Chapter 12
chapter twelve
lily
They’d been driving for a while now, and Google Maps was leading them down a very suspicious-looking forest path. The late afternoon sun had dipped just below the line of the trees, sending bands of light streaming through the leaves. Lily squinted at the map.
“In five hundred feet, turn left!” chirped the robotic voice (who they’d named Gertrude a few hours ago). Okay, maybe they were a little delirious. They’d been driving for a while. Mary had figured out her new crocheting technique, and the little square had doubled in size in the last thirty minutes. “In one hundred feet—”
“Okay, you need to shut up,” Lily said, powering her phone off. “I think I can figure it out.”
“Hey, what did Gertrude do to you?” Mary asked blearily from her nest of snack packets and discarded layers of clothing.
“Gertrude’s a little bitch,” Lily said, staring at the sign on the side of the road. She looked up suddenly, struck with an epiphany. “Wow, I really am my father’s daughter. He always gets really mad at Google Maps and is too stubborn to listen to it. Once, we ended up going in the completely wrong direction for five hours.”
“Yeah, he sure reminds me of someone,” Mary teased.
“Shh!” Lily stuck her tongue out. Looking back at the road, she noticed a sign that said Campsites this way! It was just barely six, so they could eat some of the food Lily had packed and then maybe walk down the lake. The car rumbled over the bumpy gravel, shaking the two girls inside it like beads in a maraca. They pulled into the small lot, and Lily turned her key in the ignition. She threw her door open and stepped out into the fresh air. “Ah, this is nice.”
“Mmm,” Mary made a noise of agreement, getting out to stand beside Lily.
“So,” Lily clapped her hands. “Ramen?”
“Yeah!”
Lily got out a pot and the girls wandered off in search of a spigot to fill it up. The other campsites were relatively full, the soft murmur of families laughing together in the early evening filling the woods. They found a spigot eventually (they left with the pot full but their entire bodies soaked—it was less of a spigot and more an out of control power-washer), and tramped back to their site, laughing.
Lily crouched at the fire circle, willing herself to remember how to build a campfire. Couldn’t be that hard, right? Mary walked over, dumping an armful of firewood at Lily’s feet. Lily took matches and scrap paper out of a fire kit bag she’d packed at some point, and arranged the logs in a messy triangle. She shoved a wad of paper in the center, flicking a match and setting it ablaze.
“Wow,” Mary said, sitting down beside her. “You’re good at that.”
Lily didn’t feel it was necessary to mention she had no idea what she was doing. “Thanks,” she smiled. “Could you get the rack? It’s in the back, behind my bag.” Mary gave her a thumbs up, and walked over to lean into the back of the open van.
“This?” she called, holding out a black metal stand with a grated top to put a pot on.
“Yup!” Lily placed it over the fire, setting the pot on top. “It’ll probably take a while for the water to boil. Mary sat cross-legged beside her, flicking twigs into the blaze.
“Did you camp a lot as a kid? I couldn’t build a fire even if I wanted to,” Mary joked, swatting a bright red ember away from Lily’s hair.
“Not with my family,” Lily explained. “I went to a summer camp for a few years. They taught us stuff like this. Y’know, how to start a fire, woodcarving, swimming skills, all that jazz.” Mary nodded, and began slowly feeding dry, dead moss to the fire (this seemed like a very Marlene thing to do. Lily supposed it made sense that they had rubbed off on each other after spending so much time together. For some infuriating, inexplicable reason, Lily found this endearing. She was beginning to think everything Mary did was endearing). The water started to bubble, and Lily carefully took the pot off the fire and poured it into their ramen cups.
Lily’s phone buzzed in her pocket as she waited for the noodles to cook. Taking her eyes off Mary for a moment, she opened her text messages.
