Exit Wounds

If anyone ever asked, Regulus would refuse to admit that he covered his ears when his parents and brother were fighting. It was childish and immature and unbecoming of Black to flinch back from loud noises and clamp his hands over his ears to block out the screaming matches.

But that was exactly what he did. Regulus laid on the bed and covered his head with the blanket, his hands pressing against his ears, trying to muffle the yelling. It only worked slightly, the voices still distinct and loud but just slightly quieter.

Regulus didn’t even know what they were fighting about. His brother defending Muggleborns? Being in Gryffindor, even though he had been sorted five years ago? Wanting to go to James Potter’s? General disgraceful behavior? It didn’t really matter. They fought most nights anyway, so Regulus couldn’t keep track of everything they fought about.

Regulus groaned. Couldn’t they go one night without fighting? Why did Sirius have to antagonize his parents? Couldn’t he just-

“AHHHH!”

Regulus sat up, throwing off his blanket. The scream was so loud, his hands didn’t even do anything to muffle it. The scream ripped through the house, painful and blood curdling, the kind that reached you like an electric shock, sudden and jarring and terrifying.

It was even more terrifying because Regulus knew that scream. He had heard it before- anywhere from the wail of a child with a skinned knee to a pained yell when his parents cursed him- but never that agonized. His brother. Sirius.

Regulus stumbled out of bed and wrenched open his door, running down the staircase. He didn’t even bother trying to be quiet. His whole focus was on Sirius. It’s not like his parents could hear him over Sirius’s screaming anyway.

Regulus came to the last staircase that led down to the first floor. He stopped just before he reached the banister, which overlooked the parlor. He took a deep breath, panic running rampant in his veins, and then, he looked over the banister.

Regulus felt like his heart had been ripped out of his chest when he saw his brother lying on the floor of the parlor, writhing and thrashing. Walburga had her wand pointed at her eldest son, a blue light fixed on Sirius, and she was smiling cruelly as she tortured her son. Orion stood off to the side, as cold and unfeeling as ever. Sirius screamed and arched his back, trying to escape the spell. Blood streamed down his face from his nose.

Walburga released the spell, and Sirius slumped to the ground, breathing heavily. He was shaking.

“Have you changed your mind, Sirius?” Walburga asked.

Sirius spit out blood. “Go… to… Hell,” he panted.

Walburga glared. “You will fulfill your duties as a Black, even if I have to torture you until you do. Crucio!”

Sirius screamed, thrashing against the spell. Regulus watched, frozen, from the staircase.

Walburga released the spell after a moment. “It is your duty as a Black to serve the Dark Lord.”

Regulus stifled a gasp. They wanted Sirius to be a Death Eater? Sirius would never agree to that!

“I won’t become a Death Eater,” Sirius said as steadily as he could. “You can torture me all you want. I won’t.”

Walburga raised her wand. Sirius flinched.

“Crucio!”

Sirius screamed.

Regulus didn’t even think. He knew his mother would probably kill him, but he didn’t care. All he cared about was his brother- the big brother who taught him Quidditch and read him storybooks, who protected him from their mother’s wrath and who Regulus still cared about, even if he and Sirius fought all the time and insulted each other and hexed one another in the halls, even if Sirius had replaced him with James Potter- being tortured. Sirius, brave, strong Sirius, was screaming and writhing on the floor, in pain and scared.

Regulus drew his wand and sent the first spell on his mind at Walburga- Expilliarmus.

Walburga’s wand flew out of her hand. She stared at her empty hand in confusion and then traced the spell’s path to the staircase. Regulus ran up the stairs, sprinting towards his room.

His mother was going to kill him. His mother had once sliced a cutting spell down his back because he broke a vase. For disarming her and stopping her from torturing Sirius? She was going to kill him.

Regulus ran into his room and closed the door behind him, staring at it in terror. His mother was going to come upstairs any minute and torture him just like Sirius-

But instead of his mother’s footsteps, practiced and even, even when she was enraged, he heard stumbling footsteps making their way up the stairs. There were several bangs, as if the person kept falling, and through the door, Regulus could hear the person breathing heavily and occasionally whimpering.

Sirius.

Regulus heard the door to Sirius’s bedroom open. When he didn’t hear his mother’s footsteps follow, he slowly opened his own bedroom door.

Across the hall, Sirius’s bedroom door was open, and Sirius was throwing stuff in his trunk. Regulus watched as he closed the lid of his trunk and grabbed the handle. Sirius dragged it towards his bedroom door, not even caring when it scuffed the floor, which their mother would surely hex him for. Sirius dragged his trunk out the door and then turned to face Regulus… well, Regulus’s bedroom door. Sirius stopped short, clearly not expecting Regulus to be standing in his doorway.

Sirius and Regulus locked eyes from across the hall. Regulus looked into Sirius’s eyes and saw pain, not just physical, and determination. Looking between Sirius’s determined eyes and the trunk he was dragging behind him, Regulus knew what his brother planned to do.

Sirius looked into Regulus’s eyes and saw… well, Regulus wasn’t sure what he saw. It kept Sirius standing there, locked in the gaze, for a couple of moments.

Regulus saw something flicker across Sirius’s eyes. Maybe… grief? Or wistfulness? Like he would actually miss Regulus?

And then his expression hardened, and Sirius started dragging his trunk towards the stairs.

Regulus watched him go. Everything in him was screaming at him to follow, to stop Sirius, to yell after him, to do something. But he was rooted to the spot. Sirius was leaving. Regulus had seen it in his eyes; Sirius had made up his mind and nothing, much less Regulus, the little brother he despised, could change that. And Regulus couldn’t follow either. Sirius may have been able to escape their family with Gryffindor, the Marauders, and the Potters, but Regulus was stuck here, bound to their family in too many ways to untangle. All he could do was watch Sirius walk out of his life, and the line that bound him and Sirius- blood, family, name- stretched and frayed and then snapped.

