Paparazzi

It was morning, and the day had dawned differently from the others that same week, cold and with a cloudy sky. For a Sunday, the atmosphere was perfect for a pleasant day of relaxation and rest, yet still, Seulgi had woken up even before the alarm rang on that morning of May 9th.

The sky displayed grayish tones, and the absolute silence of the apartment contrasted with the constant murmur that used to occupy her mind weeks ago. Sitting at the edge of the bed, the actress ran her hands through her hair, taking a deep breath. Over the last few days, there had been nothing — no strange notifications or ambiguous social media posts. Nothing.

All this time, there hadn’t been a single sign of Jaeyi.

And that, for her, was a relief.

Or at least, it should have been.

Standing up slowly, the woman crossed the dimly lit room, illuminated only by the soft morning light. Her phone was on silent mode on the nightstand beside the bed, and for a moment, the actress stared at it, watching the blank screen as if waiting for something to pop up, anything, but nothing happened. No notification, no message, no provocation thinly disguised as curiosity. No new move from Jaeyi.

Everything was peaceful, finally.

Heading toward the kitchen, Seulgi put the kettle filled with water on the stove to boil, while gathering all the other necessary ingredients to prepare her beloved chamomile tea. Even though she had just woken up and was, theoretically, relaxed, the woman couldn’t resist the idea of enjoying her day off under the cold weather, with a good cup of her favorite tea. Anything that proved effective in further calming her lately agitated nerves was always welcome.

The familiar aroma spread throughout the space, filling the room with a comfortable sensation. Peace. Leaning her elbows on the counter, the actress watched the news slowly scrolling across the television in the living room in the background. The segments of the local network’s morning show varied between different topics — movies, the main traffic news for that cloudy morning, the local economy — but the best part… no mention of her name. Not like the morning after the awards night, almost two months ago. No absurd theories or gossip involving supposed secret romances. Nothing.

Nothing tying her name to the singer seemed to be circulating in the media recently.

Had the public finally forgotten that particular night?

If so, good. Because Seulgi thought it was about time.

None of her other rumored romantic involvements had lasted this long, not even the one that linked her name to the son of the most acclaimed director of the moment in Korea. Jung Joon-Ho? Was that his name? Seulgi honestly couldn’t remember. But even so, even that assumption, all because she had talked for more than 30 minutes with the younger man at a private film event, didn’t seem to cause as much commotion as the rumors connecting her to the singer.

Even if Seulgi liked to feign ignorance by pretending she had no idea why those particular rumors seemed so attractive to the media and the general public, she knew it wasn’t possible. It was common knowledge to basically… everyone, that anything even remotely related to the singer was incredibly talked about. After all, it was Yoo Jaeyi they were talking about — Korea’s sweetheart.

Everything involving the woman seemed to blow up. Everything Yoo Jaeyi touched turned to gold. Precious material.

Of course, there was also the fact that the singer was, without a doubt, the most controversial and polarizing celebrity of the moment. Ever since she had emerged in the music industry, around ten years ago, the other woman had shaken the celebrity world with her numerous blunt responses in interviews and unexpected actions coming from a celebrity of her caliber, especially when it came to her public love life. She hadn’t made much of an effort to hide from the media that she was a natural flirt, collecting over the years various famous names in her list of conquests and one-night encounters. Making herself the top name in gossip sites almost every month when the topic was rumored relationships.

In a way, Seulgi admitted she hadn’t felt very comfortable being seen as just another one of the singer’s supposed flings. Because no, she wasn’t just that, they weren’t just that. The actress refused to accept it, to see everything they once had as merely another one of Jaeyi’s many quick entanglements.

Of course, they weren’t together anymore, in any sense, but even so, the woman couldn’t believe it — she just… didn’t want to.

Her team, of course, was much more at ease regarding the disappearance of the rumors. Over the past few months, the worried phone calls from her PR team had become rare, almost nonexistent. Meetings with her agent, Minji, were once again focused solely on new projects, scripts, and contracts. Even Kyung, her always curious friend, no longer brought up Jaeyi’s name in their conversations.

Everyone breathed a sigh of relief, Seulgi knew that. And it was strange to think how much her life seemed to have gotten back on track after all that… necessary distance. Weeks without any public appearance together resulted in a shortage of material for the media to dissect, searching for any clues or signs to fuel the rumors of a supposed romance between the actress and the country’s favorite pop star.

She wasn’t exactly proud of the way she had cut Jaeyi out of her life. Quite the contrary, the decision had been abrupt, taken more out of fear than reason or sentimentality. Fear of what that relationship meant. Fear of what it could cost her life at that moment, her career, newly ascending and still fragile. Fear, above all, of what Yoo Jaeyi awakened in her.

