Dangerous
Summer, 1971
“He hasn’t gotten his letter,” Lyall Lupin said in a hushed tone, perhaps unaware that his young son, who was meant to be asleep, was wide awake and sat outside the door, listening to their hurried conversation. Hope Lupin let out a sniffle, as if she were trying to hold back tears.
“Lyall, don’t you understand? They won’t take him.” Remus could hear the shaky tone of his mother’s voice. Who wouldn’t take him?
They’re trying to send you away. The voice in the back of his mind growled, its words like claws. They don’t want you, they’re trying to get rid of you. Remus shook his head, silencing the growling voice. It was always louder, the first few days after the full moon. Meaner too.
Unconsciously, he scratched at the newest of many silver scars that were scattered around his body. “Write to Dumbledore, my son is magic, there must be something he can do.” Lyall insisted, his voice more desperate than Remus had ever heard it.
Now, Remus knew of magic, his mother and father had never attempted to hide it from him. He knew it smelled of gunpowder and metal, and for the first hours after the moon, when his joints were sore and he was just so tired, he could faintly feel a buzzing in the air, almost like a crackle of electricity.
But they had never once mentioned him being magic. At least, not where he could hear them. Of course, he assumed he would be, but neither of them had ever confirmed or denied his beliefs. “Lyall.” Hope’s upset, resigned voice cut across his thoughts. “Remus is dangerous.”
Dangerous. Remus flinched back from the door as if had been struck. He clambered to his feet, eyes wide and his heart pounding.
He staggered backwards, desperate to flee. He didn’t want to listen any longer, but even as he stumbled and ran to the front door, he could hear Hope’s words. “Dumbledore won’t risk other students, Lyall. What if Remus hurt someone?”
Remus slammed his shoulder against the front door, sending it flying open and he broke into a full run down the gravel road leading down from the cottage.
He felt the sharp stones slice at his feet, he felt the tears pricking at the corners of his eyes and the wind whipping at his face. Remus wasn’t sure where he was going, but he knew he couldn’t listen any longer.
He ran until the gravel road ended abruptly, where the terrain abruptly sloped down and into a rocky cliff that met the ocean. He wheezed and panted, sitting down on the grass and staring out at the ocean.
Dangerous, she had called him. He was eleven years old and his own mother believed him dangerous. Did all mother’s believe their sons to be dangerous?
Do all mother’s have a werewolf for a son? The voice bit back, an angry growl. He rubbed his eyes and let out a drawn out sigh.
Beside him, a young girl sat down, staring at the ocean. “I don’t want company.” Remus muttered, drawing his knees up to his chest. The girl looked at him and frowned, her bright green eyes searching him. He felt rather uncomfortable under her sudden scrutiny.
“I’m Lily. Lily Evans.” She announced suddenly. Remus turned his head to get a good look at her. She was his age, he decided, and she had fiery red hair that surrounded her face. She gave him a wide smile.
“Er- Remus.” He replied awkwardly.
“Is that really your name?” Lily asked. She had a sort of disbelieving tone to her voice that made Remus scowl.
“Stupid question, ‘course it is.” He snapped. Lily frowned at him.
“No need to be so cross, it's only that I’ve never heard of anyone named Remus.” Lily said, brows furrowed in a way that Remus only saw when his mother was especially upset. He chewed his bottom lip and shrank back.
“Sorry.” He said, almost under his breath. She stared at him, and Remus was a little concerned she was attempting to see into his soul. Would she find out that he was magic? A wizard? A werewolf?
“Why are you not wearing shoes?” Lily asked. Remus paused, glancing down at his feet, which were sure enough, shoeless.
“I forgot them at home.” He pulled his hair back out of his eyes to get a better look at her. She had a lot of freckles, he observed.
“Do you live around here?” She tilted her head to the side, perhaps to get a better look at him. He nodded, gesturing down the gravel road.
“That way.” Remus said, voice still a little nervous. Would she scold him again? He was rather frightened of the girl now— though, at this point in his life, he was frightened of most girls. But this girl specifically, he knew now to be a force to be reckoned with.
Lily stared down the road for a moment and then looked back towards him.
“I’m visiting Cornwall for the summer, I live in Cokeworth.” She explained. Remus couldn't bring himself to particularly care, but he let out a short hum of acknowledgement anyways. It seemed like the polite thing to do.
“Why Cornwall?” Remus scratched the back of his neck, where his hair was beginning to grow long. It was always long, in the summer.
She shrugged. “I have family here.” She replied simply, tossing her red hair behind her shoulders.
“Must be nice.” There was a beat of silence. “Er- are you excited for school?” He didn’t really know what else to say, but he didn’t want the conversation to end.
She smiled and nodded quickly. “You're trustworthy, aren’t you Remus?”
Remus was thrown for a loop by the sudden question. Was he? He didn’t often tell his parents things, did that count as trustworthy?
“I suppose so.” He replied, confused. Lily beamed.
“I thought so. Well, I have a secret. You can’t tell a soul though, promise.”
“Promise.” Remus said without thinking. He had plenty of secrets, what trouble was keeping someone else’s?
She glanced around furtively, then cupped her hands around her mouth and leaned close.
“I’m a witch.” She whispered. Remus gaped at her, and her expression became one of nervousness. “You don’t believe me, do you.”
His eyes widened. “No- I mean, I believe you. S’just-” he wrung his hands together, feeling his palms grow sweaty. She told him her secret, it was only fair he told her one. “I’m a wizard too.” Remus blurted.
Lily gave him the brightest smile. Had they been inside, Remus thought it might have lit up a room. “Are you going to school too? Have you gotten your letter?”
He swallowed thickly. There it was again. What letter? What school?
Doesn’t matter anyways, you’re too thick to get in. Remus pushed away the snarling voice.
“Er- yeah. When did you get yours?” He lied, glancing away towards the ocean.
“Just last week actually. We were getting ready to come here and suddenly this huge owl flew in with a letter! I still can’t believe it, really.” She said all of this in one long breath, and smiled broadly at him. Remus nodded, hoping she wouldn’t notice his sudden anxiousness.
“Oh yeah– me too.” He gave Lily a tight smile. Lily nodded eagerly.
“It's so exciting really, I mean- Hogwarts! Honestly, I had no idea about magic at all, let alone me being magic.”
“…Right.” He started picking at a hangnail on his thumb. Lily paused.
“Is something wrong?” She asked, eyes full of concern. Remus shook his head.
“Yeah- just… nervous.” He glanced away and he could feel a faint ache in his shoulder, sore from slamming it against the door when he had ran off. He wasn't quite excited about the lecture he was sure to receive from his parents, he was well aware he probably had worried them sick. A new, sharp voice broke through the uncomfortable quiet.
“Lily, Mummy says it’s time for dinner.” The strange girl piped up. She saw Remus, and immediately glared at him. Lily huffed, standing up.
“If I don’t see you again, I’ll see you at school, right Remus?” She asked.
Remus nodded and chewed his lip. “Sure.” He muttered, staring down at the grass. As the pair of them walked away, the older girl looked back at Remus and glowered, murmuring something to Lily.
“He is not stupid!” Lily shouted. Remus frowned, getting to his feet. He took a long breath, watching the two walk through a small field, presumably towards where they were staying. He ran his hair through his hair and then turned to walk home to the cottage.