I don't know
„Sirius, stop that leg-bouncing, it drives me crazy.“ Walburga flipped down the sun visor and checked her appearance in the mirror there.
„This drive is driving me crazy! Aren’t we there yet? We’ve been in the stupid car forever!“ Sirius pulled on his seatbelt, trying to find a more comfortable position while putting his legs up against the seat in front of him. He let out a large, aggravated breath.
„Put you legs down, i’m sure it’s disturbing Mr. Carrow.“ Flipping the visor back, Walburga half-turned in her seat and narrowed her eyes at her older son. Why couldn’t he just stay calm for at least half an hour? Why couldn’t he just fall asleep, like Regulus?
„It’s alright Mrs. Black, i don’t mind.“ Their driver, Mr. Carrow had the tiniest smile visible around his lips. Sirius quiet liked the elder man. When he and Reg were alone in the car with him, he always let them listen to whichever radiostation they liked.
Now Sirius face split into the biggest grin, directed at his mother, as he caught the drivers wink in the rearview mirror. Walburga turned back around with a sigh.
„Just stay put for a few minutes, at least, this drive sure is exhausting with you wriggling and turning every three seconds!“
„It’s not far anymore, now,“ Mr. Carrow let them know quietly.
Sirius sure hoped so. They’ve been stuck in the silly car for several hours already with absolutely insufficient stops for toilets or snacks and he had felt trapped and edgy the moment they left Vancouver city. How long could somebody survive sitting still in a car? He couldn’t for very long, that much was clear. Regulus had fallen asleep the moment they reached the highway and left Sirius with no distractions other than staring out the window, which wasn’t very exciting either after a while. He’d played with the little switches on the center console in the middle of the car but that – of course – had annoyed his mother so he’d tried to stop that – for a while at least.
All in all he was miserable.
He felt like a whole colony of ants crawled around inside of him, his clothes were too stuffy and wrinkly at the same time, he was hungry and thirsty, but he wasn’t allowed to drink anymore because they already had stopped way too often for the toilet (not in his eyes, of course). It was agony. Another 5 minutes and Sirius was sure to just explode. His fingers started tapping on the seat out of their own volition. It was quiet the nice rhythm, Sirius thought. In the passenger’s seat his mother let out a huff, then turned around again with daggers in her eyes.
„Sirius, i swear to god if you don’t stop moving, i leave you right here on the highway!“
„Do that then! I don’t care! Everything’s better than being stuck in this bloody car!“ Sirius wanted to say more but was cut off by a rather harsh smack on his thigh.
„You’re not swearing in this car with me, young man. And put your feet down, now.“ After another stern glance at her son, Walburga turned around again.
Sirius felt even more angry words coming while putting his feet down, but then a little tug at his hand changed his focus. He turned his head and saw his sleep-tousled brother looking at him with imploring eyes. Thank heavens Reg was awake again!
Sirius just concentrated on the feeling of Reg’s hand in his. They were slowly playing catch with their fingers, or just tickling each other a tiny little bit on the palms, silently smiling at the other.
After a while of quiet in the car, Sirius thought it couldn’t hurt to talk again.
„Where are we driving to, anyway?“
„We’re going on a holiday, i’ve told you already.“ Walburga sounded half asleep.
„Yes, but we’re never driving all over the country to go on holidays, we’re always taking the plane to some exotic other places!“
„Well, we do now. And now stop talking i want to sleep a little before we arrive.“
Sirius wondered what kind of holiday this could be, also, where was their father? Shouldn’t he be there for the holiday? At least Michelle was coming along, she was asleep in the second row of seats behind him. Still enjoying the feeling of Reg’s warm hand in his own, Sirius finally closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, too.
***
The arrival of the Black family at the Lupin Ranch, a few kilometers outside a little village called Savona, was very quiet. Sirius was still asleep. Walburga and Michelle just woke up. The only one who had stared at the beautiful landscape with marvelous eyes – they’ve driven alongside a glittering lake for about half an hour after all – besides the driver, was Regulus. And as he, of course, was quiet, their arrival was too.
„Shall i take out the luggage already?“ Mr. Carrow had one hand on the drivers door, waiting for instructions.
„A minute please, Mr. Carrow. Let’s just enjoy the quiet as long as it’s lasting. God knows we don’t get enough of that.“ Walburga let her head tip against the seat and closed her eyes again.
In the backseat, Regulus was looking at his sleeping brother with a fond smile playing around his lips.
***
„Hello, welcome! I take it you’re the Black family?“ Once they were all out of the car, a young woman came bustling down the steps of the front porch of a large country-style building. Lots of wood. Colorful knitted carpets in between a bench and a few scattered around miss-matched chairs beside the front door. Heaps of roses ranking along and pots of herbs or flowers everywhere. Her honey-blonde hair was up in a pony-tail and she was smiling at the newcomers with friendly eyes.