Seulgi would never admit it out loud, but she knew she ran. Ran from the chaos, from the ungoverned desire, from the almost suffocating intensity Jaeyi carried with her.

She ran from what they had, she ran from Jaeyi…

Now, there, alone in the silence of her own apartment, after so much time since that fateful night where everything changed for them, Seulgi no longer believed she had chosen right. She wasn’t at peace, she never would be.

The rumors had disappeared almost entirely, yes, that was true—but at what cost?

The media seemed to have lost interest in them both, and the fans had new topics to discuss, but again, at what cost?

First, years ago, the cost had been high. Her relationship.

The first relationship where the actress felt that maybe… maybe it could be forever.

And now, this abrupt distance from the other woman. Seulgi couldn’t shake the thought that maybe, now, she had finally lost everything — everything that remained of her… first love?

No.

Jaeyi was more than that. No more lies, at least, not to herself.

Yoo Jaeyi… her only love.

The love Seulgi had destroyed, the love Seulgi had broken, the love Seulgi had hurt.

A whistle sounded through the room, pulling the woman out of her thoughts. The kettle whistled on the stove, the water boiling too much, beginning to evaporate.

“Damn it!” The actress pushed herself off the kitchen counter, quickly running toward the noise and then turning off the stove as she removed the kettle from the burner, watching it stop emitting the sound, the pressure fading. She had been so distracted she almost caused an accident.

Tired. Seulgi was tired.

Tired of feeling so alone, even though, in a way, she wasn’t. Her family and especially her friends had always been by her side, but the absence of a certain something finally seemed to catch up with her.

Seulgi was tired.

Tired of dealing with the consequences she herself had chosen.

‘Of all evils, the lesser one.’

Now, head lowered, leaning against the white marble sink, with messy hair covering her face, the woman let out a dry laugh at her old thought. If this was the lesser evil, why did it hurt so much?

With her head down, the actress slowly noticed drops of water staining the light marble surface below her, one after the other. And suddenly, a constant stream seemed to flood the surface, and a painful sob reverberated through the air. Realizing at last, the actress noticed — she was crying.

And it had been so long since she allowed herself to cry. Not over her. That the woman just… let herself feel.

Three years later, Seulgi felt that same suffocating sensation followed by the ache in her chest, the one she hadn’t felt since… since she herself had destroyed her world.

It hurt, everything hurt.

And it was no longer worth pretending.

Everything was calm. Controlled.

Exactly as it should be.

Exactly as it should be?

Lost amidst the hot tears now freely rolling down her face, and the painful sobs echoing now, shamelessly between her lips, Seulgi no longer felt sure of almost anything.

The only certainty lingering in her mind, worsening her current state, was that, now, she didn’t feel any less of the pain she had once caused.

***

That same day, night advanced lazily over Seoul’s skies, like so many others lately. The actress had just returned from the set of her latest project, she was filming a new campaign, something light, without major complications. Her schedule was clear after months of being too busy, and although she still had commitments, nothing seemed urgent. Nothing seemed appealing enough to divert her attention from the reason behind her breakdown, that small moment of vulnerability from earlier today.

After taking a hot shower and wrapping herself in one of the blankets on the couch, finally allowing herself to think of something else that day, determined to distract herself a bit, the woman opened her phone without much intention. She lazily scrolled through her timeline, seeing random photos posted by friends and other celebrities she followed, videos and fan messages that reached her, always observing everything carefully and liking each one, movie announcements and other collaborations from other artists also popped up here and there. Everything was normal, calm.

Until it wasn’t.

The banner of the announcement appeared at the top of the night’s trending topics: “Yoo Jaeyi announces press conference tomorrow to unveil her 10th album.”

Seulgi froze. Her eyes fixed on those bright, flashy letters of the announcement, as if it were something she had been expecting, but not like this, not really.

Jaeyi was alive, after all. Finally giving some sign of herself to the media. It had been a few weeks since, besides no longer orbiting around the actress, the singer hadn’t come forward to talk about her career or present new projects either, but now, well, the release of a new album seemed like a good excuse for her sudden disappearance.

Not that this was any of the actress’s business, no, Seulgi was just, let’s say, curious.

The woman couldn’t deny she knew the singer well, and because she knew her so well, the actress knew it wasn’t much of the other woman’s style to release very big projects, preferring shorter projects that could be worked on in different ways. This, of course, extended to her own songs and releases, having only two albums with more than twelve tracks, at least until now.

The announcement was straightforward. The next day, May 11th, there would be a press conference to present Jaeyi’s new work, celebrating her time as an artist. Ten years of career. Ten albums. The singer’s third full album.

