Just "friends"

I've tried.

I've tried for 2 weeks now to talk to him but he either doesn't listen to the conversation or I can't find him. And when we are talking he just brushes my worries off like its nothing. I don't want to give up, he's my bestfriend and I'm supposed to be there for him but I feel like I've failed him.

Cedric has become closer to me and is always around me. Which, yeah is great, but I just need to get a minute alone with harry. I don't even feel as much h as I felt for ced when he came back anymore, it's more platonic to me. I need to tell him, and I will as soon as harry comes around.

Harry doesn't come to school for the rest of the week. When I ask where he's gone Ron and hermione don't even know themselves which only makes me more paranoid, he's been avoiding me barely answering anyone's texts. This only makes me even more worried. There has been countless hours where I've tried to call him since Tuesday last week.

Thankfully, he comes to school the next Tuesday but even more not himself. He gets there early like he used to do a month ago before everything went to shit. As I walk up to them just after harry, hermione speaks in her motherly tone but strictly this time.

"Harry! What are you drinking?! Because its not water." I immediately look at him. His eyes are dilated and he rolls his eyes whilst they are bloodshot , he's acting loopy.

"Hermionee I'm fine. You need to stop worrying I just haven't slept and I'm tired. Anyway what have we got first today? Maths or science? "

But before me and Ron could speak hermione cuts us off.

"Harry James Potter! Have you been drinking again? What have I told you!" Oh. It all makes sense the way he's been acting.

Wait.

"Again?? What do you mean?!" I frantically ask trying to keep him steady but he only pulls away and places his hand on the wall. My heart sinks.

" I mean, that harry did this years ago and I told him that he'd hurt himself in the long run if he did it again and he managed to stay clean all this time."

"Harry..what's going on? Why are you drinking and why on earth are you ignoring me. Just talk to me, please." Small tears make home in my eyes, it breaks my heart to think he's doing this to himself and he won't even say a word to me.

"First of all, nothing I'm fine and I'm drinking because life is shit okay? And I like it ." He sways and hermione reaches out to put her arms around him in a hug but harry only pulls away the same way he did to me.

At the worst time, cedric comes up to us causing harry to unscrew the lid and drink half of the clear whiskey in his water bottle that no one but us can tell the difference. I can't even find in myself to turn to him since my eyes are so focused on harry and the turn he's taken.

"Harry please, despite what you think your still my bestfriend. Just talk to me that's all I ask" I say pleading.

"There's nothing to say, I'm fine." Taking another swig at his drink before hermione takes it off him and throws it in the bin. Though this doesn't stop him, because he takes another one from his bag but a full one this time.

Cedric then speaks up with his sweet voice that only makes me feel sick now. "Harry cmon nothing can be that serious. Why don't you go to your dad, James is it? Sure he'd help you in that field." I immediately pull my arm away from him, I go to speak to harry who just straightens and looks the most sober he has since he got here.

It was out of line for him to say that to harry considering he's sensitive about the topic of his father since it happened. The others are annoyed something in that tone was said but they don't know as much as I do, harry only told me the day it happened.

Taking another gulp of his alcohol "you know what, maybe I will. I'm going to talk to him and join him I'm sure he'd help. He's my dad after all." There's a pit in my stomach the minute that leaves his mouth.

But with that, while the gates are still open harry goes towards them and flees to who knows where. My expression matches Ron and hermiones, one of annoyance as we all look at cedric.

"Why would you say that? I'm sorry but I don't feel the love for you anymore and I haven't for awhile, you know very well he gets upset easily when his dad is involved. "

"But why? His dad is an alcoholic just like what he will be, he was the last time I remember anyway "

I can't help but punch him until he staggers across the room, no one talks about my bestfriend like that and gets away with it.

"Draco..what does he mean?" Hermione cautiously asks me.

"I'll tell you later, I need to get to harry" My heart beats frantically as I try to leave the gates to find him and hopefully get to Jim before he does something stupid, but to my luck the bell rings and they close. 'No..no please" I think.

Great, I have to wait 5 hours now. He could've done anything by then.

I return to hermione and Ron as we head towards our free period in the isolated part of the library.

Whispering I say "Okay, when harry was 9 his dad began drinking alcohol very often. By the time he was nearly 12, his dad died due to the poisoning and drink driving. So the topic is still very sensitive for him. " Tears start pooling in my eyes once again at the memory, I can only remember the heartbreak harry went through at the time and I'm also reminded of the past few weeks where I've basically neglected him and not bothered as much as I should've to talk to him.

Hermione was the first one to speak up, "Oh my god.thats horrible " she whispers.

"It is, he was such a mess when it happened, he cried so much and I could barely do anything. And now I haven't even noticed he's been struggling with whatever it is I've failed him. I don't even know where he is, or what he's doing.. I miss him. So much. What happened, Hermione? Everything was fine and then he refused to go near me." The tears spill over as she gathers me in a hug.

I can feel her tears falling at a slower pace than mine, "Oh draco.. he's barely talked to me either. When he distanced himself, it was him protecting his heart I promise. It was nothing to do with you."