„How was the drive? I’m Hope Lupin by the way, we’ve talked on the phone.“ The woman – Hope – held out her hand to shake. Walburga took it, looking a bit taken aback by the rush of words.
„The drive was too long!“ Sirius grumbled next to his mother, who gifted him with a stern look. Hope chuckled. „Oh yes i believe that! I’m sure it was horrible to sit for so long!“
„See mum? She gets it!“ Sirius quiet liked this woman from that very moment.
„Yes, Sirius, horrible is quiet the fitting description.“ Walburga pursed her lips and met her son’s eyes with a scolding glare. Hope’s eyes flicked between the two with slightly raised eyebrows. She quietly cleared her throat.
„Shall i give you all a quick tour around the house, then the kids can play outside while we have a chat and a cup of tea?“
„I’m sure that’s fine with the boys. Michelle – you can take the tour with them. I will quickly change, it seems my clothes are rather unfitting for this place.“ Walburga looked down at her – still quiet elegant - heeled shoes and wrinkled her nose at the dusty, gravelly path that led away from the house into the gardens.
Sirius watched Hope’s reaction to his mother’s words, but either she didn’t seem to notice the condescending tone of her voice, or she didn’t care. Both was quiet fine with him. He hated it when other grown-ups seemed to shrink in front of his mother. He didn’t like being the only one standing up to her all the time…
***
„Alright, Sirius, Regulus – want to come along and meet the rabbits? Just follow me… a few cheeky goats running around too, so mind your pockets. They like to steal, you know?“ At this Regulus looked at Sirius with wide eyes and quickly slipped his hand into that of his brother. Hope winked at them both. Regulus didn’t quiet know how to take that – what was there to wink about stealing goats? Wasn’t that supposed to be a bad thing? But this weird, friendly woman (she was friendly, right? Sirius seemed quiet happy with the situation, Regulus could see that) was already talking again. She really seemed to have a lot to say, Regulus could hardly keep up. This was all important stuff to remember, right? He didn’t want to get lost on a farm or eaten by a goat, maybe...
„Is that fine with you too, Michelle? Or do you need to freshen up first? We could always go for a quick stop in the house?“ Sirius grinned at that, this Hope woman sure knew how to play with words.
„I’m fine Mrs. Lupin.“ Michelle quickly answered, to which Mrs. Lupin only smiled and told the young woman to please call her ‚Hope‘.
***
„Are you sure you will be alright out here for a while? Michelle please watch them closely. Regulus, watch out not to fall and Sirius, well - listen to Michelle and don’t make a mess i beg you. Don’t climb over fences or go into places you’re not supposed to go…“ Walburga wrinkled her forehead as if the endless possibilities of Sirius wrecking havoc around the ranch already gave her a headache.
„I’m sure they will be fine, Mrs. Black. My son’s their age, he’ll show up eventually, too. They can keep each other company while we’re talking.“ Hope gave everyone an encouraging smile, then pointed towards the entry of the house. Walburga let out an audible sigh.
„Alright then. Sirius – don’t -“
„Mum! I won’t! I’m not stupid, you know!“ Sirius rolled his eyes and marched off the porch steps, only looking back to beckon Reg along who quickly followed his footsteps.
***
Even with Michelle’s instructions to watch them closely, Sirius had somehow managed to get away for a bit. Regulus was sitting on a self-made wooden swing, hanging from long long ropes – Sirius had never seen such a long (or high?) swing. The ropes at least were fastened to a tree branch way up high and Michelle was pushing a happily smiling Reg, Sirius could still see him swinging slowly up and down in the distance. Walking around a bit, he had found himself outside of a seemingly endless pasture – he at least couldn’t even see the end of it, no matter which side he looked. There, at the edge of his vision, he could just about make out a bunch of horses, almost too far away to see clearly. Horses! There were even horses! Sirius loved this whole place! Hope had shown them around the ranch a little before, with the very cute rabbits in their enclosure, some cats here and there and even the ‚cheeky goats‘ – which were quiet nice, honestly. Even Reg dared to pet them a little. And there was just so much room! Open space, hiding places, bushes, a sandpit – but it wasn’t just this little box that all the other kids’ gardens had, it was a huge area of sand and gravel with a little metal digger to sit on! And a pump! Was there even water? Sirius was in heaven. He didn’t even mind the long drive anymore, had he known it was this place they would end up – he wouldn’t have complained so much about sitting still in the car in the first place.
