Run
Pandora shoved the Time Turner into Regulus’s hand.
“I programmed it specifically to take you back to October 31, 1981. All you have to do is spin it 3 times,” Pandora stressed, holding up three fingers. “Any more than that, and you’ll go back further.”
Regulus frowned. “Why are you telling me this? Aren’t you coming with me?”
Pandora smiled, sadly. “No. We don’t know what will happen to this timeline once you travel back. It could form a new one, erase this one, continue this one, or any combination. If this timeline continues, unaltered, Luna and Harry would be abandoned. One of us has to stay to take care of them, just in case.”
Regulus nodded in understanding, but then, he hesitated. “You’ll take care of Harry?” He asked.
Pandora nodded. “You know I will.”
Regulus’s eyes drifted to Harry and Luna playing on the floor. “How can I leave him?” He whispered, more to himself than to Pandora.
“You’re doing this for him,” Pandora reminded him. “This is the chance to give him a better life with his parents.”
Regulus nodded, but as much as he wanted that, something about that scared him. With James and Lily alive, Harry wouldn’t need him anymore, and maybe… neither would James and Lily. The Obliviate spell had worked better than Regulus could’ve ever imagined- they knew him as Sirius’s evil little brother, and that was it. Everything else they’d had evaporated like smoke.
Regulus had debated erasing his own memory, too, but in the end, he couldn’t bear to do it. He couldn’t bear to lose them all over again.
James and Lily would raise Harry. Harry wouldn’t even know him, and James and Lily wouldn’t know him except as Sirius’s little brother.
Regulus would be losing them a third time.
But it was worth it if Harry didn’t have to lose them, too.
“All three of them,” Pandora added, looking at him meaningfully.
Regulus shook his head. “Don’t make me hope, Pandora. I Obliviated them in sixth year. They don’t even know me in 1981.”
“You can make them remember,” Pandora said.
Regulus shook his head. He’d already accepted the fact that James and Lily would live their lives without knowing him and he’d live his life never being able to forget them.
“I can’t,” Regulus said. Years of practice kept the emotion out of his voice, the years of heartbreak and grief. As much as his lip wanted to wobble and his eyes wanted to fill with tears and his voice wanted to shake, it did none of that. It stayed perfectly devoid of emotion, just as his mother had always taught him. “Because when I go back, after I save them, I’ll need to finish what I started- destroy the Horcrux and defeat the Dark Lord. Involving them in that would only put them in more danger than they’re already in.”
Pandora hesitated before her next words. “Are you really doing it to protect them or protect yourself?”
Regulus’s walls went up like a protego spell. His eyes shuttered, and any weakness was locked up tight in a vault.
Even Pandora wasn’t allowed to see him break.
“I’ll take tonight to say goodbye to Harry,” Regulus said, stiffly. “I’ll drop him off in the morning and then I’ll use the Time Turner.”
Regulus turned and picked up Harry, who whined as his playdate with Luna ended. Regulus paused in the doorway, feeling Pandora’s sadness from across the room.
Regulus couldn’t allow those to be some of the last words he ever said to her.
“Thank you, Pandora,” he said without turning around. If he faced his best friend, his walls would surely crumble, and he needed to be strong and immoveable right now- for Sirius, for James and Lily, and for Harry.
He needed to save them, and it was better and safer for them if he kept his distance, just as he always had.
“For everything,” Regulus added and then closed the door behind him.
Regulus sat on his bed in his London apartment. He could hear Harry playing in the room next to his, and it all crashed down on him at once.
He’d be leaving Harry and any chance of knowing him behind. By saving James and Lily, he would be losing them all over again, and he’d lose his child Harry.
Regulus was so tired of losing people.
Regulus knew he wouldn’t be able to do it face to face, to put his wand at James and Lily’s eyes and utter the word Obliviate while they begged him not to. Regulus had always been a coward, just like Sirius would swear up and down he was.
James and Lily were waiting for him in the library. They had their own table hidden in the back, between rows and rows of bookshelves. It was so secluded, dust had collected on the table. No one ever came back here, and Regulus wondered if Madam Pince had something to do with that. Judging by her smile when James and Lily came in together and Regulus a few minutes later, she knew more than she let on.