"What do you mean, protecting his heart? Does he not trust me.?" It breaks me to think that harry felt like he couldn't tell me anything.

"No, I made him realise something and it scared him. He's not avoiding anyone I swear he deals with these things in his own way." None of this made me feel better, there was still an unsettling feeling in my stomach.

Ron suddenly graces us with the best idea I think he's ever had "draco, do you think you know where he'll be? If so, we could jump the gate and get to him. "

My eyes light up. Wiping my tears, "yeah, yeah I do. He always goes there when he feels down about it, he's taken me there a few times. Let's go"

It even shocks me that hermione is down for it.

We make it to the gate and climb over with minimal Injury.

I thenead them to the hogsmeade cemetery, where I remember his dad being buried. We must have just missed him though because a bouquet of white and yellow tulips were left along with a nite that's said

"To dad,

I know it's been awhile and I'm sorry, but I miss you. More now than ever. Since you've been gone I just feel lost, fair enough my friends have been there and made me forget for a bit, but today all the memories of the day I lost you came flooding back to me. Remember cedric? He brought you up again, knowing how you were before you passed.

Draco has been there until recently, he's been the support and best friend I needed but then I realised he loves him, cedric I mean, it shouldn't hurt me as much as it does. I'm just scared that he will cut me out the same way I lost you.

Truth is, dad, I've been drinking again. I've been told I'm turning into you and maybe I am, but the alcohol takes it away. That's what they don't understand, I just like to forget and I don't know what to do anymore. I'll see you again one day, maybe not yet but at some point I will. I miss and love you."

I read out which made me cry, why couldn't he talk to me. Tell me he was feeling like this, but it explains why he's been acting a certain way. I've abandoned him, he doesn't believe I need him anymore and that's far from the truth.

"I neglected him and made him think he couldn't talk to me at all, or that I'd even listen." I don't know where he is now.

"For all we know he could've bought another bottle and be getting more wasted than he already was at school." Hermione says to us.

I kneel down to the gravestone and cry while hermione hugs me and Ron stands there.

"Wait, I know where he'll be. He's either sat on the roof of the school or in the park 20 minutes away." With that, we head off to the park looking around the area for him but harry was nowhere to be found. Fuck. I need him to be okay, if anything ever happened to him I'd never forgive myself.

As quick as we could, we made ovgmur way back to school climbing over the gate and taking to private stairs to the back door and onto the roof. I immediately spot him and Ron and hermione tell me to go first so I can talk to him and he doesn't get overwhelmed. I whisper 'thank you' before cautiously walking over to him.

He doesn't notice due to his back facing me with the whiskey in his hand. As quiet as I could, I sit down next to Harry, not removing his drink because I wanted him to be comfortable enough to open up to me. "Hey har." I know he can hear me but he doesn't respond, only brings to drink back to his lips to drink, taking a bigger swig this time.

He's sat at the edge of the roof with his legs dangling down the front side so I turn, my legs crossed and face him although he's looking straight ahead.

"Why didn't you tell me, you know I'd listen no matter what. Just..please har. I know I've failed you and I feel like the worst but say anything, please. Don't push me away." Tears in my eyes once again. But he only drinks again and again.

"Sometimes it's just not easy, draco. Things change" in a raspy voice, most likely from his crying. All I want to do is hold him and protect him against the world, he's too much of a sweetheart.

"That never mattered to you, everything that was in your mind..you let me know. Why was it different this time. I get cedric- " after I said his name he shook his head and drank almost half of the whiskey " coming back confused you and changed the way you thought and the risk of our friendship. My mum told me you two was never civil and I'm so sorry I never noticed before, I couldn't handle it if I lost you."

He started crying a little too. "You don't get it, draco. I'm sorry for distancing myself from you but I had to. You were happy and I refused to ruin that for you and I still managed to do it. Wouldn't it just be better if I weren't here, it'd save you the need to worry wouldn't it? You don't have to be here I'm fucked up, I get it. But I'll always be this way. I'll always be the quiet, overdramatic kid who can barely let things go. I'm nothing special no matter what any of you guys think. "

My mind is reeling and the tears come faster, I can feel my heart break more with every sentence he just spoke. "Don't talk like that..ever. you are special, i will prove it to you and I need you here. I couldn't forgive myself if anything happened to you. Harry, I don't think you understand how much you mean to me..to us, I need you.. and this past month and a half has been so hard I miss you everyday. I only want my bestfriend back and not this idea of him."

Finally turning around to face me I get a glimpse of his face, the tear stains. His shiny green orbs stare into mine as he takes one more drink before setting it down. "Draco..you don't. You have this idea of me that you've had since we were kids thats the one you miss. When he came back, I realised that he was your first friends and even back then he was more important to you thank I were. You don't need to worry anymore, okay? I didn't tell you anything and only hermione because I knew that if I did, it would be the last straw for you and you'd hate me. I couldn't afford for that to happen."

