Sirius Black is a proud person, everyone knows that. And yet, Sirius can admit when he's screwed up, and he fucked up big.
It was supposed to be a little joke, to send Snivellus, Snape... Severus off in a good mood, ahg, who was he kidding? Sirius panicked, okay? What was he supposed to do when he saw his younger brother so close to Snivellus. He was only worried about Regulus because the eldest Slytherin was hanging around with only Death Eaters. Something you caused yourself by separating him from his only friend, out of jealousy.
It was his last year as a student at Hogwarts. A few months and he'd be entering the Auror Academy with James. A few months and he'd begin his adult life. Leaving all childish behavior, aka the pranks he'd played on Snape, behind him.
When Lily started dating James—thank Merlin—despite the fact that the redhead was no longer Snape's friend, she'd asked the brunette to stop bothering him and leave him alone, that request including Peter and Sirius. And, in order to make Prongs happy, they gave him their word: they wouldn't bother the Slytherin anymore. But this counted as an exception, didn't it? Seeing his brother so...attached to Snape left a bitter taste in his mouth.
Ever since Regulus entered Hogwarts, he'd always been with Snape, but now it was different, wasn't it? His brother was already grown up; he should have stopped following the Slytherin like a lost pup, but no. Wherever Snape went, Regulus was quick to follow.
Moony once told him that what he felt was jealousy. Jealousy? Of what? Sirius is way better in every other way than Snivellus, if his brother needed help, the Gryffindor was the best option—a lie, since you left home and abandoned him in that horrible house, he hasn't spoken to you-. Regulus was most likely following Severus for some kind of dare...but every hug, every whisper spoken into each other’s ears made his blood boil.
What he did was totally justified, okay? Seeing Snape alone without Regulus around just made him act without thinking.
Now, Sirius couldn't think straight. In front of him was the door to the hospital wing, where Remus and Snape were. In his hands lay a note, a letter he didn't remember writing, but it was already crumpled from all the times he'd clenched his fist, deliberating whether or not to enter the hospital wing. This shouldn't have slipped out of his hands.
It was just a little joke, Prongs. He remembers saying at some point during the night before seeing James running off, with Peter following right behind him.
Taking deep breaths, Sirius slowly began to calm down. Telling Snape that his brother was waiting for him after school at the Shrieking Shack hadn't been a good idea. He hadn't even approached the Slytherin with that intention. He clutched the letter one last time before walking toward the courtyard, clutching the Invisibility Cloak tightly so as not to be caught.
Sirius is proud, so much so that it took him four years, and many conversations with Moony, to admit he liked Snape. It took him another year to stop sleeping with anyone with straight black hair and black eyes. And it was only when he admitted it out loud, in his empty dormitory, that he liked Severus that he started to notice his brother entering the equation.
It's not his fault, Padfoot. Remus once told him. Obviously it wasn't.
Because of James's prank after the sixth-year exams, Severus lost his best friend. James didn't charmed him into saying that insult, but he did make him explode, and Sirius did nothing but laugh fakely as he noticed the eyes he'd always liked lost his spark.
So, no, it wasn't Regulus's fault that he was always with Severus, considering his brother was the black-haired boy's only true friend.
He walked aimlessly until he reached the edge of the Forbidden Forest. Taking a deep breath, he removed the cloak and knelt behind some bushes that covered him completely. In his hands was the letter Remus had helped him write, in which he poured out his heart and apologized without really expecting forgiveness. He was going to give it to Severus today, but seeing him in his brother's sweater made him act out of jealousy.
He knew there was a full moon that night, he knew Regulus's last class was astronomy, and he knew Severus would be going to the Shrieking Shack when the moon would be at its peak… when Remus would be transformed.
And besides being proud, Sirius was a coward, despite what he showed his persona to be. Because instead of telling James the truth, that he liked Severus and that he acted without thinking, he lied, saying it was a joke. Now Remus and Severus are in the hospital wing, and Sirius doesn't know either of their physical conditions, if they’re injured or not.
A drop suddenly fell onto the letter in his hands. Sirius looked up, but only the reflection of the stars could be seen, not a single cloud present. He returned his gaze to the envelope, and more and more drops fell. It took him a moment to realize it was his own tears that were wetting the letter.
A drop of water suddenly fell onto the letter in his hands. Sirius looked up, but only the reflection of the stars stared back at him, not a single cloud present. He returned his gaze to the envelope, and more and more drops fell. It took him a moment to realize it was his own tears that were wetting the letter.
If only Sirius had put aside his jealousy and simply given the letter to Severus, if only he had stopped James from casting Levicorpus at Severus, if only he hadn't mocked the little boy who excitedly told him he wanted to be in Slytherin, perhaps Severus wouldn't be in the hospital wing because of him.
Abruptly wiping away his tears, he began to dig a hole in the ground. As he was about to cover the letter with the soil he dug out, he heard a branch snap behind him. Startled, he quickly turned around, pointing his wand high. It took his vision a moment to adjust to the Lumos glow of the person in front of him. Before he recognized the person by sight, he recognized their voice.
"What are you doing?"
A moment of silence passed before Sirius found his voice.
“Snape? What are you doing here?”