It was weird to think of the librarian helping them hide their relationship, but Regulus wasn’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth.
James and Lily were sitting at their usual table, their backs to him. They were bent over a book, whispering, and Regulus knew it wasn’t about the book. He wondered if it was about how Regulus had started wearing long sleeves, even in the 40 degree (celsius because they’re in England) days of September. Or maybe how some Slytherins had started to cast glances Regulus’s way, some of them awed, some of them fearful. Or maybe why Regulus was meeting with them less and less.
It didn’t matter if it was any of those things or none of those things. They’d forget all about Regulus in a few short moments.
Regulus pointed his wand at the backs of their heads. He allowed himself a moment of weakness. His wand quivered. Tears pressed at his eyes but never surfaced; Regulus had been crucioed out of any tears.
He allowed himself a moment to memorize the fiery shade of Lily’s hair, James’s tan skin. He couldn’t see their eyes, but he didn’t need to. He had already memorized Lily’s emerald green and James’s hazel. He had memorized every freckle on James’s face and the scar on Lily’s temple from when Petunia pushed her into a rose bush. He knew their voices better than he knew his own.
Regulus’ breath hitched.
James immediately turned towards the sound, followed by Lily. Their eyes widened when they saw him pointing a wand at them, even as his hand shook.
“I’m sorry,” Regulus said. “I love you. Obliviate.”
James was standing so fast, he knocked his chair over, but it was too late. The spell washed over them, and Regulus watched any knowing, any concern, any love flicker and vanish from their eyes.
James’s worried, desperate, loving expression turned to a glare. Lily’s eyes filled with distrust, and Regulus’s heart broke. Somehow, it hurt worse than his mother’s Cruciatius ever had.
“What do you want, Black?” James snapped.
Lily stood from her chair and stood beside James, a united front… against him.
Regulus blinked away any traitorous tears and resisted the urge to wipe at his eyes. He couldn’t betray any weakness, not now… not ever again.
“Nothing,” Regulus said, and his voice cracked.
James’s eyebrows shot up, and Lily’s brow furrowed. Regulus Black’s voice never cracked, never quavered, never betrayed his emotions.
For the briefest moment, they looked… concerned.
If Regulus looked at them for a second longer, he’d break into a thousand pieces. He’d sob in their arms like he’d always longed to do. He would tell them everything.
He couldn’t risk that.
Regulus turned on his heel and walked away. He didn’t look back.
Regulus reached under his pillow and pulled out a photograph. It was one of the few they’d ever taken because they didn’t want to risk anyone finding photos of them.
James, Lily, and Regulus. Regulus was in the middle, James’s arm around him and Lily’s head on his shoulder. They smiled at the camera. Regulus’s smile was smaller than James and Lily’s, but it was there, a rare occurrence. James and Lily exchanged a conspiratorial glance and then each of them pressed a kiss to either of Regulus’s cheeks. Regulus’s smile bloomed into something more real, more genuine. James and Lily smiled, too, their mission accomplished.
The photo replayed over and over again, and in the privacy of his own bedroom, Regulus finally let himself break.
The tears overflowed, and Regulus couldn’t have stopped them if he tried. They streaked down his face and dropped onto the photograph. Regulus hastily wiped them off before they could damage it.
Regulus allowed himself five minutes to cry, to grieve, to break. Then, he wiped at his face and eyes, drying the tears.
He had said goodbye to James and Lily a long time ago. Now, he had to say goodbye to Harry.
Regulus placed the photo in his shirt pocket, close to his heart, and stood, walking out of his room and into the next.
He froze in the doorway.
Harry was playing with the Time Turner, hands on the sides and attempted to spin the hourglass. He was giggling at the sparkly object in his hands, especially once it started to spin.
“No!” Regulus screamed, feeling a fear unlike anything he’d ever felt surge through him. He ran into the room, reaching for Harry as the hourglass spun faster.