Alice
6:21
YO
HOW U DOIN
You
6:23
GOOD
Alice
6:23
how's the homo van working out for you and mary
You
6:24
ALICE
WHAT THE FUCK
DON’T CALL IT THAT
Lily actually set her phone down, feeling uncomfortably warm. She shuddered. Mary raised an eyebrow at her, and she waved a hand in dismissal. “I’m fine.” She picked her phone back up.
Alice
6:25
that’s what it is tho i fear
cissa and i have spent many a road trip in that van
You
6:26
I AM GOING TO GOUGE OUT MY EYES
YOU’RE SO MEAN
Alice
6:26
ur certainly having an interesting reaction to this information
You
6:27
IM JUST PROCESSING THE FACT THAT LESBIAN SEX HAS HAPPENED IN THIS VAN GEEZ
I was living in ignorant bliss before this moment
I’m gonna tell Cissa you’re bullying me
Alice
6:28
NO WAIT
I DONT WABT TO SLEEP ON TGE COUJH LILY PLEASW
You
6:28
YOU DID THIS TO YOURSELF FOOL
Lily wasn’t actually going to tell Narcissa. She just wanted to make Alice squirm a little. She deserved it. She set her phone face-down, deciding not to look at it again that night for fear Alice would say some other horrifying thing like the van was infested with cockroaches or something.
Lily looked at Mary, who was blowing on her ramen. She caught Lily’s eye over the rim of her cup and smirked. Shit.
chapter twelve
mary
After a while, the girls changed and then walked down to the lake in bathing suits and shorts. Mary chattered about one thing or another the entire time, and Lily quietly looked at the setting sun and dark green trees, rubbing the pad of her thumb over the strap of her camera bag, and offered sarcastic commentary every few minutes. The lake was relatively quiet—most of the families camping there had either already gone back to eat dinner, or they were sitting on the shore and resting, legs and arms caked in sand.
Lily sat down on the small beach, crossing her legs. Mary was momentarily rendered speechless by how gorgeous she was—her hair fell in light waves, and she had more freckles on her shoulders and arms than Mary’d expected, and she was wearing a green bikini whose straps were tied in bows at her shoulders and God, Mary was well and truly fucked. Mary cleared her throat, and kicked a bit of wet sand onto Lily’s legs, smirking.
“C’mon, let’s swim!” Mary giggled, grabbing Lily’s arms and tugging her up.
Lily flicked Mary’s nose. “Fiiine.”
“Race you!”
Mary got there first, but as she turned around to gloat, Lily splashed water right at her. Mary gasped, water dripping off her nose. “You CUNT!” She cackled, splashing water back at Lily. Lily dove under the water to avoid the spray, and Mary could see through the rippling surface Lily flipping her off.
Lily came up for air a moment later, gasping and laughing. Her hair swirled around her like a mermaid’s. Mary’s heart thumped.
Lily stuck her tongue out at her, and Mary realized she must have been staring for too long. “D’you wanna swim out to the raft?” She gestured out to the floating red metal platform that was maybe twenty feet away from her. Saved it. Lily’s attention was successfully redirected, and she started swimming towards the raft. Mary pressed the back of her hands to her cheeks, trying to cool herself down, before following her.
They clambered onto the raft, dripping water all over. “Oh!” Lily gasped, pointing to the sunset. “I wish I had my camera. It’s so beautiful.” You’re beautiful, Mary wanted to reply. Instead, she dragged her eyes away from Lily and looked at the sky, and thought the crimson and orange hues looked like Lily’s hair. She shivered a little as a breeze blew over them.
Lily looked at Mary. “It’s frigid, isn’t it?”
“Yep,” Mary pursed her lips and wrapped her arms around herself, trying to raise her body temperature a little. Somehow, all the warmth had seemed to have gone to her cheeks, which was unfair. Mary looked at Lily, who was smiling. “It’s going to suck to try and dry off before bed.”