Intrigued, Seulgi read and reread, as if she needed to ensure she was understanding everything correctly. If she wasn’t mistaken, the date to celebrate such a milestone had already passed, the actress was almost sure of it, after all, she had even considered sending a small congratulatory gift to the singer, genuinely happy for her achievement, but reconsidered, no longer feeling entitled to act that way, not after all the pain she caused.

But, that date. Why celebrate something like this now?

A surprise for the fans, maybe — something big seemed to be coming if the number of comments and reposts on the original post indicated anything, everyone seemed to be in pure excitement over the last-minute news. Looking at the clock in the top right corner of her phone, the actress saw:

12:28 AM

Well, it was already the next day, May 10th.

Returning her attention to the banner, the brunette allowed herself to wander in thought. The press conference would be tomorrow, therefore, May 11th, and that date… there was weight to that date. And suddenly, much more attentive than before, she realized where she knew it from, why that day felt so special to her.

Almost four years ago, May 11th, 2021. The dinner celebrated the 100th anniversary of the country’s most famous cinematography company, Unique. Celebrities from all fields were seen circulating through the grand hall, engaged in conversations about every imaginable subject, and it was while observing everything and everyone around her that the actress remembered feeling a pair of eyes burning on her back, and upon turning to check, that’s when she saw her, observing back, intrigued and apparently curious about her. Standing just a few steps away was Yoo Jaeyi, the most talked-about singer of that time. And, it seemed, of all times. Returning to the present, the actress couldn’t hold back the small murmur that escaped her parted lips:

“May eleventh...” Leaning back more on the soft couch and bringing the still-lit phone screen closer to her chest, the woman almost smiled. Almost.

It was probably all just a coincidence, it had to be.

Whether because of the album or not, Jaeyi seemed to have finally forgotten her, and Seulgi couldn’t afford to fantasize about new situations linking them again now. It was all just a coincidence, chance.

But it was ironic, in a way.

May 11th, the same date on which, almost four years ago, the two women had met.

It was silly.

Turning back to the screen in her hands, the actress looked at the timeline again.

Social media was in a frenzy. Fans ecstatic everywhere, gossip sites already seemed to be speculating why the announcement had come so late—after all, the singer’s ten-year career mark had already been completed in February, without big celebrations. Everyone was surprised, curious. Anxious.

Seulgi scrolled through the comments trying not to get carried away by everyone else's euphoria. But she couldn’t avoid the strange sensation forming at the pit of her stomach. Like a distant, insistent little nervousness.

She sighed deeply, resting her head on the back of the couch.

Was she happy? Excited? Proud?

Pausing to think, it was inevitable that, upon seeing that announcement, the woman thought of Jaeyi. Thought about how the music star was about to release yet another one of her always iconic albums, important to the music scene.

Music star. More than that, Yoo Jaeyi still was to Seulgi the stubborn, charming, beautiful, and destructive girl who had stormed into her life with the subtlety of a hurricane.

They hadn’t spoken in months, nothing beyond brief exchanges of barbs. Hadn’t seen each other in weeks. Entire weeks without provocative messages posted on social media or any kind of glances exchanged at events and behind the scenes. And Seulgi thought this might be the longest she had gone without feeling Yoo Jaeyi, in some form, hovering over her.

But that night, alone in her silent apartment, with the announcement still displayed before her, the actress realized she couldn’t look at Jaeyi’s success without feeling a thread of pride slicing through her chest. Because, regardless of what they had lived, Jaeyi was still a force. A force to be reckoned with. Someone who didn’t bow, who was used to turning her greatest pains and desires into art. Ten years and ten albums. Years of an impeccable discography.

And Seulgi knew she loved that. That Jaeyi loved what she did. The other woman breathed music, and each of her albums was like a raw extension of herself.

And Seulgi admired her for that.

Unable to prevent a soft smile from forming on her lips, the actress let herself be carried by the moment. Even far away, even having been the one who decided to step back years ago, there was something there. A fondness, a silent admiration, and something else that the woman still wasn’t ready to admit she had started feeling again. Well, maybe she had never stopped feeling.

But there was no more time for that.

The past, that’s what it was.

Maybe Jaeyi was so busy with this album that she had finally put aside the dangerous game the two had been playing for so long. Maybe she had finally learned to move on.

Seulgi wanted to believe that.

That way, she could do the same.

She locked her phone screen, and pushing the thoughts away, the woman yawned. It was already late, almost one in the morning. Determined not to let anything else disrupt her performance at work, the actress thought it was already time to go to bed. The next day would also be a considerably busy day for her; she needed to rest, and maybe, who knows, now she could actually rest.

***

The digital clock on the nightstand read 3:10 a.m. when an insistent ringtone shattered the silence of the room. Seulgi woke up startled, her heart racing from the surprise. Still groggy from the interrupted sleep, she fumbled around her bed in search of the shrill device. Once she found it, she had to squint to see the name flashing on the screen: Choi Kyung.