Regulus had placed the time turner on the highest shelf in the kitchen, and he had stupidly thought Harry wouldn’t be able to reach it, but that kid was a spider monkey. Regulus should’ve known, but he didn’t, and now, Harry was playing with a highly dangerous magical object.
Would the Time Turner erase Harry from existence? Would it explode like it almost had eight months ago? Would it obliterate the timeline and Harry with it?
Regulus grabbed the gold chain and warmth pulsed under his hand. Harry held the other side, and Regulus picked him up, trying to pry the object from Harry’s hands.
The time turner stopped spinning, and in the blink of an eye, they were gone.
Regulus fell to the ground, landing on his back, still holding Harry in his arms. Harry started to cry and wail, and Regulus had no idea where they were.
Regulus covered Harry’s mouth, muffling his cries, and he looked around.
It was dark, wherever they were. The curtains were open, and Regulus could see a night sky and the glow of the moon through the window. The moonlight didn’t illuminate much, providing just enough light to see green and silver colors throughout the room.
Regulus drew his wand from his pocket and cast a quick Lumos. The wand tip lit up.
A letter popped into existence beside Regulus, and Regulus jumped as the envelope opened and began to speak.
“Regulus Black, the Trace has reported underage use of magic. Spell: Lumos. The Ministry of Magic has recorded this as your first warning. Two more strikes before punishment will be dealt. Have a good day!”
The letter vanished.
The Trace? Underage magic? But Regulus was 21 years old!
Wasn’t he?
Regulus scrambled for the matches and lit the lanterns around his room until it was bright enough to see. He saw green and silver bedding, the Black family crest on most things, his quidditch broom hung on the wall. School textbooks Regulus hadn’t used in years were stacked on the desk.
Regulus propped Harry on his waist and went to the full length mirror on the wall. What he saw made him stumble back.
He was shorter and thinner. His hair was cut short and evenly. Regulus’s hair had grown longer and more jagged over the years, as Regulus rarely had time for a haircut when he was raising a child. His skin was paler, a product of almost never going outside in the summer- he was tanner during the school year, due to quidditch. He was wearing wizard robes, which he hadn’t worn in years while living in Muggle London.
He was a teenager again. There was no doubt about that.
Regulus wrenched up his left sleeve and found… nothing. Unblemished skin. He hadn’t even taken the Dark Mark yet.
“Reggy,” Harry said. He struggled to pronounce Regulus, and Reggie had always been Sirius’s nickname for him and Regulus couldn’t stand to hear it everyday. Harry called him Reg-ee, which Regulus figured was close enough. After all, what do you call the guy that kidnapped you from your neglectful relatives?
Harry touched Regulus’s face curiously. He could see something had changed, but Regulus still looked similar enough, Harry could recognize him.
“Why do you look different?” Harry asked.
Regulus shook his head, trying to appear as calm as possible for Harry. “I don’t know, Harry, but I’m gonna figure it out, okay? But until I do, we have to be quiet.” Regulus held a finger to his lips, and Harry nodded with a smile. They had played the quiet game before, usually when Regulus had a migraine, and Harry was good at it… for about fifteen minutes anyway, then he got antsy.
Regulus needed to figure this out before then.
Regulus searched for the Time Turner and found it on the ground. He hurriedly picked it up, wondering if he could somehow use it to get them back to the future. Pandora and him had designed for this to be a one way trip. The time turner was only meant to go backwards, not forwards, but maybe, just maybe…
It was burnt to a crisp. The gold was blackened; the glass was broken, and golden sand was leaking onto the hardwood floors. The chain was still smoking.
The time turner was utterly useless, which meant he and Harry were stuck here until further notice.
Why had Regulus deaged but Harry hadn’t been erased from existence? Harry was still two years old and seemed content to just watch Regulus pace the length of the room. But Regulus was- how old was he?
Regulus grabbed a lantern and held it up to the calendar on his wall. The calendar was where it had always been, and in the corner, the number 1976 was printed.
Regulus was fifteen again. The month? August. The day? Regulus followed the Xed out squares down to the first blank one. 21.
August 21st, 1976.
