Consumption

“I didn’t kill him, James.” Sirius muttered, pressing his forehead against the cool glass of the car window. “I was just getting an MRI.”

“I know. But we have to figure out who did.” Sirius honestly couldn’t tell if James actually believed him. It was strange, his face was hidden, and his voice was guarded but also concerned.

“He’s trying to frame me, and I don’t know why.”

James let out a low sigh at that, gripping the steering wheel as he focused back on the dark road. “Let’s not think about this right now. You’re going to stay with me and Lily for a bit.”

“I can take care of myself.” Sirius rolled his eyes, hating the feeling of being coddled. “Plus, Snuffles is at my house.”

“I already asked Lily to bring him over.” Sirius stopped himself from smiling gratefully at the man, remembering that he’s the reason Lily had to grab Snuffles in the first place. The car remained silent for the rest of the drive, not even the radio being switched on.

James and Lily’s house was nice, but in a modest way. They didn’t try to show off the fact that James’ parents had funded most of it or that their combined incomes allowed them to live a more lavish life. It was homey, welcoming.

Sirius had his own room upstairs, a dresser full of spare clothes in case he had a little too much to drink to be able to drive home safely. By the time Sirius entered the room, Snuffles was already curled up on the large dog bed on the floor, chewed up toys littered around him.

Sirius was exhausted, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep for quite some time. His hand ran through his hair, feeling the light layer of grease and knots caused by his sweat. He let out a quiet groan before grabbing a towel and heading for the bathroom. James and Lily were downstairs, talking in hushed voices. Everyone was on edge, and all Sirius wanted to do was be alone.

The hot shower was nice, alleviating some of the tension in his shoulders and neck as he worked shampoo into his hair. He knew what people at the bureau were saying about him. He saw the strange looks and worried gazes, he wasn’t oblivious. But it was different when it was coming from his own friends. James seemed skeptical, like he didn’t truly know what to believe, that was the hardest part for Sirius. His own brother couldn’t even confidently say that Sirius hadn’t killed someone.

Remus had gotten a call from Lily, recounting a story from James about Dr. Podmore’s death. Sirius’ prints had been found on the knife as expected. Pandora has been more of a surprise, she had shown up in the middle of the mutilation of his previous colleague. She had been out of it, standing in the doorway but not fully aware of the fact that she was. Remus had simply finished up the job, handed the knife to the girl, and left. Now, he just had to wait and see how it played out.

“Remus!” Lily said, opening the front door to the man, James standing right behind her. “Thank you for coming.”

“Of course.” Remus smiled at the pair. He did quite enjoy their company, they were intelligent and kind, and they truly tried to help Sirius. Remus could understand Lily not wanting to get too involved in Sirius’ treatment due to their personal ties, which is why Remus was glad to take up the offer of driving out and checking on the man himself. He knew Sirius would hate it, hate the idea that his friends were worried about him and sent his therapist to go talk to him. “Is he upstairs?”

James nodded, “Second room on the right.”

Remus nodded in appreciation, heading up the stairs. He was glad they didn’t try to engage him in further conversation. As much as he liked them, he really just wanted to talk to Sirius right now.

When Remus located the room, he found that the door was open, and nobody but Snuffles occupied it.

“Hey buddy.” The dog looked up at Remus’ voice, his tail starting to wag as the man got closer. “How are you? Hmm? Good?”

Remus patted Snuffles on the head, scratching behind his ears as the dog’s leg thumped happily.

“Talking to the dog, huh?” An amused voice said from behind him. Remus turned his head, his breath catching in his throat as he stared at Sirius. The white towel hung loosely on his hips, only held up by the hand gripping it at the side. His hair was damp, water droplets dripping down and onto his chest.

“Jealous?” Remus had a cheeky grin on his face, standing up from his position on the floor next to the dog. “Don’t worry, I’m sure we could find something to talk about.”

Sirius looked away from the doctor, digging in his drawers for pants. “James called?”

“Lily.” Remus corrected. He stood awkwardly in the corner, watching the muscles on Sirius’ bare back shift as he pulled open drawers. “They both seemed very concerned about you.”

“Yeah well they need to stop doing that.” Sirius turned around, closing the door. “Turn around.”

Remus quickly obeyed, turning to face the wall. His ears perked at the sound of Sirius’ towel hitting the floor and the soft rustle of fabric as he got dressed.

“Okay you can turn around.” His pajama pants sat low, showing off the light shadow of abs. “You’ve interrupted my sleep time, so you can either join me and sit on the bed or stand uncomfortably in the corner because I don’t feel like moving to the sitting room.”

Sirius moved towards the bed, pulling the covers back and propping the pillows up against the headboard. Remus watched as he slid under the sheets, only the top half of his body now visible.

At the doctors staring, Sirius raised an eyebrow. “Care to take a seat Dr. Lupin?”

“Why don’t you think this was Pandora?” Remus asked, moving over towards the bed and sitting at the end.

“It was the copycat. Pandora didn’t remove her last victim’s eyes.” Sirius explains, his hands toying with the blanket.

“Killers change their style all the time.” Sirius stared at the man before him. There was something beneath his eyes that made Sirius feel like that sentence meant more than what was said at surface level.

“Not Pandora. She wouldn’t remove his eyes. That’s an act of mutilation. She doesn’t mutilate; she fixes them.”

“Fixes them?”

“Demon face syndrome.” Sirius took a breath, meeting the doctor's eyes. “She didn’t want to kill that woman, they were friends. She wanted to rid her of her demon qualities.”

“You knew that by defending Pandora, you put yourself under the scrutiny of the FBI.” Remus said, staring intently at Sirius. “Why are you so fixated on saving Pandora? This goes beyond your empathy, this is a true, personal connection.”

“She struggles to accept her reality…” Sirius broke their eye contact, looking out of the dark window. “I can occasionally identify with that.”

The soft snores of Snuffles covered the silence in the room. Sirius didn’t know what to say, the whole situation was difficult to come to terms with.

“He stole my knife.” Sirius finally said. “He broke into my house and stole my knife. I kept it in my bedside drawer. It was the last thing my brother gave me before I ran away.”

Something like guilt flickered across Remus’ face before he quickly schooled his expression.

“You suspect you’re being framed?”

“How else would my knife end up there!” Sirius’ voice rose. “I didn’t lose time, I didn’t hallucinate, I sat in that stupid MRI for an hour and came out to find my doctor dead! I am not insane!”

“I never said you were insane.”

“Well, everyone’s been implying it.” The tone of Sirius’ voice changed quickly, his eyes filled with sadness and exhaustion. “My own brother doesn’t even fully believe me.”

“James thinks you killed Dr. Podmore?” This was slightly shocking to Remus. Sirius and James were best friends, brothers, and given James' personality, it was a surprise that he didn’t immediately believe Sirius.

“I don’t think he knows what to believe anymore.” Sirius sighed, his hand running through his still slightly damp hair. “Everyone has become very wary of me. Scared I'll snap at any second.”

“They don’t know how to predict you.”

“Do you?” Sirius had been wondering just how well Remus understood him. At this point, he knew Remus was far from conventional, and he didn’t seem necessarily scared or even opposed to Sirius’ darker thoughts.

“I believe I’m getting there.” A smile settled on Remus’ face, his hand flattening out a wrinkle in his jacket. “I think there’s a lot for you to learn about me before I can fully understand you.”

“Yeah, well I believe I’m getting there too.”