Everything Will Be Alright
☽☾
Remus
☽☾
Remus, Peter, Sirius and Marlene are all crammed into Lily and Mary’s dorm. They’d been there a few hours, passing around a bottle that Mary had apparently bought from some guy named Xenophilius who’s a year or two above the group.
Sirius and Marlene are already talking to each other speedily in their heavy accents - French for Sirius and a posh southern English for Marlene - so Remus can’t even guess what they’re rambling about. Peter is trying - and failing miserably - to flirt with Mary; it's so bad that Remus wants to sink into the floor out of secondhand embarrassment, Lily’s trying her hardest not to laugh next to Remus, covering her grin with her hand while her shoulders shake.
“I’m gonna get some air.” Remus whispers to Lily before ducking out of the stuffy - and loud - dorm room.
Once he steps into the common room he’s pleasantly surprised to see that it’s empty so Remus does what he always does on a night like this. He opens the window and sits so his legs are dangling over the huge drop - that would mean certain death if he slipped - and he watches the moon. Basking in its beautiful blue tinted glow, tilting his face up towards the beauty of it.
“Remus!” Sirius slurs, stumbling over to him. Remus’ head snaps to the boy behind him.
“Jesus Sirius, how much did you drink?” Remus gasps, swinging his legs back over the window sill, catching Sirius as they fall onto him.
“Not enough.” They sigh, a sorrowful look on their perfect face.
“Yeah, you’ve had enough.” Remus decides, trying to guide them towards the boy’s dorms. “Let’s get you to bed.”
“But I haven’t…” They whine. “I still can’t stop thinking about my brother. He hates me and… I think I hate him too. I mean… he always just lets my parents say and do whatever they want. He lets them make him a fucking puppet and… he just sits there and it’s going to get him killed some day.” They ramble.
“Fuck uh… I mean why do you think he hates you?” Remus asks, fully out of his depth, being an only child born to two only children who had been quite sheltered after the incident when he was five.
“ Because he always spent his time hanging off me when we were kids. He loved me.” They sigh. “But when he turned 10 he just stopped spending any time with me. He just spent all day everyday with Evan playing football. I mean that was our thing . I got him into that and then he just… found a new brother to do it with.”
“Oh… does that mean he hates you though? Maybe… I don’t know uh… can I get someone for you or-”
“No! No one can know… Mary would be upset that I’m still trying to change him. That I’m still trying to make a happy life for us like we fantasised when we were kids.” They beg, grabbing onto Remus’ arm tighter. “She always says he has his reasons but if I can be like I am why can’t he do the same?”
“How about I get Lily then? She has a sister and they’re… complicated too I mean… I think you’ve picked the worst person to talk about this to.” Remus laughs nervously, scratching the back of his neck out of nervous habit.
“Sure… but don’t tell Mary.” They say. Remus manoeuvres them to sit on the sofa they were sitting in when Remus met them before rushing to Lily and Mary’s dorm.
When he comes back into the room he’s hit with the horrendous heat of the overpopulated small dorm room with drunk and over affectionate teenagers.
“Hey Lils, can you come with me?” Remus asks, hoping she gets the hint that he wants to talk in private.
“Yeah, sure.” She smiles, standing.
“Wait… is Sirius not with you?” Mary asks with her eyebrow raised.
Shit.
“Nope, I think they went to find James.” Remus lies.
“You let them go on their own? Thatdrunk!” Mary exclaims, standing. “Fucking hell Remus are you stupid?”
Apparently.
“I have to find them before they get themself hurt.” She gasps, storming past Remus before he can stop her.
“Fuck.” He hisses under his breath, following her.
“Sirius!” She gasps, hugging them quickly. “You’re ok. Remus said you went to find James and I was-”
“So you told her to come here when I said the opposite?” Sirius asks, anger and disbelief evident in their beautiful silver eyes.
“No I tried but I guess I said the wrong thing and she-”
“Why are you trying to hide things from me?” She asks. “I thought we were friends but you’re leaving me to hang out with the lads.” She says angrily, making a mocking hand gesture at the word “lads”. “You may think that makes you cool but do you want to know what I think? I think it makes you a loser. A pathetic loser who’s so much less than you used to be. Being friends with girls doesn’t make you uncool.” She says, sounding really hurt and Remus knows it’s his fault. He should have thought she’d be worried. He should have known and now he’s destroying another childhood friendship because he can’t say the right thing. “It makes you normal, it means you can just be friends with people like a normal fucking person. I thought our friendship meant something to you. I thought sneaking out of that house with the risk of your mother finding out meant you gave a fuck but really you were just trying to find someone out there that would care about you. I gave you what you wanted until you got it from someone you deem better.” She spits.