That meant Sirius had ran away a year before. Regulus would be going back for his fifth year at Hogwarts in a little over a week. He hadn’t taken the Dark Mark yet. He was already dating James and Lily- for about six months, actually.
Regulus had planned to go to 1981 to save James and Lily. Now, he was five years too early. He was a teenager again, and he still had a kid to take care of. Had the Dark Lord even created the Horcrux yet?
This was a royal mess.
And to top it all off, Harry was in Number 12 Grimmauld Place… with Regulus’s parents.
That realization sunk in hard and fast. Walburga and Orion were sleeping on the floor below them, and if they woke up and found Harry…
No. Regulus couldn’t let them find Harry. He didn’t even want to imagine what they’d do to him.
He couldn’t hide Harry forever. What would Regulus do when he went back to Hogwarts? He definitely wasn’t going to leave Harry behind or leave him at an orphanage or something. That was out of the question. Regulus would never just abandon Harry. Regulus would rather die than let Walburga and Orion anywhere near Harry.
That left him one option. He had to run.
Where could he go? Sirius? No, this would be too hard to explain. How could he explain to James that Harry was his and Lily’s child and Regulus had been raising him after they died five years in the future? Andromeda? Regulus had no idea where she lived. Narcissa? No. As much as Regulus wanted to trust her, he feared she would call Walburga and Orion in a heartbeat and tell them everything.
Friends. Pandora? She would be most likely to believe him, but her parents and Evan were another story. Their parents would definitely call Walburga and Orion, and Pandora and Evan wouldn’t be able to hide him for long. Barty’s dad would probably hex Regulus three ways to Sunday if he stepped foot on their property. Dorcas was… complicated, ever since she found out Regulus had joined the Death Eaters. Sure, Regulus hadn’t done that yet, but he worried once she found out everything he’d done in the future, she would hate him all over again.
Regulus was on his own.
“Reggy?” Harry said. The quiet game was clearly over. “Where are we?”
Regulus wasn’t sure how to explain any of this to a child. He barely understood it himself.
“It doesn’t matter because we are getting out of here,” Regulus said in a light hearted tone as he grabbed his trunk and threw it open. He started tossing aside books and his school uniform and Quidditch gear.
He wouldn’t be going back to Hogwarts. He had to take care of Harry, find the Horcrux, defeat the Dark Lord. His education hardly mattered in the grand scheme of things.
(And yes, part of it was because he couldn’t face James and Lily or even Sirius. He couldn’t face the life he’d left behind- first, for the Death Eaters. Then, because he faked his death.)
Regulus grabbed some blankets and pillows, as well as soon clothes for himself. He’d need to buy some for Harry. If he got to Gringotts before the sun rose, he could get some money out the family vault before his parents even noticed he was gone. The only other thing he took was his wand, which he used to shrink down the trunk and placed it in his pocket.
Another letter from the Ministry appeared. Regulus cast a quick Incendio, and it turned to ashes. They didn’t try to send another letter after that.
“Where are we going?” Harry asked, ever the curious one.
“I don’t know yet,” Regulus admitted. “Anywhere but here.”
“Why?”
Regulus sighed and knelt in front of Harry. They didn’t have much time, and he needed Harry to stop asking questions for a few minutes so they could get out. Harry wouldn’t stop asking questions until he had an answer.
“Did I ever tell you I have a brother?” Regulus asked.
Harry’s eyes lit up. “Really?”
Regulus nodded. “Yeah, his name is Sirius. He ran away from home when I was fourteen.”
Harry tilted his head in confusion. “Why?”
“Because our parents aren’t very nice people,” Regulus explained. “They hurt us.”
Harry’s eyes widened. “But you say mommies and daddies should never hurt their kids.”
“They shouldn’t,” Regulus said. “That’s why Sirius ran away, and why I ran away when I was eighteen. That thing you were playing with is called a Time Turner. It sends people back in time. That’s what it did to us.”
Harry looked at the burnt time turner that Regulus had abandoned on the floor with an awed expression.
“I’m fifteen again, and we’re at my home… with my parents,” Regulus said. “They’re very bad people, and they’ll hurt us if they find us, which is why we have to run.”
