Chapter 25
Sirius unlocked the door easily with the tap of a finger. This house was his, and as its Lord, he only had to request a door be opened, and it was so. He peered into the dark stairwell, before clattering upstairs caught his attention.
‘Kreacher? Are you alright?’ he called, but Kreacher didn’t answer.
He shut the door again without bothering to lock it. The house would stop a boggart from attacking its Lord. Not that it was likely to actually be a boggart, whatever it was. Sirius climbed up the stairs at a steady pace. No sense rushing, he’d wear out before he reached the top. He trudged up and up, until he reached the landing out front of the library.
‘Kreacher? Are you alright?’
‘Kreacher is fine, sneaky dog Master.’ The old elf croaked, giving Sirius a suspicious look. ‘Kreacher is not having any problems.’
‘I heard a noise,’ said Sirius, ignoring the elf’s greasy tone that was clearly trying to get a rise out of him, or make him paranoid. ‘Just wanted to be sure you’re alright.’
Kreacher blinked, sneering expression faltering. ‘Kreacher is fine, sneaky dog Master.’ He grumbled petulantly, but his eyes betrayed his confusion. Masters of the Black family were not usually so considerate of their elves.
‘Alright then. I’m going to sit in the library for a while. Can you bring me lunch in there when it’s time? Thank you.’ Sirius ducked through the door into the library before Kreacher could respond. It was the easiest way to deal with the wily old thing sometimes. Stay and be dragged into an argument that gave Kreacher more words to twist, so he could do something unpleasant and worm his way out of it on a technicality – or just leave as soon as possible and give him no such opportunity.
The library was as peaceful as ever, and Sirius breathed a sigh of relief. He shuffled over to his usual spot, back against the back of a couch, and settled in to stare at the wall until lunchtime.
His mind must have drifted for a while, because Sirius blinked and suddenly there was a small child standing beside him. The child’s eyes widened fearfully when Sirius looked at him, but then seemed to soften.
Sirius gave him a small, tired smile. ‘Would you like to sit and watch the wall with me?’ he offered.
Slow and hesitant, the boy moved within reach, pausing for a moment, then moved closer, sitting down beside Sirius with a gap between them, and pointed at the wallpaper.
Sirius reached over and slid the boy right up close, so he was pressed against Sirius’ side. ‘The wallpaper is good to watch.’ Sirius said pleasantly, ignoring the child’s stiff posture. ‘I was in a bad place for a long time, and I watched the walls there too. Those walls were interesting, but these are much better.’
The boy glanced up at Sirius, then waved his hands.
‘I don’t know sign language, sorry pup.’ Sirius said, eyes fixed on the wallpaper. ‘If you look closely, there’s a unicorn, just visible… there!’ Sirius pointed at a small figure walking between the trees.
The boy leaned forward, finger brushing over the unicorn. He leaned back again, cautiously leaning against Sirius’ side.
After a minute of silence, the boy tapped Sirius’ arm, wrapped over his shoulder. Sirius hummed in question. The boy pointed at the wall, then Sirius, then the wall, then his own chest, giving a thumbs up.
‘You like to watch walls too? It’s a good hobby. Well, a good hobby when you’ve limited options. Were you somewhere where you didn’t have many options to do something else?’
The boy nodded.
‘Was it a bad place? Were the people unkind?’
The boy nodded again.
Sirius leaned his head back against the couch and sighed.
‘I’m sorry for that, Harry. As your godfather, I should have protected you. I know I was in prison and couldn’t exactly get out, but I’m still sorry that you were in a bad place and I didn’t help.’
Harry looked up at him in question.
‘Did you know I’m your godfather? Your parents might not have mentioned it, I suppose, what with me being in prison and all. Bit of a stain on the Potter name to be associated with me, all that nonsense. Eating their words now though, aren’t they?’ Sirius said, a hint of vindictive glee in his voice.
Harry tensed, unsure.
