Sirius sat on his bed reading one of the many muggle magazines he'd gotten over the summer. He'd read it so many times that he knew it scentens by scentens by now. But it was his favorite so it always ended with him reading this one even though he had others he hadn't even read yet.
He had a record playing in the background and Remus was sitting on his own bed doing the transfiguration essay that was due tomorrow.
The door opened and James and Peter came in. James was practicly jumping when they entered.
"What got you all bouncy?" Remus asked and James looked like it was that exact question thay wanted cause their smile grew while they bounced into the room and onto Sirius' bed. Peter followed and sat down on his own bed while answering the question for them "They think we should have a party."
He didn't sound that exited about it wich Sirius thought was weird cause he thought it was an amazing idea.
"Ohhh, when? We don't have anything to celebrate." James looked about as exited as Sirius felt "I thought like saturday and I don't think you have to have anything to celebrate to throw a party, and if you feel like we should celebrate something we can celebrate that Slughorn didn't missgender me once during todays lesson."
They smiled even bigger than before, witch was impressive cause their mouth didn't look like it could turn more upwards than that.
"That's great mate we should defenitly celebrate that. We could invite the other houses to. It could be fun with more people."
James gave him a sceptical look "You just want more hookup options, but sure we can invite the other houses too."
He knew James didn't mean anything by it but it still stung a little. He wasn't just some slut who only cared about shagging.
He thought for a while that he couldn't actually catch feelings for anyone and that's why he started, he needed to feel something and if he just shagged everyone he would eventually find someone who he actually liked, right?
Unfortnatly life wasn't that simple and when he actually caught feelings for someone it wasn't one of his many hookups, but one of his best friends.
He heard James laughing at something Peter said and snaped out from his thoughts.
They stayed like that for a while, talking until James decided that they needed their sleep.
The days leading up to the party went by fast. Remus and Sirius stocked up on their alcohol and they spread the message about the party to the entire school that wouldn't turn them in.
The day of the party Sirius, James, Mary, Lily and Marlene sat in the marauders doorm getting ready. Sirius was doing his eyeliner when Mary sat down next to him.
"So, how many girls are you kissing today?" Sirius finshied his first eye with a sigh and turned to face Mary. "I'm not." She looked a little confused by that. "What do you mean your not? I thought that was the whole reason we were inviting the other houses."
Sirius looked at her with a tired look "I'm not getting with any girl and that wasn't the reason I wanted to invite the other houses. I just thought it would be fun with a little new people."
Mary didn't look like she belived him but she seemed to acsept his exuse.
"Okay so if your not hooking up with anyone tonight I'm asuming you have another reason that you want to get drunk."
"No i don't."
Yes i do.
"Yes you do."
Fuck, why could Mary read him so well.
"No i don't."
"Stop lying you wanker, i know you do."
"Okay i do have a reason but it's not important."
She gave him a quick once over before deciding on something.
"You like someone."
"No i don't." But he knew that it wasn't any use pretending. He could hear the panic in his voice and Mary defenetly wouldn't miss that. She waited for him to continue.
"Okay, i do. But it's not going anywhere so it doesn't matter." His voice was lower now so the others wouldn't hear him over the music and chatter.
Mary looked like she just won at the lottery.
"Ohh, common you have to at least try before you call it a lost cause." He looked at her quietly while she slowly figgured it out.
"Is it Remus?!" She whispered after a minute or so.
He could feel his cheeks grow hot and his eyes went to his hands. "Yes" he answered quietly.
"Oh" she was quiet for a couple of seconds "Well that for sure makes it a little more compliced."
"Yeah"
They didn't say much after that. They just finished their makeup and talked to their other friends about meaningless drama.
After maybe 20 minutes they finished up and went downstairs to the party that just had started.
There were mostly gryfindors so long but it slowly dropped in more people.
Sirius sat propped up between Remus and Lily on the sofa with a drink in his hand. Remus was already three drinks in while Sirius still was on his first so he needed to catch up if he didn't want any akward situations.
That often happened when only one of them was drunk. Someone said something, often the most drunk one and then it just got akward. Sirius didn't want that so he downed the rest of his drink and went up to refill.
At the drink table he found James who was very obviously checking one of the people who had just arrived. It was a group of Slytherins.
"Who are you checking out." James seemed to relise what they were doing and shifted their entire body away from the Slytherins.
"No one." They said and looked for some weird reason really guilty.
Sirius gave them a look that said 'i saw you looking tell me who it was'.
James looked down at his feet and mumbled something. "Sorry, i didn't hear you." James gave him a tired look and looked down at his shoes again "Regulus."
Sirius almost spit out his drink that he'd just taken a sip from.
"Out of all people. You check out Regulus!?"
"Yeah, he's really hot." James mumbled.
"Ew, he's my baby brother, James. With focus on the BABY!"
"He's not a baby Sirius, he's sixteen! Plus he's really hot and i think... i think i might like him."
Oh.
"Oh"
"Yeah"
"You've shagged him, haven't you?" James' cheeks went bright red.
"Yeah .... twice"
"TWICE!? Why didn't you tell me James? I would've, i don't know, helped you...seduce him, or something."
James looked like they didn't think that would be his reaction at all because they looked a little choked.
"I thought you would be angry. And we haven't really talked about it. I don't even know if he likes me back. And i don't even thinks he knows i'm nonbinary cause we didn't actually talk that much."
"James i can promise you that Regulus isn't one to do casual hookups witch probably means that he likes you back."
"You think so?" James looked so small when they where anxious and it kinda broke Sirius' heart.
"Yeah, you should go talk to him."
"Yeah i will, but only if you go back to flirting with Remus."
"I-I was not flirting with him!" He spluttered, but of course James knew. "Keep telling yourself that." They said before taking a deep breath and walking over to the Slytherin's who where all sitting in a group on the other side of the room.
He took another sip of his drink before pouring on a little more and walking back over to the sofa where Remus and Lily were discusing some celebrity drama. Sirius sat down between them, practicly on Remus and snuggled up a little against him while he continued his conversation with Lily.
Two hours and a lot of alcohol later Sirius was laying in Remus' lap on the floor while Remus was brushing his hands through Sirius' hair.
He could see James and Regulus in a corner, they were snogging really intensly. Sirius looked away, he really didn't need to see that.
He looked at Remus instead who was looking right back.
They stared for some time before Remus leaned down to talk in Sirius' ear. "You wanna go somewhere quieter?"
Sirius noded and sat up. He helped Remus up and together they staggered through the common room towards the portrait hole.
Once they'd gotten away from all the sound Sirius asked "Where are we going?"
"Astronomy tower."
"Comon then" He said and took Remus' hand. They walked hand in hand all the way to the astronomy tower and when they were there they sat down next to eachother on the floor.
He knew he was staring but he couldn't bring himself to stop. Not even when Remus turned away from the sky to look at him.
They stared at eachother for a long while. Their faces where really close, they only needed to tip forward a little bit and all of a sudden they were kissing.
It started light but then it grew more intense.
It was hot and desperate and Sirius relised that this was what he'd wanted all along. Remus. Just Remus.