“But-”
“Save it Sirius.” She spits, turning on her heel to go back to her dorm.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Sirius asks, stumbling towards the boy’s dorms.
“Sirius I tried to get her not to follow me but I just-”
“You ruined everything.” They say, resentment clouding their features. “You’ve made her think I hate her, so well done Remus. You just ruined the best friendship I’ve ever had because you don’t know how to be bloody subtle.” They turn on their heels, stumbling up the stairs.
☽☾
It takes Sirius two full weeks to talk to Remus again after that night. James had to really convince them to - which Remus thanked him for by buying him a pack of Mars bars because he loves them so why wouldn’t anyone else? Mary forgave them after Remus found her in her dorm while he was hanging out with Lily and explained everything to her after three days.
Remus was glad that was over.
During the two weeks of silence Remus’ dad must have sensed the tension so he decided he wanted Remus and Sirius to do drills together - even though it would have made more sense for Remus to do them with the younger goalkeepers that play for the under 13s team but are available to step in if Remus gets injured. A striker and a keeper need different skills but obviously Remus’ dad doesn’t care about that.
Today was a game day and Remus was up for it. The first one of the season should be exciting, it would show if Gryffindor were as good as people suspected they would be - the general idea is that they’re in the running to win the Hogwarts championship for the first time since Lyall Lupin stepped in for the team when Remus turned 5.
Remus stepped onto the pitch behind Frank with Sirius and James talking his ear off behind him with the same excited nerves that made Remus quiet.
The past two weeks after Sirius started talking to him again, James, Sirius and Peter have been spending a lot of time with Remus. Whenever he goes to the common room to look at the moon they follow behind - Peter offering to play chess which he’s scarily good at, or James and Sirius planning pranks and asking Remus for help with them.
But now was not the time to think of silly pranks. Remus stood in front of his goal, slapping his gloved hands together like he does before every game he’s ever played - the superstitions always coming for him like they do to most of the young football players Remus has encountered.
The game ends in a relatively easy - for Remus as they barely got down his end to even attempt a shot on goal - 3-0 win for Gryffindor against the Hufflepuffs.
Remus, James, Sirius, Peter, Frank and the Prewett twins all walk to the changing rooms talking excitedly amongst each other before Remus’ dad stops them in their tracks.
“Remus, you need to see Madam Pomfrey, apparently you haven’t been taking your meds.” He says in front of Remus’ friends who don’t know.
“I have da I-”
“Where have you been getting them from then?” He asks accusatory.
“Guys, I think we should let them talk.” Sirius says, ushering the boys away from the father and son.
“Mam gave me some before I left, they’ll last me a month. I’m fine.” He says, sounding every bit the moody teenager he is.
“I can’t guarantee you’re telling me the truth about that.” Lyall Lupin says, worry painting his face. Which shocks Remus briefly before he remembers he doesn’t want to feel any guilt if he stops taking his meds now he’s his responsibility, it’s not that he really cares.
“Why wouldn’t I take them da? Do you forget I’d die if I didn’t or-”
“Maybe you’re ashamed of having to take it.” He interrupts.
“No, da. I’m not ashamed because it wasn’t my fault. You knew what your “friend” was and you ruined his life - or more like, provoked him when he was dangerous. You only endangered me because you weren’t good enough. You still let him be around me before you saw him as a threat to you but we both know he was always a threat to me.” Remus shouts, chest heaving. “You just didn’t care until you had to face the consequences of your actions for the rest of your life.”
“Remus, I didn’t think he’d-”
“No, he’d just make an exception for me because he saw me grow up. Trust me, mam told you how he was with me. That was before you made him want to ruin your life because you already ruined his, fucking before !” Remus snaps, turning on his heel and storming into the Gryffindor changing rooms.
When Remus gets there it’s completely empty but for Sirius, who’s sat on one of the benches, hands clasped between their thighs.
“You ok?” They ask like they understand him.
