Sirius hears the knock on the door and freezes.
It’s two in the morning and he was just staring at nothing, thinking about going to bed but not sure if he can fall asleep yet. Who could be at the door on a random Tuesday in the middle of the night? Whoever it is, they’re knocking again, a bit more urgently this time. Sirius gets up hesitantly and walks towards the front door of the house. Strangely, the wards around the place didn’t warn him of any intruder, so it must be someone with no malicious intentions. Maybe someone’s hurt and came for help?
He opens the door and stops breathing. There on his doorstep is a tall, brown-skinned, muscular man with messy black hair and glasses over dark bronze eyes.
“Hi padfoot” he smiles.
“James?”
Sirius stands there with huge bulging eyes, not breathing and unable to move. James has his hands in his pockets, and he’s bowing his head a bit apologetically, though his eyes remain on Sirius’.
“No, you died six years ago… What… What?”
“Can I come in Pads? I would really appreciate some tea if that’s alright”.
Sirius steps aside, feeling dazed, and lets James walk past him into the living room. He stands there alone for a few seconds then follows. His formerly dead best friend is sitting on the sofa, looking curiously at the full bookshelves and record collection, and smiles.
“So you and Moony are still together then? That's amazing mate, I’m so happy for you”.
Sirius can’t do anything but stand and stare.
“James, you were dead. I saw your body. I mourned for you. I… What the fuck?”
James leans back and sighs “I don’t actually know, to be honest. I was at Godric’s Hollow watching the green light coming at me, and in the next moment I was standing right outside your door. I know time passed but that’s about it”.
Sirius opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. He slowly approaches the sofa and sits at arm's length from the impossibility in front of him.
“Are you real?” he whispers.
“As real as I can be”.
A pale, slender hand reaches forward and hesitantly touches a brown, muscular arm. It feels warm. Soft. Solid. Real. Sirius immediately starts sobbing, unable to breathe. James pulls him into his arms, and he buries his head in the lap of his adopted brother, hugging his waist like he’ll never let go.
After what feels like forever, Sirius calms down and sits up, close enough to James that their thighs are touching. His head is on the shoulder that always felt like comfort, and home, and his hands are clutching the arm closest to him like a child hugging a beloved teddy bear. James lets him do what he wants, understanding the need for reassurance.
“Tell me how’ve you been. What’s happened in your life”.
“Um. I don’t even know where to start. Peter betrayed us all and brought Voldemort to your hiding place,”
“Yeah, I opened the door for him only to see his bloody master standing there as well” James murmurs bitterly.
Sirius takes a shaky breath “When I got there, I found the house ruined and your… your body on the floor” he takes a few more deep, shaky breaths and James squeezes his arm with his free hand. “I found Lily’s body in the nursery” a sharp inhale from the widower “Then I made sure Harry is alright and brought him to Moony and mine’s flat”.
James’ head snaps up and he stares with wide, incredulous eyes “Harry is alive?! I didn’t even think that was a possibility!”
Sirius smiles warmly “He is. He’s a really sweet, kind little boy that looks so much like you, but has Lily’s common sense”.
“Thank Merlin for that” they both laugh through their tears.
“Can I go see him? I won’t wake him, I just want to hear him breathing”.
“I’m sorry Prongs, he’s at a friend's house right now because the full moon was yesterday, and it was a bad one. Moony still needs some time to rest quietly”.
“Oh” he deflates. They stay silent for a few minutes.
“So, you two are raising him? Is he… Happy? Are you?”
Sirius smiles but his eyes remain sad “We are. There’s always sadness, like in the happy moments when I can’t help but think how you should be there too, but all in all, we have a good life. Harry has friends, and support, and he’s confident, and curious, and he’s surrounded by love. He hears about his parents all the time and he includes you when he’s painting his family. Remus writes books and articles, and I built a program that financially and emotionally supports all students in need, whether muggle-born, half-bloods, or pure-bloods. It’s almost everything I’ve ever dreamed of, except for you not being here”.
Now James is the one sobbing, his hands covering his face while Sirius rubs his back gently. “Thank you Pads. You have no idea what this means to me. I knew you would be the best choice in the world in case something were to happen to me and Lily. I love you so much, thank you, thank you” he cries in both grief and happiness.
“Nothing to thank me for. That’s what family does”.
They hold each other closely, crying, smiling, and laughing until the dawn breaks and rays of sunlight illuminate their faces.
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Sirius wakes up gasping for breath. His face is wet and most of his body is numb from the wet coldness. Just another dream. He thinks the dementors let him keep his happy dreams because they’re the most painful to wake up from. He curls in the corner of his cell, sobbing soundlessly.