“It had passed two years since Voldemort tried to kill us when we started to plan it. But i personally think we need the entire story behind this, so let me get started.
as it is well known, My wife and i managed to escape with our son, Harry, so the death eaters couldn’t reach us. We went out the uk, and arrived in Spain, my native country, on the fourth of November of that year, 1981. We kept in touch with the order members. And wih Dumbledore itself. I still can’t believe we trusted him, that fucking bstard. I can’t believe we thought he could protect us-”
“James, dear, stay on the subject”
“Sure, sorry. Well, we kept in touch with the order, especially with Remus and Marlene. As i said, we talked to Dumbledore, who told us to stay out of the country until the war was finished properly. He was the one who told us that sirius was in You know who’s side “we can’t let this betrayal afect us, James” he said.
We didn’t believe a single fucking word.
We were shocked, of course, because still one order member betrayed us from the shadows. But Sirius? No, he didn’t do it”
“i’m still accused for the murder of twelve muggles and for being a death eater, mate”
“well Peter fucking traitor Pettigrew is responsible for that.”
“in any case dude, we are not in sirius’s trial, are we?”
"no Barty, we are not”
“then what are you waiting for? go on”
“of course. Where was i? Oh, right. When Dumbledore told us it was Sirius who betrayed us, we began... wondering.
We began wondering why did he told us that? Because Sirius was suposed to be Dumbledore’s favourite”
“wait- was sirius his favourite this whole time? Dude-”
"marls, of course he was his favourite, blood traitor and bravery and all that. A pure hypocrite.
As i was saying, we asked ourselves why he did all of those... things. One night, we were in a call with Remus. And he and Lily tied all the fucking knots. It was brilliant. The fucker ddn’t gave a shit about us. He was always acting for “the greater good” and that implied getting literally children murdered and destroying families, among so many other things"
“Destroying families?”
“yeah mary, God, we talked about this. As it seems, Dumbedore always tried to help children, like he did with remus, letting him enter Hogwarts, right? Then why didn’t he, the children saviour he was, stop the black family when they tried to force Sirius into a death eater? Why didn’t he react at the exact same thing but with Regulus, only a few years later, making him a death eater at age sixteen? Why didn’t he do anything when he went into a cave to destroy an horrocrux on his own at age seventeen?”
“well, Reggie is alive now, isn’t he?”
“yes, but because we saved him, without any orders. Albus Dumbledore didn’t mind having siblings hate eachother because something they couldn’t control because regulus’ death would help the called “greater good”. And when we figured it out, the whole order wanted revenge. Lily, Harry and I went back to London, to meet up with the others. The first step was done, but we had so much work to do.”
“What was the next step again? Can't remember”
“Getting sirius out of azkaban... and making him get along with regulus again. The first step was quite easy. We prepared everything. In a month, We put up the perfect plan- well, regulus did. We just followed orders to be honest.
Regulus wanted Barty and Evan out of prison as well, so we went for it. As you can say, the more the merrier.
We also started working with pandora (regulus’ demand, but she was totally in since the first day) and dorcas (because she was marlene’s girlfriend, also in since the first second).
We planned everything. Regulus and I are illegal animagi, and that is the principal point in all of this. Dementors are blind, right? Well, dorcas discovered they can’t feel animal souls, and it also works for animagi. So the night of the third of november, we broke into azkaban in animal form. Just imagine this. A black cat and a deer breaking into a prision. It was hillarious.
Taking sirius out was easy, he just had to trasform into a dog, the problem were evan and barty. Thank god we were not in the higher levels so we just exploded the walls and jump into the sea. After a few hours of swimming to be sure enough the dementors wouldn’t follow the scent, we aparated to grimmauld place, much to sirius horror, but it was kind of okay because his parents died the month before so there was no one in the house, besides all of us, obviously.
There was long reunions and tears and extremely long kisses and everyone was utterly happy. I remember it perfectly. Remus was waiting for sirius in the door, outside. When we aparated inside, he had to turn arround, but when he did-”
“oh, when he did we snogged eachothers faces like complete maniacs. Then we cried, like, a lot, and then kept snogging”
“Yeah, thanks padfoot. But then sirius saw regulus... and they fought. bloody drama queens both of them. Then they cried again, and promised to be better for eachother and blah blah. They are still working on it, even after we killed Dumbledore, and i am glad for them”
“you better fucking be, moony”
“i am! Sirius, i really am”
“thanks love”
“anytime-”
“as i was saying, the brothers are together, we did presentations, we all felt a bit weird, ‘cause we were the same we were in school... well, Peter was not there. But we didn’t care anymore. Yes, it was horrible to manage at first, even with Evan, Barty and Regulus telling us that, yes, He was a traitor. But we managed to continue with our lives, now with a bigger purpose: kill Dumbledore.
