Chapter 11
Severus Snape sat on the edge of the very last bed in the medical wing. The only other person in there was a Gryffindor boy, who was regrowing a broken arm from Quidditch practice. He had left early in the morning. Severus could also leave now, but he didn't want to. Madam Pomfrey had checked him over and gave him a small pouch of four small vials of potion she said was to be their little secret, "to help with nerves," she had said kindly before adding, "you shouldn't have found out this way, that Sirius is a halfwit," before leaving to bring him breakfast and disappearing once more. Severus continued to sit and brood. He had awoken with a start, not remembering where he was or why he was there, temporarily expecting to see the peeling ceiling of Spinner's End. Then the memory had came flooding back. He hated them, hated them. The twisted version of the story had already started, he heard the Gryffindor boy as he left with friends stating how they had all noticed the new Gryffindor house points and how Peter had gushed to them how James had saved Snape's life the night before, which was the cause for all of the commotion yesterday. Severus stared at the floor bitterly. It just wasn't fair. Not for the first time, Severus wondered what he had done to deserve this. Lost in his thoughts, he didn't hear the door open and a voice say his name. A cough. Severus turned around and was not suprised to the see the Headmaster. Severus turned away before speaking.
"I'm not gonna say anything. I know how this goes."
Dumbledore raised a hand. "Severus please, I do not wish to villainise you," Severus snorted at this but Dumbledore continued nevertheless. "Severus, what happened last night should have never happened. I admit I was not aware that Remus' secret had been discovered by his friends. A gross oversight. If I had, I would have proposed a much stricter set of rules regarding it." He looked down at Severus, not liking how his eyes had clouded over. "Severus look at me when I am talking to you." Severus dragged his eyes up to the meet the Headmaster. "I take it Sirius had not seen you and apologised?"
"No."
"I'll be having words with Professor Mc-"
"No."
"At least give James your gratitude."
"No."
"Then it seems we are between a rock and a hard place Severus," Dumbledore sighed and sat down on the bed next to him. He looked at him critically, before saying softly, "you must have been terribly frightened." Severus flinched, the tears from yesterday night threatening to rise up again.
"It's not like you care."
"I care about the safety and well being of every student in this castle."
Severus gave a snort.
"You do not believe me?"
"No because you would have expelled Sirius then."
"I do not wish to send Sirius away, his home situation is...not hospitable."
"Neither is mine."
"Then you understand why I do not wish to condemn him to it?"
"So you'll condemn me to put up with him instead."
"Maybe just tolerate?"
"Why should I, he's never liked me. I just never thought..." he trailed off, his eyes glazing over again.
Dumbledore looked at his hands, flexing his fingers before looking to Severus again. "Phineas tells me the boys have been bullying you." Severus' shoulders hunched but he said nothing. "Sometimes...such things are sent to challenge us Severus. Teachers. Students. Use it to your advantage." He stood up. "We live in difficult times."
Severus got up to, facing him. "I get it." He raised a hand, checking off his fingers. "Half breeds, filth, mudbloods -"
"Please do not use that word in my prescence."
"Sorry, sir."
"That's quite all right."
"But it's true though isn't it. Everyone is picking sides." Dumbledore looked at him carefully. "I have not chosen sides in this situation Severus."
Severus met his gaze, his black eyes glittering.
"Haven't you?"
"No Severus. What happened last night was shameful. Sirius was reckless. James did a very brave thing, so did Peter. Remus is probably just as upset about all of this as you are. Think of him."
Severus made a face.
"Think of how terrible it must be to live with. I am on my way to see him also. He will be awaking very confused, he probably thinks he has hurt you or worse. Please try to think of him." Severus turned back away and sat on the bed again.
"I've been thinking of him a lot already Headmaster."
Dumbledore stood up and looked down at him, into the boy's black eyes. They were expressionless now, making it difficult to read his emotions. Like an occlumens he thought. Phineas had seen it too. He did not think it was particularly healthy for a teenager this young to compartmentalise his feelings so easily. Dumbledore rose and began to leave, suddenly finding himself at a loss for words.