His voice wavers slightly, I wish I knew how wrong he was. I need him. "No harry. Your not listening to me, I need you and I miss you so so much. I've been going insane for over a month wondering what I did wrong and why you wouldn't want to hold me or be near me anymore. It shouldn't have, but the time you've been away made me realise just how much you mean to me. Please, just listen to me. " 'I love you.' I wanted to say but I only just found it out myself and didn't want to scare him away.

He only shakes his head , "Why won't you believe me? Don't you trust me like you always did? " I say shying away afraid of his answer.

"Of course I do, draco. I just can't believe it, its difficult. I'm sorry. I want to, but I'll never be everything you need" he then slowly stands up, gathering his drink with him and making a route to leave, but there's no way he's going to slip away from me just like that.

I immediately stood up and grabbed his arm softly but firmly "Harry, your not walking away. Please don't leave, I love you. I need you and I've missed you more than anything." He stops abruptly placing his glass onto the side of the roof.

"What" whispering lowly.

I shake my head and interlink our hands while the other one held the right side of his face. "I love you, harry James Potter. More than anything in thid world and I've been over him a long time I'm not letting you go. It's you, it's always been you."

A small, watery smile graces his face and mine mirrors his.
"I love you too." He starts laughing whilst laying his head on my shoulder. My god, how much I've missed this.

"What?" A slight frown is on my expression, why is he laughing?

Before I could question any further, he explains himself "no I mean, I'm only laughing because hermione made me realise I fell in love with you the day before you kissed him and it crushed me. So I didn't know any better but to steal my mums whiskey and drink it over and over. I couldn't tell you because I thought you'd hate me"

I started chuckling too with some guilt. "I'm so sorry I made you feel like that, I feel horrible that I failed you but I am so in love with you harry"

Before I knew it, I kissed him. His arms wrapping around my neck to deepen it, angling his head. Through the kiss, I stroked his face and squeezed his hand whilst feeling sparks fly around us. He's my everything. My hand travels down to his waist pulling him closer to me, making us both smile into the kiss.

All too soon, we pull away before kissing for a few seconds again. "Never ever, do something like that and leave me again" whispering whilst connecting our foreheads.

"Never again, but please will you be my boyfriend dray?" shaking his head.

Smiling "I would love to as long as you never touch a bottle of alcohol again unless it's for an occasion and your monitored."

'Okay' he whispers again.

We just stand there for a few minutes before making our way down the secluded stairs to Ron and hermione, who smile widely back at us noticing both of our grins.

"So you both figured it out?" Hermione says the second we were in sight.

The second we stepped down, I grabbed his waist and kissed his temple murmuring "yep" .

"Harry potter, if you do anything like that again I will kill you. Did you not think? How we were all so worried for you. Your our bestfriend at the end of the day. Never do that again" pulling harry away from me in a hug

He sighs "I know, I know. I'm sorry"

She finally let's him go so harry can hug Ron, "I'm okay now, I promise" he says whilst making his way back to me laying his head on my shoulder and wrapping his arms around my waist allowing my to rest mine on his shoulders.

Ron and hermione are talking about something whilst walking to dinner but me and harry stay back for a few minutes.

"I missed this, and you so much. I missed hugging you and spending time with you like this" I whisper to him as he leans in (somehow) closer to me.

"We should get going for dinner babe" he says as if it's the most casual thing in the world.

"Mhm we will." I say before kissing him once again. This is where I want to be for the rest of my life, here, with him.

"Come on my lovee " I exaggerate whilst spinning him making him giggle and say

"Shut the fuck up." Playfully.

I gasp dramatically "That's no way to talk to your boyfriend "
Harry just rolls his eyes

"I hate you" looking at me with a fond look contradicting his words.

"Mm I love you too" kissing his head once again walking through the cafeteria doors.

Approaching our table, harry tenses next to me and before I can ask him what's wrong I notice cedric has sat at the table.
I only squeeze Harry's waist very lightly to let him know I'm there and not going anywhere, proudly smiling as his muscles relax.

We sit opposite him as I ask "what are you doing here?" With a bored expression I only use in school. Before I could react, he grabbed my hand which made a drumming motion on the table and the second he did I yanked it back like i held fire. In retaliation I glare at him whilst pressing a kiss to Harry's neck.

"Cedric, don't." I warn.

Before he could reply,

" I haven't liked you in a very long time and I don't think I ever did romantically. Our experiment made me realise how much I am inlove with harry and I just didn't notice. So I'm sorry but we were never going to work, now if you don't mind I would like to spend the rest of my time with my boyfriend and friends." In a final tone leaving him to stand up and walk away.

After that, he left and Ron and hermione began talking as harry turned to me before stealing one of my chips and chicken that fell out the wrap. "You little thief!"

"Your thief " he replies

"Yep, my crazy" Smiling before kissing him.

"I love you baby" making him smile and chuckle as he lays his head on my shoulder, sighing in contentment.

I could live like this for the rest of my life.

"So so much" kissing the part between his neck and jaw.

Looking up at me "i love you too"

I lean my head down onto his, comfortable and happy for the first time in forever.