he’s awake.” he was now yelling for the older women, making Sirius's already aching head feel even worse.
“Mmh, it's too loud.” he didn’t mean for it to sound as whiney as it did, but it came out sounding like something a small child would say when their mother.
“Shh it's ok pads, I’m here ok, I didn’t mean to be so loud, I’m sorry my love.” Remus attempted to soothe the animagus.
“Rem- Remus, What.. What are you doing here.” Sirius didn’t understand what he was doing here, hell Sirius didn’t even know what he himself was doing here let alone why Remus was waiting for him at his bedside. Perhaps it was a dream, that made the most sense it had to be a dream.
The lycanthrope just looked at the bedridden boy with a concerned look on his face, he was just about to say something when Madam Pomfey rushed over holding a handful of potions in her arms. “Mr. Black good to see you’re finally awake, you gave us all quite a scare.”
“What-” Now Srius was even more confused, perhaps this wasn’t a dream
Madam Pomfey just cut him off before he could even finish his question “Now Mr. Black, I’m going to need you to sit up so I can check your bandages, and then once you take the potions I give you, I will allow the rest of your friends to come in a see you before Professor McGonagall speaks to you. Am I clear?” the mediwitch asked with her usual kindness.
“Yea- yes.” Sirius said while nodding.
Remus reached his arms to help him sit up, confusing Sirius even more, what was happening, why was he here, why was he helping him? The thoughts were running a mile a minute through his head as Pomfey checked his wounds, muttering things that Sirius wasn't listening to every few seconds.
“Alight, Mr. Black, the cuts seem to be healing nicely, now if you just take these I’ll let in the rest of your friends.” the older woman said as she grabbed the potions she had previously placed down on the table next to the bed.
Sirius was hesitant to take them, wondering what they would do, but the pain in his head wasn’t getting any better so he figured it couldn’t get any worse as he reached out for the vails of colorful liquids proceeding to down each one of them.
Pomfey, then walked away leaving the two boys alone once again.
“What- what happened, why are you here?” Sirius asked as soon as the older woman was out of earshot.
“You don’t remember?” Remus questioned, concern clear in his voice.
What did he mean did he remember of course he did, the moment had repeated in his head ever since it had happened, shit Sirius didn’t know how long ago. “I remember what I did if that's what you’re asking, I couldn’t forget it if I tried.” Sirius mumbled that last part to himself.
“No not with Snape, in the forest.” no Sirius was confused, he remembered being in the forbidden forest quite a bit since it happened, but he didn’t remember Remus ever being there. “Pete, Reg, James, and I found you curled up in the forest, and you were... I mean, shit, Pads you can’t scare us like that, you can’t scare me like that.” Remus said looking like he was on the verge of tears.
Suddenly it all came rushing back, the days he spent hiding from everyone and everything, trying to be anything but himself. He remembered Peter, James, Regulus and Remus finding him there. But still, he didn’t understand, “I- I didn’t think you still cared about me like that anymore.”
“Of course, I still fucking care about you! How could you ever think that I would stop caring about you!” Remus raised his voice, causing a slight flinch from the older boy, “Shit, Pads I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have yelled like that.” the werewolf lifted Sirius's hand to his lips and kissed the bruised knuckles.
“But, I messed up, Snape knows, because of me.” Sirius managed to stumble out. He was so confused how Remus could manage to forgive him after what happened, after what he did.
“But it wasn’t your fault that you told him, and even if it was, I still love you. Even if I’m mad at you that doesn’t stop me from loving you.” Remus looked at Sirius with such love and devotion that it could be felt radiating off him.
“Oh… Wait, so we’re not broken up?” the older boy was still confused, Remus still loved him, he knew it wasn’t on purpose and he still cared about him.
“No. No, we are not broken up, I would never want that, I just wanted space to think, I should have communicated that better but I wasn’t thinking straight and-” Remus was now letting out all his ramblings in an attempt to try and keep both Sirius and his own head on.
“I would understand if you did want to tho. After what happened.” Sirius muttered quietly, as much as it hurt him to admit that he needed Remus to know that he had an out, that Sirius would understand if he couldn’t do this anymore.
“It wasn’t even your fault though, it's Snapes. He fucking used ligaments on you, which is against school rules by the way, and then you had a panic attack. Neither of those things are your fault. Ok?” Remus was now looking Sirius in the eyes while holding his face with his two scared hands.
“Yeah, ok. I love you Moony.”
“I love you too Padfoot.” Remus said leaning in to kiss the smaller boy just as their three friends came barling into the hospital wing.
“Padfoot!” James yelled running toward the bed, Sirius was sitting in. “You scared the shit out of us,” James said as he tackled the older boy back onto the bed. Before rolling over and plopping himself down next to Sirius.
“I’m sorry, I- I didn’t mean to.” Shit he messes everything up, he scared Remus, he upset James, he probably stressed out Regulus too.
“We’re not mad at Pads, we were just worried love, ok.” Remus spoke to him with such love and gentleness that it made Sirius want to cry. But it wasn’t until Remus reached up and brushed away a stray tear as it rolled down his cheek.
“I- yea, ok,” Sirius murmured as he leaned into the hand on his cheek, hoping it would never leave.
“Siri, I- I’m really glad you’re ok.” Regulus said looking at his brother, with tears in his eyes. He looked at Sirius with the same look he gave him after a beating from his mother. The same look he was extremely familiar with. He had kinda expected it, what he didn’t expect was the large hug that Regulus then gave him.
“But, um Padfoot we do need to talk to you, about well um, your cuts. Are they, did you hurt yourself again?” James asked with tears in his eyes the thought of his friend being hurt especially by himself caused him physical pain.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to and I tried not to, I tried so hard I promise, I really tried.” now Sirius was on the verge of tears again.
“Oh, Pads we’re not mad at you we promise, we just care about you a lot and we need you to be ok, and we promise that it will be because we’re gonna be here for you, as long as it takes.” Remus said with that loving look on his face, that was reserved only for Sirius.
Remus looked at Sirius and told him that everything was going to be ok, and Sirius knew that he could believe him.