Now squinting his eyes against the sun to get a better look at the horses – they were too far away but he didn’t dare to climb the fence to get closer, these animals were quiet large, after all – he wondered whether they would be able to pet or even ride them sometime. Like cowboys! Wouldn’t that be awesome? But wait – wasn’t there a little kid in between these horses? Or was that a trick of the light? Now it was gone again, another, this time smaller looking horse, in its place.
Sirius rubbed his eyes and furrowed his brows staring across the meadow. There was no mistaking it now, the kid – a boy – marched straight towards him now, flanked by a horse on each side! As the rather unusual group came nearer, Sirius could see the two horses clearly. One big, dark brown horse on one side and a little foal!! with a white spot on it’s forehead on the other. Oh my! Sirius couldn’t remember being this excited in his life! Maybe the day Reg was born? But he couldn’t quiet remember and now the little group was only a stone’s throw away from him. Sirius stared open mouthed at the boy around his own age approaching him. He looked so different! First of all, he had no shoes! Barefoot! Outside! In a pasture! Wasn’t that dirty? Sirius couldn’t hold back a wide smile now. This looked so fun! Then the boy was only wearing some cut-off shorts with a big hole – a hole! - in one of the legs and a rather spotty shirt. This boy looked every bit the rascal his mother would never willingly let into the house. And his hair was a mess! Honey-blond curls everywhere and freckles across his nose and cheeks! Reg sometimes got a few pale freckles during the summer but this was something else. But how was this boy allowed inside the pasture? With the horses? Did he belong to the farm? Just as the boy and horses stopped on the other side of the fence the words started tumbling out of Sirius’ mouth already.
“Do you live here?”
The boy looked at him with a slightly confused expression on his face. Then he looked at the horses next to him for quiet some time, then back to Sirius. He shrugged his shoulders slightly, saying
“I don’t know.”
Sirius, for the first time in his life, didn’t know what to say.
***
“I don’t know.”
Remus took this foreign boy in with a doubtful glance. Was that the right thing to say? Always with the weird questions. Did he live here? Here meaning the pasture? Did he live in the pasture? Well surely not, but he lived with the horses, right? He spend almost all his time here. So did that mean he lived here? He didn’t know for sure so he could only say so. Besides, weren’t they supposed to say ‘hello’ first?
***
Slightly taken aback by the freckled boy’s weird answer, Sirius blinked a few times then tried again:
“What are you doing?” This time, he didn’t have to wait for his answer at all.
“I’m standing here. With Mari and Spot.” The boy looked towards the foal and reached out a hand to gently touch its side. The foal continued grazing. This boy for sure did give the strangest answers. Like riddles. Sirius liked riddles.
“You’re standing there. With Mari and Spot.” Sirius tried to get the boy’s attention again.
“Yes.” The boy looked at Sirius with big searching eyes now. The expression reminded him of Reg, somehow.
“Okay. Can I come in, too?”
“No. But you can put your hand through the fence and say hello.” The boy clearly tried to smile but it looked a little wonky. Sirius didn’t mind. He was about to touch these amazing animals, what did he care how wonky or not a smile looked? He reached out through the fence and wriggled his hands. At once the little foal looked up and froze.
“Hold still.” The boy grabbed one of Sirius’ hands and turned it palm down, gently bending the fingers down a bit, too.
“Like this. Now exhale, a little.” Remus blew out his breath slowly, looking at Sirius encouragingly. Sirius had never in his whole life done anything like that. He tried to exhale, looking at the other boy but the whole situation had him giggling within seconds.
“Did I tickle your hand?”
“No, why?”
“Because you’re giggling.” Sirius couldn’t help himself anymore, a full laugh bubbling out of him now. Realizing the other boy was staring at him rather confused again, he quickly calmed down and stretched out his hand a little further. Blowing out through his mouth just like the boy did before, he looked up again.
“Am I doing it right now?”
“Yes.” The boy made a clicking noise with his tongue. “Come here, Mari.” He held his own hand in front of Sirius’ and - what a miracle – the big brown horse took a step towards the fence and gently touched first the boy’s hand, then started sniffing Sirius’ own. And oh what a feeling! Sirius thought his heart might swell out of his chest. The horse’s muzzle was so so soft and it took its time to examine Sirius hand quiet thoroughly. Inhaling and exhaling, too, nostrils widening. Then it let out a long snort and turned a little to continue grazing.
“She says you’re alright. You can ride her, sometime, if you want.” The boy had a genuine smile playing around his lips now. Also his eyes, they looked smiling, too. Like twinkling stars. Sirius felt this happy thing in his chest, the same he got with Reg sometimes. He couldn’t help but smile, too.
“I’d like that.”
***