“I asked what you’re doing, Black, not for my name. Besides, Madam Pomfrey discharged me,” Severus lowered his wand, illuminating the hole and the half-buried letter. “Huh, it seems you really are a mongrel.”
Sirius stood speechless, his mouth agape at Severus, who looked just...normal? He didn't look at all like he was almost werewolf food. In fact, he looked fine, his long hair seemingly haloed with light from the colors of the dawn that were just beginning to appear. Dawn? How long had he been outside?
"So, are you going to answer my question, or should I just leave?" The Slytherin brought him back from his thoughts. Gulping, and avoiding the taller man's gaze, Sirius grabbed the letter, wiped it somewhat clean, and stood up to be level with Severus.
“Well, um…” He cleared his throat before continuing. “First of all, are you okay? I know what I did was wrong. I just got carried away by my jealousy and clearly didn't think through the consequences. I actually wanted to give this to you this morning, but I saw you in Regulus's sweater and my mouth just started spitting out words, like it's doing now, sorry.” Sirius sighed before reaching out and handing the letter to Severus.
“And what is this-” Without looking at him, Sirius interrupted him.
“This explains everything.” He nervously put his hands in his pockets, while he waited for Severus to read the letter.
He noticed out of the corner of his eye how Severus raised his eyebrow before opening the envelope and beginning to read. A couple of minutes passed, the only sounds being those of the forest and the turning of pages in the letter. Yes, Sirius had written four full 12-inch sheets, all grammatically corrected by Moony, thank you very much.
The Gryffindor was starting to get worried until he heard the Slytherin laugh.
“You’re a complete idiot, Black.” Yes, he knew that, there was no need to remind him. Sirius was about to answer, but Severus continued. “I’m not the best at expressing myself using words, but I’ll try anyway.” Gathering what little courage he had, the grey-eyed man looked up from the floor to Severus, who had averted his gaze, looking embarrassed, clutching Sirius’s letter tightly. Sighing, the Slytherin continued. “I'm not going to lie and say that all these years of bullying didn't cause me any problems, but I also started to develop a sort of…attraction toward you.” Okay, Sirius was hallucinating. “Which seems illogical seeing that because of you, I no longer have my best friend, and today would have gotten pretty ugly if I didn't know about Lupin's condition.”
…
WHAT THE WHAT!
It seems Sirius's face was too funny because when Severus looked back at him, he gave a small laugh which he covered with his hand. Cute.
“WHAT! Since when?!”
“Probably as long as you three, Black, I’m no idiot,” Severus sighed sarcastically before continuing. “Still, I approached Lupin with a deal—he helps me get closer to obtaining my Potions Mastery while I supply him with experimentally enhanced versions of Wolfsbane Potion—but that’s besides the point.”
Severus began to approach Sirius and the Gryffindor felt his heart leap out of his chest. “What you did today only demonstrates your emotional immaturity.” With each step, Sirius felt smaller and smaller, at Severus’s mercy, and he kinda liked the feeling. “But owning up to your mistakes and accepting your own flaws it’s kind of where you can start to become a better person, so…”
There came a point where the sky was already bright enough for Severus to put away his wand. This allowed Sirius to notice up close all the details he liked about the Slytherin. His obsidian eyes that seemed to absorb all his attention, his tough but perfect nose, the small, almost invisible freckles all over his face, and long eyelashes framing his almond-shaped eyes. He was so lost in Severus that he realized too late that the hand that had been holding his wand was now holding his face.
Causing Sirius to meet his gaze. Gray meeting black. Severus shifted his gaze to the Gryffindor's lips.
This isn't happening, Sirius thought as he saw Severus narrow his eyes and lean closer to the grey-eyed face.
This isn't happening, Sirius thought as Severus junite his lips with his in a soft kiss.
It seemed like Sirius took a little longer to react, as he felt the Slytherin begin to pull away. Without hesitating for a second, Sirius reconnected his lips with Severus's, taking him by the waist while he felt Severus take him by the shoulders, bringing their bodies closer together.
The kiss was everything Sirius thought it would be, and more. One kiss and he knew he could never get enough. He moved his lips slowly, tasting and chasing after Severus, following the dark-haired lead. The contact ended very quickly, separating only enough to look into the other’s eyes. If Severus was blushing all the way to his ears, Sirius didn't want to know what he looked like.
The Gryffindor was about to move in for another kiss when Severus covered his mouth with his hand.
“I won’t forgive you so easily…” The Slytherin removed his hand to give him a quick kiss before continuing. “But you can try,” Severus finished with a smile.
“Thank you for the opportunity,” Sirius replied, gently releasing his hold on the raven’s waist.
“Tch, thank Lupin, he summed up your five years of troubles in two minutes.” Severus said, letting go of Sirius’s shoulders and slipping the letter into his pocket. “Shall we go back to the castle? Madam Pomfrey will kill me if she doesn’t see me on the hospital bed.”
“Didn’t Madam Pomfrey discharge you?” Sirius asked in confusion.
Severus just shrugged with a smile as he extended his hand for Sirius to take. He didn't hesitate to do so. He picked up James's cloak and, hand in hand, they began walking back to the castle.
Pride and Sirius were one in the same, but Sirius would put everything aside to be with Severus…starting with finding a way to make it up to the Slytherin and win his heart (and maybe a lot more kisses).