we'll all be here forever

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Love had always been a complex concept for Harry. He'd grown up without a single soul to bleed love into him, yet it oozed from his every pore all the same. Call it the blessing of his mother's sacrificial magic curse, call it the blind optimism he'd inherited from his father - from what those who knew James best said, at the least - but the fact remained. 

Harry had always given love freely, openly, in some instinctual way that he could never quite name. Perhaps some intrinsic part of his being knew that someday, he'd love the right people hard enough that they'd love him back. 

And oh, did they ever. 

The people who loved him - who truly loved Harry James Potter as a human being, and not just hero-worshipped the saviour of the Wizarding world - made all the years of aching need more than worth it. 

Everything had been worth it, to get to where he was. 

Becoming a father had been the most natural transition in the world. Finally, he was where he was supposed to be. The only place he'd ever truly belonged - which was saying a lot, considering the whole 'destined to save the aforementioned wizarding world' of it all. 

From the moment he'd first placed a hand on Ginny’s stomach and felt his son stirring within, he had belonged. Needless to say, Harry had thrown every ounce of the tenacity and dedication he was known for into his children. Their first steps, first words, first time on a broom, first nightmare, Harry was by their side for all of it. 

When Ginny got sick and he knew his sons and daughter would need him more than ever, he handed in his auror badge on the spot and finally accepted the position McGonagall had been urging him to take for over a decade. 

He left Grimmauld Place in the care of Ron and his wife Hannah, bought a home in the country near Hogsmeade where Ginny could rest and recover, and stepped into Hogwarts as the new DADA professor just in time to watch his oldest son be sorted into Gryffindor. 

Little Jamie was a lion. Of course he was.

Harry loved all of his children, indelibly so, and as three vastly different individuals, they each held a special place in his heart. Still, he'd be a liar if he said that first kid wasn't a different feeling altogether.

The first baby you ever held in your arms, knowing he was yours. The first time you felt both the love and the sense of responsibility that comes along with being a parent, it changed you. When Albus came along, and then Lily, he'd felt nothing short of just as powerful in his love and dedication to them. 

Still, Jamie was the first. It mattered, in a way he couldn't name. 

And, in accordance with all the other firsts James represented, he'd be the first to leave. 

Harry had lucked out, if one could call it that, when life had shifted and he'd made the decision to teach. Unlike nearly every other parent he knew, save for Neville, he didn't have to feel the weight of saying goodbye. His kids lived in the dormitories, as was customary, but he saw them every day, and was able to bend the rules via the Floo in his office any time he pleased if one of them was feeling homesick or wanted more time with their mother. 

When Ginny passed, the summer James turned fourteen, he'd been stoic, responsible, the biggest help in the world, until Harry finally placed a hand on his shoulder a few days after the funeral and reminded him that he was just a kid, too. That it wasn't his job to be strong. 

James had simply nodded, then promptly fell apart. Two years later, when the love he'd left behind in his youth - due to wartime politics and lines drawn in the sand, and the folly of teenage boys kissing in alcoves and then ignoring one another to chase girls in an attempt to prove to themselves they weren’t into boys - came crashing back into Harry's life in the manic, frenzied way that only Theodore Nott could, James had bristled and glared, until Harry sat him down and simply told him that it was okay to be afraid of change. 

James had folded again. He'd always been that way. The type of kid who seemed determined to carry the weight of the world on his shoulders, who needed that one person in his life - his Dad, of course - who would always step in to tell him it was okay to slow down, to be soft, to fail, to not know the answers.

And, as of two weeks ago, to tell him it was okay to go.  

It had nearly killed Harry to paste on a smile and reassure his son when it went against every instinct in his body. Theo had been there that night, the moment their guests had left, to shove a glass of firewhisky into Harry's hand and throw up a silencing charm just in time for him to break. 

He'd lost his shit, screaming his fears, his worries, weeping openly. 

It was so far.  

Too fucking far . 

True to form, though, just as he'd done since they were just two little knobby-kneed kids chasing one another through her grandmother's rose garden, where Cassie Granger-Malfoy ran headfirst into the fray - just like her mother always did - James followed - just as his father always had. 