Fear crept into Harry’s expression.
“Don’t worry. I’m not going to let them hurt you,” Regulus promised. They would hurt Harry over his dead body. “But I need you to be very quiet until we get away from here, okay?”
Harry nodded and held a finger to his lips.
Regulus nodded. “Good boy, Harry. Let’s get out of here.”
Regulus picked Harry up with Harry’s arms wrapped around Regulus’s neck and Harry’s legs around his middle. Regulus slowly eased the door open and peeked into the hallway.
Sirius’s door was across from his, empty for the past year. The hallway was empty, too.
Regulus eased the door open the rest of the way and stepped into the hallway. He waited a heartbeat, listening for footsteps. When he heard none, he started descending the stairs, avoiding the creepy steps. Harry was quiet as a statue, and if Regulus couldn’t hear his breathing, he would’ve thought Harry had fallen asleep.
Even Harry at two years old could sense the danger in this house. Maybe it was something in the air or in Regulus’s posture, but the fear was palpable. Harry knew it was important to be quiet, just as Regulus had learned the same thing at his age.
They made it to the first floor without interruption. The stairs led straight into the entrance hall, and the door was in sight. Regulus tip-toed over to the door and placed a hand on the doorknob.
“Young Master Regulus?”
Regulus whipped around, and Harry squeaked slightly in fear, the first noise he’d made since they’d left Regulus’s room.
Kreacher’s eyes widened when he saw the child Regulus was holding.
“Young Master Regulus, what-“ Kreacher started in shock.
“Shh, Kreacher, I don’t have time to explain,” Regulus said. “We’re leaving.”
“Leaving?” Kreacher whispered. “Kreacher does not understand. Who is the child?”
Regulus glanced at Harry, who clung to him tighter.
“This is Harry,” Regulus said. “He’s mine.” That was the best way Regulus could explain it. He couldn’t say Harry was James and Lily’s and Regulus had adopted (technically kidnapped) him and raised him for over a year. That would take too much time and too many words to explain, and Walburga was a light sleeper.
Kreacher didn’t even know where to begin or what questions to ask. He just looked between Harry and Regulus, stunned.
“We have to go. Please, Kreacher, just let us go,” Regulus begged. “You know what Mother and Father will do to us. Please…”
Regulus never pleaded, but he would gladly beg on his knees if it meant keeping Harry safe.
Kreacher hesitated a beat, but he had always been more loyal to Regulus than to their parents. Kreacher nodded.
“Kreacher, please don’t tell Mother and Father about Harry. Just tell them you didn’t see me,” Regulus said. He knew what he was asking Kreacher to do, and it pained him, but he needed to protect Harry.
“Kreacher cannot lie to Master and Mistress!” Kreacher exclaimed, scandalized.
Regulus knew Kreacher would do it if he could. He literally couldn’t, and both of them knew that.
Regulus drew his wand. “Let me Obliviate you. You can’t lie about what you don’t know,” Regulus pointed out.
Kreacher didn’t hesitate to nod. Kreacher had always done his best to protect Regulus, and this was the only way he could do that.
“Obliviate. Stupefy,” Regulus whispered in quick succession. Kreacher was unconscious before the memory had even fully faded. When Kreacher woke up, he would have no memory of seeing Regulus or Harry.
Regulus turned and opened the door, still holding Harry close. He closed it behind him and stood on the steps of Number 12 Grimmauld Place.
The fear poured over Regulus like a bucket of ice water. In the morning, his parents would discover he was gone, and the whole family would be after him. If they found him… it would be even worse than if Regulus turned around and accepted the punishment.
But it wasn’t just his own punishment. They would hurt Harry, too, and Regulus couldn’t allow that to happen.
“I need to run. You know I can’t stay here, Regulus. It’ll kill me,” Sirius had said the day he left. “Come with me.”
“You know I can’t.”
“You mean you won’t. For once in your life, Regulus, don’t be a coward.”
“I’m not the one running away from my problems instead of sticking them out. Go, Sirius.”
“Regulus-“
“Go.”
Regulus ran.