What the hell did her friend want… — she glanced at the clock — … three ten in the morning?

Frustrated, she answered the call with a stressed groan escaping her lips.

“Hello?” She mumbled, her voice hoarse with sleep.

“Seulgi! Are you seeing this?” The excitement in Kyung's voice was palpable, almost tangible through the line.

“Seeing what exactly, Kyung? It’s three in the morning…” The actress rubbed her eyes, trying in vain to shake off the fog of sleep that threatened to overtake her again at any moment.

“Jaeyi! She just released a new song! You need to listen to it, like, right now!”

Jaeyi’s name shot through Seulgi like an electric shock, waking her up instantly.

“A song? Now?” She sat up in bed, the sheets pooling in her lap.

Seulgi frowned, still confused. Why would Kyung wake her up in the middle of the night because of a song release?

“Can’t this wait until morning? I’m exhausted…” the actress said, already leaning to hang up and go back to sleep.

“No! You don’t understand! It’s important, Seulgi, seriously! Just… check it out, please.” Kyung basically begged, and the urgency in her voice finally seemed to pierce through Seulgi’s sleepy mind.

Sighing, she relented.

“Okay, okay. I’ll check it out now. Talk to you later, alright?” Giving in, the actress said, hanging up after receiving another excited murmur from her friend.

For a moment, she considered just going back to sleep, ignoring what she had just told her friend seconds ago. But something about Kyung’s insistence, and how ecstatic she sounded, pulled at her. Reluctantly, but now curious too, she unlocked her phone, ready to take a quick look at the song before allowing herself to return to sleep.

That’s when she noticed the flood of notifications covering her lock screen. Messages from friends, colleagues, and most alarming of all, from her manager, Minji. Seulgi’s heart began to beat faster as she read the message previews.

A “Did you see this?” followed by “What is Jaeyi doing?” and to top it off, “Your name is trending on social media!”

Startled and now definitely awake, the actress quickly unlocked her phone, her hands trembling slightly with the anxiety already taking over her body. Clicking on her chat with Minji, Seulgi read the messages more carefully.

But it was the next message that truly made her shake:

“The title of the track, Seulgi! What the hell is your ex doing!!!”

Followed by:

“Your name is already among the top trending topics of the day, and it’s not even dawn yet. We’re screwed.”

A wave of panic washed over her. With trembling fingers, she opened the country’s main music app, where songs were usually published first before going to an international platform. She didn’t need to search long; Jaeyi’s new track was featured, occupying the number one spot in the ranking of the most listened to… of the month?

What the hell was this?

Taking a deep breath, increasingly nervous, the actress finally gathered the courage and tapped on the single’s cover, a simple… crown?

Growing more intrigued and nervous, the next thing Seulgi did was read the song title.

And that’s how, at 3:27 a.m. on May 10th, Woo Seulgi’s world stopped.

The ground seemed to dissolve beneath her feet.

“Princess.”

That word, that nickname… Jaeyi had always called her that, especially in moments of tenderness and intimacy.

With her heart racing and tears starting to form in her eyes, she pressed the play button.

The soft melody of the song filled the room, followed by Jaeyi’s unmistakable voice. Every note, every word was loaded with emotion. Raw emotion.

This wasn’t just a song, far from it, it was a declaration.

And one of the truest.

And then, in the chorus, came the confirmation she needed:

“Princess, do you still think of us? 

Of the nights we danced alone? 

Time has passed, but does your heart still beat to the same song? 

Please tell me yes, tell me yes. You’re my princess, you always were. And I’d give everything to be your ‘prince’ again.”

Tears now streamed freely down Seulgi’s face. Jaeyi was speaking to her directly. This song was about them.

A public declaration, a direct call to her heart.

That heart now pounding uncontrollably in her chest. That heart that could no longer resist her, her call.

Sobs echoed throughout the once silent room, tears that had long started to stain her face still ran tirelessly over it, but unlike the crying from the past morning, this one had nothing to do with feelings like sadness and regret, no, this crying was relief.

Relief at realizing Jaeyi still remembered them.

That the ‘them’ still existed.

When the last note ended, dissipating into the air, Seulgi remained silent, the room submerged in the night’s dimness. She felt vulnerable, but also strangely relieved. As if a part of herself she had kept repressed had finally found a release valve.

She lay back down, hugging the pillow beside her tightly to her chest with all the strength she had at that moment, her face still damp with tears. And she briefly closed her eyes, letting the melody of “Princess” echo in her mind.

At that moment, Seulgi knew something had changed.

She knew that everything that still existed between them had changed.

And now, after everything, the actress finally saw herself ready.

Ready to admit that, despite all the time and distance, she had never truly forgotten her ‘prince’.