“Not really.” Remus says, his voice breaking pathetically. That wasn’t what he wanted to say but it was the truth.
“I know what asshole parents are like.” They say, nodding sympathetically. “I mean… my dad’s more distant than my maman. She’s the worst but he… he tells me and Reg he loves us but then watches as she…” They look up at him. “Where’d you get that scar, Remus?”
“Uh… I trusted someone with some information about myself in a small conservative village and they decided to tell everyone and join a group that found me and wanted me to bleed out because of it.” He says, nodding. “Lily saved my life and risked hers doing so.”
“Shit…” They gasp. “My maman she likes to… use creative punishments on me and Regulus, it’s something all of the Black family loves . My father just watches as we beg for him to do something but he just watches or he’s off in his apartment in London with barely legal teenage girls.” They spit and Remus sits next to them, putting what he hopes is a comforting hand on their shoulder.
“That’s terrible, Sirius I mean why don’t you try to leave?” He asks.
“Where would I go Remus I don’t-”
“You and James are like… joined at the hip and he seems like he was raised in a good household.” Remus smiles.
“I don’t know…” They whisper.
“Keep it as an option at least, if it gets really bad get out of there. If not for yourself, for me because you deserve to be happy.” Remus smiles.
✧✩✧
Regulus
✧✩✧
The second the boys step into Regulus’ dorm their lips are immediately attached. Regulus leads Barty to his bed, falling down and pulling the boy on top of him, their lips never leaving each other's.
Regulus runs his hands over Barty’s fresh fully green crew cut that - though he’d never say it outloud - Regulus loves on the boy above him. Pandora cut it on him a few hours ago and she fully dyed his hair for it and this was the first time Regulus saw him after he finished his extra history he took because his maman made sure he took it instead of an advanced poetry course that was apparently “made for girls or faggots”. This is his way of telling him that he loves the cut now he’s finally seen it after Barty texted him about it endlessly - sending parts of it to Regulus but not showing the whole thing. He’s very sure Barty is very appreciative of that fact.
Regulus feels a pull on his favourite black coat - the one that trails behind him and flows as he walks - and he quickly sheds it, not breaking contact for anything other than the quick intake of breath he unfortunately needs to survive.
Well in Regulus’ opinion breathing’s overrated, he’d be ok drowning in Barty.
“No, Dorcas” - Pandora’s roommate and new addition to the friend group in the past month - “No, I don’t want a full on party for my birthday and I don’t think Pan- OH MY GOD EW!” Evan shouts, checking his phone across the room which causes it to - luckily - hit Evan’s bed with Dorcas’ voice traveling with it. His eyes finally catching on the boys who have only stopped kissing, not even caring to break apart.
“You done staring?” Barty drawls, rolling off of Regulus - much to the smaller boy’s displeasure but he’d never vocalise that - to look at Evan with a huge grin. “Take a picture Rosy, it’ll last longer.” He grins and Barty is lucky Evan is here because Regulus isn’t sure he’s seen anything more hot in his life, honestly.
“Jesus I-” Evan stutters, his face bright red. “Just lock the door next time you want to-”
“We were a bit too busy to think of locking the door Evan.” Barty smirks, laughing as Regulus slaps his hand over Barty’s mouth in an attempt to shut him up because that boy has no shame and Regulus sees Evan as a second brother and he’d rather die than have him hear anything like that. Barty licks his palm and grinning wide when Regulus groans in distaste as he quickly moves his hand away.
“Ew! You’re defiling my perfect innocent Reggie-poo!” He shouts, laughing at the disgusted face Regulus makes at the nickname.
“It’s Regulus.” He huffs, crossing his arms over his chest like a child.
“Aww, Reggie-poo.” Barty coos, kissing Regulus on the nose and cackling when the boy’s face scrunches up in distaste.
“I don’t have to do this with you, you know.” Regulus huffs.
“No! You’re Regulus my-”
“Ok! I’m leaving, thank you!” Evan shouts, turning to leave the room.
“Take your phone too, I don’t think Dorcas wants to hear this either.” Regulus says, not moving his eyes from the green-haired boy who’s rolled back on top of him but sounding bored as he speaks.
“Right, of course.” He says awkwardly, picking up his phone before leaving the room quickly.
The boys quickly return to their enthusiastic kissing that Regulus didn't know he enjoyed until Barty came along and kissed him for the first time a few weeks ago.