James Potter had never been one to think too much about his feelings. He loved his friends, he loved Quidditch, he loved the thrill of breaking the rules. And until a few months ago, he had also loved Regulus Black. Or at least, he thought he had.
Everything changed one night when, tangled in the sheets beside Regulus, he murmured a name in his sleep. Lily.
The silence upon waking was deafening. Regulus was looking at him with an expression James had never seen on him before—pure devastation. There were no shouts at first, only a question, voice trembling:
—"Is it her? Has it always been her?"
James didn’t know what to say. He truly didn’t. Lily Evans had been his obsession for years, and now that he had finally managed to let go of the idea of winning her over, his subconscious had betrayed him.
Regulus, however, seemed to understand everything in an instant. He pulled away, shaking, but James couldn't bear it.
—"Why are you acting like this?" he snapped in frustration. "It doesn’t mean anything! I don’t know what I want, for fuck’s sake!"
It was the worst possible answer. Regulus looked at him, his pride in tatters, his eyes shining with something he refused to let turn into tears.
—"I see."
But James, scared and confused, refused to let him go without hurting him even more. He spat out cruel words, words he barely understood but that struck like daggers. And by the time he realised what he had done, Regulus was already gone.
Summer was hell. He couldn’t sleep, he couldn’t think of anything else.
But what terrified him most wasn’t the guilt. It was the possibility that one day, Sirius would find out the truth.
James had spent the entire summer trying to convince himself that he had made the right decision. That ending things with Regulus had been for the best. That it was wiser to rip out any lingering doubts before things became even more complicated. But now, seeing him step over the threshold of the Great Hall, head held high and with that indecipherable expression, all his logic crumbled.
He hadn’t spared him a single glance. Not even when he had passed mere inches from him in the corridor of the Hogwarts Express. Regulus seemed utterly indifferent to his existence, and James was discovering that it hurt far more than he had anticipated.
Sirius, on the other hand, was far too busy flaunting his happiness to notice his best friend’s unease. As always, he had claimed the centre of attention, shamelessly boasting.
—"Ah, what a joy to be back at Hogwarts! But, truthfully, the real reason I’m so happy is that tonight, gentlemen, I won’t be sleeping a wink! And not due to insomnia, but because of my wonderful, talented, and passionate boyfriend!" he declared, throwing an arm around the shoulders of a very flustered Remus, who looked as if he wanted to disappear into thin air.
—"Sirius, shut up," the werewolf grumbled, his face burning red. "Not everyone needs to know what we do in private."
—"But Moony! Why would I deprive our dear dorm mates of such vital information? They need to be aware that if they see me limping tomorrow, it’ll be thanks to your hidden talents," Sirius added, winking exaggeratedly.
Peter’s groans of protest and the others’ laughter were abruptly cut off as Regulus passed by. James, who was already struggling not to pay him too much attention, felt his stomach tighten when the younger Black finally spoke.
—"You know, I’d really rather not have any insight into your sex life. Spare me the trauma, and everyone else in this corridor, please," he said in his signature sardonic tone.
For a brief moment, James almost felt relieved to know he wasn’t the only one suffering under Regulus’s attitude. Sirius merely laughed heartily, as if his brother’s words were nothing more than another joke. But James caught the glint in Regulus’s eyes before he spoke again, and instinct warned him that something was about to happen.
—"You know, dear older brother," Regulus continued, mocking emphasis on the words, "you truly are an inspiration. In fact, you’ve really motivated me to rekindle my own sex life."
Silence fell like a thunderclap. Sirius’s expression froze in sheer horror, his grin vanishing in an instant.
—"I reckon if I’m quick enough, I can find someone to share my bed tonight," Regulus added, perfectly composed, clearly revelling in the disaster he had just unleashed.
Remus, so often the victim of Sirius’s antics, bit his lip to suppress a satisfied smirk. At last, his boyfriend was getting a taste of his own medicine. Peter also seemed amused by the scene, but James… James felt a sudden, inexplicable heat sear through his chest. Jealousy. He was sure of it.
But he couldn’t do a thing. Because they were nothing now. Not boyfriends, not even friends. And worst of all, they had never been anything official. Their relationship had been a secret—something James, in his cowardice, had insisted on keeping that way. He had no right to protest without exposing his greatest mistake.
Regulus shot one last smirk at his brother before turning to leave, visibly pleased with Sirius’s appalled grimace.
—"Mmm... yes, I think that’s exactly what I need. I’m off to find someone suitable. If you’d like, I can give you all the details in the morning, dear brother " he said, making it abundantly clear that he had no intention of taking his words back.
When Regulus spoke those words, James’s world seemed to tilt.
Sirius was far too busy having an existential crisis to notice. He stood there, mouth agape, eyes wide with sheer horror. Peter and Remus could barely hold back their laughter; the latter, in particular, appeared to be savouring the sweet taste of revenge after the countless times his boyfriend had shamelessly recounted their nights together.
But James couldn’t laugh. His chest felt tight, as if someone had knocked the air out of him with a single punch. Regulus couldn’t be serious. Not him. Not his Regulus. Or rather, the one who had once been his.
Still wearing a victorious smile, Regulus carried on down the corridor, ignoring James entirely, as though he didn’t exist. James remained frozen in place, as if someone had Petrified him on the spot.
And then, he heard that damned sentence.
—"Barty, are you free tonight?"