The door slammed shut behind Sirius.

“That disgrace! How dare he walk out on our family, after all we’ve given him?” Walburga shrieked like a banshee. “I’ll show him what we do to disgraces!”

Regulus leaned against the doorway and sunk to the ground. His brother was gone. He was alone- in this house, in this family, in the world. A crippling agony coursed through him as grief shook him to his core.

His brother was gone.

“Incendio!” His mother screamed.

Regulus knew what she had done. He would have even if he hadn’t felt the punch to the chest as Sirius’s name was burned off the tapestry. Sirius was disowned, and the family magic that weighed heavy in his chest reacted. A string was cut, and whatever was left of the line between him and Sirius burned until it was nothing.

Regulus never cried. Blacks didn’t cry. But in that moment, he couldn’t help the sob that escaped him, tears overflowing from his eyes and streaming down his face.

His brother was gone. He was alone.

“Regulus!” His mother yelled, and she sounded angry. Well, she always sounded angry but even angrier than usual.

And he had severely ticked off his mother.

A part of Regulus wanted to hide under the bed or in the wardrobe like he used to do as a child, but he knew that would only make it worse. He had too many memories of being locked in a dark cupboard to forget the consequences of hiding from his mother.

Regulus scrubbed his tears away and stood up. His heart was pounding in his chest, and his hands were shaking. He clasped them behind him to hide the trembling. Then, he started down the stairs.

Regulus took a deep breath and tried to erase any emotion from his face as he reached the bottom of the stairs and entered the parlor.

His parents faced him, and they both looked so… calm. An uneasiness spread through Regulus. Anger was familiar and expected. Calmness wasn’t, and it set him on edge.

“Regulus, your mother and I have discussed it,” Orion stated. “After the disgraceful actions of that blood traitor, we wanted to avoid any missteps on your part due to his bad influence.”

Regulus’s breath froze in his throat, thinking of Sirius writhing on the floor under the Cruciatius Curse.

“You do not have to worry about that, Mother, Father,” Regulus said as calmly as he could. “I am loyal to the family.”

“We know that,” Walburga said, “but we want to take some precautions. Your misbehavior earlier has concerned us that you may care for that blood traitor and wish to protect him.”

“No, he is disowned from the family. He has made his choice and does not deserve my loyalty or protection,” Regulus tried to assure them.

“Even so,” Walburga said, and she raised her wand. Regulus took a small step back, his instincts screaming at him to run. “Everyone in this family is better off forgetting that blood traitor, but you may benefit from a more… literal approach to that.”

The realization of what that meant sunk in, and Regulus’s eyes widened. He took another step back.

His mother pointed her wand at his terrified eyes. “Obliviate.”

“You’re a puppet, Regulus! You do everything Mother and Father tell you to do! You watched as they beat me and cursed me. You’re a coward.”

“So I’m a coward for having some self-preservation instincts?”

“You have no backbone! You never stand up for yourself! You’ve never stood up for me! James has been there for me more than you ever have!”

“Well, too bad Potter isn’t your brother.”

“I wish he was.”

“Well, I’m your actual brother.”

“No. You’re not my brother.”

The memory evaporated. Despite how painful the memory was, Regulus clung to it. He couldn’t forget, he couldn’t-

The memory slipped through his fingers.

“Gryffindor is great, Regulus! And muggleborns aren’t all that Mother and Father say they are. They’re actually really nice, and one of the girls in Gryffindor is a Muggleborn and she’s top of our class!”

“But Mother and Father say Muggleborns don’t deserve magic and that they’re inferior to purebloods,” Regulus said, parroting his parents.

Something in Sirius’s eyes shuttered. “They’re wrong.”

Regulus frowned. Mother and Father were never wrong.

Sirius smiled again. “And I love Gryffindor! I’ve made a lot of friends. My best friends are James Potter, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. One time, James and I-“

Regulus beamed listening to Sirius’s stories. Almost all of Sirius’s stories involved James, and the more Sirius talked about James, the less Regulus smiled. It was the first time he felt replaced.

The memory vanished.

“I’m going to Hogwarts, Reggie!”

“Promise me you won’t forget me?”

“I promise.”

The memory disappeared just like the promise.

“It’s a Muggle storybook.”

“Cool. Where’d you get it?”

“Andromeda gave it to me. You want to hear one of the stories, Reggie?”

Regulus grinned and nodded enthusiastically.

Sirius smiled and opened the Muggle storybook.

“Sleeping Beauty. King Stefan and Queen Leah were good and fair rulers, ruling over the kingdom of Constancia. Queen Leah gave birth to a baby girl, and they named her Aurora. The king and queen invited the whole kingdom to Aurora’s christening. Among the guests were three fairies who would bestow three gifts on Princess Aurora…”

The memory evaporated and dissipated.

“Don’t worry, Reggie. I won’t let you fall.”

Regulus sat on the broom with Sirius behind him, floating only a few feet above the ground.

“Promise?”

“I promise.”

Regulus nodded and started to float higher. He trusted his brother.

Within minutes, he was shouting in excitement, racing around on the broom.

Regulus clung to the memory, but it was like trying to catch smoke. The memory disappeared.

“Here you go, Reggie,” Sirius said, handing something to Regulus.

It was a lion, crafted from glossy black stone.

“Thank you, Siri,” Regulus beamed.

“Do you know what your name means, Reggie?”

Regulus shook his head.

“It means Heart of the Lion. It means you’re going to be very brave.”

Regulus smiled. He wanted to be brave.

The memory disappeared. So did every other memory of his brother.