We spent together almost a year in that house. Harry wasn’t the only kid there. Pandora have a little girl, luna, she is the same age as harry. So, when we weren't talking about the whole ordeal, we were all like a great family. We were about a year into all of this when we heard that Alice Longbottom had recovered from Bellatrix’ torture and was out of st mungos. So we went right away.
Alice has always been a friend of mine, so, why not, i asked her if she wnted to take part of Dumbledore’s death sentence. She doubt, at first, because, and i quote “oh, but what will happen with my little boy? Who will take care of him, if not me?”
At first we didn’t now if she was referring to frank or Neville, her son. We are still not sure to be honest.
We told her we had another two toddlers alredy in the house, and that seemed to calm her down; she was in.
We basically had to readjust everything again so we could fit another person, but it was quite easy”
“for you it was, not for me. I spent a week without sleeping, Potter”
“Reg you do that anyway."
"shut up sirius"
"But we had everything. We did everything. Harry had friends, we even had a babysitter and all”
“i am not a babysitter”
“marls we all called you nann-kinnon for a reason”
“fuck off”
“you loved it”
“did not”
“did too”
“did not”
“did too”
“james stop”
“sorry lily m’love.
We had everything. Now the thing was doing it. Suddenly we all panicked because “oh fuck are we really going to kill a man?”
But barty went fucking nuts and said something about honour and boredom. He said boredom. He was fucking bored.
But he was right. We said we would do it the muggle way. So there would be no magic to analyze and the Aurors would not know where to look, and because it was going to be purely in the wizarding world the muggle police would have no clue of anything. It was brilliant.
And so we took action.
Just imagine, summer, 1985, we fucking kidnap an old man out of hogwarts and aparate him to france (sirius’ idea) and we lock him in an abandoned house. You might think he coud just aparate, right? Well, no. The only thing we used magic for is to build the biggest ass wall you could ever imagine. It had about, what, a three-kilometer radio? A circle. You could aparate from the inside, but only to something that was also inside that. It whas a little trap, an ash of hope. Remus’ idea. He tried to escape once, i think. He couldn’t do it. Oh, it felt so good seing one of the most powerfull wizards of all time frustrate to a firewall, to keep him locked. He tried to send a patronus, didn’t work either. The fucker wanted to persuade us then. With one of his monologues you know?”
“i think he believed he was on broadway or something, he was a bit weird”
“yeah, bloody weird. But we must thank you tho, you helped a lot panda, without your visions i think we would have ended in azkaban. But you scared the shit out of us the first time you had one”
“oh well, barty knew, and evan, and reg, oh and dorcas”
“still, we had no warning, it just... happened, we thought you died or something”
“oh don’t be silly james, I'll die old, i saw it”
“thank god.
anyway. He lectured us, he tried to change our minds. and then tried to cooperate. he almost offered suicide. the fucker did not want us to enjoy it, did not want us to have our moment. Soo, barty offered torture"
“no regrets”
“weirdo. At first i said “no fucking way that is too much” but even mary wanted a bit of torture so i... gave in”
“it took us a solid two hours”
“i am a man with an education, the only one here as far as i can see.
They tortured him a bit. Nothing big, just... what is it called again? Drop torture? The one you strart dropping waterdrops in the head of someone so they go crazy, can’t remember the name tho”
“barty and i wanted iron maiden”
“...and that was not happening, so we did that drop thing instead. apparently, he forgot all the serenity he had left thanks to that. He prayed. We didn’t even know he was a believer of some kind of religion, but he started praying out of nowhere.<
A week of insanity for all of us, not only him, came to an end when Regulus fucking Black apparated him and threw him into the same fucking cave he went when he was seventeen, and we followed them. Weapons in hands, i hit first. I didn’t kill him, no, i cut off a hand with an axe. it was a bit gross tho. there was a lot of blood and screaming and he... well he asked for mercy. we didn't give him that. Sirius cut the other. Then lily, evan, mary, regulus, marlene, dorcas, pandora, barty, alice, and the killing one was remus. He had a gun, and took two shots. Into. His. Head.
oh, i can remember perfectly how his brains were all over the floor.
We threw dumbledore-or what was left-to the water, and saw how the inferi pulled hm down, and down, and then we couldn’t see him anymore. Then we threw all the weapons, and then there was nothing else to do.
So we aparated.
We aparated to grimmauld place again.
We had a beautiful supper that night, it felt like we were at hogwarts again. I mean, most of us didn’t eat because we were a bit in shock with all that blood but ah well, at least Albus Dumbledore was no longer alive.
What we did was drink. We went to a muggle pub ‘cause we didn’t want to wake up the kids, and we drank. So much.
It was a mix of joy and regret and fear and shock but we drank almost everything that was in that pub.”
“well, i had a wonderful night”
"because you saw death before evan, you were a death eater, and you hated that bastard”
“damn right i did hate him mate”
“Well. We all did.”
So if you are asking us why did we do that, or what were we thinking, we’ll probably tell you the same story:
He had it comming, he had it comming all along. Because yes, we did kill him. but it was a murder, not a crime.