The echo of those words rang in his head with unbearable intensity. A shiver ran down his spine as he saw Barty Crouch Jr., lounging carelessly on a nearby windowsill, glance up with a raised eyebrow and a smirking grin. The image of Regulus in someone else’s arms hit James so hard he felt sick.
—"NO!" Sirius bellowed at last, regaining his voice. "NO, NO, NO!" He lunged towards his younger brother, his expression a mixture of panic and fury. "You’re a bloody child, Regulus! A baby! Don’t you dare do anything remotely like what I’m thinking!"
Regulus turned to him with an expression of perfect innocence—the one he used when he wanted to annoy him on purpose.
—"Oh, but if you get to brag about your nights with Remus, why can’t I do the same?"
Sirius blinked, momentarily speechless. Regulus seized the advantage, stepping closer to Barty with an air of complete nonchalance. The Ravenclaw grinned, leaning forward slightly.
—"Depends on what you’re offering, Reg," Barty replied, amused. "But I suppose we could negotiate."
James felt his blood boil. He felt stupid and furious. He wanted to shout, to grab Regulus by the shoulders and tell him no . That he couldn’t do this, that he wouldn’t allow it.
But who was he to forbid anything? They were nothing. They had no claim over each other. Regulus could sleep with whoever he wanted.
The problem was, James didn’t want him to.
—"Regulus, NO!" Sirius was still trying to process it all. "For Merlin’s sake, you’re sixteen! You can’t just go around shagging anyone!"
Regulus turned to him with a mocking smile.
—"Anyone? Oh, come on, Sirius. Don’t insult me. I have standards ."
Barty let out a delighted laugh, thoroughly enjoying the spectacle. Meanwhile, James clenched his fists, feeling helplessness burn in his chest. If he said something, if he tried to stop him, it would look suspicious. Sirius would get ideas. Remus and Peter would notice. He couldn’t let that happen.
So he remained silent, jaw tight, as he watched Regulus walk away, his expression alight with satisfaction.
Tonight was going to be hell.
The Great Hall was as noisy as ever on the first morning after returning to Hogwarts. Students from all houses chatted animatedly, catching up after the summer holidays.
For James Potter, however, the atmosphere felt unbearably stifling. He had barely managed any sleep after the previous night. The image of Regulus walking away with that damned smirk was still seared into his mind.
He tried to focus on his breakfast, but nothing could ease the uneasy knot in his stomach. He knew the best thing to do was ignore it—pretend everything was fine, that last night hadn’t mattered in the slightest.
But then, he saw him.
Regulus Black entered the Great Hall with his head held high and an air of relaxed satisfaction, accompanied by his usual group of friends. Three Slytherins—himself, Dorcas Meadowes, and Evan Rosier—and two Ravenclaws—Barty Crouch Jr. and Pandora Rosier. His circle of friends had always been an odd mix, an unexpected combination of people, but at that moment, James couldn’t have cared less about who was walking beside him.
All he could see was Regulus, striding in with quiet confidence, his hair perfectly in place, one well-defined curl falling across his forehead.
James looked away immediately—but not quickly enough.
‘Did you see that?’ Peter Pettigrew whispered, elbowing him. James clenched his jaw.
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ he muttered.
But Sirius, of course, never missed a thing when it came to his younger brother. The moment he spotted Regulus approaching, his reaction was immediate. He shot up so suddenly that Remus nearly spilt his tea all over his plate. His exclamation rang through the entire hall:
‘YOU’RE STILL A BABY!’
James closed his eyes in frustration. He knew this was going to happen.
But Sirius wasn’t finished. Oh, of course he wasn’t. His expression morphed from indignation to horror as he noticed something else—something James had been trying very hard not to see.
And then, the real tragedy unfolded.
‘YOU’RE MY BABY! MY PURE, CHASTE, VIRGINAL LITTLE BROTHER HAS BEEN DEFILED!’
Silence fell over the Gryffindor table. A few Hufflepuff students struggled to suppress their laughter, while over at the Slytherin table, Regulus simply came to a halt. He blinked slowly, his expression one of absolute incredulity. Then, with the patience of someone well accustomed to his brother’s theatrics, he sighed and folded his arms.
‘For Merlin’s sake, Sirius,’ he said, sounding thoroughly exasperated. ‘Never call me “pure, chaste, and virginal” again. Seriously.’
Sirius, however, wasn’t listening. He was still pointing at him with dramatic fervour, as though he had just seen a ghost.
‘But—! You’ve—!’ Sirius flailed his hands, unable to get the words out.
‘Hickeys, I know,’ Regulus finished for him, his tone making it abundantly clear that he had done it on purpose.
Sirius reeled back as if he had been physically struck. Beside him, Remus covered his mouth to hide his laughter, but his shoulders shook with the effort. Peter glanced between Regulus and Sirius, utterly enthralled by the spectacle.
James, on the other hand, felt as if the air had been punched from his lungs.
He didn’t want to look. He didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want to remember the previous night, or the possibility that Regulus had actually spent the night with someone else. But there they were—those marks, blatant and undeniable, proof that he had.
Jealousy crashed over him like an unstoppable wave.
Regulus smirked, exuding that infuriating sense of superiority that always drove his older brother mad. But then—just for a second, a fleeting moment—his gaze flickered slightly.
Their eyes met.
And that was when James knew.
Regulus was doing it on purpose.
He knew exactly how to make him burn. End.