“Shh, I don’t even want to think about that,” Lily shushed her, laughing a little. “If the van gets water damaged I think Alice will literally skin me alive. Anyway…” She leaned back, kicking her feet gently in the water. Mary’s eyes traced the freckles covering her thighs, and looked back up at Lily when she started talking again. “I’m… happy you came with me. I feel like I really needed this.”
Mary smiled, softening. She gently curled her pinky finger around Lily’s, shocked at her own boldness. For someone who had yet to have a successful romance, Mary sure seemed confident. Her self-assurance was probably misplaced, Mary thought dryly, before responding, “I’m glad I came too. How many pictures have you taken with that camera?” Mary nudged her teasingly.
“A feeew,” Lily dragged out the “e”, looking away and grinning. “I can show you when we get back, if you want.”
“For sure!” Mary said. “Actually, that reminds me…” She was rambling again, but Lily didn’t look bothered. Instead, she leaned back and looked at Mary softly, like she was trying to commit Mary’s image to memory. The thought made Mary stumble over her words a little, but she didn’t think Lily noticed—and if she did, she didn’t look annoyed. Something about them was so easy, so gentle—Mary wished these moments could last forever.
A thought came to Mary. She could count the freckles on Lily’s cheeks—they were sitting close enough together, that she’d only have to lean forward…
Mary shook her head a little. No. Lily probably didn’t want that. It would be unfair of her to assume, to push Lily into something. Maybe if Mary had been as perceptive as she thought herself to be, she would have noticed Lily’s glances lingering and flushed cheeks—but after all, she was just another teenager, wrapped up in her own emotions and practically blind to those of the people around her.
“Well, most of the time we spent in mock trial was basically just playing card games and eating junk food,” Lily joked. “But I really did like the more serious things we did. We got to talk to a real lawyer a few times, and all of the trips were always fun.”
“Mmm, yeah,” Mary said. “We had big trips twice in secondary school for choir. To be honest, I never really heard much about mock trial. But it sounds nice. You want to be a lawyer, right?”
“Yeah,” Lily’s expression shifted to one of fierce determination, like she’d been defending this goal her entire life.
“I think you’ll be amazing at it,” Mary said genuinely. Lily softened a little.
“Well, anyway,” Lily said. “I want to go into criminal justice, specifically. So, y’know, I can defend other women. That’s really all I’ve wanted to do my whole life.”
“I think that’s admirable, to have such a clear dream. I don’t really have that.” Mary laughed. “So, good for you. Seriously.” She smiled.
Lily pursed her lips, frowning. “I feel like I’ve told you this before, but you don’t need to talk about yourself like that. You’re really amazing, Mary. Trust me.” I’ll believe anything you tell me, Mary thought. God, she sure was getting sappy. She’d never felt this mushy about any of the guys she’d dated over the years—but maybe she was the common denominator. Maybe there was nothing wrong with them, and something different about her.
~~~
Marlene avoided Mary’s eyes. “Well… we’re… she’s my girlfriend. I… like girls. I’m a lesbian.”
I’m a lesbian.
~~~
Mary’s stomach flipped. Lily looked at her with soft eyes, and Mary thought the image of Lily’s face, and the gentle curve of her smile had burned itself into her brain like a tattoo. They were only inches apart, and Mary thought she saw Lily scoot a little closer. And then their faces were so close Mary could feel Lily’s shaky breath on her cheek—and Mary’s arm, which she’d moved to brace herself slipped on the slick metal—
Mary fell into the icy lake with a massive splash.
She kicked and squirmed, reaching the surface. Mary gasped, spitting water out of her mouth and pinching her nose, and then burst out laughing at the sheer ridiculousness of it all.
“Oh my god, are you okay?” Lily gasped, dropping into the water beside her and putting her hands on Mary’s shoulders shakily.
“I’m fine,” Mary giggled. She might have been a little hysterical. “The water’s just really fucking cold.”
Lily nodded, shivering.
“Wanna go back to the van and wrap ourselves in blankets?”
“I thought you’d never ask.”