The ring on Cassie's finger had come as a surprise to exactly nobody, save for Albus, who'd always been a bit behind on social dynamics, and who - to his defense - was quite busy chasing a certain Granger-Malfoy of his own. Scorpius and Al were, also, a surprise to exactly nobody, save for maybe themselves.

What had shocked them all was the plan Cassie and James eagerly gushed out, all smiles and giggles and wind-burnt cheeks from their anniversary trip to the seaside. They'd met a couple at the market in the little village they'd gone away to, and the rest was history. 

The muggle couple was on holiday after two years in the Peace Corps. Harry could see, without even needing the help of a penseive, the way Cassie's eyes must have lit up when they'd gone for dinner with the older couple and learned all about the concept. 

And so it was set. Two years, building a school for girls in a remote village, along with other details Harry had blocked out the second James had said 'we're leaving.'  

Gods, he was so proud of his boy, and the girl he loved like a niece, more than anything in the world.

But this fucking hurt.

Twenty years in a flash. You never think it will end until it does. You hear the warnings, all the parents who have been through it saying 'slow down and enjoy it' or 'they'll be grown before you know it' but it never seems real until it happens. 

The days had been so long, but the years flew by too fast.

And now here he was, leaning against the porch post with his arms crossed over his chest, faking a smile as he watched Theo and Hermione fuss through a million utterances of 'one last picture' as Draco mirrored Harry's stance, leaning back against the car - Malfoy's obsession with muggle sports cars was one Harry still got a kick out of - as he waited to drive the two young lovebirds to the station. 

They shared a look, he and his former nemesis turned reluctant friend, an understanding passing between them. 

Nobody knew what this was like until it happened to theirs.  

Harry took a breath, stepping forward as James rushed back over for one last hug. Wrapping his arms around the boy who had taught him what unconditional love meant, Harry squeezed a bit too tight, clung a bit too long. 

Who could blame him, though?

When they finally broke apart, James glanced back toward where Cassie now stood, chatting animatedly to her Dad, then looked back at him with an all-too familiar expression. 

Instinct. 

Parenting had always been instinctual for Harry. It wasn't the same for everyone, nor was it the measure of what made one a good parent. But for him, it had been his greatest satisfaction in life, to have it all come so naturally to him. 

In this moment, despite the tempest of emotions swirling in his gut, despite the tears he'd shed in the shower a mere hour ago, despite every desire to cling, to keep, to hold, Harry did what he'd always done. 

He followed the instinct, and gave his son what he needed. 

"None of that, now, Jamie." Harry shook his head, placing a hand on James' shoulder. "This is your time. Yours and Cassie's. Go off, now, and save the world. S'pose it's in the blood, aye?"

"Yeah." James nodded, clearing his throat. "I just... you're not mad? That we made this choice so suddenly, or that we're - that I'm leaving?"

"Never." Harry shook his head and wrapped his arms around James' shoulders, pulling him back into his chest. "I could never be angry with you. Losing you is tough, but you're the greatest thing we've lost. And home will always be waiting."

"Ah, come on, Dad." James pulled back, giving Harry that lopsided grin that screamed his own place amidst all the greatness this boy carried. "You're not losing me. It's only two years." 

Harry nodded, swallowing through the lump in his throat. He wanted to correct him - to explain that parenting is loss, just as much as it is gain, over and over. To tell him that he'd spent the last twenty years saying goodbye to all the people he'd watched James grow through, from the tiny little boy that fit in his arms to the toddler who clung to his leg, all the way through to the man who stood in front of him today. 

But James was a man now. He'd understand some day, and some things simply needed to be gone through, to get.

So, Harry simply smiled as he reached out to ruffle that familiar, messy mop of black hair. 

"You're right, Jamie. I'm so proud of you. Your mother would be, too. You're gonna go far, kid." He wiped away the tear he felt no shame in having let fall, watching as James did the same.

"I love you so much, Dad." James whispered, leaning in for one last hug.

Harry squeezed him back, then released him, nodding over his shoulder as Cassie called for them to hurry it along.

"Love you too. Now go, Jamie. Get your girl. Save the world. We'll all be here forever." 

"Right. Save the world. I can do that." James cast one last long look over his shoulder at the woman he was off to build a life with, then looked back to his father.

"I learned from the best, after all." 

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