‘Sorry, Harry. Didn’t mean to frighten you. Your parents weren’t very good friends to me for a bit there. I’m sure they’re good parents though. Don’t think they’re terrible people or anything. Just scared of things they don’t understand, and too trusting of the old man.’
Harry tapped Sirius’ arm till he looked down. Harry shook his head emphatically, waving a pinky finger.
‘I’ll have to learn sign language.’ muttered Sirius. ‘Are you saying your parents aren’t good parents? Or something else?’
Harry held up one finger.
‘The first one? Not good parents?’
Harry nodded firmly again.
Sirius tipped his head back against the couch again. ‘I’m sorry to hear that. I hope I can be in your life now and try to limit the damage they might cause. Have they always been bad parents?’
Harry shrugged.
‘You don’t know? Why don’t you know?’
Harry signed something, but Sirius just looked blank. Harry’s brow furrowed, and he thought hard. He closed his eyes, pretending to sleep, then opened them and looked surprised and confused. He pointed to two spots, scruffing one hand in his hair and making circles with his fingers over his eyes, then stroking long imaginary hair and pointing to a red flower on the wallpaper.
Sirius blinked, mind churning slowly. ‘Your parents…’ he began, ‘James has crazy black hair, and Lily has long red hair. Right?’
Harry tilted his head, shrugging.
‘You don’t know?’ Sirius straightened, turning to face Harry more fully. ‘Harry, how long have you known your parents?’
Harry gave him a slight, wonky smile. He closed his eyes, opened them, closed them again and opened them, then gave Sirius a meaningful look.
‘Two days – three days? Two nights?’
Harry shrugged again, waving his hand in a so-so gesture. He wasn’t entirely sure how much time had passed, especially as they kept spelling him to sleep whenever they needed to talk. He wasn’t really sure when day or night was at the moment.
Sirius ran a hand down his face. ‘Fucking hell. Harry, that is awful. I am so sorry that happened to you. But right now, my brain is tired, and I need to let it rest. Do you want to sit with me while I watch the wallpaper?’ Sirius could feel himself beginning to drift.
Harry nodded, and didn’t resist when Sirius tugged him a little closer, snuggling against his side. Sirius’ eyes went weird, and his glow went weird too.
Harry took the chance to get a better look at it. He’d been wandering around this old house looking for a way to get out and back to Tom’s house, when he’d found the man behind the couch. He could see a faint glow from the doorway of the book room, and he’d slipped inside to see better.
The man’s glow was wonky and dim and patchy. Harry wasn’t quite sure how to help, but he leaned harder against the man’s side, and reached out with his own glow, trying to wrap it around the man like a blanket.
The man shivered, then lolled his head to the side. ‘That is very kind of you, Harry, to share your magic. But my magic is very sick and needs a lot of time to get better. You can’t fix it, and you might hurt yourself if you try. I’m okay, I have lots of time to let my magic heal. Thank you for helping, but it’s alright. Let’s just sit together and watch the wall, alright?’
Harry ducked his head, then nodded, snuggling closer. He let his glow rest back against his own skin, but he kept a little curl of it wrapped around the man’s arm, laying warm and secure over his shoulders.
Judging by the small smile on the man’s face as his eyes drifted closed, he didn’t mind.
Harry sighed happily. This was nice. He used to do this back when he lived with Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon. He’d watch the walls, or the spiders, or he’d watch as the sun slid through the sky, leaving patterns on the wall through the little grate at the top of the cupboard door.
Sharing it with someone else was unexpected, but… nice. The man had been in a bad place too, and he did the same thing Harry did. It made him feel a little less alone, a little less weird and freaky.
Harry hoped maybe the man might want to come when Harry went back to Tom’s house. He seemed sad but kind. Harry wouldn’t mind spending more time watching things with him. He wondered if the man liked to watch the sky sometimes. Maybe he could ask when the man woke up.